A/N: aaaand here is another one of my aokuro week entries, which can also be found on my tumblr (link in my profile)
Daiki thought that after all they've been through getting back together would be impossible. To be completely honest, he feared that this time he screwed up and there was no way to change it. But as always Tetsu surprised him when their relationship progressed naturally from where they left off, as if that whole 'the only one who can beat me is me' phase didn't happen. For the most part he was relieved, and yet some part of him stirred in uneasiness.
It was awkward, for him at least, to go back to the way they used to be. He was different, changed, they both were. Many times he wanted to say something about it, but he always stopped himself. Only one look was enough to tell him that Tetsu was well aware of the problem and didn't want to talk. Respecting his wishes was hard on him, yet Daiki promised to never let Tetsu bear his burden again. If he was meant to suffer, he'd do it alone, without involving his loved ones.
A heavy sigh to his right made him look at his boyfriend, whose clear eyes were glazed with concern and a hint of exasperation. 'Why do you have to be like this, Aomine-kun?'
'Huh? Like what?' he blinked in confusion. He didn't do anything, not this time. Honestly.
A flash of irritation passed through Tetsu's eyes, and Daiki couldn't help but think that he was going to get punched. Be it the other's composure, or his completely clueless look, his boyfriend only sighed, turning his head away from him.
'What were you thinking about just now?' his voice was calm, and Daiki knew he was serious. He shifted from leg to the other nervously.
'You,' He didn't want to talk about it, if Tetsu tried to avoid the subject so much. But he didn't want to lie either. 'And me.'
He noticed how sudden tenseness entered his boyfriend's back, how his head hung low. It wasn't as if they could move on without talking about it, right? Daiki tried to convince himself that this was the only choice, but deep down he knew. Once again he was burdening Tetsu with his problems. How much longer will that lithe body be able to support him? How much more collateral damage will he take?
'Don't go back to the past,' Tetsu's hands were clenched in fists, trembling slightly. 'Think of me, think of the present and the future, of our future, together.'
He should be honest here, not only with Tetsu, but also with himself. It was too painful to look at his boyfriend, so he turned away from the hunched figure. 'I can't.'
How was he supposed to think of them together if every day he wondered why someone like Tetsu was still with him? He was, Tetsu was… bright. They've been called light and shadow in middle school, and maybe on court it was so, but in real life it was Tetsu who was the light. His light. Chasing away his shadows, his fears, but too bright to look at. And it was painful, because Daiki knew he'd never be worthy of it.
'I can't, Tetsu,' something inside him broke, an invisible lock on his emotions slipping open. 'How can you just go on as if nothing happened? I hurt you, I hurt you bad, don't even try to deny it!' he took a step closer to the other, seeing that Tetsu tried to say something. He didn't let him. 'Why, after all of this, why are you still with me? You could be with someone else, someone better than me, someone who would never make you feel‑'
'Shut up!'
And Daiki did. Tetsu never shouted, never raised his voice, never. Daiki himself has heard it only once before, back in middle school, when they both stood on that cursed river bank. After that, he never wanted to hear it again. And yet here he was. Opening his mouth to say something, he closed it without making a sound. In silence he watched the small figure of his boyfriend tremble before him.
'Yes, you hurt me,' Tetsu's voice was tight and tense. 'You have no idea what I felt, you don't know how painful your behaviour was to watch, you can never imagine how hard it was to just continue living from day to day, you know nothing!'
Daiki wanted to ask why did he continue to chase him then, but the words froze on his tongue as Tetsu spun around, fierce light blue eyes burning right through him. There was a big difference in height between the two of them, but looking into the other's eyes, Daiki found himself overwhelmed with emotions and small, as a child shying away from danger.
'You hurt me, Aomine-kun,' something fragile entered Tetsu's voice when he turned his head to the side. 'Sometimes it still hurts…'
'Then why-'
'But even if it hurts, even if in the future you will hurt me again, you have no right to decide this for me! Don't choose my happiness for me, Aomine-kun.'
They looked at each other in silence. Tetsu has always been stubborn, but could this really be how he felt about it? He would just stay with him no matter how painful it was? And this was happiness? Daiki couldn't understand it. It must have shown on his face, because Tetsu took a step closer.
'This is where I want to be,' he said, and there was no hesitation in his eyes. 'I've fought to get you back,' Tetsu's hand clutched the front of Daiki's shirt, 'and now that I've got you, I won't let you go ever again.'
Daiki didn't speak for a while. Something was still troubling him. Looking down into bright blue eyes, he asked, 'Are you really happy with me, Tetsu?'
'Do you think I would go to such lengths for just about anyone?'
'Knowing you, you would,' he touched the other's slightly cold cheek, sliding his thumb across the cheekbone in a gentle caress.
His hand was covered by a slightly smaller one, and Tetsu smiled, a tiny uplift of the corner of his mouth, but it was enough for Daiki.
'I am. I am really happy being with you, Aomine-kun.'
Sudden tightness in his throat made Daiki step closer and crush the other in a hug. His heart was beating wildly, mind spinning with relief. Tetsu was amazing, strong and beautiful, his determination steel, smiles gentle and precious. Daiki knew, he was the luckiest man in the world.
'I don't deserve you,' he whispered into the mop of light blue hair.
'No, you don't,' came a muffled reply.
'Oi, Tetsu!'
The sound of the other laughing filled the air, and for a while Daiki just relished in the pure joy vibrating along with it in his chest. When mirth-filled eyes looked up at him, he could do nothing else but smile brightly, and leaned down for a kiss.
After all the pain and tears, Tetsu still wanted to be with him, still enjoyed being with him, still fought for him… The only thing that mattered to Daiki now was making up for it, making Tetsu truly happy, giving him what he deserved. And if being by his side was what did it, who was he to deny him?
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