Title- Christmas Before the First
Summary - Jimmy is not sure he's prepared for fatherhood.
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Jimmy decorated the house under his wife's careful eye. He didn't mind. Order was part of his job, even if he was picking up Ducky's habit of meandering from one topic to another. However, when he got to the tree, he stopped. When he did this next year there would be gifts under there for his first born.
How impossible did that seem? It had been such a hard emotional road to parenthood. Jimmy had been so frustrated, more than he showed. It hurt to be unable to achieve what others were able to do so easily, by accident, unwanted. Soon he would be a dad.
Jimmy wasn't ready. He didn't really know who to talk to either. Ducky had no children. Neither did McGee or Tony. He couldn't ask Gibbs, and not just because the man made him jumpy. It would be a cruel reminder of what Gibbs had lost. Gibbs hadn't shown any signs that he wanted to talk about Kelly, and Jimmy had to respect that.
He stared at the box of bulbs he was supposed to put on the tree, glittery glass. Would this be the last year for them for a long time to come? It wasn't as if he had messed with the tree as a kid. Maybe no one was prepared for their first child. That made sense. Everyone had to start somewhere. Why should he be any worse than anyone else?
Jimmy smiled and got back to work. He might not be ready, but he was going to be good at this. The alternative was too dark to bear thinking on. After all, he wouldn't be alone. The image of Abby babysitting in her platform scary boots made Jimmy laugh. With a 'family' like his friends at NCIS, how could he go wrong?