Normal Text
Thoughts
Flashback
SUMMARY: Ichigo always thought that Byakuya hated him. So when Ichigo finds out what he said to Tsukishima – that Byakuya would not hesitate to kill any enemy of Ichigo's – Ichigo decides to find out how Byakuya really feels about him.
WARNINGS: ByaIchi, explicit yaoi, side pairing Renji x Rukia
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach, it is the property of Tite Kubo.
This story begins towards the end of the Fullbringer arc (the end of the anime).
Byakuya sat in one of the rooms of his house, looking at a picture of his deceased wife. He thought back to the events of a few days previously as he looked over the various cuts adorning his body:
At first he believed that Tsukishima couldn't even get close to him, as Byakuya had Senbonzakura. However, his enemy used his Fullbring, 'Book of the End' to insert his existence into the past of the building they were standing on, so it shifted underneath their feet. Byakuya was already aware of his power, but this action revealed that it also worked on inanimate objects. Tsukishima then inserted himself into the past of Byakuya's Zanpakuto, so that he knew its weakness, the 'safe zone' required to prevent the blades of Byakuya's techniques from hitting the user. He then took advantage of Byakuya's moment of surprise to cut along his chest. With this cut he became Byakuya's benefactor, the one who helped Byakuya learn his techniques.
When Byakuya's sword broke, he had no choice but to enter Bankai, activating his Senbonzakura Kageyoshi to attack Tsukishima. Tsukishima attempted to enter his 'safe zone' but Byakuya merely allowed the petal-blades to come closer to himself, allowing his technique to work on Tsukishima. He had realised that he had to do something new, as everything he had learnt previously would be ineffective, as Tsukishima knew all of it.
"Trying to cut me with that is ridiculous", Tsukishima observed. "You can make Senbonzakura Kageyoshi move twice as fast if you control it with your hands, right? It feels like it's moving even faster than that. But you do realise it, don't you? The more you train yourself to be faster, the narrower your safe zone becomes. It's suicidal."
Byakuya continued to use his technique, however, when Tsukishima grabbed his arm, the technique collapsed downwards, allowing Byakuya no time to dodge the petal-blades.
"The safe zone is meant to give you minimal response time to dodge your own blades in the event you lose control", Tsukishima continued. "When you increase the speed of your blades and narrow your safe zone, if I disrupt your timing a little, you won't be able to dodge them." Blood dripped onto the floor from Byakuya's arm, which had been severely cut by his own technique. "Well? Do you understand? You can't defeat me no matter what you do."
Byakuya ignored him, lifting his wounded arm and holding it straight out in front of his body, his eyes closed.
"You're using kido now?" Tsukishima observed. "Before you fall into despair, I'll tell you something. I know how to cancel out all of the kido techniques you use." Tsukishima walked closer to Byakuya. "Come on. Why don't you try one out on me?" He spread his arms open, leaving his torso unprotected, as he continued to approach Byakuya, who remained unmoving. As he stood only inches away from Byakuya, the captain's eyes shot open and he opened his hand, petal-blades pushing their way through Tsukishima's chest. Tsukishima looked shocked as he realised that Byakuya had caught some of his own blades in his hand, to use them when Tsukishima came close enough. "I never thought you could fight like that", he groaned out in pain.
"I used to think that battle was something you trained for and went into fully prepared. But today, for the first time during our battle, I experienced the ecstasy of being in the moment between life and death. Thank you. I enjoyed our battle."
Tsukishima lay on the floor bleeding as Byakuya waited to be freed from this fake world.
"How cruel of you", Tsukishima muttered. Byakuya turned slightly to look at his defeated opponent. "Am I not...your benefactor...? Doesn't it pain your heart to do this...?"
"You are indeed my benefactor", Byakuya replied. "And I do appreciate it. However, you are Ichigo Kurosaki's enemy. I will not hesitate to kill that enemy. Regardless of who they are."
As Byakuya sat in the room he also remembered what had happened earlier that day:
Byakuya was standing with the other captains, who were lined up in two rows facing each other, the head captain seated at one end, when Ichigo entered the room. Byakuya had assumed that Ichigo would have wanted to cut all ties with the soul society, however...
"Ichigo Kurosaki", Yamamoto began. "You fought admirably."
"Oh, let's forget about that", Ichigo responded. "I didn't come here today to be praised for my efforts."
"Then what did you come for?" Yamamoto asked.
"Yeah. It's about Ginjo's body, that you had Renji retrieve – I want to bring it back to the World of the Living and give it a proper burial."
At this statement, the captains all reacted, as did Rukia and Renji, crouched at the back of the room. Hirako stepped forward:
"Do you realise what you're asking?!"
"He's right!" Sui-Feng agreed. "The man is a heinous villain who stole the powers of many shinigami and murdered them one after another! How could you –"
"That's not what I meant!" Hirako interrupted. "Listen, Ichigo...The guy messed up your family and your friends. Can you forgive a guy like that? Or rather...should you?" Byakuya knew that asking for Ginjo's body was as good as asking for a pardon, and he wondered if Kurosaki knew this also.
"It's not about forgiveness", Ichigo stated. "My family and friends are back to the way they were. I'm still alive. And he's...just a substitute shinigami."
"Ichigo Kurosaki", Yamamoto said. "Can I assume you've said those words after considering all the ramifications?"
"Screw the ramifications!" Ichigo replied dismissively. "I simply want to do that for him as a fellow substitue shinigami...since I am going to continue to be one." The captains again reacted, this time even the head captain was surprised:
"What?!" Yamamoto said. Even Byakuya felt himself smile slightly, although he tried to hide it.
"So that's it", Hirako said, retaking his place in line. Yamamoto banged his staff on the ground and spoke:
"I will grant your request." At that, Ichigo left the meeting.
Byakuya had assumed that Ichigo would want to get as far away from the seireitei and shinigami as possible, and he never believed that Ichigo would continue to fight as a substitute shinigami. As he thought back over the events of the previous few days, his arm throbbed slightly from the wounds, and he wondered when he came to consider Ichigo as something special to him...and why he felt the way he did about the substitute.
He looked at the picture of the woman he had once loved, and, to some extent, still did. As she died, she had told him about Rukia, but she had also added that he shouldn't remain alone forever. Yet Byakuya was sure that his feelings for the redheaded substitute shinigami would never be reciprocated.
"Kuchiki-dono?" a voice sounded from the doorway. Byakuya turned to the doorway to see a servant bowing. "Kuchiki-dono," the servant repeated, "Kurosaki-san requested to see you." Ichigo appeared in the doorway as well.
"Thank you", Byakuya said, dismissing the servant, who closed the door behind Ichigo before leaving the two alone. He looked at Ichigo – in the last year and a half the substitute had gotten a little taller and had longer hair. He also looked closely at Ichigo's shihakusho, which was different than it had been previously, having a unique appearance which Byakuya knew was reminiscent of the Fullbring powers which Ichigo had temporarily gained in order to restore his powers as a shinigami. Byakuya had assumed that someone, likely his sister or his lieutenant, would have visited Ichigo to tell him that there was a plan to restore his powers, but apparently no-one had done so. It was no surprise then that the redhead had taken matters into his own hands.
"I – I wanted to talk to you about something", Ichigo said, shifting from one foot to another. Byakuya noted that he seemed uncharacteristically nervous.
"Of course, what is it, Kurosaki-san?"
"When we were fighting the Fullbringers, the one Toshiro fought was Yukio, who could watch all of our battles. When Toshiro captured him, he made Yukio reveal what everyone else was doing – Kenpachi and Ikkaku were already out, Renji was in the middle of his fight, and Rukia was facing off with Riruka – but you...you said something about me." Byakuya shifted slightly, hoping that Ichigo hadn't heard what he had said about him to Tsukishima. Ichigo continued: "You believed that Tsukishima was a close comrade, someone you'd known for your entire life. Yet you were willing to take him down just because he was my enemy." Ichigo stopped, unsure how to continue.
"All of what you have said is correct, but what is it you wanted to discuss with me?"
"Why?" Ichigo asked weakly.
" 'Why'?" Byakuya repeated.
"Why were you willing to go that far for me?" Ichigo asked. "I – I always thought you hated me", he added quietly. Byakuya sighed and stood up, moving to stand in front of Ichigo, noticing that the redhead was now very slightly taller than him, whereas he had previously been shorter.
"The only person I hated was myself. I thought my feelings would be a betrayal to Hisana, my wife, but it has been some years now, and I think I deserve it."
"Deserve what?" Ichigo asked. "I don't understand, what feelings? What does this have to do with why you would fight for me?" Byakuya curled his arm around Ichigo's waist. He held Ichigo loosely – the substitute couldn't escape, but nor was he pressing them too close together, still worried that Ichigo would reject him. "Byakuya?" Ichigo asked. Byakuya still said nothing, but he did tighten his arm slightly, raising his other hand to place his cool palm against Ichigo's heated cheeks as the redhead blushed.
"These feelings", was the only response Ichigo got to his multiple questions before he felt soft lips firmly pressing against his. Ichigo was surprised at the sudden display of emotion from the older man. After a moment Byakuya pulled back.
"I apologise, Kurosaki-san", Byakuya said, releasing Ichigo from his arms and turning away before continuing: "Please excuse my actions, I will not do anything of that sort to you ever again." He moved past Ichigo, intending to leave the room. Ichigo raised a hand to his tingling lips.
"W-wait, Byakuya! I...I – er – why did you do that?!"
"Because I have feelings for you, which I believed you had figured out from my words to Tsukishima. I decided I may as well reveal the extent of my feelings. However, they are obviously not reciprocated." He continued to move towards the door.
"Who says they aren't?!" Ichigo almost shouted. Byakuya's hand froze mere centimetres from the door handle. He shook his head, looking over his shoulder to Ichigo, who was still facing into the room, so his back was to Byakuya.
"Then why didn't you kiss back?" Byakuya asked quietly, turning his head back to stare at the door handle. A moment later, he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around to face the blushing substitute.
"I've...er, well, I've never kissed anyone before, and I thought you hated me, I didn't figure out anything from what you said to Tsukishima, I just...I..." Ichigo broke off, having grown gradually redder as he stuttered out his response to Byakuya. He looked away, refusing to meet the captain's eyes, even when Byakuya placed his cool hand on Ichigo's heated cheek.
"Ichigo." The redhead still refused to meet his gaze. Byakuya wrapped his other arm around Ichigo, putting the two back in the same position as they had been in not long before. However, this time, instead of kissing him, Byakuya pulled the other male into a hug. Ichigo tensed for a moment before relaxing into the hug, winding his arms around Byakuya's back, one hand on the middle of Byakuya's back while the other rested further up, playing with the ends of Byakuya's dark hair, which he noticed was shorter than it had been a year and a half ago. As Ichigo fingered the dark strands of hair, Byakuya tightened his grip and held him closer.
"I suppose it would have been more proper for me to ask for a date before I kissed you", Byakuya said.
"Are you asking me out?" Ichigo asked.
"I believe that is the colloquial term, yes. Your answer?"
"Sure", Ichigo replied quietly, burying his bright red face in Byakuya's shoulder. Byakuya smiled softly as the substitute shinigami in his arms continued to play with his hair.
They stayed in that position for some time before Ichigo spoke:
"I have to go back to the World of the Living."
"This will be difficult. As a captain, I cannot be stationed in your world, and, as a substitute, you do not live in the seireitei."
"You sound like you don't want a relationship with me", Ichigo noticed.
"That's not what I meant", Byakuya said, pulling away from Ichigo slightly so that he could look at him. "We will not be able to be together as much as I would like, and our dates may consist of meetings at one or the other's house rather than actually 'going out' as you put it, but I still want this."
"Me too", Ichigo agreed.
"I'm certain we will be able to determine methods of seeing one another. Would you like me to walk you to the senkaimon?" Byakuya asked.
"Would you be okay with keeping our relationship secret?" Ichigo asked. "It's not that I'm ashamed of you!" he added hurriedly. "It's just that I don't think I'm ready for everyone to know about us yet."
"Of course. I suppose then that I should remain here while you go to the senkaimon and return to your world?"
"Please", Ichigo responded. He moved to leave through the door while Byakuya walked back into the room. However, Byakuya was suddenly turned around and warm lips pressed were pressed to his hesitantly. Byakuya returned the brief chaste kiss.
"Ichigo", he began when the other man pulled away.
"Just wanted to", the substitute shrugged before he left. Byakuya looked after him, smiling softly to himself. I will find a way to see him as soon as possible, he said to himself. I want this to work.
A/N - Please read and review!
Next Chapter - Ichigo graduates high school and has to decide what to do now he is finished school!