Author's Note: To those about to embark on this this is a vague continuation to "Where Kira Means Sparkle" and "Where Kira Means Sparkle II: Electric Boogaloo", so if you haven't read those or "God of the Machine" you'll be a tad bit confused. Also this is NOT CANON, clearly.
There came a time in every man's life, when he entered top of his class in university, and had to keep an eye on his alien roommate who barely had the decency to acknowledge her extradimensional status, when he had to scrounge through Tokyo for an affordable apartment.
That said, it was still something of a pain.
Most of what it came down to, was inconceivably, his parents had finally caught on that perhaps it was improper that Anna Jones had been staying for years along with Light in the Yagami household. Now, why now of all times was utterly beyond Light. They'd never had an issue after Light and Anna had graduated high school or that first year in university, but somehow, by the second year they had begun to realize that the situation was quite odd.
Ultimately, they'd politely, extremely politely, kicked Anna Jones out of the house. She had actually been quite delighted, not so much about the idea of paying rent and utilities, but had been much less delighted when Light informed her that he too was moving out in order to continue to be her roommate.
Or, as the general population saw them, her long-term perfect boyfriend. The boyfriend that Anna Jones had never, once, appreciated.
"You know, you should be thanking me," Light noted as they walked in the balmy summer weather towards the next apartment on the list, "You'd never be able to afford an apartment on your own."
"Light, if we end up getting a studio apartment, because you want to be a cheap bastard who somehow doesn't see the need for two bedrooms, then I will flay you… And you will sleep on the couch," Anna Jones said through gritted teeth, trying not even to look at him as she stomped ahead, trying to parse her way through apartment advertisements. Though, to be fair, she had progressed quite well in her studies and was no longer as embarrassingly illiterate as she had been when she arrived.
Though her perfect accent and vocabulary, as well as her miraculous grades and test scores, still grated on him. Not so much because she matched him without even trying, indeed, with divine intervention, but because divine intervention was wasted on her.
Well, that's what he told himself anyway, a small part of it might have been about the grades.
"Can you afford anything other than a studio apartment?" Light asked, "My parents don't exactly approve of my living with you so I'm rather tight on money myself."
"That is not the point!" Anna cried out, actually stopping in the middle of the street, drawing eyes all around as this crazy westerner in a summer dressed railed at Light in perfect Japanese, "The point is that you and I aren't sharing a bed and we aren't dating!"
Light just raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, this is all your fault you bastard!" Anna said, actually tearing at her orange hair, "If you just went on a date with someone like a normal person then… What about Takada?"
"Takada?" Light asked, feeling his eyebrows raise higher.
"Sure, Kiyomi Takada, sits next to you in psych, bats her eyelashes at you and tries to say witty things to engage your interest…"
"I know who Takada is," Light interrupted, crossing his arms now, and he did, and she was… Well, not nearly as intelligent as she thought she was, but people rarely were. She was also rather boring, Light humored her, to an extent, but she hardly held his interest.
Though, no doubt, if he did date her as Anna was suggesting, it'd please his mother.
"Well, you're smart, she's smart…" Anna Jones motioned with her hands, bringing them together, as if leaving Light to put two and two together and reach the grand four of him and Kiyomi Takada moving in together.
"Sometimes, Anna, you manage to outdo yourself," Light said, and then, with a smile, "Don't you wonder, if sometimes, I'm dating you just to avoid dating the likes of Takada?"
Her eyes widened, she paled, and then, in an almost stunned voice she concluded, "You, Light, are a bastard."
"Well, I try," Light said, snatching the advertisements from her hand and walking forward with a satisfied smile on his lips. That wasn't quite true, he actively tried not to be, and in that way Anna Jones was refreshing. She was companionship without the mask of pleasantry, the ability to be alone without the aching loneliness and ennui, and that, perhaps, more than anything was why this farce continued as it had.
He had never intended to date her, had put no real effort into it, but as it become more and more assumed, by schoolmates, his parents, nearly everyone he just… fell into the role. Until, even to himself, they might as well have been dating, and the idea of her moving out without him was inconceivable.
Now, was this romantic? Light didn't quite think so, but from the outside at least, there was certainly something there.
"You know, Light, if we're dating, then you had better start taking me on more interesting dates," Anna commented, eyes narrowed, looping her arm through as they walked side by side, like any ordinary couple in Tokyo, "Apartment hunting and studying don't count… I'm talking Space Land, or stupid robot horror films. We have been really lacking on the stupid robot horror films and cheap takeout."
"Our future television is at your command," Light responded with a smile, that somehow, wasn't as fake as it perhaps should have been.
"You're damn right it is," Anna said, "And so is the internet, whenever you know, this universe finally gets the internet… I miss Netflix."
"You say that every week," Light noted, which only seemed to depress Anna further.
"Yes, but every week I mean it, you don't understand, Light, Netflix is… It's life itself."
And clearly, he didn't, because every time she brought up the lack of Netflix in this universe it just made him that much more amused. There was always that, somehow, life with an alien never got as boring as he'd thought it would.
"Oh shit," Anna exclaimed, stopping dead, "Is that… Is that Ryuga Hideki?"
Light stopped with her, because there, across the street, was none other than their fellow top scorer on the entrance exam, the self-declared anonymous detective L who, in between cases, had decided to instead hunt aliens under the pseudonym of Japanese pop star Ryuga Hideki. He looked as hideous as ever, dark hair sticking out at odd angles, pale as a ghost, dressed in that wrinkled long sleeve shirt, the faded blue jeans, and the worn white tennis-shoes. His eyes, as he stared across at them, sticking his thumb in his lips, were black holes.
L, if it really was L, then all Light's idolizing of the man had fallen to pieces on meeting him in person. Light liked to believe the man was instead one of those eccentric nut jobs who somehow happened to be smart enough to match Light on the test.
He really preferred to believe that.
"Yes, I do believe it is," was all he managed to say.
Light looked at Anna Jones, Anna Jones looked at Light, they looked back to Ryuga.
"Is it undignified to run?" Anna asked, as L, yes, began to cross the street with a throng of pedestrians and move towards them, like a shark smelling blood in the water.
"In most circumstances, yes," Light commented as L approached, "In this circumstance, no."
Without another word Light and Anna booked it from whence they came, rounding corners and shoving pedestrians out of the way, desperately trying to divert the man. Finally, after having moved more than few blocks, they stopped to catch their breath.
"You think we lost him?" Anna asked, brushing sweat from her brow.
"Well, if your hair weren't so distinctive then I'd say yes," Light spat out, before looking up and breathing out a sigh of relief, "I don't see him though so I think we might be…"
"My, my, Anna, Light, my old friends, where are you two running off to in such a hurry?"
"Jesus, shit, Christ!" Anna said as she flew backwards into Light, L hunching right over where she had previously been bent over, appearing like some midday dread apparition.
L paid no mind, instead looked at the ads Light was still holding, a spark appearing in his dull eyes, "Oh, apartment hunting, what a great idea, I've been looking for roommates…"
Anna, later, would say that the scream she made in that moment was the sound a man's heart made when he watched his father slayed by a six-fingered man. Light wouldn't go so far as to say that, but it certainly was appropriately filled with horror.
Author's Note: Written for the 1000th review of "God of the Machine" by wyldecolt who asked for a fic where Light and Anna go apartment shopping in the Where Kira Means Sparkle verse, with L tagging along like his usual troll self.
Thanks to readers, reviews are much appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note