Caroline stood in the warm shower for a few extra minutes after she finished washing her face, hair and body, in that order. She was reveling in the feeling of the hot water that was steeling her resolve for the day. It was going to be her first Valentine's with Kate and she was determined to hit all the right romantic notes. After the last ten years of not being made to feel special on Valentine's, she was out of practice and there was added pressure for her to somehow find the right words to propose. In reality, she was a nervous wreck because she was afraid Kate would think it was too soon to say 'yes', that she hadn't proved enough that she had changed.
She turned the water off and ran her hands down the back of her head to squeegee her hair before sliding the shower door open just wide enough to grab a towel; she was trying to keep the warm steam from escaping. With her eyes closed, she quickly dried her face and noticed the towel felt clean and plush. It smelled of Kate's preferred laundry detergent, a fact that made her smile.
Upon opening her eyes, she confirmed it wasn't the one she smudged her mascara on the night before but was indeed a fresh towel. She wondered when Kate took the time to make the switch and felt guilty for not noticing it before she stepped into the shower.
Truth be told, she needed the shower to help her get both eyes fully opened. It had been a long night comforting Kate who was having trouble sleeping again. It seemed their child's schedule was already out of sync with theirs; she could only imagine the real sleepless nights that might await them in a few short weeks but now felt excitement at the thought instead of the dread she experienced when Kate first broached the subject of having a baby.
She made her way back to the bedroom to dress for school. When she opened her lingerie drawer, her current favorite bra was the first thing to catch her eye. She thought it was in the dirty hamper waiting for her to run a delicate load, something she planned to do on the weekend. She realized then Kate not only did her laundry but had even put it away. She couldn't remember John ever changing the towels in the bath, let alone doing any laundry, not even when he was the only one home and Lawrence needed his rugby kit cleaned in a hurry.
Fully dressed, she passed Lawrence on the stairs as she headed in search of Kate. She found a pot of tea waiting and some Irish oatmeal ready on the Aga instead. Then she spied Kate coming out of the loo just off the kitchen.
"You look pretty bright-eyed for someone who was up so late," Caroline said in greeting as she moved toward her for a languid good morning kiss as she entered. "Did you get any sleep?"
"A little. I'll try to nap today. Will you be okay?"
She worried Kate was doing too much when she should have been resting instead and wasn't sure how to broach the subject without making her feel her efforts were unappreciated.
"Yep. As long as Beverley keeps the tea flowing the caffeine should see me through," Caroline replied as she looked at her watch. "Thank you for doing the laundry but promise me you'll rest today. You're doing too much."
"It's called nesting and I'm fine. What time will you be home tonight? I was thinking I'd rather cook than go out and I expect you'll be too tired after last night. I've already pulled some salmon from the freezer. How does that sound?" She had plans for what she wanted to do with Caroline in the privacy of their nest.
Caroline also knew Lawrence was going to be at Angus' for the night and she could see how tired Kate looked. As she tucked into her breakfast, she said, "A quiet night in sounds good to me. I'll cancel our reservation. If Beverley lets me, I'll be home a little early."
Caroline buckled her seat belt before starting her Jeep. She placed her left hand on the steering wheel and flipped down the sun visor with her right hand to shield her eyes from the mid day sun. For some reason, when she looked back down she noticed her empty left hand on the wheel. Long gone were the engagement and wedding rings John had given her all those years ago. Gone too was the tan mark that drove her crazy in the first few weeks after she quit wearing them. It took her several weeks of gardening to make it disappear and she started feeling a little better about things when that reminder of her broken marriage vanished.
She laughed at the memory of telling John she had been a pretty damn good wife while throwing his shoes at him. She wondered how she could miss him so many times during that heated exchange; her poor aim was just another insult added to the injury of that horrific day. She had done all that was expected of her and other than her boys she wasn't sure what it had gotten her. He made her feel thrown away, like all her effort over the years was unappreciated and unnoticed. She vowed to herself that she would never let Kate feel that way.
She realized that she was going to love having a wife of her own and, based upon the strength of their teamwork of late, she knew Kate was going to be more than just a pretty damn good wife. She pulled into traffic to head to the jewelry store to pick up the engagement ring she had been considering since their reunion.
As the sales clerk boxed the ring, she smiled to herself at how seamless the whole transaction had been; she thought it would be awkward but it wasn't. She didn't feel judged even though the clerk asked all the typical questions; Caroline answered each without flinching. As the clerk handed her the ring and the receipt, she made sure to look Caroline in the eyes when she said, "I hope you and Kate have a long and happy marriage. I love seeing couples like you marry now that you can."
Caroline climbed back into the Jeep, with the clerk's words, now that you can, ringing in her ears. It suddenly dawned on her that she didn't know what it was like to want to marry someone only to have society forbid it. She and Kate were lucky; they could marry without an impediment, unlike her friend, Patsy, in Australia, who was on pins and needles about the upcoming marriage vote.
Caroline knew that just by living their lives openly, she and Kate, and others like them, would show the naysayers that their happy marriages weren't a threat to traditional marriages. She was grateful that society seemed to have moved forward by leaps and bounds and was even hopeful that far more people accepted that love is love than she realized. Based upon the reaction of the clerk, she believed the day was truly approaching when no one would care if she was married to a John or a Kate, but she silently thanked God it was going to be Kate this time.
After the dishes had been stacked in the dishwasher and the counters had been wiped down, Kate and Caroline snuggled down in their bed, enjoying a few minutes of quiet surrender before resuming what they had started on the sofa a few hours earlier.
"I can't believe I'm going to be your wife," Kate began as she pushed Caroline's fringe aside to gaze into her blue eyes. She noticed a tear start to form in the corners of them. "What? What has you misting over?"
"You. How you've given me this second chance. And how lucky we are that we can marry. I emailed Patsy today about the upcoming mail vote in Australia. She and Connie want to marry but if this vote goes pear-shaped…we have to make sure we reach out to all our friends there to get them to vote." Caroline gently caressed the baby bump for a few beats before bringing her hand to rest squarely over Kate's belly button.
"You think society is becoming more accepting but then there is always reason to be concerned, isn't there?" Kate suddenly looked so sad.
"Agreed. But why do I think this look that just came over you is in part about that daft tv series again, the one in which they killed off one of the gay leads?"
"Ha! I guess it might be. Why can't they just let us live in the main stream? And why did the lead they killed have to be black to boot?"
"At least the public outrage over it has to have made them take notice and maybe next time they won't make that mistake again," Caroline said in an effort to console her. "Do you know that today the sales clerk didn't even bat an eye at my buying your ring? I actually felt a bit foolish gushing so much about you but I guess I was overcome with emotion at the thought of spending the rest of my life with you."
"I can't imagine that you were gushing to anyone, let alone a complete stranger," Kate replied as lump formed in her throat at the thought of Caroline being so open. It was further evidence she really has changed.
"All day I've been thinking about how great it is that I can go from being a wife to having a wife," Caroline confessed.
"Yes, but you're still going to be a wife." She placed her hand over Caroline's so their fingers knitted together over her swelling belly. They took the baby stirring at that moment as a sign she too approved. Kate smiled playfully as she said, "I promise you that life with me will be the polar opposite of your marriage to John."
"I have no doubt about that. One big difference is I won't have to worry about you leaving the toilet seat up for me to find by accident in the middle of the night," she retorted with a laugh and a gentle nudge.
Kate saw the sillyness in Caroline's soft blue eyes. She knew the tease was Caroline's way of deflecting how full of emotion she was at the sudden change in their status, and in turn, Kate was so full of love at the thought of how far Caroline had come in being open about their relationship that she was at a loss for words. She let go of Caroline's hand and pulled her in closer for a kiss that quickly deepened as their conversation gave way to more pressing matters.