This was intended to be a short Christmas Eve fluffball. Instead it became this monster which I only finished just before midnight. Sometimes I really don't know where to stop. I hope you all like it, and a very merry Christmas from me!
Office Christmas parties were always bad. Castiel always lived through December in dread of the 24th, because on the 24th the entire building threw the party to end all parties to 'get into the Christmas spirit'. It was the same every year. Most of the employees ended up drunk, high, and in some random bed (or couch, or the floor) with someone they would never speak to again.
Except Castiel. While his attendance was obligatory – it was his family's business, after all – he tended to hide in his cubicle until everyone was too drunk to notice him slipping out. He wanted no part in the office's celebrations. The first year had been bad enough – waking up in a pile of vomit with two other naked men and subsequently ruining his engagement had coloured his opinion of parties deeply enough that he had vowed to never partake in one again.
This year, however, his irritating brother Gabriel seemed determined that Castiel was going to join in.
"Come on, brother, how bad can it be? You can't just mope in a corner all evening. Live a little! I bought some of that strange-smelling whiskey stuff especially for you." The party had barely started, and already Gabriel seemed tipsy – throwing one arm over Castiel's shoulders and grinning. But then again, Gabriel was always so overly happy that it was impossible to tell whether it was caused by alcohol or just his normal sugar intake.
Castiel shrugged his shoulders and moved away, Gabriel's arm falling limply to his side. "You know I don't join in at Christmas, brother."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Grinch. You're ruining the Christmas spirit."
Castiel just sighed. "Go back to the party, brother. I'll be fine."
He really didn't want to have to deal with this right now. It was bad enough to be a twenty-eight year old businessman who had been single for five years – having an entire family with overprotective older brother syndrome was too much to handle.
Gabriel pouted, his lips sticking out comically. "At least let me introduce you to my Sammykins."
"Sammykins?" Castiel frowned at the absurd nickname.
Gabriel's eyes seemed to light up as he spoke. "Yes. He's a lawyer – well, I think he's still in training, but he will be a lawyer. We had to work on some legal stuff together, I wasn't paying any attention to that. Anyway, we started dating, because damn he is a hot piece of ass. Intelligent too. It gets me all hot and bothered every time he –"
"Gabriel." Castiel interrupted, not wanting to hear any more. "Fine. I will meet your new boyfriend. But after that, you will leave me in peace."
"He has a brother!" Gabriel interjected, grabbing Castiel's hand to steer him into the crowd. "Too pretty-pretty boy for me, but I bet you'd love him."
Castiel was already shaking his head. "Gabriel, I do not need you to try and set me up with your boyfriend's brother. If I wanted to find someone, I could do it by myself."
Gabriel didn't reply, instead coming to a halt in the middle of the crowd and tapping the shoulder of an absolute giant in front of him.
"Sammy!" He shouted over the noise."
The man turned, and Castiel got a brief look at a pair of twinkling eyes and a shaggy mane of hair before Gabriel leapt up and attached himself around the man's neck.
"Gabe, hi." The man replied, obviously amused, kissing Gabriel quickly before setting him down. Castiel decided not to comment on how comical the height difference was.
"Castiel, this is Sammy. My boyfriend. Sammy, this constipated idiot is my brother, Castiel." Gabriel actually stuck his tongue out at Castiel after the introductions. Castiel had no idea how Gabriel had managed to become a thirty year old man with a boyfriend – his mental age was permanently set at five years old.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sammy." Castiel introduced himself, holding out one hand.
Sam raised an eyebrow at Castiel's serious attitude, before grasping his hand and shaking it. "It's Sam. Gabe here is just incapable of using people's real names."
"Of course. Sam." Castiel felt the corner of his mouth quirk up slightly as he remember how Gabriel has insisted on calling him 'Cassy'. Fortunately, he had been able to coach Gabriel out of that habit, but not before it had caused several embarrassing incidents with people thinking he was female.
"Dean!" Castiel had to duck as he was almost hit over the head by Sam's arm flailing out sideways to grab a random man walking past.
Running a hand through his now messy (again) hair, Castiel tried to focus on what Sam was saying.
"Sorry, Castiel, this is my brother. Dean. Dean, this is Castiel. One of Gabe's brothers."
"Pleasure." Dean commented dismissively, not even glancing in Castiel's direction. Castiel felt his face heat up at the obvious dismissal – before taking a good look at Dean and stopping short.
Gabe had described Dean as pretty, and the guy undoubtedly was. More than that – he was an absolutely perfect sculpture of a male model. His eyes were the brightest shade of green Castiel had ever seen, like the grass in the meadow on a spring day. His hair was short, but not too short – long enough that the soft blonde strands caught the lighting overhead and almost seemed to glow. His face had a youthful look to it, but at the same time his arrogant expression gave him a bad-boy air. Even through his suit, which was a little ill-fitting, Castiel could tell this guy was muscular. Seriously muscular. Not in the 'I work out' way that Sam was, but in a more casual way, a way that just seemed to fit his body. Castiel was captivated. But Dean wouldn't even look at him.
"Likewise." Castiel replied finally, countering Dean's simple response with his own. His voice came out deeper and more gravelly than normal, and Castiel really hoped that Gabe didn't notice and comment on it.
To Castiel's surprise, Dean visibly tensed as Castiel spoke before turning to look at him. His eyes flashed over Castiel's body once, before he turned away again.
"Excuse me." Dean said simply, before pushing his way out into the crowd and disappearing.
Confused, Castiel glanced back at Sam and Gabe, to find them both standing with contemplative looks on their faces.
Gabe turned to Castiel and grinned. "You like him."
Castiel considered lying, but he had always been a dreadful liar. "He is aesthetically pleasing. However, he also appears somewhat rude and socially inept. No offense meant of course, Sam."
"None taken." Sam was still staring after Dean, obviously unsure about something. "He doesn't normally act like that. Perhaps he's not feeling too well." He paused. "Oh, and just one warning – he's also the straightest guy in the history of being straight. I'm not saying don't pursue him if you're interested, just be aware he might not return your feelings."
With that, Sam turned to whisper something in Gabe's ear and the pair of them moved off in search of the alcohol.
Castiel was left on his own in the middle of the crowd, really confused about what had just happened. His thoughts were full of Dean. Why had he reacted like that? Castiel was hardly the most sociable person around, but even he reacted more normally than Dean had during their brief exchange.
Parties were not Castiel's thing. At this stage, he should be hiding in his cubicle with a flask of coffee, waiting to sneak out. But now, he didn't want to do that. He wanted to find Dean. He was intrigued, and when Castiel was interested in something, he always pursued it.
His mind made up, Castiel turned and made his way towards the edge of the group.
Halfway through, he was suddenly accosted by another of his siblings. Balthazar.
"Castiel, darling! I'm surprised to see you in here. Thought your little experience with ménage a trois put you off."
Castiel blinked to try and clear the memories from his head. "Gabriel insisted."
"And you actually listened to him? Well, this has to be a first. Come on, I know some people who are absolutely dying to see you."
"Balthazar-"
Castiel tried to escape, but Balthazar was already moving towards a group of ladies in the corner. He sighed. Dealing with Gabriel trying to matchmake was one thing, but Balthazar was an entirely different matter. A childhood troublemaker, he had been sent to boarding school in Europe from the age of eight, and instead of coming back reformed, had come back having seemingly experimented with every single woman he had met. That hadn't stopped on his return to the States. Aged twenty four, he made the top ten in the eligible bachelors list every year and refused to settle down with anyone. His goal wasn't to get Castiel a boyfriend or girlfriend, it was just to get him laid by as many people as possible.
"Hello, ladies!" Balthazar grinned as he swooped into the group, Castiel being dragged in his wake. "This is my brother, Castiel. Castiel, these charming women are Meg, Ruby, Abaddon, Madison and Lisa. Very close friends of mine."
By friends, of course, Balthazar meant fuck buddies. Castiel resisted the urge to shudder at the mental image that brought.
"Castiel," One of the women drawled, her eyes raking over him. "Well, don't you just look delectable."
"Um." Castiel didn't really know how to reply, feeling slightly scared as she advanced towards him.
"I'm Meg." She continued, placing one hand on his chest. "Want me to take you to Heaven, Clarence?"
Castiel could feel his heart rate increase and his palms start to sweat. He remained entirely still as she ran a hand over his face and cupped his chin, not making a sound.
"Meg, back off. He's not interested." A voice growled from behind Cas and he turned, eyes widening as he noticed it was Dean.
"Spoilsport." Meg winked, before turning and flouncing over to where Balthazar was talking to the other girls.
"You OK?" Dean asked, his voice gruffer than Castiel remembered.
Castiel tried to remember to blink. Dean's gaze was intoxicating. "I'm fine. Thank you."
Dean brushed the thanks off. "It's no bother. Those girls are like sharks – they can sniff out virgins from a mile away. Best to stay away from them. Well," He paused, "With the exception of Lisa. She's alright, I suppose."
Castiel frowned. "I'm not a virgin."
"No?" Dean sounded surprised.
"It's just... been a while." Castiel finished, hoping that didn't sound as lame as it had in his head.
Dean's mouth quirked up, before he clapped Castiel on the back and turned his around. "Come on, let's get you a drink. You look like you need it."
Castiel opened his mouth to protest, to say that he didn't drink anymore, but then he closed it again. Instead, he just followed Dean to the drinks table, trying to calm the thoughts in his head that were screaming in happiness. Was this Dean showing an interest in him? Or was he just trying to make up for his rudeness earlier?
Reaching the table, Dean grabbed a couple of nondescript beers before handing one to Castiel and leaning casually against a random pillar. "So, this is your family's company, right?"
Dean, Castiel couldn't help but think, didn't seem to be great at small talk.
"Yes." Castiel replied simply. "My grandfather set it up initially, and then my father inherited it. I expect him to give it to Michael soon, although Michael and Lucifer are always fighting because Lucifer wants to inherit it."
"Dude, what is with the names in your family? Michael? Lucifer? Is your dad religious?"
Castiel laughed, taking a sip from his beer. It tasted surprisingly nice. "Not in the slightest. It was my mother, Becky, who insisted on the angel names. Chuck just tends to do what she tells him to. He was too busy with the company to contest baby names."
"Although apparently not busy enough to stop him fathering about a dozen kids." Dean waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Not quite a dozen. There's Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel, me, Balthazar and Anna. The rest are cousins, or uncles – and no, I have no idea why they're all named after angels too."
"Seven kids. What was it like growing up in such a large family?" Dean sounded genuinely curious.
Castiel shrugged, leaning back and taking another sip of beer. "Loud. I was one of the younger ones – the eldest four, the ones named after archangels, they all tended to go around together. Balthazar was sent away to Europe for misbehaviour so most of the time it was Anna and I together. The others would join in sometimes, but even then Michael and Lucifer would fight, and Raphael has a superiority complex so big I wonder how it fits in his head. Gabriel was a laugh when his tricks weren't aimed at you, but when they were, he was just an irritation."
"And now you all work for the same company? That must be nice, working with your family." Dean sounded almost wistful.
"It is and it isn't." Castiel paused, wondering how best to explain. "I never had any choice growing up. My role was to work for the company as a businessman, just like my siblings. The only one of us to escape was Anna, and well..." His voice tailed off. "I wouldn't exactly call what she did an escape."
Dean seemed curious, so Castiel continued. "She's in an asylum. The pressure really got to her and she had a breakdown a few years ago. She's very well cared for and much happier, and we all visit her regularly. But it isn't much more of a life than this."
"I'm sorry." Dean glanced down at the floor. "I didn't know."
Castiel shrugged. "It doesn't matter. These things happen. I still have the rest of my family."
There was silence between them for a moment, then Dean spoke up. "My mother died when I was four."
Castiel glanced at him in surprise, but Dean just ploughed on. "There was a house fire. The ironic thing is, my dad's a fireman. What it must have been like for him to get the call that it was his own house burning, I don't know. I carried Sammy out and that was it. Our lives changed. Dad was always at work, obsessed with it, determined that no-one else would lose someone like he lost mum. He didn't realise that by doing that he made Sammy and I lose him too."
Castiel unconsciously moved one hand to rest it on Dean's. Dean squeezed back, thankful for the comfort, before continuing.
"I looked after Sam. That was my job – get him to school, make sure he gets an education, make sure he's happy. My life was always secondary to that. I didn't mind it, I always understood that Sammy was the one with the real chances. He was intelligent and popular, and I was the rebel in the back of the class with no future prospects. That's how it was."
"Dean-" Castiel tried to speak but Dean just shushed him.
"Let me finish. When it got towards the end of high school, when I had to decide what to do with my life, dad took ill. Lung cancer. All that smoke inhalation from fighting fires took its toll. I had to care for him and Sammy both. I was going to go and study something vocational, like fixing cars. I'm good with cars. But I had to support my family, so I got a job in a fast food chain and stayed there. It wasn't that bad. The hours were decent and my co-workers weren't too awful. Dad died a year later, and I used what little I inherited from him and my money from working to send Sam to college. So that's my life."
Castiel could feel actual tears forming in his eyes. "I must seem so selfish to you." He commented. "Being ungrateful because I had to be a businessman with my family, when you lost so much."
"Nahh." Dean shook his head. "You would have had prospects. Even if I hadn't had to look after Sammy, I still would have flunked out of high school. I just might've scraped a GED or something instead of ending up working as a minimum-wage cleaner."
"You don't know that." Castiel shook his head. "Do you really have that low an opinion of yourself?"
"Cas-"
"No. Dean, I have known you for an hour. Maybe not even that. And in that time, I have discovered a kind, selfless man, who gave up his life to care for his brother. I can see a man who has lost nearly everything and yet still goes out of his way to help others. If you think that you are anything short of amazing, Dean, then you're wrong." As he spoke, Castiel moved closer to Dean, ending up right in front of him. Their faces were only inches apart, and it was only when Castiel finished speaking that he realised the possible connotations.
Dean breathed out softly, and Castiel's eyes drifted closed as he felt the air move across his face.
"You don't really know me, Cas. You're just saying that." He sounded so unsure.
Castiel opened his eyes again, noticing that Dean had closed his. "Then what will it take for me to prove it to you?" He asked.
It was Dean that moved, surging forwards suddenly to capture Castiel's lips with his own. Castiel moaned quietly as Dean's tongue slipped into his mouth, bringing his hands up to push Dean further back into the pillar. Dean tasted like sin – alcohol and tobacco and something cinnamon-y that Castiel had never encountered before. It was incredible. Castiel thought he could drown in the taste of Dean.
Dean's hands moved, sliding up Castiel's back before finally resting around his neck. One pulled lightly on Castiel's hair and he moaned again, breaking the kiss and baring his neck. Some part of him registered that they were still in public and they should probably move this elsewhere. The more dominant part was screaming to not let this stop. Castiel hadn't done anything like this in five years. He wasn't about to give it up now.
Castiel trembled as Dean's mouth moved slowly across his jaw and down to his neck, sucking on his pulse point. He could feel his legs about to give way beneath him. Reluctantly, he shifted himself in Dean's embrace, causing Dean to pull back and look at him worriedly.
"Did I-"
Castiel shook his head vehemently. "No. But perhaps we ought to take this somewhere more private?"
As soon as he said that, he wished he didn't. Dean's expression turned from caught up in lust to absolutely terrified.
"I – I don't-"
"Have I said something wrong? Did you not want this?" Castiel was confused, and he could feel his hopes start to crumble.
Dean looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. "No no, Cas, it was amazing, just... I'm straight, OK? I've always been straight! And this... it's terrifying me, man. I've never felt anything for another guy before, even a super hot one like you. It's just weird. I don't know if it's moving too fast. Y'know."
Oh. Cas suddenly remembered what Sam had said about Dean being the straightest guy in the history of straight people. It obviously wasn't true, but apparently it was going to make him have some kind of gay freakout.
Great. Because that was exactly what Castiel needed from his first hook up in five years.
"There isn't anything wrong with being attracted to guys, Dean. That doesn't mean you can't be attracted to girls either. It's perfectly normal to be attracted to both." Castiel tried to keep his voice calm and steady.
Dean didn't look convinced. "I know that, but that's for, like, other people. Not me. I'm definitely straight." He seemed to be panicking.
Castiel sighed. "Look, why don't we go somewhere and talk about this. I don't think this is a conversation you want to have in public."
Dean glanced from side to side at the people still milling around, drinks in hand. No-one was paying them any attention, but at the same time, they could look over at any moment.
"Alright. Do you have an office or something round here?"
Castiel considered inviting Dean back to his apartment, but thought that might be a bit presumptuous. He didn't want to freak him out any more.
"Downstairs. If you want to grab a couple of drinks first you can do, I don't have much except coffee down there."
Dean nodded gratefully, darting off towards the safety of the alcohol.
A couple of minutes later, he came back with a bottle of strong whiskey in his hands and smiled awkwardly. "Lead the way then, Cas."
Smiling back, Castiel turned and headed in the direction of the elevator.
It was only while he was walking that he realised something. Dean called him Cas. He hadn't really noticed before, his mind just recognising that 'Cas' meant him. But no-one else called him Cas. Ever. It was always Castiel or Cassy. Confused, Castiel pressed the button for the elevator and turned back to Dean.
"You call me Cas." He stated simply.
Dean frowned. "Is that wrong?" He asked.
A small smile graced Castiel's face. "No. Definitely not. I was just curious about why."
Dean shrugged. "I dunno, man. It just sounds right." He look uncomfortable, so Cas didn't say anything else. But he couldn't help but feel happy inside that Dean subconsciously assigned him a nickname.
A small ding announced the arrival of the elevator, and Castiel walked in, pressing the button for his floor. He watched as Dean leant back against the elevator wall with an uneasy look on his face.
"So why would it be so bad for you to be bisexual?" Cas asked.
Dean's face took on a panicked expression again. "What? Oh. I thought I told you. I'm straight."
Cas sighed, fiddling with a loose thread on his suit jacket. "You're attracted to me." He reminded Dean quietly.
Dean locked eyes with Castiel, his stare more intense than anything Cas had experienced before. "You're different." He replied simply, before dropping his gaze.
The elevator came to a stop, and Castiel lead Dean silently through the darkened office before standing back and gesturing him into the largest cubicle.
"This is mine. Feel free to make yourself comfortable."
Dean nodded gratefully, sitting down in the large office chair. As Castiel watched, he opened the bottle of whiskey and took a long drag, before offering up the bottle.
Castiel smiled, accepting it and allowing his fingers to brush over Dean's. He hoped he wasn't imagining the shiver and slightly darkening of Dean's eyes.
"I discovered I was bisexual when I was fourteen." Castiel commented. "I knew I liked girls because of my first girlfriend, Rachel. But then I found myself attracted to a boy named Jimmy, so I just accepted that I liked boys as well. Some people weren't particularly understanding, but eventually they just gave up teasing me about it. I was confident in my sexuality, so they learnt to respect it."
Dean sighed. "You don't understand."
"Then make me understand." Castiel moved to sit on the edge of his desk, facing Dean.
"I've spent twenty nine years thinking I was straight. I can't just let go of it that easily, for one guy."
Castiel couldn't help but feel frustrated. "Why not?"
"Because..." Dean scrabbled for the right words. "I just can't. Ok, Cas? I can't. I'm sorry."
Reaching his limit, Castiel surged forwards again, grabbing Dean's collar and pulling him forwards. Their lips collided, and despite what he had been saying, Dean didn't resist. His arms moved around Castiel in a comforting embrace and Cas moaned, before moving to mouth at Dean's jaw, slowly moving down his body.
Dean let out a groan and moved back, baring himself to Cas. His legs subconsciously moved apart, and Castiel pulled back to wet his lips before sucking a lovebite into Dean's neck.
Dean hissed, moving his arms up to pull Castiel away before attacking his lips once again. Castiel smiled into the kiss, before flinching slightly as Dean's cold hands came into contact with the skin around his collar.
Dean seemed to freeze, and Castiel hurried to place his own hands comfortingly around Dean's neck.
"It's OK." He soothed.
Nodding unsurely, Dean leant up to resume their kiss before ever-so-slowly unbuttoning Castiel's collar and pulling away his tie. The shock of cold air on Castiel's chest made him shiver, and Dean hurried to wrap his arms around him as if to try and warm him up. Castiel felt buoyant, better than he had done in years. Carefully, he reached for Dean's collar and placed one hand on it almost in warning.
Dean tensed for a moment, before nodding minutely.
Castiel fumbled as he unknotted Dean's bowtie, casting it away into the darkness of the room. He moved his hands up to try and find the button's of Dean's shirt, carefully undoing them one by one. The movement of his hands against the fabric seemed to echo in the silent room. Dean's arms continued to caress Castiel's back as Castiel undid the last button and gently peeled Dean's jacket and shirt back in one smooth movement, exposing his chest.
Things moved quickly from there.
Hands stroked, lips kissed, and finally the pair were both blissfully naked, Dean stretched out over Castiel's office table with Cas crouched above him. Castiel reached into a drawer and pulled out a small tub of lube, flipping open the cap and coating his fingers in the cold substance. Dean's breathing hitched, before he hesitantly made room for Cas to move his fingers underneath.
It was hard to believe that Dean had never done this before. Everything that Castiel did, Dean was so responsive to – and he never acted like he was being hurt. After a while, Castiel stopped being so careful, and Dean seemed to love the new roughness, absolutely revel in it. It was perfect. Castiel could just let go and be himself.
Sinking into Dean was like nothing Castiel had ever felt. And in that moment, he knew he never wanted to feel anyone else again.
Dean had ruined him. But Castiel wouldn't have it any other way.
The next morning should have been awkward. Castiel woke with a strange crick in his neck, an odd weight splayed across his stomach. He groaned, throwing an arm across his face to block out the light streaming in. He must have forgotten to close the curtains. He often did that when stumbling in from one of the Christmas parties...
Castiel froze as he suddenly remembered the night before.
Slowly, Castiel shifted on the hard desk. He couldn't help but smile at the sight which greeted him.
The office was a mess. Clothes, files and stationary were strewn everywhere and the coffee flask seemed to have spilt all over the floor. But that wasn't important. What was important was Dean, spread out on the desk next to Castiel, one arm thrown over Cas's body. He was smiling in his sleep, an innocent smile, and Castiel had never seen anyone more beautiful.
Then Dean's eyes slowly opened. Castiel looked down and their gazes met, and as Dean simply smiled wider and curled into Castiel, Cas knew that everything was going to be OK.
"Merry Christmas." He whispered softly, and it was.