Title: Worthless

POV: Niko

Author: Obi the Kid

Rating: PG

Summary: A brief painful moment in the life of six year old Cal and ten year old Niko.

Disclaimer: All hail Rob Thurman! No profit here, I'm just having fun.

Cal was somber tonight. As much as a six year old boy could be on a Sunday. It was typical for him on this particular day of the week. Sunday evenings. They were the most difficult for us. They were the time when Sofia was back in the house after being who knew where doing who knew what with disgusting people that we had no need to know about, although we did. She was usually drunk or broke or both. Sometimes one of her "John's" would be with her, sometimes not. Didn't matter. They rarely ever gave us a second glance anyway. For Sofia, Sunday evenings – or 'family time' as she mockingly called it, were for her to rant and yell and rage. Sometimes it was meant for the both of us. Mostly it was aimed at Cal. And she did it just because. Just because she was hateful and evil and vile…and other things that boys our age shouldn't ever know or have to witness.

Tonight, her eyes were glazed over, her black hair – the same color as Cal's- hung in an unorganized mess. Must have been a below average weekend for her. Violently, she had thrown the front door open, grabbed a bottle of something, found it empty and hurled it at the wall, all before laying into Cal with all her hateful might. The torrent began and immediately, I did what I'd done since Cal had taken his very first breath in this world. I had him in my arms, wrapped in my lap; safe as I could make him. With both hands I covered his ears, as if it would help turn back the cruel words.

Cal simply stared at her, big-eyed and quiet. He understood her more now, despite how young he was. Understood that his "mom" hated him. No child should ever feel such a thing.

When her rant was done and she'd left for her bedroom to pass out, Cal remained quiet in my lap for long moment. With his small hands, he played with the fingers on one of mine that no longer covered his ears. He was thinking, I knew. Running a question over and over in his mind before he asked it. The question would come when he was ready; after he'd gotten control of those bemused six year old emotions. Control. He was learning a type of control that would serve him well as he grew up. If Sophia taught him nothing else, she taught him that.

Softly, he finally asked my name.

"Nik?"

I turned my hand palm up in his and wiggled my fingers. Slowly, he took his thumb and pressed each of my fingertips, watching them fall and then pop right back up again. It was an odd habit, but I'd noticed before that it seemed to help him deal. A coping mechanism developed so early in life. Six year olds should be playing and happy and…they shouldn't be learning ways of dealing with…this.

I refocused. "Yes, Cal?"

The restless fingers paused and he leaned his head back against my chest. So small for his age, he fit perfectly against his ten year old big brother.

There came a big deep breath and finally, the question he'd been gearing for surfaced. It turned out to be a simple one. Simple…on that surface only.

"Nik, what does 'worthless' mean?"

The question came because it had been the plotline of Sophia's tirade this evening. She'd said the word over a dozen times. Each time with a wicked glee smothering the Rom-beautiful features of her face as she told Cal over and over again how worthless he was as both a human and a monster.

I didn't lie to Cal. I could have, but I didn't. I never did. We had only each other and we could only trust each other. Lying would never be allowed to break that trust apart.

"Worthless means useless. It means that it's of no value to anyone."

"Oh." There came his brief response as he reaffirmed his touch on my hand again. This time, instead of playing with my fingers, he grabbed onto them with both hands and squeezed - lightly at first. They tightened with the second part of his question, now that he understood the word.

"Am I worthless, Nik?"

I had known the second half was coming, but that didn't stop it from stabbing me in the heart. I closed my eyes, willing the blurry vision to go away so that I could be there for my little brother. This was my job. My responsibility. I was ten now. Old enough to do anything for him. Old enough to tell him that he was not worthless, no matter what our witch of a mother screamed at him.

His head still leaning against me, he tilted his face up toward mine. I could feel the warmth of his breath hitting my cheek and his gray eyes finding conviction in my own of the same color. My arms tucked him to me harder than before.

"You are not worthless, Cal. Not ever. Not to me. Not ever to me."

Another worried warm breath exhaled against me. Young voice trying so hard to sound strong while surrounded by anxious words. "But Nik, what if I am? What if I'm a worthless monster, like she says?"

"Stop it, Cal. You don't listen to her. You listen to me, okay? Only me. I'll tell you the truth. Always, I'll tell you the truth. We never lie to each other, right?"

There was a small nod against my chest.

"You are not a monster. And you are not worthless. You…are just a kid. You're my little brother. You're a good brother. And I love you no matter what. I'll always be with you no matter what. No matter what. Would I do that for someone who I thought was worthless?"

This time, a slight shake of the head before he turned in my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck. Grabbing him snug and secure, I hung on, losing the battle with the tears this time when Cal said next...

"You're not worthless either, Nik."

My brother.

That was him.

That was Cal.

As he was being verbally abused by Sofia, she was using the same and similar words against me as well. Cal hadn't been the only target this night. He'd listened to and heard what she said about him as he also felt what she said about me. And in all his six year old wisdom, he knew I hurt as much as he did; perhaps much more so.

His arms never left my neck willingly. Actually, he fell asleep that way. I think that comforted me more than anything. And it was on purpose, Cal's falling asleep like he did. For all his own pain, he tried hard to look after mine as well, knowing that allowing me to care for him when we both were so emotionally exhausted…it helped me to feel better about myself.

And I dared anyone to ever tell me that those are the actions of a worthless child.

Cal wasn't worthless.

He wasn't a monster.

He was my brother.

He always would be, no matter what.

And if I had nothing else in my life ever, I had that.

The end