I was running down to the beach. All around me, the dark cliffs disappeared in the fog, white traps awaiting for a bad step, for despair.

I was running, and I didn't know where to go. My life was breaking like glass, pieces lying around and entering my feet.

I couldn't see. The tears were distorting the landscape and I felt weak and defeated. I had lost. I would never be a man. I would never be an adult. It was too hard.

I was running and I was alone. In the silence of the storm, the peace of the waves crashing the shore, the cold wind crashing against my chest, against my heart. But it couldn't break it, it was too late. I was lost. I had reached the end of all things. I slipped on the round seaweed-covered rocks, trembling and cursing.

I screamed to the sea that I hated it. That I hated her. She didn't want me anymore. She had turned her lovely back, shook her head, let her earrings chimes softly and said "No. You don't. It's not true."

I was empty and I was lost. I sat on the stony beach, shivering. There was nothing beyond. I hated him. I was alone.

I stayed in the cold, surrounded by the white of the clouds, drowning in their humidity, in the bitterness invading my lungs. I was crying and it felt right, I could cry all I wanted now, he wouldn't know. She wouldn't see. It was all in vain.

I was crying tears of blood that weren't. I was covered with salty water that came from my eyes and from the sea. It was raining, maybe.

I looked at the sea and it didn't care for me, it crashed and gurgled, and splashed incessantly. I was trembling and I needed help and I couldn't ask for it. I wanted to disappear in that whiteness, in that fury. I yelled until I was sore. Until I hurt so much, I wanted it to be over.

I looked at the cliffs above, so harsh and sloppy. Filled with holes to infinity. Would I have the courage to end it there? Should I walk up and run again and never stop?

I saw her face, so beautiful, so young and flawless, my everything.

I saw his eyes, dark and harsh, his hands on me, squeezing tight "No, don't be. You can't."

I had run from him and looked for her. I had hoped and yet I knew. I closed my fists and bent my forehead on my knees. In the dark, in the dusk, I murmured "Mom..."

I was running in the fog, inhaling the cold invigorating air. I was laughing. The thunder was growling all around, trying to frighten me and I faced it, feeling strong and new.

I had met many storms on many shores. I had been surrounded by lightning on the top of the world. I looked at the sky, at the waters, all filled with wild, rough, exuberant life and it felt good. I felt alive.

I wanted to run as fast as the wind, I wanted to jump from one cliff to the next and even fly. I wanted to feel that way forever, free and young and untamed.

Suddenly, the fog cleared and I saw him and I just stopped. Everything stopped. My legs. My eyes. My breath. My mind.

It all came into focus. Clear eyes, like the sea. Ruffled blond hair, like the dry grass on top the cliff, swept by the wind. In a flash, on a face, a despair, an emotion, raw and final. Blinded and goal-less. Like a frightened foal, a lost dog... but a young man. Looking so frail, the wind might swept him away. Away on the sea.

My mind started working again. I turned my head everywhere, looking for that vision, for that lost soul. But I couldn't see him. The wind was screaming with a human voice but it was an illusion. I ran on the edges of the cliffs, straining my eyes to see past the white mist.

I gave up. I walked back to the car, feeling I had failed, that I had betrayed a life. I reached the road and saw a huge car with a woman in it. She was crying. Her hair was blond and her eyes were the colors of dawn. Who had I seen? Her brother or her son?

The dark was fighting the fog, the black of a starless night. I stood up and gathered my strength. I sent them peaceful thoughts to deal with it. I sent him forgiveness. I pictured her and I ran.

"Stop!" The voice was sharp. It cut through my sadness, through my brain. My legs listened and tumbled. I started falling, like a pinball, bouncing on rocks, landing on bushes.

I felt a hand, dragging me up, pulling me back to the warmth, to a chest that pressed against mine. My shoulders were covered by a coat, with a care that I didn't hope for anymore. Strong arms pressing, gently. A whisper "Hold on."

I couldn't see anything and nor could he, but he led me. Out of the cliffs, far from the sea. On the path to my destiny, where she was waiting, her face set, her eyes like thunder. The real thunder had stopped. The wind was less strong. I didn't feel the cold anymore, I had been given warmth.

I borrowed courage too from this unknown savior, that was crying for me. I looked into her eyes and I said "Take me. As I am. I won't change. I don't want to die. I need you to take me back."

Her jaw was locked, her cheekbones sticking out. She didn't seem to know my life was in her hand.