St. Patrick's Day (1)
One Piece Fanfiction
Characters owned by Eiichiro Oda

A/N: Before I dwell into this, I'll tell you right now: Don't take this story too seriously. This is supposed to be for fun, and if you don't like where this is going, then feel free to leave. I'm sure there are more stories suitable for your taste.

ALRIGHT WITHOUT FURTHER ADOO DOO LET'S BEGIN.

"Nami, I'm boooooooooored."

"Luffy, be quiet."

"B-But I want adventure naooowwwww."

"We'll hit an island soon. The log pose is pointing us to a certain direction."

Luffy grinned, shishishi-ing as he flopped his body on top of the Sunny's head. The seas were calm, and it had been a few weeks since the crew had gone on an adventure. What sorts of things were waiting for them? Were they going to save a princess from a dragon? Meet a gnome? Visit an island that's only food source was meat? Adventures were what Luffy lived for, and were one of the few reasons Luffy became a pirate. Adventures were great! If only he could drag the islands to them!

Nami stroked her chin as she watched Chopper marvel in awe at Usopp's creation. They have been sailing the seas for a few days but had not stumbled across a marine or pirate ship for that matter. What was going on? Were they even in the Grand Line anymore? "But the log pose is guiding us somewhere…"

"NAMI-SWAN! NAMI-SWAN!"

The lecherous cook swiveled around as he presented his dish to Nami. The smell was heavenly, making Nami almost forget about her current troubles. "I made coffee-flavored crème brulee~ Care to try?"

"Sure, Sanji-kun!" As the chef spun around with glee, Nami turned to Zoro and said, "Will you mind watching the deck for me? Tell me if something happens."

Zoro grunted, keeping his eyes close. He was resting in his usual spot at the deck, legs folded with his sword lying against his shoulders. Taking his grunt as a 'yes', Nami was prepared to head for the kitchen until she noticed that Sanji wasn't following her. "Sanji-kun?"

"You stupid marimo head!"

Green eyebrows twitched but made no attempt to respond.

"Nami-san deserves respect! She is our lovely navigator! At least have the courtesy to say, 'Yes' when she asks you for a favour!" Sanji took a long drag from his cigarette and sighed. "This is why you're no good with girls."

"ALRIGHT EYEBROWS, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIGHT?"

"I'LL TAKE YOU ON!"

"S-Sanji-kun, the crème brulee…"

"SEAWEED, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS INTO THE SEA BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN BLINK."

"IS THAT SO?"

"YAH SO."

"OOOOOOH!~~~~"

The fight was interrupted by Luffy as he pointed his finger towards the sky. "DUCK! DUCK! GREEN DUCK!"

As stated, a glorious green duck had appeared in sight, flapping its marvelous wings towards an island just as green. However, Luffy was too focus on the green fowl to notice the island that was right in front of him. "I… I want to EAT IT!"

"I'll shoot it down!" Usopp cried out, as he pulled his goggles over his eyes and prepared his slingshot.

"It's easier if I grab it!"

"I'll cut it down in one swoop."

"My kicks are faster than your swords, Marimo."

"ARE YOU TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT AGAIN?"

"JUST STATING FACTS."

"Can I just point out that I'm feeling super right now?"

"YOU ALWAYS FEEL SUPER!"

"I-I want to be useful too…"

As the boys (plus mammal) argued with one another, Robin and Nami stepped out of the kitchen with a curious look on their face. "Oh!" Taking the fork out her mouth, Nami looked at the island the boys somehow seemed to miss. "Guys! There's an island right in front of us!"

"ISLAND? WHERE?" Luffy's jaw dropped as he spotted his new adventure. The whole island was covered with green and flourished with tropical plants and flowers. "UWAHHHHHH, ADVENTURE!"

Briefly forgetting about the duck, he gasped as he saw it fly further and further away from the crew. "OUR DINNER!" About to stretch his neck, he choked when he felt someone grab his throat and turned to look at the culprit. "Stu.. pid Nami."

"Calm down, we need to know what we're getting ourselves into."

Robin, taking a sip of her drink, said, "We're landing at what appears to be St. Patrick's Island. The spring island is known for it's greenery, and is inhabited by leprechauns."

"GNOMES?"

"Luffy, she said leprechauns." Usopp said, sweat-dropping at his Captain's inability to listen.

"I've never met a leprechaun before." Chopper's eyes shined with glee as he turned to Robin. "Do you think they're friendly?"

"As long as you don't steal their pot of gold."

"GOLD?" Nami's eyes turned into Belies, and a faint 'ka-ching' could be heard in the distance. "What are we waiting for Franky? We've got gold – I mean, an island to see!"

"St. Patrick's Island." Brook strummed his guitar, deeply in thought as he tried to remember the name. "It sounds familiar… but it seems I can't remember." He then opened his head like an afro cookie jar. "I have no brain to store my memories! YOHOHO~"

Unfortunately for him, his joke was ignored, as the idea of visiting the new island occupied the Straw Hat Pirates' thoughts.

"…SKULL JOKE~"

….

"Gnome, gnomes, I want to see gnomes!"

"Luffy, I told you so many times, there aren't any gnomes here!"

Usopp and the rest of the crew trudged behind their captain, who was eagerly looking at their surroundings. "Look, a green hermit crab!" Luffy cried out, as he grabbed the insect by it's shell and stared at it. "Sanji, can we eat it?"

"It'll take hundreds of those to fill your bottomless stomach." He looked at his surroundings and furrowed his eyebrows. "There's something weird about this island." Sanji took another drag of his smoke and gave St. Patrick's island another look. "It reeks of green. Reminds me of Marimo."

Robin chuckled, watching as Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper frolic in a shamrock field. "That's the specialty of this island. It's always green. By the way I forgot to mention…" She turned to the three boys playing in the field. "Some of those shamrock leaves are poisonous."

Usopp and Chopper bugged their eyes out in shock. "AND YOU TELL US NOW?" They dragged Luffy out of the field, who pouted until he sniffed something. "There's a weird smell in the air! I'm going to check it out!"

"Wait! Luffy! Since when did you become part dog? H-Hey, don't leave us!" Usopp and Chopper quickly ran after him, which made Nami sigh as she put a palm to her face. "That idiot. How long will it take for the log pose to record this island? The amount of green is giving me the creeps – no offence, Zoro."

"Just because my hair's green doesn't mean I'm from this island."

"But your love of green is questionable. Look at your outfit," Sanji said. "Couldn't you find another color to wear?"

"Shut up. Perona made me wear this," Zoro grunted, adjusting the swords on his hilt. "If we're just going to sit around and wait for Luffy, I'm leaving. I'll be waiting in the Sunny."

"The fact that the animals are green is what's making me curious, " Franky piped in, as he rubbed his chin in thought. "Their DNA must have been modified."

"They couldn't be scientific experiments though," Robin explained, as she looked at the island. There were no signs of buildings or man made creations. "Perhaps it's just the nature of this island."

"Well whatever! I'm more concerned on where the gold is!" Nami explained, as she crossed her arms in a huff. "Where could those leprechauns be hiding?"

Just then, an excited Usopp and Chopper ran out of the forest, gasping for breath as they reached the crew. "You'll… never guess… what Luffy just caught!"

"They're real! They're real!" Chopper explained, bouncing up and down.

"What's real?" Nami said, cocking an eyebrow, until she saw Luffy carry a person. "Luffy! What is that?"

Robin explained, "It's a lepre-"

"GNOME! I found a gnome!" As Luffy dashed towards the group, he ignored the kicks and punches he received and dropped the creature down. Standing at only three feet, the leprechaun wore a green suit and hat, orange hair spilling out of his clothes. "You barbarian! How dare you capture me!" He explained, as he kicked Luffy in the shin. The boy's legs jiggled back and forth, making the leprechaun squeak. "J-Just what the hell are you?"

"Actually, it's more like what are YOU. I can't believe leprechauns exist!" Usopp exclaimed, as he made an attempt to poke the man. "Well of course we exist!" The leprechaun barked, slapping Usopp's finger away. "And could you not touch me?"

Brook bent low so he could meet the leprechaun's gaze. "I've never seen a human this small before."

"He's like my height!" Chopper said happily, as he stood beside the leprechaun to compare. The leprechaun snarled as he stepped away from the reindeer. "I don't want to be compared to you. You're a walking freak!"

Chopper let out an animated cry as he hid behind Nami's legs. "Wah! He's scary!"

The navigator picked up the leprechaun by the back of his suit. "You don't seem to have any manners, huh? What's your name?"

"Shawn! It's Shawn yee lassie! And can you please let go!" Dropping him on his bum, the leprechaun grumbled as he rubbed his tush. He picked himself up and looked at the crew. "If you're barbaric captain didn't come, I would have greeted you guys myself. Now whatchu pirates doing here? We never get guests at St. Patrick's island."

"We're looking for gold!"

"And meat!"

"Luffy, we didn't come for that…"

"Oh? Gold you say? Did you follow the end of a rainbow or something?"

"We followed a log pose," Nami said, showing the leprechaun the three spherical watch. "It led us to this island."

"Well if it's gold you're looking for, then you've come to the right place! Lemme show you the way! But first, a welcoming party!"

He then pointed to Brook. "You there! I see you're holding an instrument! Can you play any Irish songs?"

"Well, as a matter of fact-"

"I don't care! Just play! Leprechauns love music!"

"Well if the public cries for it, then I have no choice!" The skeleton strummed his fingers as he played a song, humming as his music spread across the island. A few minutes passed until a rumble of footsteps were heard, and soon enough, four leprechauns came into sight.

"Guests, guests! We have guests!"

"Guests that are looking for gold." Shawn said, although Usopp and Robin were the only ones who could hear the malicious tone in the leprechaun's voice. "Shall we prepare them a meal before giving them what they want?"

"A meal, a meal!"

"But first-" Shawn turned around and looked at the crew. He then stuck out his thumb and index fingers and cried out, "Pinch those who are not wearing green!"

"Wha? OWW! Hey what gives?" Usopp said, rubbing his injured piece of skin. "That hurts!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Chopper exclaimed, running away from two leprechauns who were chasing him.

"Why green?" Nami mumbled, before squeaking when she felt something grab her bum. "HEY!" She turned around to slap the culprit, but the leprechaun giggled and ran towards Franky. "I'm wearing green!"

"That piece of material doesn't count!" Shawn said, but was suddenly sent flying as an enraged Sanji kicked him. "Nobody pinches Nami-swan! GAH! You bastards!"

It seemed all of the crewmembers were being pinched, except for a few devil fruit users who were giving the leprechauns a bit of trouble.

"This guy! He's made of rubber! I can't seem to grip him!"

"This guy! He's all bones! There's nothing to pinch!"

"Well I am a skeleton after all! Yohohoho!"

"This girl!" The leprechaun gulped as he turned towards Robin.

"Pinch me and I'll break both your hands."

"S-She's an exception!"

Shawn clapped his hands, ordering all of the leprechauns to come to his side. "In case you were wondering," Shawn explained, addressing the Straw Hat Pirates as the pinch victims grumbled in annoyance. "On this island, it's tradition to pinch those who are not wearing green."

"Lucky Marimo," Sanji grumbled, as he turned to look at the swordsman. Only to realize he had escaped from the group. "Keh, must have went back to the ship. Well whatever."

"FOOD, FOOD!" Luffy said, bouncing up and down in anticipation. "GREEN MEAT!"

"Wait till you try our green eggs and ham. Now come along pirates," Shawn said, as he led the Straw Hat Pirates through a forest. "We'll give you a welcome party you'll never forget."

"Why do I have a bad feeling?" Usopp mumbled to Nami, as he followed the leprechauns with the rest of the crew. However, the girl was too busy with her thoughts to him answer him.

"Well… whatever… eating with leprechauns shouldn't be so bad. It's an interesting story I can tell Kaya when I get back to my village."

As the Straw Hat Pirates continued to follow the leprechauns with little skepticism, they were unprepared for what would happen once they finished their meals. Well, all except for Zoro, who was too busy sleeping in the Sunny.

To be continued.