Zelda, *insert snazzy name here* ... I mean....
Zelda, Missing the Rainbow
Summary: This story has the same plot as the Zelda game, Windwaker, except Link's purpose for the quest is not the usual one... I'll give you one word....
...Skittles.
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda, Windwaker. Nor do I own anything that I make fun of, or mention. All copywritten material in this story has been taken without permission and with NO INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.
Thank you,
-Silver-Star17
Now, please enjoy.
---------------------------------------------
NOTE: EXTREME FOOLISHNESS BELOW!
In the beginning...
*Your wonderful author, Silver is sitting at a table surrounded by some of her loyal friends... well... one loyal friend.*
Gold: Ah, back in action I see. Eh Silver?
Silver: *muffled in pile of papers* yup
Gold: Your readers will be thrilled.
Silver: *still muffled* yup
Gold: Yay?
Audience: YAY!
Gold: ^_^ YAY!
---------------------------------------------
Now, where shall begin?
...Long ago, there existed a kingdom where a golden power lay hidden.
It was a prosperous land blessed with green forests, tall mountains and peace.
But one day a man of great evil found the golden power and took it for himself.
With its strength at his command, he spread darkness throughout the kingdom.
But then, when all hope had died and the hour of doom seemed at hand,
...A young boy clothed in green appeared as if from nowhere.
Wielding the blade of evil's bane, he sealed the dark one away and gave the land light.
This boy, who traveled through time to save the land, was known as the hero of time.
The boy's tale was passed down from through generations until it became a legend.
Although, some do not know the full legend...
The soul purpose for the determination of the boy's quest.
That one... single purpose... that had nothing to do with the legend was...
...Skittles
*Island music starts to play, as the camera zooms out and shows a book that our young hero, Link, has been reading*
::Link smiles, closes the book, and looks at the huge bag of skittles sitting next to him::
Link: *sighs* If only my life could be a legend...
*Link looks out to sea, then takes a skittle tosses it up and catches it in his mouth*
Aryll: BIG BROTHER!!!!!
*Aryll, Link's sister appears climbing onto the tower that Link is located on*
Aryll: There you are! I've been looking for you! Do you know what today is?
Link: Uhh.. Ground hog's day?
Aryll: o-0 uhh... not quite.
Link: Thursday?
Aryll: ... It's your birthday...
*Link suddenly realizes that yes, it is, indeed his birthday*
Link: It is? How old am I? ... I mean... yes, of course it is!
Aryll: ... You forgot today was your birthday...
Link: Naw... I was just.... Day dreaming! Yeah... *sweat drop*
Aryll: Not this again *picks up Link's legend book*
Link: Yes, this again!
*Link grabs his book, and the skittles and saunters down the ladder*
Aryll: *calling* By the way, Grandma wants to see you!
Link: Right-o
*Link walks to his house ignoring his sister's calls*
Friendly Neighborhood weirdo: Morning Link! Happy Birthday!
Link: o_0 Thanks? ...*Mumbling* Since when is it my birthday?
*Link walks home and into his house. There he is confronted by.... His grandma!*
Grandma: Link, thank god you are home... I have something for you...
Link: It's not another.... *Looks around* you know what... is it?
Grandma: Naw that's for next week...
Link: o_0;;;
Grandma: Go to the garage!
Link: We have a garage?
Grandma: Yes, where else would we keep the car?
Link: We have a car?
Grandma: Garage. Now.
*Grandma leads Link halfway across the island, behind some bushes, under the penguins, and around a couple of rocks to the garage*
Grandma: Do you like it?
Link: I get the garage?
Grandma: No!
*Link trips over the lawnmower as he enters the garage*
Link: This is without a doubt, the worst lawnmower I've ever seen!
*Link kicks the lawnmower in frustration*
Grandma: Do you like it?
Link: The car?
Grandma: No!
Link: This sword?
Grandma: No!
Link: The ladder?
Grandma: No!
Link: More skittles?! *picks up his bag of skittles*
Grandma: No!
Link: The blue shiny box with the ribbons and a tag that says, "To Link from Grandma"?
Grandma: No!
Link: The little neighbor kid that always follows me around? *Turns around and points to kid*
Grandma: No!
*3 hours later, after guessing nonstop*
Grandma: Give up yet? I mean it's right in front of your face!
Link: My nose?
Grandma: No! The lawnmower!
Link: Is it the lawnmower?
Grandma: Yes! Do you like it?
Link: This is without a doubt, the best lawnmower I've ever seen! My birthday is complete!
Grandma: No, no birthday is complete without getting obscure clothing from relatives you didn't know you had, hence the box.
Link: But the tag says it's from you, Grandma.
Grandma: flip the tag over.
*Link flips the tag over and reads*
Link: Grandma's roommate's sister. You have a roommate?
Grandma: Not anymore... *mysterious music*
*Link opens the package and gets... (Cue new item music) green clothes*
Grandma: Aww! They're adorable! Put them on!
Link: _ *looks at clothing* Uhh... but green really isn't my color...
Grandma: But don't you want to put them on and look like.... *Looks around... points to Link's legend book* That guy?
*Link looks at the Hero of Time*
Link: No! ...I mean... Well, yes...
Grandma: *dark clouds appear* WEAR IT!
Link: Eep! *Puts on clothes*
Grandma: *dark clouds disappear* Aww you're so cute
Link: Now if only I had a real cool looking weapon...
*Link looks around the garage*
Link: Ah ha!
*Link walks past sword, tank, spear, shotgun, rope, and cannon to pick up, a pitchfork! (New item music plays)*
Link: This is obviously the best thing I'm going to find in this dump.
*Link decides to high tail it out of there, so he goes back to the tower*
Aryll: BIG BROTHER...... ick... Sorry, but green is soooo not your color... But anyway! Here's a birthday present for youuu!
*Link receives a telescope*
Link: whoopee...
*Link looks through the telescope and accidentally drops it into the ocean, Aryll does not notice*
Aryll: But you can't keep it! It's mine! I'm only letting you borrow it!
*Link watches as the telescope floats away*
Link: You didn't see anything...
Aryll: See what?
Link: OMG! LOOK! A CLOUD! *Points to sky, and jumps down ladder to retrieve telescope*
Aryll: Where? *Looks at sky* Oh my gosh! That black cloud with eyes and life-like features has a poor defenseless girl!
*The huge bird drops the girl in the forest*
Aryll: You must save her!
*Link appears soaking wet with telescope in hand*
Aryll: There's no time! Save her!
Link: *looks around confused* uhh...
Aryll: What are you doing just standing there! Go!
Link: Where am I going now?
Aryll: To save the girl that fell in the forest!
Link: I knew that... Do not loose these! *hands bag of skittles to Aryll*
*Link climbs down the ladder with his legend book and pitchfork in hand*
Aryll: What about that book!?
*Link is already climbing the trail to the forest*
Aryll: *looks at bag of skittles, eats one*
Link: THERE BETTER BE A 172 SKITTLES IN THAT BAG WHEN I COME BACK!
Aryll: o_0 *picks up small rock and puts it in bag*
Meanwhile....
*Link crosses the bridge and enters the forest*
Link: Now, if I were a big ugly cloud with life-like features, where would I drop someone?
*Looks under a rock*
Link: Helllllllooo?
*Link explores until he hears a noise!*
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: Excuse me good sir. Hi my name is Link. Would you mind helping me for a minute?
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: I am looking for a girl who fell out of the sky from a rather large and life-like looking cloud.
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: Does that mean you know where she is?!
Bokoblin: RAWR! *pokes Link with sword*
Link: OW! Wait a sec... I think I've seen you before! *pulls out book*
Bokoblin: Rawr?
Link: AH! You're a monster! Sent to kill me. The best way to get rid of you is to stab you with a sword...
*Link closes the book, and brings out his pitchfork*
Link: This will have to do. Bring it on dude! Bring it on!
Bokoblin: RAWR! *Pokes Link again*
Link: *falls over* ahhh! That's not how I bring it on!
*Link runs, trips, and crashes into a tree that just so happens to be where the girl is stuck. She falls down and regains consciousness.*
Girl: What the...?
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: SAVE ME!
*Suddenly, without warning, pirates come and destory the Bokoblin*
Link: Wow, this is a magic pitchfork! It makes pirates come! Aren't you going to thank me for saving you?
girl: ... You didn't save me.
Pirate #1: Miss Tetra are you okay?
Tetra: Yes, yes.
Link: Aren't you going to pay me some reward money or something?
Tetra: ...no.
Link: *looks at bag of money hanging from her belt* LOOK! A CLOUD! *points*
Tetra: Where?
*Link dives, grabs the bag of money and sprints out of the forest*
Tetra: GET HIM!
*They chase him out, only to be stopped by the sight of an object in the sky*
Link: Oh-no... big looking bird cloud thing is back!
*Aryll appears running up to the bridge*
Aryll: You did it!
*Suddenly big looking bird cloud thing dives, takes Aryll and starts flying away*
Link: ARYLL!
Aryll: BIG BROTHER!
*Link takes off after the bird, across the bridge*
Tetra: WAIT! SHE'S GONE! IT WOULD BE SUICIDE NOW!
*Tetra and the pirates chase after him*
Link: NO! SHE HAS MY *He trips and falls off the bridge* SSSKKKIIITTTTTLLLLEEESSS!!!!!!!
*splash*
Tetra: Did he say...... skittles?
Pirates: *shrug*
Zelda, Missing the Rainbow
Summary: This story has the same plot as the Zelda game, Windwaker, except Link's purpose for the quest is not the usual one... I'll give you one word....
...Skittles.
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda, Windwaker. Nor do I own anything that I make fun of, or mention. All copywritten material in this story has been taken without permission and with NO INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.
Thank you,
-Silver-Star17
Now, please enjoy.
---------------------------------------------
NOTE: EXTREME FOOLISHNESS BELOW!
In the beginning...
*Your wonderful author, Silver is sitting at a table surrounded by some of her loyal friends... well... one loyal friend.*
Gold: Ah, back in action I see. Eh Silver?
Silver: *muffled in pile of papers* yup
Gold: Your readers will be thrilled.
Silver: *still muffled* yup
Gold: Yay?
Audience: YAY!
Gold: ^_^ YAY!
---------------------------------------------
Now, where shall begin?
...Long ago, there existed a kingdom where a golden power lay hidden.
It was a prosperous land blessed with green forests, tall mountains and peace.
But one day a man of great evil found the golden power and took it for himself.
With its strength at his command, he spread darkness throughout the kingdom.
But then, when all hope had died and the hour of doom seemed at hand,
...A young boy clothed in green appeared as if from nowhere.
Wielding the blade of evil's bane, he sealed the dark one away and gave the land light.
This boy, who traveled through time to save the land, was known as the hero of time.
The boy's tale was passed down from through generations until it became a legend.
Although, some do not know the full legend...
The soul purpose for the determination of the boy's quest.
That one... single purpose... that had nothing to do with the legend was...
...Skittles
*Island music starts to play, as the camera zooms out and shows a book that our young hero, Link, has been reading*
::Link smiles, closes the book, and looks at the huge bag of skittles sitting next to him::
Link: *sighs* If only my life could be a legend...
*Link looks out to sea, then takes a skittle tosses it up and catches it in his mouth*
Aryll: BIG BROTHER!!!!!
*Aryll, Link's sister appears climbing onto the tower that Link is located on*
Aryll: There you are! I've been looking for you! Do you know what today is?
Link: Uhh.. Ground hog's day?
Aryll: o-0 uhh... not quite.
Link: Thursday?
Aryll: ... It's your birthday...
*Link suddenly realizes that yes, it is, indeed his birthday*
Link: It is? How old am I? ... I mean... yes, of course it is!
Aryll: ... You forgot today was your birthday...
Link: Naw... I was just.... Day dreaming! Yeah... *sweat drop*
Aryll: Not this again *picks up Link's legend book*
Link: Yes, this again!
*Link grabs his book, and the skittles and saunters down the ladder*
Aryll: *calling* By the way, Grandma wants to see you!
Link: Right-o
*Link walks to his house ignoring his sister's calls*
Friendly Neighborhood weirdo: Morning Link! Happy Birthday!
Link: o_0 Thanks? ...*Mumbling* Since when is it my birthday?
*Link walks home and into his house. There he is confronted by.... His grandma!*
Grandma: Link, thank god you are home... I have something for you...
Link: It's not another.... *Looks around* you know what... is it?
Grandma: Naw that's for next week...
Link: o_0;;;
Grandma: Go to the garage!
Link: We have a garage?
Grandma: Yes, where else would we keep the car?
Link: We have a car?
Grandma: Garage. Now.
*Grandma leads Link halfway across the island, behind some bushes, under the penguins, and around a couple of rocks to the garage*
Grandma: Do you like it?
Link: I get the garage?
Grandma: No!
*Link trips over the lawnmower as he enters the garage*
Link: This is without a doubt, the worst lawnmower I've ever seen!
*Link kicks the lawnmower in frustration*
Grandma: Do you like it?
Link: The car?
Grandma: No!
Link: This sword?
Grandma: No!
Link: The ladder?
Grandma: No!
Link: More skittles?! *picks up his bag of skittles*
Grandma: No!
Link: The blue shiny box with the ribbons and a tag that says, "To Link from Grandma"?
Grandma: No!
Link: The little neighbor kid that always follows me around? *Turns around and points to kid*
Grandma: No!
*3 hours later, after guessing nonstop*
Grandma: Give up yet? I mean it's right in front of your face!
Link: My nose?
Grandma: No! The lawnmower!
Link: Is it the lawnmower?
Grandma: Yes! Do you like it?
Link: This is without a doubt, the best lawnmower I've ever seen! My birthday is complete!
Grandma: No, no birthday is complete without getting obscure clothing from relatives you didn't know you had, hence the box.
Link: But the tag says it's from you, Grandma.
Grandma: flip the tag over.
*Link flips the tag over and reads*
Link: Grandma's roommate's sister. You have a roommate?
Grandma: Not anymore... *mysterious music*
*Link opens the package and gets... (Cue new item music) green clothes*
Grandma: Aww! They're adorable! Put them on!
Link: _ *looks at clothing* Uhh... but green really isn't my color...
Grandma: But don't you want to put them on and look like.... *Looks around... points to Link's legend book* That guy?
*Link looks at the Hero of Time*
Link: No! ...I mean... Well, yes...
Grandma: *dark clouds appear* WEAR IT!
Link: Eep! *Puts on clothes*
Grandma: *dark clouds disappear* Aww you're so cute
Link: Now if only I had a real cool looking weapon...
*Link looks around the garage*
Link: Ah ha!
*Link walks past sword, tank, spear, shotgun, rope, and cannon to pick up, a pitchfork! (New item music plays)*
Link: This is obviously the best thing I'm going to find in this dump.
*Link decides to high tail it out of there, so he goes back to the tower*
Aryll: BIG BROTHER...... ick... Sorry, but green is soooo not your color... But anyway! Here's a birthday present for youuu!
*Link receives a telescope*
Link: whoopee...
*Link looks through the telescope and accidentally drops it into the ocean, Aryll does not notice*
Aryll: But you can't keep it! It's mine! I'm only letting you borrow it!
*Link watches as the telescope floats away*
Link: You didn't see anything...
Aryll: See what?
Link: OMG! LOOK! A CLOUD! *Points to sky, and jumps down ladder to retrieve telescope*
Aryll: Where? *Looks at sky* Oh my gosh! That black cloud with eyes and life-like features has a poor defenseless girl!
*The huge bird drops the girl in the forest*
Aryll: You must save her!
*Link appears soaking wet with telescope in hand*
Aryll: There's no time! Save her!
Link: *looks around confused* uhh...
Aryll: What are you doing just standing there! Go!
Link: Where am I going now?
Aryll: To save the girl that fell in the forest!
Link: I knew that... Do not loose these! *hands bag of skittles to Aryll*
*Link climbs down the ladder with his legend book and pitchfork in hand*
Aryll: What about that book!?
*Link is already climbing the trail to the forest*
Aryll: *looks at bag of skittles, eats one*
Link: THERE BETTER BE A 172 SKITTLES IN THAT BAG WHEN I COME BACK!
Aryll: o_0 *picks up small rock and puts it in bag*
Meanwhile....
*Link crosses the bridge and enters the forest*
Link: Now, if I were a big ugly cloud with life-like features, where would I drop someone?
*Looks under a rock*
Link: Helllllllooo?
*Link explores until he hears a noise!*
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: Excuse me good sir. Hi my name is Link. Would you mind helping me for a minute?
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: I am looking for a girl who fell out of the sky from a rather large and life-like looking cloud.
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: Does that mean you know where she is?!
Bokoblin: RAWR! *pokes Link with sword*
Link: OW! Wait a sec... I think I've seen you before! *pulls out book*
Bokoblin: Rawr?
Link: AH! You're a monster! Sent to kill me. The best way to get rid of you is to stab you with a sword...
*Link closes the book, and brings out his pitchfork*
Link: This will have to do. Bring it on dude! Bring it on!
Bokoblin: RAWR! *Pokes Link again*
Link: *falls over* ahhh! That's not how I bring it on!
*Link runs, trips, and crashes into a tree that just so happens to be where the girl is stuck. She falls down and regains consciousness.*
Girl: What the...?
Bokoblin: RAWR!
Link: SAVE ME!
*Suddenly, without warning, pirates come and destory the Bokoblin*
Link: Wow, this is a magic pitchfork! It makes pirates come! Aren't you going to thank me for saving you?
girl: ... You didn't save me.
Pirate #1: Miss Tetra are you okay?
Tetra: Yes, yes.
Link: Aren't you going to pay me some reward money or something?
Tetra: ...no.
Link: *looks at bag of money hanging from her belt* LOOK! A CLOUD! *points*
Tetra: Where?
*Link dives, grabs the bag of money and sprints out of the forest*
Tetra: GET HIM!
*They chase him out, only to be stopped by the sight of an object in the sky*
Link: Oh-no... big looking bird cloud thing is back!
*Aryll appears running up to the bridge*
Aryll: You did it!
*Suddenly big looking bird cloud thing dives, takes Aryll and starts flying away*
Link: ARYLL!
Aryll: BIG BROTHER!
*Link takes off after the bird, across the bridge*
Tetra: WAIT! SHE'S GONE! IT WOULD BE SUICIDE NOW!
*Tetra and the pirates chase after him*
Link: NO! SHE HAS MY *He trips and falls off the bridge* SSSKKKIIITTTTTLLLLEEESSS!!!!!!!
*splash*
Tetra: Did he say...... skittles?
Pirates: *shrug*