Notes:
I will also post this on AO3 (TheGirlWhoLoved) and Wattpad (TheMrsCumberbatch).
Also, English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.
Enjoy ;)
Doctor John Hamish Watson was finally able to identify his feelings toward a certain person. It took him years and failing dates with different women to see what everyone did.
He had a huge crush on the famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.
John decided to check if Sherlock shared his feelings first before doing anything stupid, so he used the man's personal weapon: The science of deduction.
For weeks, Sherlock Holmes was the object of many experiments he didn't know about. Lucky for him, the results came satisfying, and John found himself amused about the fact that the man with the most sharp observation skills had no idea about his feelings. So he decided to help him discover them.
His sister Harriet was skyping him when she suggested pick up lines. She told him they worked very well on women in bars and helped her get lucky.
'They even worked on Clara when we first met and she was a fun person.'
That was the encouraging line that made John search for pick up lines online. Perhaps it will make Sherlock go out with him on a date.
They came home after a case. Sherlock was laying down on the couch, his adrenaline wearing off. John decided to use a pick up line he read.
"So Sherlock.." He said clearing his throat.
"Hmm.." Sherlock replied not even looking at him.
John took a deep breath. "Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.''
"You're the doctor, I thought you had one." Sherlock replied. "Oh yeah I used it in an experiment.. It's in the kitchen." He opened one eye turning to John. "It's not an interesting case without a chase. I am sure your knee isn't badly injured."
John rolled his eyes. "Yeah.. Thanks, whatever."
They were having dinner in their flat when John decided to use another pick up line. He looked into Sherlock's eyes making sure the man notices that.
"Are you okay John?" Sherlock said not maintaining the eye contact enough to witness the doctor's pupils dilating.
"Yeah I am." John smiled. "But I need to ask you this..''
''Shoot." Sherlock said chewing his food.
" Do you have a map? I'm getting los-" John started.
"You have a laptop." Sherlock interrupted him. "Try Google maps." He shook his head. "And you call ME lazy."
"Jesus.. I never thought of that." John said sarcastically.
"Again, what is it like in your brain?" Sherlock tilted his head.
"Sherlock don't start." John warned. "Or I swear to God-"
"Yeah yeah.." Sherlock said not wanting to get punched.
John collapsed on his chair. "Sherlock." He whined.
"Yes?" Sherlock said typing on his laptop.
"My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.." John sighed.
"I wish I could help but I deleted the Vitamins from my mind palace." Sherlock tilted his head. "It that serious? Perhaps I should do a blood test as well.. You and I eat the same food.."
"No it's not serious." John groaned. "You don't need to.. It's not caused.. By food.. Nevermind.. Keep working."
Sherlock raised an eyebrow before starting to type again.
John rushed upstairs. "Sherlock? This is very important!"
"What?" Sherlock looked up from his experiment.
"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?"
Sherlock nodded. "Yeah sure."
"Seriously?" John asked not daring to believe.
"Yes?" Sherlock blinked. "I read many books and I know things.. I could help. So unless it's the Solar System or Vitamins, I can't help."
"Of course.." John sighed. "It's okay, I will borrow a book from Mike."
"Sherlock?" John whispered. "Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!"
"Fox?" Sherlock gasped looking around. "Where? How did it get here? Finally a puzzle."
"You know what?" John said rolling his eyes. "I think it was a dream."
Sherlock groaned. "Just when I thought that things were becoming interesting."
"Did you know they changed the alphabet?" John asked Sherlock not looking up from the newspaper. "They put U and I together."
"That's really dull." Sherlock said putting some God knows what body part in the microwave. "What's the point in changing it? It won't affect anything. People can read even without memorizing the alphabet order." He set the timer. "I seriously want to take a look at the brain of whoever suggested this change and all the people who made it happen."
John posed the newspaper and rubbed his forehead. "Just delete what you heard since it won't be much use."
"Delete what?" Sherlock asked.
"Oh, of course you did that." John groaned.
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk over by you again?" John asked the detective, one day.
"No need to ask later.. I have nothing to do." Sherlock complained from his chair. "I am not a love expert.. But according to what I see about people in love.. You need to have sufficient knowledge about the person's characteristics. So unless a person has some deduction sills similar to mine, he can't!"
"You're so lucky to have these skills." John said lowly.
"I know." Sherlock said before starting to complain about the lack of murders again, causing John to leave the flat in order keep from killing him.