Title: Verde
Rating: PG
Pairing: Remus/Severus, subtle Remus/Sirius
Summary: A parting of ways.
Prompt: 10(underscore)quotes community at live journal; #86 - 2 (Platoon) "I love this place at night. The stars... there's no right or wrong in them. They're just there.
"Attention!" crowed Sirius Black with a mocking look toward the black-cloaked young man coming down the hall. "Snivellus Snape approaching, bearing the year's hottest fashion accessory for young Death Eaters about town. You've seen it in Knockturn Alley! It's all the rage in Azkaban! Now, it has made its way onto the arms of stupid Slytherins everywhere!"
James Potter snickered openly, while Peter Pettigrew had the decency to stifle his giggle behind his hand. Remus simply stared on, powerless to stop his friends, too kind to join in. Sirius made a complicated motion with his wand, and frozen in the doorway, Severus Snape felt his sleeves lift and peel back, exposing his arms to the waiting classroom.
The skin of his forearm was pale, unmarked except for the single brand in the shape of skull and serpent.
Instantaneously, the gasps arose from around the classroom, followed by a few nervous giggles and a couple of whispered comments of approval. Even Sirius flushed. It had only been intended as a lark; he had certainly planned to humiliate Snape, to tease him with the whispered rumours that flitted about, but he'd never expected to see that: the serpent twisted languidly, pouring itself from the open mouth of the death's head.
Severus yanked down his sleeve, face burning as he felt a particular pair of golden eyes watching him. Humiliated and frightened, he slunk to his seat as Remus dashed from the room, abandoning his books on the desk.
"Hey, Remus --" Sirius called, puzzled, but the door slammed and Flitwick, wanting to turn their attention back to more neutral issues, cleared his throat and started lecturing loudly in basic household charms.
"I brought your things," Severus said, an hour later after class had been dismissed. The trio of Marauders had gone on to their common room in search of their fourth, but Severus had known better. Remus would have ventured out into the out of doors if he'd truly wanted to be alone, not holed himself up in the dormitory where he was bound to be cornered and questioned by his friends. Severus had trekked out to the grounds, near the solitary lake, and had found Remus there almost immediately.
"Look I, I didn't mean --"
"I don't care," Remus said, very softly. It seemed to cost him significant effort to breathe, and he did not raise his head, but instead chose to stare into the depths of the water, watching small and curious fishes glide beneath the surface.
Severus frowned. "But, I --"
"Doesn't matter."
"You don't understand," Severus replied, his voice rising slightly. "They were pressuring me. Malfoy, Avery, that lot. They've all had theirs for months. They said it was only right, that if I didn't accept it, my loyalty would be in question. I --"
"I said I don't care," Remus responded, almost inaudibly. "Be a Death Eater if you want to. It's none of my business anyway. It doesn't matter what I think."
"Of course it does, I just --"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Severus paused, confused. "What?"
Remus turned slowly, to face him. "Why didn't you tell me, about that?" He gestured vaguely in the direction of Severus' arm. "That you took the mark," he explained. "How come you didn't tell me?"
"I didn't think you'd understand."
"You're right, I don't." Remus sighed. "I really don't get it at all, how you can run around with those types. They hurt people -- kill people, if the rumours are true, and they usually are. They've already lost you your friendship with Lily, and now things between us are…the way they are. Yet all you want is to belong to their group. That, I don't understand."
Severus sank down heavily onto the bank, letting Remus' bag of books fall to the ground. "What else would you suggest I do?"
"What do you mean?" Remus asked sharply.
"What else am I good for? Come on, Lupin, you know as well as I that I'm not suited for some stodgy job in the bowels of the Ministry. I don't do Quidditch, and my family might not be as dirt poor as some, but I certainly don't come from a long line of heirs and riches. Everything I'm good at is dark, off limits. No one is going to want to hire someone with my qualifications to, say, assist the Minister or man a counter at Fortescue's ice cream shop."
"Let me get this straight, you're joining Voldemort for a job?"
Severus shrugged. "He lets me utilise my talents, doesn't he? No limitations, nor any rules or restrictions, no blasted Ministry interference. That's the sort he attracts, wizards and witches who want to experiment but can't get the permits, those who want to learn the sort of knowledge that Hogwarts outright bans." He gazed off into space, dreamy at the thoughts of his elusive future. "If I want to devise and test new curses or spells, I can, without going through the entire bureaucracy and having to obtain consent forms, or wait months for approvals. You know how much I enjoy experimenting with potions, and under Voldemort, I can brew and test as much as I like."
"And kill people," Remus added succinctly, ignoring Severus' look of exasperation and pleading. "If you want to test new frontiers, why not get work in one of those research laboratories? There are plenty of famous wizards who have studied and created potions without adding Muggle killing to their CVs. Or you could teach, and you'd have all the Hogwarts Potions labs at your disposal."
Making a derogatory sound in the back of his throat, Severus sneered. "Oh yes, teach. That's likely. You know I can't stand squalling brats, or the inept. Two-thirds of our class is barely capable of remedial first year Potions as is. Can you imagine how frustrating I'd find it?"
Remus did not look away. "Better than being a hired gun for a murderous madman." He frowned deeply. "I should go. Peter is probably looking for me."
"You mean Black is," Severus said harshly, unable to disguise his jealousy. "The mindless oaf. If he hadn't joked --"
"Do not blame Sirius for this," Remus said softly, though forcefully. He shook his head. "No. It's not his fault. He was just fooling around, I don't think he expected there to actually be a Dark Mark on you any more than I did. He was just making fun. You're the one that consented to let them put it there."
"So, he still comes out smelling like roses, same as when he almost got me killed," Severus mused, bitter. "Saint Black, and Saint Potter. Nothing they do ever seems to matter to you." He made an ugly face. "If Black took the Dark Mark, you'd probably get one alongside him out of sympathy, but when I do it, I'm the villain. That's so, isn't it?"
"You want me to hate him, but I won't," spoke Remus. "I can't."
"Still him over me, and you wonder why I can't stand the arrogant berk," Severus snapped. He got to his feet, burning to say something more but unsure how. "Are -- are you coming back inside?"
Remus shrugged. "Think I'll stay out here a while. It's a nice place to think, especially now, when everyone else is indoors studying or at dinner. It's a clear night tonight too, a new moon. Should be peaceful. I love this place at night. The stars…there's no right or wrong in them. They're just there. It's a good place to contemplate matters."
"Suit yourself," said Severus steadily. "I suppose I'll go catch up with Mulciber."
"Yes," Remus said, very calmly. "You do that." He managed a grim smile. "Tell him hello from me, won't you?"
Severus took several steps away before he paused, turning back to Remus once more. "Are you sure --"
"Certain."
"And this means? I mean, for us?"
Remus did not look away from the lake. He could almost picture Sirius' reflection in it, looking at him keenly, flashing a bright smile. Sirius seemed to smile a lot lately, same as he had taken to leaning in too close, and giving in too easily when the Marauders fooled around at wrestling, so that he often ended up pinned beneath Remus' body. Remus warned himself not to think about all that. He felt too vulnerable, sitting there under Severus' penetrating gaze, and it was hard enough to speak the words without meeting Severus' gaze and exposing his guilt. "I guess it means, we're over."