4
I Want My Own Theme
Author's note: I do not own Road Rovers, who are owned by Warner Bros., but I do own J. Feel free to comment and make suggestions.
Chapter 1: It's Blitz
Barkin', scratchin', Frisbee-catchin'
Presidential pets! (That's us!)
A lone male Doberman canosapien released an exasperated sigh as he sat by himself at a table in a lounge at Road Rovers Mission Control. In front of him was a glass filled with his preferred drink of choice: a peppermint milkshake. Even though the beverage looked enticing to him, he wasn't in the mood to divulge in its minty goodness. He stared blankly at the glass as his mind started to wander.
The Road Rovers, mostly the main team, had their own theme song, which meant that he had to share the spotlight with the other members of the main team. He didn't want to share the spotlight with them. He wanted all the glory to himself. Why couldn't he have a theme? Well, for starters, he lacked musical talent. He couldn't sing. He couldn't play music. He couldn't even write a simple melody. Well, that idea just got shot out of the window.
As Blitz stewed over his thoughts, a teenage male Shiba Inu with rugged fur entered the lounge, humming a simple tune. He noticed the downhearted Doberman sitting at the table with his peppermint milk and immediately stopped humming.
"Oh boy, I know that look," the Shiba Inu commented as he made his way over to the other canine. "What's wrong this time, Blitz? Colleen rejected you again with her fist?"
"Get avay from me you filthy hybrid," Blitz said as he motioned for the teen to leave him alone.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," the teen noted before walking away.
As the teen was making his exit, realization struck Blitz upside his head. What was he thinking? He was just insulted the solution to his little predicament and was just letting him walk away.
Standing up from his seat, Blitz turned in the direction of the retreating form and called out, "Vait J!"
J stopped walking and turned around to look at Blitz with a questioning look on his face.
When J didn't answer him, Blitz asked, "You're good vith music, ja?"
"Where are you goin' with this?" J asked as he crossed his arms across his chest, with a suspicious look on his face.
Blitz scratched his head nervously. "Vell, I vas vondering if you could make me a theme song."
"Somehow, I'm goin' to regret askin' this, but why?"
"I'm getting very tired of sharing the spotlight vith the others. I vant my own time to shine," Blitz admitted to the teen. "I vant to talk about myself and my greatness."
"More like to inflate your ego," J muttered under his breath.
"Vhat vas that?" Blitz asked as he snapped out of his self-adoration.
"I said that I'll give it a go," J said before pulling out his phone. "I've already got an idea in mind, but I need to have a voice sample. I have friend at home who can manipulate any voice into singin' voice. What do you say?"
Blitz thought about J's proposition for a brief moment. This was his only chance at getting a theme song, and he wasn't going to pass up on this opportunity for he might not have another chance. After some deliberation, he agreed and gave the Shiba Inu a voice sample.
Pocketing his phone, J said, "Give me a couple of days, n' I'll have your theme ready for your listenin' pleasure."
A couple of days have passed, and Blitz was anxious to hear his own theme song. A knock came on his door. He jumped out of his bed and made his way to the door. He nearly took it off its hinges as he opened to reveal J on the other side with a CD in hand.
"Here's your completed theme," J announced as he handed Blitz the CD, who eagerly snatched it out of his hand and rushed over to his stereo. "What no thank you?"
Blitz didn't hear the Shiba Inu as he popped the disc out of the case, fumbling with it as he tried to place in the CD player. Once he placed the CD in the tray, he closed the tray, bouncing around like a five-year-old on candy and soda. After the stereo read the disc, the music began to play.
Blitz (Female backup singers):
Who's bad superfly tooshie biter?
(It, it, it, it's Blitz.)
You've never seen a superfly tooshie biter as bad as this Blitz.
(As bad as this Blitz.)
Who's bad superfly tooshie biter?
(It, it, it, it's Blitz.)
You've never seen a superfly tooshie biter as bad as this Blitz.
(As bad as this Blitz.)
Female backup singers:
It's Blitz; It's Blitz; Blitz
Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-Blitz
It's Blitz; It's Blitz
Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-
Blitz; Blitz; Blitz; Blitz;
Blitz; Blitz; Blitz; Blitz;
Blitz:
B-L is for the Burning Love that Blitz brings to the ladies
I is for the Incompetence of not getting the clue
T is for the Timidness he shows during the missions
Z is for the Zenith 'cause he's the definition of fail
So…
Blitz (Female backup singers):
B-L (Burning love)
I (Incompetent)
T (So timid)
Z (The Zenith)
B-L (Burning love)
I (Incompetent)
T (So timid)
Z (The Zenith)
J:
He's Blitz; he's bad to the bone
He's Blitz; he's bad to the bone
He's Blitz; he's bad to the bone
He's bad; he's sad
He's Blitz; he's sad to the bone
He's Blitz; he's sad to the bone
He's Blitz; he's sad to the bone
He's sad; he's mad
When the song ended, Blitz released an angered growl as he turned to see the tail end of a laughing J.
"Get back here, so I could skin you alive!" Blitz shouted as he chased after the laughing teen.