Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any of the characters in it.
After yet another successful Date Night- consisting of dinner at one of Sheldon's pre-approved Italian restaurants and returning to her apartment to watch the newly released special-special edition of Star Trek: The Next Generation- Amy internally prepared herself for her least favorite part of their monthly routine, when Sheldon announces his decision to leave. More often than not (or always, her mind unhelpfully supplies) she wished she could extend the invitation so her boyfriend could spend the night with her, without fear of him using some sort of Kolinahr-mind-trick-type-thing to try and banish the thought from her head forever. But like everything involving Sheldon, she would have to be patient.
To her surprise, however, instead of rising to gather his things Sheldon remained rooted to the seat he had designated as "his spot", appearing to be contemplating something. He seemed almost… anxious.
"Something on your mind, Sheldon?" Amy goaded gently as she sat on her couch, tea in hand.
Sheldon's eyes darted to Amy's ever so briefly before skittering away to focus on something else. For a long minute he said nothing, but Amy had learned long ago to wait for him to speak up, in his own time.
At last Sheldon turned in his seat to face her fully, all business. "I would like to extend to you an offer."
"Yes?" Amy encouraged, followed by a sip from her mug.
Sheldon ran his lips over one another, thinking of how to proceed. With any other man, Amy could relent to the almost magnetic pull of those tantalizing pink lips and kiss his worries away. But of course, Sheldon is not any other man- he is exceedingly evolved homo novus.
Amy again raised the mug to her lips to muffle a snort.
Sheldon was still choosing his words, and just as Amy thought he was going to forgo the entire thing, he opened his mouth to speak.
"I would like to request, if you would be a willing participant, that you help me conduct an experiment in which the test subject, in this case, you, positions him or herself in an upright position, meaning that the upper half remains exactly perpendicular to the ground, and produces onto his or her countenance a contrived expression of gaiety as a completely impartial administrator generates an inanimate, pixilated facsimile of said test subject with a cellular device."
Amy took a long moment to scrutinize the face of her boyfriend closely as she pieced together what he had just said.
"So… you want me to sit up straight and smile while you take a picture with your phone?"
"For an experiment," Sheldon repeated quickly.
Even as he keeps his gaze averted, her own puzzled frown never left his face. "May I make an inquiry regarding the nature and purpose of this experiment?"
Sheldon sat stock-still, save for one barely perceivable gulp. "That is classified information. Your knowledge may skew the results of this study. This very valid, scientific study." He drummed his fingers against the arm of the couch. "For science."
Amy looked at him for just a second longer before finally relenting. "Uh… I guess."
Relief evident on his face, Sheldon fished his iPhone from his pocket while Amy straightened up and awkwardly ran a hand over her hair. The camera was poised and ready to roll, but Sheldon still hesitated.
"One moment," he said as he set the phone down on the coffee table and scooted closer. His hands fluttered uselessly for a bit before timidly settling on the hem of her blue cardigan to smooth it out. Her breath snagged in her throat, but Sheldon failed to notice as he moved to her arms, even licked the pad of his thumb to carefully wipe away a spot of excess tomato sauce on the corner of her mouth. The last thing he did was take off her glasses with his own two hands and wipe the lenses with his Batman t-shirt. Just as he was sliding them back onto her nose, he finally caught her eye as she stared at him open-mouthed.
Those damn lips were back in action as he licked them again, barely inches from her own. "Removing all variables."
In nanoseconds he was back in his spot, quickly rubbing sanitizer on his hands before taking hold of the camera once again. "Now say 'Physics!'"
Ordinarily Amy would have rolled her eyes at his continual insistence in asserting his field of study as dominant over hers, but her brain was still hyper-focused on every point of her body that her germaphobe of a boyfriend had touched. She stretched her lips into a smile that even she knew must look painfully awkward and repeated the phrase.
As soon as the flash of his phone had receded, Sheldon grabbed his bag and with a rushed "ThankyouAmygoodnight" he was out the door.
On her part, Amy remained frozen in place, attempting to make sense of what had just occurred. Then one long, exasperated sigh finally propelled Amy from her seat as she picked up her now cold tea and went to the kitchen to reheat it.
Dismissing his behavior as one of his many bouts of genius insanity that even she could never begin to understand, Amy never gave that night a second thought. That is, until one Christmas nearly two years later, when she was brought to attention the screensaver of a certain brilliantly quirky physicist. Now at last she had answers regarding the purpose of his impromptu experiment.
That single photo definitively proved, without an iota of doubt, just how much one Sheldon Lee Cooper cares for his girlfriend.
First TBBT fic! I'm hoping to continue this before the premiere hits, but I've just started college so we'll see (and for those of you waiting on my DW story, if there's any left, I'm sosososososo sorry. Writer's block is a bitch). Enjoy!