A/N: Just a short Cisseni (hope I spelled that right) drabble about what was going through her mind when the orders to execute Zack were put out. Enjoy!
Should Have Said No
He's your friend… No, you have no friends. You're a Turk. This is what you were meant for.
Then, why does this all feel so wrong? It was never meant to be deception. I never realized it would come to this. I should have known. But I was too foolish, maybe even too innocent, to see the truth. But how? I'm a Turk. This all should have been so obvious…
I was too caught up in you. Or, maybe in me. Maybe I was so desperate to have a real friend, just once in my life. Just once, I didn't want to be a Turk. I wanted to the girl I used to be. The one who liked to make friends and flirt with boys... But that's over now.
I never should have accepted this mission. I should have said no. The child I used to be would have in a heartbeat. But I'm not longer that child. I'm a Turk now. And I can't say no to this mission.
It's hard to pick up my shuriken, knowing that I might be aiming it at you next. But I manage. I always manage, somehow…
I'm so sorry, Zack. I should have said no. But it's too late to turn back now.