Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any thing related to Harry Potter, except my Harry Potter tee-shirt which I got on sale for $5.99….

"You ready for this Ron?" asked Hermione

"Fire away" he replied lazily and Hermione, with an apprehensive look at Harry, began to read:

There once was a beautiful little girl named Ella. She was a very happy but one day, her mother, a lovely sweet and charming young lady fell ill and died very suddenly.

"Of Cinderella." said Ron matter-of-factly, fooling with his wand and showering red and green sparks on the sofa.

"No," said Hermione impatiently, "of an illness."

"Yeah, that's what I said!"

"Ron," interrupted Harry, "Cinderella's the kid."

"Blimy!" said Ron sitting up fast "The girl killed her Mother? "

"No!" yelled Harry

"Wait, I thought her name was Ella?"
"It is." Said Harry, "but"

"She's having one heck of an identity crisis."

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued to read

Ella's father, a traveling doctor, soon fell in love with a tall, skinny woman."

"Rebound" muttered Ron.

And they were to be married. But when Ella's father left, she was a curl, mean, horrible woman, who made Ella clean, cook and dust till the end of the day. Ella's only safe haven was the few precious days in which her father came home. One day Ella woke up early to bring tea to her father's study and found him slumped across his desk, a knife through his heart. Dead. He had claimed his own life, in his type writer, the ink still wet, was his note of farewell.

"Poor kid, First the identity crisis now this…"

Ella was treated more poorly now and the two wicked, evil step-sisters she had, nick-named her Cinderella, Because of the cinders on her apron from cleaning the fire place.

"Wow." breathed Ron, "this story is depressing."

One day there was a magical ball and everyone in the land was going to be there except that is, Cinderella…

"Why?" asked Ron. "Did she go on holiday?"

"No! Her step-mother wouldn't allow it!"

"Harry," said Ron," you better not read this to Teddy Lupin when he's older or he'll be seriously messed up."

"Ron!" said Hermione sharply.

"It's true!" yelled Ron back. "Kid's an orphan, a slave and…and…very badly dressed!"

Harry pried the book from a seething Hermione's hands and began to read, the childish tale.

Alone in the garden Cinderella began to cry... "Why are you crying?" asked a voice. Cinderella started. She had thought she was alone…

"Hey! That voice's trespassing on private property, 'cause she's in her garden right?"

"Ron, you're such an idiot…why do I love you?!"

"What was that last bit?"

"Never mind…."