TAKEN
Oh they'd done it. They'd taken him. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that antagonizing a bunch of drug dealers wasn't a good idea. But it'd been worth it at the time, looks on their faces. And he'd only expected a brick or two through the window. Not for a bunch of illiterate druggies to assault him on the street then drag him into the back of a van.
If he'd been someone else, he might have been worried that they would have their wicked way with him.
Instead, here he was, lounging in the van, casual smile on his face.
"Why's 'e so 'appy?" grunts one of the druggies, peering through the van window.
"Prob'ly banged 'is 'ead an' thinks 'e's goin' Disneyland." Comments another, who then proceeds to laugh uproariously.
Contrary to popular belief, no he did not think so.
Safe and tucked into a pocket sown into his shirt ('why the hell did you do that? Are you a fucking drug smuggler?') was his mobile phone. It was on and it was ringing number 1 on his speed dial. ('Don't waste my time and leave a message. Tch.')
He'd been taken, but was full well expecting Kanda to come along and do a Liam Neeson on these suckers.
***#
Lenalee pops into the room in the dojo where Kanda was. Currently he's stood scowling at the group assembled in front of him.
"Hey Kanda, your mobile's ringing."
"Who is it?"
"Lavi."
Kanda pauses briefly, considering.
He was always glad not to be teaching this group of no hopes karate. Wouldn't be doing it in the first place if that damn Tiedoll hadn't trapped him into it. But then again… talking to that stupid rabbit wasn't too great either.
"Oh, it's gone to voicemail."
He tells Lenalee to leave it, and turns back to terrorizing the wimp-ish Jackie Chan wannabes.
***#
They hadn't moved in the last ten minutes. Using memory, every couple of minutes Lavi tapped through his shirt to call Kanda again. But this idling was boring, so he knocks on the wall that separated the cab from the storage space.
"Hey what's the hold up? Wouldn't mind, but places to go, people to see."
The druggie, the one with the eyes pointing in different directions scowls through the dingy window. This only makes Lavi grin further. The man's scowl was like baby's first smile in comparison to Yu's scowl.
"We're stuck in traffic. I wouldn't be so eager to get there; you ain't coming back when you've got to where I just came from."
Wow.
"That's the problem with drugs. You'll end up like you, Bug Eyes." He pretends like he was some sort of TV show presenter. When Bug Eyes doesn't respond, Lavi knocks again. "Hey Bug Eyes, don't worry, it's not just you. I once met this girl; beautiful, eyes, hair, chest, that sort of thing. I was there, you know, charming her, but her minds like a sieve. Kept forgetting everything I said to her…"
The druggies in front curse their luck that this is their first ever hostage.
***#
It's lunch time and Kanda finally has the time to check his phone. He sits down on one of the uncomfortable couches in the staff room, and picks the phone from where it was discarded on the table.
Fifteen missed calls from Lavi.
To ignore or not to ignore.
He tells himself.
He's only listening to the voicemails because otherwise Lavi will be doubly annoying when they next talk.
Yeah.
First voicemail.
Banging noises and muffled words, something about Disneyland. Second voicemail, much the same.
Great. Fifteen voicemails from Lavi's unconscious phone. As he's about to delete them all, Lavi rings once more.
"If you call me again, I'll slice you up -"
"And I was like 'Silent, Yu!'-"
"What the -"
"Because we were in a situation where one of us was hidden, yeah. It was like we were in a movie-"
What's this? Lavi's not talking to him; he can hear another voice in the distance, almost begging the redhead to shut it.
"- Like I dunno, one with Liam Neeson in it? If Liam Neeson was a young, pretty Asian dude -"
Ah.
Lavi's in trouble, and he can't speak freely.
"Kanda, Allen's here for that match-"
He holds up a hand.
"And woah, what the hell's wrong with this road, Bug Eyes? Are we in the countryside? You've driven me to the countryside for a nice picnic – Aw, nah, jeez, it's bright, is that the -"
"Fuckers got a phone on him!"
"Oooh, I didn't think we were that close Buggy-" Lavi's voice is cut off with a gasp of pain. Kanda clutches the phone harder.
"Who was 'e bloody calling – ha, it's Yu! Hey you - "
"I will find you, and I'll fucking kill you all."
Buggy hangs up.
Kidnapping the rabbit was one thing, but how dare that drug-addict-no-hope even utter his name. Lenalee's face is serious as she sits down next to Kanda.
"What was that?"
"That idiot rabbit's just gone and gotten himself kidnapped."
"What? By who?"
Cue Allen strolling in. Yet another Bane of Kandas existence, his disabled arm meaning this fellow karate aficionado fought with rules as loose as a whale's waist band. This clown claimed to fight with his feelings. Bullshit, he just didn't know any karate and was a terrible liar.
Allen glowers at Kanda almost as if he can read the thoughts. Cue clipboard cutting through the tension.
"Guys focus! Lavi's been kidnapped!"
Ah, yes. And now they were supposed to find him. Honestly, this would be too much bother. Those men would have gotten away with it if not for the whole 'Hey you' thing. And now it was these three, a group of random puzzle pieces jammed together to find the so far missing piece.
"Who kidnaps an eighteen year old?" Kanda remarks.
"Let's note whose Lavi's annoyed recently." Lenalee suggests.
"Well, Kanda."
"Tch."
"Uh, that girl at the bar?" Allen offers.
"The librarian, he threw a book at him last time."
"Yeah, but that's his granddad."
"This is going nowhere." Kanda huffs.
"Maybe I could call my brother? I know he's in forensics, but I could ask him to get one of the squadron to look into it?"
Kanda zones them out. He's just remembered. It had been a stupid day at work. One of the students had tripped and somehow managed to split his head on the soft mats. He clung to Kanda as though the man would comfort him. The guy was useless at karate but somehow had the grip of a vice. Even Kanda knew that breaking the guys fingers wouldn't be a good move. Eitherway, long story short; annoying Vice Man, Allen sympathising with Vice Man, Lenalees teasing about a secret relationship between the Vice and Kanda.
Well, anyways, he was glad to be back at the flat eating soba and drinking green tea. Door clanks open, its Lavi, so backpack bursting with books. He drops it by the door, its full of books that the flat is too small to hold.
"Soba again? You'll become malnourished, Yu."
He reads the look on Kanda's face as easily as any of those books.
"Tough day at work, eh? How 'bout this, I'll tell you a nice story to cheer you up."
"How about you just walk in front of a car? That would cheer me up."
Lavi sits opposite Kanda at the little table, leaning back planting his hands casually in his hair and his feet are either side of Kandas. He launches into the story anyway. Though he'll never say it, Kanda's glad for the distraction from his thoughts. It's a story featuring Lavi, and the boroughs local suppliers. A dashing story of how our gallant hero goes out of his way to try and spread some knowledge into the drug addled brains of the dealers. For they had been trying to sell him washing detergent under the guise of coke, and he casually told them what real snow was indeed, and that he could easily get his own.
Kanda is never dumbfounded; instead, he narrows his eyes over at the other boy.
"Are you stupid? They'll think you're challenging them and try to kill you."
Lavi brushes it off with a laugh.
"Nah, 'cuz I know that you'd rescue me. Can't live without me, can you?"
"Tch. I'd give you to them. Peace and quiet."
The red head just grinned, knocking Yu's feet under the table.
***#
"Drug dealers." He says suddenly. Allen quirks an eyebrow.
"I didn't take you as the type to get high. It's not really the time though."
He sometimes feels like he is the only float sailing through a sea of idiots.
"Lavi antagonized a group down near Hackney." While he speaks he drags on his coat. Lenalee had left a message on her brothers mobile but knowing him he'd only see it next month so instead she follows after Kanda and Allen, much to the younger's chagrin.
"It's alright Allen. National Taekwondo champion right here."
They get down to the grungy streets where the rookie gang members hang. At first these mismatched dregs of humanity laugh and sneer.
"What a bunch of girls. Me nan's scarier than youse lot."
Apparently not, as only a couple of minutes later, the gang are cowering, bleeding and broken. Kanda's not taking any shit, and so help him if this guy doesn't talk now, he'll never talk again.
"Lavi, he looks like this - " The gang member blinks through his tears to get a look at the picture on Kanda's phone. "He was arguing with some of you scum a couple of days ago. Recognise him?"
"Y-yes… the... some of the guys… they took 'im to… to the boss – thought 'e was a chall'ger."
The man sobs. This achieves nothing but Kanda's arm pressed harder against his throat. Lenalee shoots him a warning look, but the annoyed Japanese guy ignores it.
"Where?"
He sobs once more before divulging the location. Done, Kanda tosses the man aside where he lies snivelling like a discarded tissue. A light kick knocks him out.
"Kanda - " admonishes Lenalee.
"He was pissing me off."
"Let's go -" Allen starts to head off.
"Are you an idiot? We can't just charge in there, it'll be full of more of these and worse."
"Who knows what they could be doing to Lavi now?" Allen's voice is raised, he squares up to Kanda, and there's is only a sense of frustration and resolve flooding through his lean body. Kanda shuts his eyes and sighs harshly.
"He's more resourceful than you'd think. If we're going to get him out of this dealer's lair, we need to come up with some sort of plan." The look in Kanda's eyes is pure steel determination, can't cut through it with the hardiest of machinery. "And whoever this boss is? I'll fucking kill him."
Allen nods. The two rivals are for once walking the same path, to the same goal, that enigmatic librarian Lavi. You could almost call this A Moment, and Lenalee isn't eager to disturb it. But time ticks by and Lenalees phone rings.
"It's Reever."
They connect to the Metropolitan police, and amongst the unconscious bodies within the alley, start plotting a way to get their friend back.
***#
Well, this isn't what he'd been expecting.
He'd always loved reading. Ever since he walked into his Granddad's library at a young age. There was something about books that got to him. The smell of old and new pages, the feel of ink beneath your fingers, as well as getting so lost in a book you could pull another character on like a shroud.
That's why he followed that trail of ink, and became a librarian, just like Gramps. During all these years, he'd read a multitude of crime novels. That and war stories were favourites of Gramps, so there were always plenty knocking about.
Anyways.
Sometimes in these stories, drug dealers cropped up. They'd have lairs. Either shady, scrappy apartment blocks with weed shoved in a back room, or tipped on the other scale. Towering warehouse prime productions.
Never…
This.
He had been lead to the 'boardroom' as the Leader had wanted to see him.
It was…
Dark, purple shadows. A long table, outfitted with lavish foods. Gold, or at least brushed metal ornaments. Stripy candelabras and pumpkin motifs. And this kingpin, the leader, the Earl, the 'Duke of Millenium.' Big, round jolly face, round specs, charming Victorian top hat, and rounded Santa belly.
That's it, that's the way to describe it.
Lavi felt like he'd stepped into Halloween town and Santa was the major.
'Sit down child." The Earl was sat one end of the table, he sits opposite.
"Would you like something to eat? You've arrived just in time for dinner. Ooh, the eggs are pretty good."
He looks at the table and thinks vacantly of how Allen could eat this in a heartbeat.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry."
The Earl just smiles, a smile of teeth and nothing. He pops something in his mouth.
"So you want to get into the drugs business do you? Do you want to know why I'm in the business?"
Really, he should just deny it all and leave. He wants to go home, annoy Kanda then read. But this undying curiosity wins over all and he asks why. At this, the Santa like face of the Earl twists. He's still smiling, never stops, but darkness pushes between his teeth and his eyes until what is sat opposite is just a demon clutching the guise of a human. Discomforted, Lavi clutches the chair legs.
"I'm in this business because I hate you all. You grow sad, you grow weak, and your judgement falters. There I am, ready to pick your spirits up with some nice ol' drugs! Your grubby little hands reach out gleefully, you clutch at the keys of your own destruction. I will keep giving out these keys because at the end of the day everyone wants it! You look at the sky outside and see the grey smog, it's not just the pollution of the city, it's you, you all know you're the pollution, so you clutch tighter wanting this and I WILL GIVE YOU KEYS UNTIL THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED."
Finished with his speech, the skin has fallen off, there's no Santa, no human there. What was he thinking, this - this is just a demon.
Lavi almost wishes he'd never asked. He feels sick in his bones. He can see some of it, the pollution, after all, there've been more wars than you can count and God knows Gramps had tried. But this guy wanted to cut the cord and send the human race plunging straight down into a black abyss.
"And so, what was your name? Lavi? There are only two options. One-" One gloved finger held up. "You can enter this business, but only underneath me. You too can one day become a member of my family at the top." He gestures to a painting on the wall, the Earl with a bunch of pale faced people. "Or two," Two fingers raised. "I'll kill you."
Bang bang, like a gun.
He knows he cannot. Imagining the pale, broken faces of his friends polluted by drugs is enough. He knows what they would do in this situation. Allen would launch at the Earl, and try to take not only this, but every drug dealer down. Silly him and his martyr complex. Lenalee would refuse point blank, as long as her friends would be safe. Kanda wouldn't have even listened to the entire speech, he'd have beat the guy and left by now.
But him, Lavi, what's he to do? He likes to observe, never the driver, always riding shotgun, the passenger.
He can't take out the Earl and he knows he doesn't want to die. So he'll wind and weave along the outskirts of the problem, until Kanda comes. Because he couldn't leave without his rabbit, could he?
He closes his eyes for a second, then grins, trying to pull a little of the Earl over him like a shroud, to cover his true nature.
"You see, about this whole drugs thing, I once read something 'bout only…"
***#
They're crouched in the bushes opposite this nondescript building. It is so bland, so unassuming, it's almost like it isn't there. Almost, but it is there, right at the address the dealer had uttered. Anyways, there they are, and they are…
Allen, Kanda and Lenalee.
"I though Komui said some officers were coming?" Allen says, dejected.
"Cross, well, you know what he's like better than anyone, Allen. I think Tiedoll was last seen drawing something somewhere and I guess the force is so overstretched they just couldn't send anyone."
"Tch. What a useless force. Let's just get this over and done with. That idiots caused enough trouble."
"For someone you don't like, you've spent a lot of time looking for them."
Ignoring Lenalee completely, he stands up, striding purposefully across the tarmac.
"I fear the lady doth protest too much." Allen smiles over at Lenalee, who shares it, before they too enter the building.
Low level gangster wannabes are left strewn in Kanda's wake as he brutally cuts through wave after wave. The group come to an oddly placed junction, and split up. Allen's locked in with one of the 'family', trapped fighting an odd lithe little girl, the one who'd designed the place actually. She's weird, can't be as young as she looks, and she's flirting with him. Awkward. Lenalee's whirled into a fight with an oddly charming gentleman, but he nips with knifes like needles, so she's glad she uses her legs and steel capped boots.
And Kanda…
Well.
So here's the scene. Lavi, as many stories as he knows to tell has quickly burnt down the candle of the Earls patience. The man, enraged and ever so bored has flipped, deciding he no longer cares for this sod in front of him. He's shot up, slipped back into that human skin for now and picked the gun up. Lavi's ready to action-movie-style flip it and use the table like a shield. The Earl opens his mouth to say one last thing.
The door opens.
"Time to die."
And then everything goes so quick. A shot. Bang. Lavi's been pushed to the floor, a weight on top of him. No, not a weight, it's Kanda. Blood trickles from his shoulder. It's bloomed over his shirt, and Lavi's almost speechless. Kanda's eyes scan Lavi so quickly.
"Oh? Who are you?" The Earl asks breezily.
Only Kanda would so brazenly ignore the Earl.
"Are you hurt?"
"I'm a-okay!" Lavi grins. Kanda nods, getting up.
"Doesn't matter either way. I'll kill you all the same."
What follows is perhaps the weirdest fight that Lavi had ever witnessed. Close combat, the Earl'd ditched his gun, picked up something like a sword. Kanda had responded, the two were now locked in a sword fight.
Uh huh.
The Earl fought like a man half his weight and Kanda like someone straight out of a samurai movie.
Well.
It wasn't quite Liam Neeson, but Lavi would take it.
However, it was clear Kanda was hurt; he'd been grazed by that bullet after all. Lavi needs to wrap this up quickly. He scans the room for a weapon. Could use the candelabra, but he doesn't want to kill the guy, needs something blunt, like those things you use to smash the fire alarm box -
Ah hah.
A grin spreads across his face.
Kanda had seen Lavi approaching, but didn't react. The Earl was actually forcing him back; he needed to disarm this fat fuck fast. Then the guy just drops to the ground. And not like a sack of potatoes.
Like a fainting maiden.
Kanda's not one to be dumbfounded, so instead scowls down at the man, before looking up to see his attacker.
It was Lavi with a hammer, and of course,
wasn't even worth noting now,
that smile.
He drops the hammer and throws his arms around Kanda. His head settles in the crook between Kanda's neck and shoulder.
"Yu! I told you that you would rescue me." The words buzz into his skin. And Kanda tells him to shut up, but doesn't push Lavi off because he's tired and his arm hurts and actually this is really comforting –
Yeah.
The door slams open again. Lavi pulls back, arm still slung around Kanda's shoulder. It's Allen and its Lenalee and even though they're worse for wear the mysterious librarian that is Lavi has lit up their faces.
What follows next is a hodgepodge. Here, have it double quick, take a deep breath so as not to miss it. Embarrassing comments from Lenalee, denials from Kanda, hugs from Lavi for everyone, ignoring the grinning man on the floor, storming out even though he's hurt, gripping Lavi's arm so he 'doesn't get kidnapped again, damn it.' Sirens, police arrived after the main event, but the building lies completely empty.
Eitherway, finally Lavi's home. He's flopped out on the couch, idly surfing channels while they wait for the pizza to arrive. He had told Kanda to go to hospital and get his arm check out, but the man just ignored it, whatever, he's known for his freakishly quick recovery rates. Settling on the film channel, he's grinning again.
"D'you know what that all was like? That Liam Neeson film, eh."
"…That would make you my daughter."
The horrifying reality of that swoops down upon the room until Kanda just shakes his head.
"Whatever. I'm not doing that again."
"Yeah, but there's a sequel, you know."
Not if he had anything to do with it.
FIN
AN: So this happened. I wrote it all very quickly one evening after being hit round the face with inspiration. (And obviously, I don't own DGM, Taken the film or Liam Neeson.) It was meant to be slightly humorous, not as long, and went weirdly serious in the middle. Buuut hopefully it was all good and fairly entertaining to boot. :)
Once again, many thanks to Soul-out-Fairy for beta reading, and thanks to you for reading. Drop a review if you liked it, and if you didn't.