Until The End
By: Raloria
Disclaimer: I don't own Sam or Dean Winchester, the genius Eric Kripke does.
Author's Notes: This story covers the scene in Croatoan when Sam has been infected by the virus and Dean chooses to stay with him in the medical clinic. Told from Sam and then Dean's POV. I love any and all reviews, so please click the little lavender button below.
Sam
I'm crying like a little kid, but I don't care. I won't let Dean die. Why won't he listen to me? I smash my cast down on the table like a five year old having a temper tantrum, but Dean is totally unfazed.
I want him to live. He doesn't have to stay with me. There's nothing he can do to save me, so why can't he just save himself?
I'm not afraid to die, but I won't kill myself in front of my own brother. That would destroy him as much as if he were forced to kill me himself. I won't do that to Dean, not after all he's gone through. I'm trying to save him from more pain, but he won't let me.
He tells me he's tired, that he doesn't want to go on. Part of me realizes I've known this for some time now. Ever since Dad's death, Dean hasn't been himself. I kept denying it though. My brother has always been the strong one, but now that strength is wavering. The signs have all been there. His eyes are darker, his footsteps heavier, his behavior erratic. I can see the pain in his eyes. It's a sight I've seen often over the past few months.
He's so willing to die, but I won't have him die because of me. Too many lives have ended needlessly because of me and my connnection to the Demon. I can't let Dean die that way either.
Dean
I'm so tired. Tired of fighting and hunting and living. Tired of carrying this secret for another moment.
Sam wants an explanation, a reason. I want to give him one, so badly. But I can't. I promised. It's so tempting, though, to just say it finally. To be free of the burden.
I now realize what Dad meant when he said he just wanted this to be over. That's how I feel now, too. If Sam is going to die, then I'm going with him. I've lived longer than I had any right to and I've lost more than I can bear...Mom, Dad, a normal childhood. If Sam dies, I'll have no one left. There'll be no more reason for living.
What good is going on with the fight if you have no one left to fight for?
Dad would want me to go on and kill the demon, be the good son, fight the good fight. But I can't. I'm not strong enough anymore. It left me with dad's death.
I feel like an empty shell. I go on only to protect Sam. I told him I wouldn't let anything bad happen to him and I meant it.
I won't let him die alone, I'll be there until the end.