Hello!
This oneshot is about Robbie and Rex and sort of their relationship. I enjoyed writing it very much and hope you enjoy reading it just as much and that all the emotions come through. As always, I would of course like to get some feedback. :)
Now have good read!
They tell him his brother won't come home again.
He doesn't understand. Have they sent him away? Why?
He has gone to heaven, they say. He overhears something about a drunk driver on his way to school that's a block away and his brother has just started to go to on his own.
Everyone is crying while he still doesn't understand. Can they visit his brother in heaven? Does he want to be there? Why can't he come home?
Nobody seems able to answer him but he keeps asking until his mother tells him angrily and with tears in her eyes to be silent.
He does keep silent after that though he still doesn't understand. He misses his brother though. He misses him so bad.
He keeps silent in kindergarten as well. His friends try to play with him but every game reminds him of his brother and makes him get lost in his silent questions again. Soon, nobody asks him to play anymore. And not much later, they tease him for just sitting there in silence.
His mother still cries a lot. His father gets angry with her when he sees her crying again. Robbie guesses he would be angry with him as well, so he doesn't cry in front of him. Just like he keeps silent to not make his mother angry again.
The five-year-old does cry though when it's dark and he lies alone in his bed.
o
o
Some day, they take him to some woman. They have asked him if he's alright and he has always said he is because he knows they won't like to hear him say otherwise. He doesn't say much more. He still keeps silent because that's what his mother wants. He keeps silent when he's teased in preschool. He keeps silent when someone pushes him. He keeps silent when his teacher asks if the other kids bully him. He keeps silent when he's hungry and nobody has started making dinner yet. He keeps silent when he's had a nightmare and lies shaking and alone in his bed.
Now, he's with some woman who tells him to draw a nice picture of his family.
He draws his parents, his baby sister, his older brother and himself.
She asks him if his older brother is still around. He shakes his head.
She asks him if he understands what happened. Instantly, the questions start again in his head because he doesn't understand. But he keeps silent and doesn't react.
She asks him if he misses him. He thinks about his tears and his father's anger and doesn't react.
She asks him if he cries sometimes. He doesn't react.
She stops asking and tells him that it's alright if he doesn't want to talk about it. If he wants to play instead?
He nods and she gets some stuffed animals out. He has always loved playing pretend with them.
He picks up the elephant and still looks at it from all sides when the woman has already picked up the giraffe and moves it as if it's speaking while she says in a contorted voice: "Hello. Who are you?"
The giraffe is turned to the elephant and Robbie instantly turns the elephant in the giraffe's direction while he answers for it: "I'm... Ellie. Who are you?"
"My name is Gigi. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too."
"How are you?"
"Good," the elephant answers like grown-ups do. "How are you?"
"Not so well," the giraffe answers and Robbie pulls his eyebrows together: "Why?"
The giraffe sighs. "I know this young boy who is really sad and I don't know how to help him."
Robbie looks at it for a second, immediately feeling empathy, and then, the elephant answers: "Maybe, you could help him by talking to him."
"I don't think he's ready to talk about it yet," the giraffe says.
Robbie and the elephant keep silent.
The giraffe asks: "Do you have another idea how I could help him?"
Robbie bites his lip and thinks really hard but... "I don't know," he has to admit and is sorry to let the giraffe down. "I really don't know."
o
o
The next time he goes to see the woman, she opens up a cupboard with a lot of puppets in them.
"Do you like them?" she asks as he steps closer.
Oh, yes, he does. He likes puppets. He always has.
"Especially that one," he says and points at one with blond long hair and a pink dress who looks nice and happy.
"She is great, isn't she?" the woman says with a smile but then pulls another puppet out of the cupboard. "I think however we should play with this one today. What do you think is his name?"
He has dark hair, just like Robbie, and quite silly clothes on. His eyes however remember Robbie of his neighbour's dog who he likes very much and they have to have the same name.
He therefore says: "Rex."
And suddenly, the puppet speaks: "That's right. I'm Rex. What's your name?"
He smiles brightly as he answers: "I'm Robbie."
"That's a good name. How about we sit down, Robbie?" he asks and Robbie nods.
Shortly after, he sits back on the couch and the woman and Rex are sitting on the chair together.
"What's up? How are you?" Rex then asks.
Robbie shrugs and gives again the usual answer: "Good. How are you?"
"Oh, life is difficult," Rex answers. "Lately, I've felt really bad."
"Why?" Robbie asks concerned.
Rex moves his hand a little. "I lost someone who was important to me. Do you know how that feels?"
Robbie swallows, thinks about his brother and nods.
Rex nods as well: "It's hard, isn't it? I've cried a lot lately."
Robbie looks in those eyes for a while that remind him so much of his neighbour's dog and finally admits quietly: "I have, too."
"It always feels good to talk about it with someone though, doesn't it?" Rex asks.
Robbie shrugs. He's supposed to be silent.
"Maybe, the two of us could talk about it?" Rex suggests. "If you don't want to with anyone else. I know how you feel."
He shrugs again, isn't sure if he should say anything anymore.
For a while, it's silent then Rex says: "Or we can draw something and have some fun."
Robbie looks up to him and smiles. He would like to do that.
o
o
Rex is always there from now on. Robbie sometimes nearly forgets that the woman is also in the room every time.
He always greets Rex happily as he comes into the room and soon enough, he starts talking to him about what has happened. About how he doesn't understand why he can't see his brother again, how he is treated at preschool, how he catches his parents fighting constantly, how he doesn't like any of it but how his mother has told him to keep silent and how that's his best option.
At home one day, his mother softly tells him that he can talk to her about anything and that she's sorry if she ever said differently.
He tells her everything is alright. She still looks sad and stressed and he does't know if she would like all the things he has to say.
After some times, the woman gives Rex to him and tells him with a smile: "Talk to him."
Robbie looks at Rex and slowly puts his arm inside him like she has seen the woman do.
"Hey, Robbie. Good to see you back," Rex then says, with a different voice.
"It's great to see you again, too, Rex," he answers.
At the end of that hour with her, the woman tells him to take Rex home with him.
"So, you can always talk to him. And maybe, if you don't feel like telling someone something, you could still tell Rex and he could tell someone."
Rex nods at that. He will certainly do that because he is Robbie's friend. Robbie smiles.
o
o
"I don't want him to have a puppet on his hand all the time."
Robbie has had a bad dream and has gone to the living room in search for his parents. Rex hasn't left his side for the last three weeks and has promised to tell his parents about his nightmare.
But they have already heard them fighting from the stairs and now sit in front of the door to the living room. His mother sounds frightiningly angry.
Upstairs, his sister has started crying but nobody goes to looks after her.
"At least, he talks now," his father answers but also sounds mad.
"He doesn't," his mother almost screams. "The puppet does."
"The puppet is him," his father says.
Robbie hears his mother huff, then: "It's making it worse."
"And you know more about this than someone who actually studied it?"
"I know my own son!"
"You don't know anything about child psychology though."
"Are you saying I'm dumb?" his mother asks, flaring up again.
His father shoots back: "Maybe, I am."
Robbie takes in a shaky breath and looks down to Rex. Rex just then whispers: "Let's look after your baby sister. And then get back to bed."
He nods, makes his sister calm down with the help of Rex who guesses she has had a nightmare as well, then he goes back to bed, holding Rex close.
o
o
He's in kindergarten now. The other kids don't like him very much though Rex and he do the best to be nice to everyone.
Today, one of the boys gets scolded by the teacher for bringing his toy car. They aren't supposed to bring their own toys.
"Why is he allowed to bring his toy but nobody else is?" the boy asks and points with his finger to Rex.
Robbie feels his stomach twist. The boy has called Rex a puppet and toy several times over the last few days.
"It's different," the teacher says before Robbie finally defends his friend: "Rex isn't a toy."
"He is," the boy practically spits out. "He is a puppet and nothing more."
Now, it's Rex who speaks up, angrily: "You're just a puppet. And stupid."
"Robbie!" the teacher says.
Robbie's eyes widen. "It wasn't me. It was Rex."
He looks to Rex who isn't afraid of their teacher though Robbie definitely is.
The other boy huffs but their teacher looks at Robbie for a while before she slowly says: "Rex has to come have a talk to me. You better come with us, too, Robbie."
"Yeah, you have to come or your puppet won't even be able to talk to her," the other boy says.
The teacher turns to him again: "And you have to learn that people are different and some kids may need certain toys around but that doesn't mean everyone else is allowed to drag everything here. I want you to treat Robbie... and Rex as equal classmates."
The boy looks at her bewildered but doesn't say anything anymore. She is their teacher after all.
She already indicates Robbie and Rex to follow her to the desk where she has a long talk with both of them about what you are allowed to say.
o
o
Robbie and his sister have been with their grandparents for three weeks. But now, their parents are finally back again. Robbie overhears them talking about something like intensive therapy. They still go away together twice a week to this therapy thing after those weeks.
They don't fight anymore and look happy again in a way, Robbie hasn't seen them for a long time. When he hears his mother laugh for the first time after his brother has gone, he feels a little safer again. He tells Rex how worried he has been. Rex understands and is happy for him. And he tells him that he should go to his parents and also tell them.
"I can't," Robbie says because he hasn't talked about his feelings to anyone but Rex for a long time now and he still hears his mother telling him to keep silent whenever he wants to say something himself.
Rex puts his hand on his arm: "I will, then. Come on."
They go downstairs together but Robbie hears Rex' name out of the living room and stops. He exchanges a look with Rex before he slowly creeps closer to the door.
"He'll grow out of it," his father says at that moment.
"What if he never does?" his mother asks.
It takes a second, then his father says: "Well... He is getting better at this whole ventriloquist thing, slowly starts to move his own lips less... Maybe, he will get exceptionally good at it and can get famous with it." He hears the smile in his father's voice.
His mother scolds him for it, though not as angry as she used to do it: "This is not funny." She sounds exhausted when she continues: "I don't want to see that puppet on his hand for the rest of his life."
Robbie exchanges another glance with Rex and they decide that this isn't the right moment to interrupt them and tell them about Robbie's stupid worries and about how safe he feels because of his mother's laugh.
o
o
In elementary school, the teasing comes back that has mostly stopped in kindergarten with their teacher there watching closely over them.
He hears them right now behind him, talking about him as if he wasn't there, as if he couldn't understand. They talk about how weird he is, how he barely talks.
"And look at his hair," one of them says and that's when Rex turns to them and suddenly says: "It's terrible, right? Someone should just shave it off."
Robbie is shocked. "Rex!"
"I'm just saying... You look stupid," Rex tells him and everyone but Robbie laughs.
o
o
Rex slowly becomes... one of them but at the end of the day he's still Robbie's friend, still listens to him at home. Robbie can still tell him everything.
And somehow, when the insults come from Rex, it doesn't hurt as much as when they come from everyone else. Also, they don't insult him that often anymore when Rex does instead.
Some kids start hanging out with him and Rex and always laugh themselves silly as soon as Rex makes jokes at Robbie's expense. It isn't too bad. At least they now talk to him and sometimes, they are even nice, they invite him to eat lunch with them, they voluntarily do school projects with him.
o
o
He always has to put Rex down for gym class. He hates it. He feels naked without him when he isn't at home. Also, when someone talks to him while Rex isn't with him, he has trouble breathing and just keeps silent again.
One time, one of the boys shoots a ball at Rex on purpose that hits his whole body. Everybody laughs while Robbie screams, grabs Rex and leaves class to truly check on Rex. His parents scold him for just leaving gym class when he comes back home but he tells them he will never go again and he will never be without Rex again outside the house.
He goes to see the woman who has introduced him to Rex two days later. He still has to meet her from time to time.
She tells him that nothing happened and that Rex doesn't care about that ball. But he does care. He tells her so and tells her that he never wants to get hurt again and if Robbie lets him be hurt again like that, he will hate him forever. Robbie feels anxious just thinking about that. He doesn't want Rex to hate him. He can't have Rex hating him. He is his only friend after all.
She writes a permanent excuse for gym class for him after their talk.
o
o
They get used to "that weird kid" as they still call him.
Then, he gets into a theater class and some older kids there are truly nice to him. Even if Rex doesn't make jokes about him at that certain time – at least not more jokes than at home where he sometimes gets into it randomly when Robbie is already feeling bad about school or is thinking about his brother again or how his parents are sometimes so weird around him.
His acting teacher tells him he's quite good for a kid his age and she even claims he has a nice singing voice. All of them have had to sing a few verses as there is a small song for some main characters in the end.
She says she can't give him a prominent role though if he insists on keeping Rex close. He has to put him down to possibly even get the main role.
Robbie can't. He still remembers gym class though he hasn't gone for over a year now. Rex is his best friend. He has to protect him.
His teacher offers to keep him safe any time they have to rehearse but for some reason that thought also makes him panic. He can't do all this without Rex directly by his side.
Also, Rex is his best friend and it doesn't seem like the teacher wants to give him a role at all if Robbie accepts a bigger one.
So, he ends up being villager number four and Rex being villager number five.
o
o
His mother has picked up the guitar recently to have something "to put her feelings into".
Robbie watches her closely one day as she practices and asks if he could also try.
At home, the eight-year-old is ok with putting Rex down, as long as he's still in the same room. At school, he only does it to write something down or to eat but not always and Rex sits right by his hand either way.
He sits him down on a chair now while he sits with his mother on the couch. She shows him how to hold the guitar and how to strum it. It hurts a little on Robbie's hands but he likes the sounds coming out.
Over the next few days, his mother shows him some easy notes and soon he has learned an easy song he plays for her and sings at the same time. It makes his mother smile again which he hasn't achieved in a long time.
"I didn't know you could sing that well," she says and then asks: "Why haven't you gotten a singing role then in your play at school?"
Robbie grabs the guitar tighter while his eyes shift over to Rex who looks back patiently.
For a moment, it's silent, then his mother decides abruptly: "Maybe, you can take guitar lessons."
o
"It'll do him some good," he hears his mother later tell his father in the kitchen while he plays with his four-year-old sister and Rex in the living room, not that far away. "Maybe, it will make him finally forget about that puppet."
"He obviously still needs it," his father gently says.
"I know that's your opinion and that's the only reason I haven't just taken it out of his room one night and destroyed it but if that's really the case... Maybe, making music can help him over it. It helps me."
Finally, his father agrees and they manage someone to come to their house who starts giving Robbie guitar lessons.
o
o
His sister is already six when she suddenly asks him: "Why don't you ever go anywhere without Rex?"
She has played on his computer which she is allowed to. He has come home from school and put Rex down on the bed a second ago.
Robbie looks to her, then to him and back to her: "Because he would be all alone here."
His sister looks at him thoughtfully for a while before she shrugs: "I think he would like to stay alone from time to time. And I bet everyone would like to see you without him from time to time as well. I always like to talk to just you."
"I don't know," he says, looking back at Rex.
His sister stands up, smiles and touches his arm. "I'm just saying." Then she is out of the room.
He finishes his homework first before he picks Rex up again.
"Would you like to stay here some time?" he asks him.
"No," Rex instantly says. "It's not like you could manage without me. Everyone would laugh at you again."
Robbie avoids his eye. "You're the only one who keeps making jokes about me."
"Nobody else does because I'm already doing it," Rex explains.
Robbie guesses he's right though it makes him feel sick to the stomach.
o
o
In middle school, Rex seems to become more and more his own person and a much cooler one than Robbie could ever be.
He doesn't only consist of making fun of Robbie in front of other's anymore or talking in front of the class when Robbie is too nervous to do so – or to talk to his parents about something or listening to and helping out Robbie.
He becomes someone Robbie desperately wants to be like, so at ease and cool and making everybody laugh. But sometimes he's also mean and disgusting and just a bad person so that Robbie has to call him out for it regularly. He's somehow Robbie's best friend and his worst enemy at the same time.
He also gets into another play in middle school and this time he puts Rex down and scores a major role which even includes some singing again. Rex still sits close though and after he sees some of the boys whisper and pointing at Rex, he tells his teacher he can't do it after all. He's too afraid someone will grab Rex and do something to him while he's not watching.
His teacher promises him to keep Rex save in the end and has him in his arm every time they rehearse which calms Robbie down. Though he's still always glad when he finally has his hand in him again.
For the performance, he leaves Rex with his little sister though right before he goes onto the stage he's sure he can't do this without Rex. His breathing gets heavy and he desperately longs for a little talk with Rex.
His teacher finally pushes him on stage and the moment he is on it, the nervousness is forgotten. He's still extremely relieved when his sister gives him Rex back directly after the last bow.
"You were so good," his sister says while she does so and then, his parents are also with them and his mother nods with a proud look in her eyes: "You really were."
His father also wants to say something as Robbie's teacher approaches them. He asks if he could shortly talk with his parents and they move a few feet along. His sister starts to talk about what she has loved most about the play but Robbie isn't really listening. His attention is all on the talk of his teacher and parents.
"Have you ever thought about applying him to a performance arts school?"
He sees his parents exchange a suprised glance and then shake their heads.
His teacher continues: "I think he really has some talent. From what I've heard from other teachers he has also a great general knowledge about music and he definitely is a good singer and actor. He isn't the best I've ever seen, don't get me wrong. But I do see potential in him."
"With... his condition?" his mother asks and Robbie doesn't know what she means.
"He's pretty good at that, too, to be honest, which is also art," his teacher says. "And he makes some great jokes with that puppet as far as I gather, at least I've seen him a few times say something and the whole class laugh. I bet depending on the school he could even audition with that."
His parents exchange another glance before his teacher continues: "And honestly: I think that's why it would do him some good. I know a few kids that have gone to different performance art schools or others around town and all of them were... different. He isn't an outsider here but I don't know if anyone would call him a friend. Maybe, he has better chances there. And with a lot of luck, it could set him up for a great future. Afterwards, he can still go to college and study something more conventional and which will secure his income in a better way than art."
o
o
"Can you imagine doing more acting and singing and performing in general?" his parents ask him a day later.
Robbie exchanges a look with Rex. He has had great fun with that play. He has enjoyed being on stage even if he has been anxious before, even if he would have liked it better if Rex could've been with him.
"I can," he finally says.
His mother smiles at him and pushes a brochure over the table. "Do you think you would like to audition for Hollywood Arts? It's a high school close by and it has a great program."
They give him time to study the brochure in his room and the school does look great. As he reads an example for a time table, he gets excited. It sounds extremely fascinating. He could possibly pick up another instrument. He would get training in singing, acting and dancing, would learn about the history of performing arts which sounds incredibly interesting to Robbie.
As he looks at the pictures of some classes with all the smiling kids in it, he knows he wants to get into it.
"I don't know if you're capable," Rex says though.
Robbie shrugs: "I can still audition."
"You will end up crying in your bed like you always do," Rex tells him and Robbie knows he's right. He will.
But... He looks back to the pictures and swallows hard as he decides: "I'll do it anyway."
"Don't tell me afterwards I haven't warned you."
o
o
He got in!
"I saved your butt in there," Rex says and he totally has but... "Yeah, well..." He is his best friend. That's what best friends are for, isn't it?
"But I'm glad you got in," Rex then already says with an earnest voice.
Robbie smiles. "You got in, too."
"Yeah, I know," Rex easily says, so confidently, like he just is. "I hope there will be some hot chicks there."
"Rex!" Rex has gotten more and more focused on girls. Robbie doesn't understand it.
o
o
He has to do a project with that cool kid, Beck Oliver. He isn't sure how this will go. He himself is one of the strange kids and Beck just so isn't.
But Beck tells him right away that they can meet that day and Robbie offers to come over to his place.
So, later that day he rings the door bell and Beck's mother opens the door smiling.
"Hello. Robbie, right?" she says right away as she lets him in.
"Yes, hello," he answers. "This is Rex."
"Hi," Rex also says and she looks at Rex for a second before she slightly shakes her head and tells him: "You can go right up. Up the stairs, the first door to your right."
"Thank you," he says and goes on his way.
He can hear music in the hallway upstairs already, clearly out of Beck's room.
He knocks before he enters. Beck sits on his bed and writes in some notebook. He looks up and smiles as well when he sees him come in: "Hey."
"Hi," Robbie answers while he closes the door behind him and Rex also says his greeting: "What's up?"
Beck puts his notebook aside while he watches Rex, then he looks to Robbie again: "Do you bring him everywhere?"
Robbie takes a deep breath. Those questions come from time to time. They are mostly followed up by someone making fun of him.
"He doesn't like staying alone," he tries to explain.
Rex snickers. "You are the one who can't talk to anyone without me around."
"Rex!"
Rex looks at him but stays silent. Robbie looks over to Beck who's still just watching him, his expression unreadable.
"Is it a problem?" he tentatively asks. He doesn't know what he can do if Rex being around is a problem for Beck. He probably will offer to do the project on his own and send everything over to Beck as soon as he's finished.
But Beck shakes his head: "No. Let's get started."
He indicates the couch for Robbie and Rex to sit down. Beck also moves over from the bed to the couch and they start working.
It goes amazingly well though they don't always see eye to eye about everything. It happens sometimes that Robbie says they should do something and Beck says he thought they would do it in a different way. Rex always says that Beck's way is much smarter but Beckthen mostly decides that they will go with Robbie's idea.
Robbie feels weirdly confident when his mother picks him up that evening.
o
o
"Want to eat lunch with us?"
Robbie looks up. He is just about to leave the class room of his English class. Beck is the one who has come up to him and Rex. Andre, another one of the cool kids, is standing next to him, also looking at him.
"Sure," he answers. He hasn't been asked to eat lunch with someone since elementary school when the other kids had loved Rex' jokes about him.
Rex fires already up now: "You really want to eat lunch with him?"
"We do," Andre tells Rex and then turns to Robbie: "Come on."
o
o
It's a year later that Rex suddenly says: "I think I'll take a day off tomorrow."
"What?" he asks confused. "It's a school day."
"That's why I talked about taking a day off. I won't go," Rex says.
And he can't just not go. That's not possible. But also... he can't let Robbie go alone.
"What about me?" he weakly asks.
Rex makes a small gesture. "You'll go of course. You have to get the notes for me."
Robbie has trouble breathing. Rex asks almost tauntingly: "What? Can't you go alone?"
"What if they will make fun of me?" Robbie whispers.
They look at each other for a while then Rex assures him: "I'll be back the day after tomorrow and will show them how to really make fun of you."
He still doesn't know if this is right. Beck and Andre have never made fun of him. Jade and Cat who have joined them since Jade and Beck have gotten together also have never done it. Rex has from time to time. That's the reason why they haven't, he knows it.
He swallows hard when he leaves that morning without Rex. His parents are already at work. His sister though looks happy as she walks next to him to the bus stop from which she takes her bus to school.
Beck, Andre, Jade and Cat all treat him like every other day today. Nobody glares at him when he sits down with them for lunch. They still talk to him and joke with him.
He's still glad when he's home and back with Rex that afternoon.
o
o
His sister lies on his bed and plays with her phone while he is on his laptop. Rex sits on the desk a little further away from him.
Sometimes, his sister likes spending time with him in his room, even if they don't talk much. They have a good relationship after all.
Robbie is just checking TheSlap and suddenly calls out: "Look at how many followers Rex has!"
He has shared some photos of Robbie over the last few days that Robbie hasn't really wanted online but it has gained him a lot of followers.
His sister stands up and looks at the monitor herself. She sighs. "Why do people always like reading mean stuff?"
"What do you mean?" Robbie asks confused. They obviously follow him because he's funny, not because he's mean.
His sister looks at him and seems to know his thoughts. "You know that nobody likes him, right? They just like that he's mean to so many people, especially to you, and that he constantly berates you. Because people like being mean or seeing someone else be mean."
Robbie doesn't understand. That's not true, is it?
His sister puts his hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't focus on who follows him but who follows you. Those are the people you should be happy to have around."
She leaves his room after that and Robbie looks after her for awhile before he looks back to his laptop and to his own profile. Not many people follow him.
He takes a deep breath, turns to Rex and picks him up.
"Have you listened?" he asks him.
"Of course. What? Do you think I'm deaf?" Rex replies.
He quickly shakes his head before he looks to the door again through which his sister has left. "What was that?"
Rex huffs. "As if people don't like me. They don't like you. They love me. Especially our friends who are only yours because of me."
Robbie still looks at the door. He doesn't know. Their friends seem to like him as well.
"What?" Rex suddenly snarls. "Do you believe your dumb sister?"
He instantly looks at Rex. "My sister isn't dumb."
"No, just totally stupid," Rex shoots back and in the next moment, Robbie pushes him into one of the drawers and closes it without another word.
He only gets him back out the next morning.
"I'm sorry, Rob," Rex instantly says. "Your sister isn't stupid. But you know she isn't right about this one, don't you? Everybody likes me and I'm the only reason you have friends."
Robbie swallows hard. He guesses that's true.
o
o
Rex decides more and more to stay home instead of coming to school with him.
It isn't so bad. Robbie doesn't keep silent without Rex like he used to once. He sometimes feels insecure and is still always glad to have Rex back when he gets home but it works.
Though he is afraid that his friends will leave – and Rex tells him all the time they one day will when he won't come to school at least every now and then.
"Why do you insist on staying home then?" Robbie asks him a little desperately one evening. "I thought you were my best friend."
"I am, Rob," Rex answers. "But I can't be with you for the rest of your life. You have to learn to let me go."
Suddenly, Robbie has his mother's voice in his ear like an echo: "I don't want to see that puppet on his hand for the rest of his life."
But Rex can't leave. He doesn't want to learn to let go of Rex. He's his best friend.
"I don't want to," he therefore says and Rex doesn't call him out on his voice getting whiny like he sometimes does, instead he says: "Suck it up. That's life. People come and people go."
Robbie feels fear flaring up inside of him, taking him by storm. He has trouble breathing and starts to count through it but he can't.
Suddenly, he sees himself as that little boy, crying alone in his room, having lost one of the most important people in his life. The almost suppressed memory threaten to suffucate him.
He looks at Rex with wide eyes and says with a broken voice: "I don't want you to go."
Rex stays silent as he starts crying.
o
o
He hasn't come with him to school for a solid month now and he hasn't even given his friends a reason for his absence like usual. Every other time he has explained that Rex is taking a break or is sick or something.
They sit at lunch when they look at old pictures of them. Beck is thinking about doing something about friendship for the last project in his photography class.
Tori randomly mentions how awful Rex looks in that one pic because Jade has just gone after him with one of her scissor and Robbie has done everything to protect Rex which is why he's very weirdly held by him. He doesn't know why Beck had to take a picture in that moment. Rex hates that photo.
It's after Tori's comment that Cat faces Robbie: "Where has Rex been anyway?"
He sees everyone slightly shift.
So, this is the moment. What will they do if Robbie tells them that Rex doesn't especially feel like coming back at all, that he's possibly dropping out of school and also doesn't want to hang around anymore for reasons Robbie just doesn't understand. Rex also hasn't really explained his reasons but has called Robbie stupid for not understanding him and has told him that their friends would also soon realize how stupid he is.
He starts to stutter: "He... uhm... he wasn't feeling all that... all that well. I... I'll bring him tomorrow."
"No!" Jade instantly says in that tone that still manages to frighten Robbie.
He sees Beck pulling her closer to him and rubbing her arm soothingly while he says: "If he's still not feeling well, he shouldn't come to school."
Tori and Andre nod and Cat looks at him worried and as if she has done something wrong.
He doesn't say anything and after a while they start talking about something else.
o
o
"They miss me," Rex proudly says as soon as Robbie is back home and sits with him on his bed. He hasn't even told him yet what has happened. But Rex always seems to know.
He slightly shrugs. "I think Cat was just wondering."
She hasn't looked like she missed Rex. Nobody has looked like that. Frankly, the opposite seemed to be the case, everyone more looked unhappy when he said he would bring him again.
But Rex already claims: "She was wondering because she misses me. She likes me."
"She likes me, too," Robbie says without thinking about it.
"You wish!" Rex says.
Robbie swallows hard and doesn't say anything.
After a while, Rex raises his voice again: "Come on, Rob. They may be your friends but remember who has made that happen."
"I do," Robbie says because Rex is of course the reason for every good thing in his life, for every person who has ever talked to him. Still... "Nobody seemed excited with the possibility of you coming back tomorrow."
"So, you won't take me back?" Rex asks and that hasn't crossed Robbie's mind yet but... maybe he won't. Rex hasn't wanted to come back anyway, has he? But it's the first time that Robbie thinks he maybe shouldn't take Rex back even if he would want to. He can manage on his own, can't he? He is good on his own. If Rex isn't there, there are barely ever made jokes at his expense – most are made in their group of friends and are meant in a nice way, just like at everybody else in their group. Maybe, he does even better without Rex.
But he can't say that. Rex is his best friend after all, isn't he?
He therefore just shrugs.
Rex continues talking: "You know that they like me better than you. If you'll never bring me again, they will leave you."
"They like me," Robbie says.
"They don't."
"No, they don't like you. They hate you. They aren't friends with you. They are friends with me and only tolerate you because I need you!"
He doesn't know what has gotten into him.
He presses his eyes close, expecting a brutal comeback by Rex. He hasn't meant to say that.
But Rex says nothing. He opens his eyes again and looks at him. "Rex?"
He keeps silent.
"Rex?"
He starts shaking him, telling him he's sorry, pleading with him to say something to him but Rex keeps silent.
When his head falls back, Robbie knows he will never speak another word. He starts to cry and doesn't stop until his eyes hurt from all the tears. He knows that a part of him has just died.
o
o
Nobody asks after Rex ever again. There's one teacher in a class about the arts that don't get taught extensively at Hollywood Arts who asks him to do a presentation with Rex. Somehow, Robbie knows that this isn't about Rex.
He buys a cheap puppet and does an act with it in front of the class that everyone enjoys. It's just a puppet. It's not another person though Robbie does give it a distinct character. It doesn't feel like betrayal.
Rex does stay his best friend though and will possibly forever. However, even though Robbie mourns him and misses him, he also feels relief. He feels relief to have his worst enemy out of his life. He feels relief that that part of him, that self-loathing, disgusting and bitter part of him has finally died, thirteen years after the death of his older brother.