Title: Hi, My Name is Harvey
Author: Brendan Storm
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: As usual the DC
comics characters are owned and created by
another and I am getting
nothing but pleasure from this, but the created
character and the idea are
mine dang it, all mine
Warning: Yes I wrote my furry butt into the
story. Greeno got to.
Author's Notes: This one's for Cyndi who remembered the
alley behind the
Eight Ball a few months
back.
"Grayson, you ok?" The voice seemed far away.
Officer Dick
Grayson's partner Amy
Robarch was scratching her head.
"How did you manage to be such a klutz with a handgun?"
"Don't... ow, don't like em," Dick rubbed the
center of his
forehead. He was sitting on the ground in a seated
firing position and his weapon was in his lap.
He tasted blood; his lip must have been broken open by the impact. "Damn, that bastard has a kick".
"Dirty Harry special kid, how many fingers?"
"Amy?"
"Answer the question, rookie."
"Two, but what's that on the field?"
"Huh?" She looked across the range where he
pointed.
"I swear I saw a giant... Aw never mind." He looked at the target range again pulled
his own service revolver out and stood in a forward firing stance. The range master gave the all clear and Dick
gave the douche bag shaped target in front of him a smile, emptying the
weapon. 'Hallucinating?' he thought to
himself. 'Guess I'll stop by Leslie's
on the way to Babs' tonight.'
"Amy," he said, "I'll stick with this one,
it's safer."
Sgt Robarch gave a small golf clap and then motioned for
him to get out of the way. The all
clear was given again and she fired once with the huge .45, obliterating the
smile.
"Ok Rookie," she shouted at him through the
noise. "Take it easy."
He waved back blinking as his eyes watered and went
inside. He
thought he saw a flash of
white fur as he entered the locker room.
*** *** ***
"I swear Babs, a giant white rabbit."
"Uh huh, you talked to Doc Thompkins?"
"Yeah, I'm going to drop by there on my way
over."
"Oh tonight? Hang on, got another call." There was a click and a pause. Dick sat in his apartment, a steak held
against his eye which had begun swelling and turning a nasty shade of purple.
"Got any beer?"
"In the fridge."
"Thanks."
The fridge opened and he could hear two bottle caps hit the floor
"Here, drink."
"Thanks... what the?"
"I get that a lot." The voice was deep like a radio announcer's. The face didn't
quite go with the voice though.
"Uh... I've seen some strange things, but what are
you?"
"I'm a rabbit, a common white rabbit. I'm from a small town in
Califurnia called Los
Gatos."
"What?"
Dick stared at the rabbit, looked at his beer, and back to the
rabbit. The mirrored silver eyepatch
across the rabbit's right eye reflected his hasty swig of lager.
"Name's Brendan, y'know the Navigator? Patron saint of
sailing
voyages and internet junkies?
I'm not really him, but my mom was Irish."
"What are you doing here?"
"Drinking a beer." The rabbit belched.
"You mention anything about marinating and I'll kick you." The rabbit stroked the tattered scrap that
made up his left ear and sank into a recliner.
"Yeah. These
are here in case Roy and Wally come over.
I meant in my house."
"Apartment"
"Whatever, get another?"
"You having one?"
"Sure, why not.
I'm talking to a seven foot rabbit."
"Six six."
"Again, whatever."
"Dick?" The hands free headset chirped in his
ear.
"Yeah Babs."
"Were you talking to someone?"
"Yeah."
"There isn't anybody there."
"No bunny?"
"Oh ha ha!"
The giant lapin snickered, then wandered into the back room. "Woah! What a smell!"
"Babs?"
"Dick?" Dick's voice began to sound a lot like
the night when he was nine and trying to get his head out of the banister on
the third floor, panicked and a little desperate. Babs panned her "Damn Fine-vision" camera around the
bedroom and then back to the living room.
There were three empty bottles of Liquid Bread Lager. "Are you drinking?"
"He, he gave it to me."
"The rabbit."
"Uh huh."
"You go lie down.
I'm calling Leslie. I mean
it."
"Yes dear."
