Loneliness is a funny thing. It can make sanity turn into something you laugh at, because its just so ridiculous. It can make you miserable because you feel like no one understands your pain or anguish. It can make you put up an invisible mask of fake emotions, so that no one will think poorly of you. And it can make you scream, in pure terror and regret, gasp in pain and anguish, laugh at happiness and joy. It can make you lose yourself. It will not stop until you feel like scum; the bottom of the social circuit.
I can understand this perfectly, having been homeless and parent less for five years. Starting when I was eight and climbing up until I was sixteen. Where I managed to escape the prison I had been banished to with over two-thousand dollars in my pockets to burn. It was new feeling living in an actual home, where there was a bathroom and kitchen. Of course I had to fake my age to get it; But it was well worth it, even if they did eventually catch me. It was good to finally have somewhere to call my own. A home. However despite this I couldn't shake off my loneliness, and in couldn't understand why. That was until HE found me, he came in a bright flash of green light, and two fireballs in each plant-like hand. I had of curse fought him. How could I not when he became at me with his eyes dancing with the flams of the fire in his hands, and smoke blowing out of his ears? He was furious with me, but I could have cared less. The fact was he was there with me; fighting me. I didn't feel so lonely.
He was the first one to truly understand me, even though I was a thief and he was a hero, who saved people on a daily basis. I could see the loneliness in his eyes, the pain that was there was so much like mine. I wanted him to stay with me to be my friend, and perhaps someday lover. But I blew it, god I blew it to little tiny pieces. That was by far one of the greatest mistakes I could ever have made. And that is saying a lot.
I not blind, I know I still need to redeem myself. But lately that has been the least of my worries. What was, was the loneliness that had returned to those emerald eyes of his. And it scared me so much, I don't him to feel lonely, after all he was the one who had saved me from my own demise. I don't want him to feel the same way I had, I don't want him to feel lonely. But I don't know what to do to change that, I don't know how he managed to save me so quickly, he was growing ever so distant.