This is yet another one of my stupid lists, but, hey, what can I say, I love to make them. I don't own Naruto.
1. Burn his porn.
2. Tell him pornography of any kind has just been made illegal.
3. Write Gai a long love letter from Kakashi.
4. Write that Gai is Kakashi's dirty little secret.
5. Also write that during all those competitions between them Kakashi had hoped to win Gai over.
6. Sign it "Love, Your Number One Adoring Fan Forever, Kakashi Hatake"
7. Hint obviously and continuously that masks are stupid and out of style.
8. Tell Naruto that Kakashi called him his dirty little secret.
9. Ask how old he is repeatedly, and then raise your eyebrows and say disbelievingly, "Really?" for every time he answers.
10. Say "Knock Knock", over and over again, until he says "Whose there?"
11. Then say, "Banana! Hahahahahaha!"
12. When he says that makes no sense, just shake your head saying, "I guess you need an IQ higher than 3 to get it."
13. Repeat the joke over and over, adding a different insult after each time.
14. When he talks scream, "Oh my god! A talking scarecrow!"
15. Say, "Wow lady, you smell like my dead cat!" Whenever you see him.
16. Hug him.
17. Say hi to him. When he says hi back, say hi again.
18. Continue saying hi over and over again.
19. Eat all of Naruto's ramen and blame Kakashi.
20. Lock him in a closet.
21. With Lee.
22. A drunk Lee.
23. Come over his house at midnight crying hysterically saying some one in your family has died.
24. At 4 a.m. mention it was your beloved pet Bubbles.
25. At 6:30 a.m. get up stretch yawn and say your going home. When Kakashi asks how you feel say, "Fine, fine, I can always go and buy another pet rock."
26. Hug him some more.
27. Whenever he talks, be strangely quiet, just cover your nose.
28. When he stops lean forward and say very loudly, "Uh Kakashi I have an issue that we really need to discuss!"
29. Make sure everyone around you is listening before saying, "There are these great new things called breath mints, I really think you should give them a try. I mean talking to you is like standing in a pile of week old garbage."
30. Sing 'Found a Peanut' loudly, whenever you see him.
31. Sing it extremely badly.
32. Offer him a peanut after you finish singing.
33. Fangirl/boy him. You know make googoo eyes and be all girly and flirty.
34. Even stalk him.
35. Then ask repeatedly for him autograph.
36. When he gives it to you say, "Oh... This is awkward. I thought you were Iruka."
37. Say "Muffin" at the end of all of his sentences.
38. Tell Kiba that Kakashi kidnapped Akamaru.
39. Release 200 crickets into Kakashi's apartment.
40. Quack every time he tries to speak.
41. Doctor a picture of him so it looks like he's wearing a thong.
42. A bright pink leopard thong.
43. Hang these photos everywhere.
44. Label the photos,Kakashi Hatake: Single and Sexy; Looking for sexy, smart, young, men who like bubble baths, long walks on the beach, and man thongs.
45. Tell Sasuke that Kakashi wants to have his baby.
46. Tell Sakura that told you that she offered him fifty bucks to sleep with her.
47. Dye his hair pink.
48. Bright pink.
49. With blond high lights.
50. Take pictures of him with said hair.
51. Sell these photographs.
52. Wiggle your eyebrows at him.
53. Say "Hey Kakashi I was looking through some old yearbooks, and I found your picture. You are UGLY! No wonder you wear a mask."
54. Then say, "How does it not burn from the extreme power of your ugliness?"
55. Tell people that Kakashi is a porn star.
56. In old people porn.
57. With other men.
58. Call him Nana.
59. When he says he's not your Nana, smile and pat his hand saying, "Sure you aren't, why don't we get you some rest."
60. Tell people that Nana has been out of it ever since she ate ten gallons of tooth paste.
61. Sing "Kakashi, Kakashi, pudding and pie. Kissed the girls and make them cry. When the big boys came to play. Kakashi realized he was gay!"
62. Very very loudly.
63. Put a "Kick Me" Sign on his back
64. Tell Naruto that Kakashi knows where Orochimaru is.
65. Shave his head.
66. Tell Sasuke that Kakashi knows where Itachi is.
67. Tell Sakura that Kakashi called her ugly.
68. Dye his hair black cut it into a bowl cut to match Gai and Lee's.
69. Then replace all of his clothes with green spandex and orange leg warmers.
70. Tell everyone it's because he's always been secretly jealous of Lee and Gai's relationship and wanted to be part of it.
71. Sit him down and tell him that he could never be part of the Sexy Green Beast clique because he doesn't have those devilishly handsome eyebrows.
72. When he explains that he never wanted to be part of them pat his knee, nod, and say sympathetically, "You are just in denial."
73. Tell Tsunade that Kakashi stole all her sake.
74. Tell Shizune that Kakashi said she was fine.
75. Poke his hair repeatedly and then giggle hysterically.
76. Tell Jiraiya that Kakashi is trying to steal his title of 'Biggest Pervert.'
77. Narrorate his life.
78. Do it loudly and extremely accurately.
79. Laugh hysterically and loudly at everything he says.
80. Tell him you watch him every night as he sleeps.
81. Say that you live in his closet.
82. Call him repeatedly saying ,"Why don't you love me?"
83. Say it louder and more hysterically each time.
84. Tell Ino that he doesn't believe that she's a natural blond.
85. Make a farting noise every time he sits down and then say, "Ewwwwwwwwwww Kakashi!"
86. Then say, "Somebody had a bean buritto for breakfast again."
87. Tell the entire village that Kakashi has gained some weight.
88. Stare at him, and watch at his reaction as people also stare and make comments about diets.
89. Tell him about Weight Watchers.
90. Tell Itachi that Kakashi murdered Sasuke.
91. Say he did it because he didn't believe that Itachi would ever have the guts to do it himself.
92. Tell him that there is no shame in therapy.
93. Follow him around singing 100,000,000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, to the very end.
94. Sing it very, very, very loudly.
95. And in a high nasally voice.
96. Ask him how he gets his hair to look like that, make sure that he explains in extreme detail.
97. After he's finished exclaim, "See no straight guy knows that much about hair!"
98. Every time he pops out of no where scream, "STALKER!!"
99. Whenever he says "Yo", mutter under your breath, "Lame"
100. Hire a pink haired five year old to call him Daddy. When he denies being her dad have her cry and beg and scream, "Why don't you love me Daddy!? I'm sorry I was born!"
101. Once you've done all this sit him down and say gently," Kakashi look this has been fun and all, but you are really boring, and I have a life. I'm not interested in you, I'm sorry, so I'm going home."