DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way shape or form, own the characters from Law & Order: SVU. They are created by Dick Wolf and I will forever love him for it. I am using these characters and the basis of this television show purely for entertainment and am not making any form of profit off of the writing of this piece. (AKA: It's not mine. Don't sue. Thanks.)

Fix You

A/N: Here is the sequel to Not a Day Goes By. So many people said they'd read it that I went ahead and posted it. I hope people see it. I really do. If you haven't read Not a Day Goes By, I strongly urge you to do so in order to understand everything. If you want to go ahead and read this without reading that one, here's what you need to know: Olivia was raped by Kevin Macedo, however, when she reported it, she couldn't identify him because she didn't know his last name. Casey and Elliot helped her to heal – dealing with the fears, the blame, and (eventually) the eating disorder that came from it. The entire squad was instrumental in the process, which was not finished in any way at the end of that story. When a woman in Brooklyn was raped and the DNA matched that of Liv's rape kit, she was able to positively ID him in a line up, Elliot got in a few well placed physical attacks, and then they eventually kissed (Liv's doing) and it ended with Olivia, Casey, and Elliot in a hug. Those, my friends, are the basics. Like I said, READ IT! This whole thing will make more sense.

All right. Thank you for putting up with that.

Without further ado…

Chapter 1: I Still Cry

It had been one month and three days since she had identified her rapist at the Brooklyn special victims unit. It had been two months and seven days since she had been raped. It had been nearly three months since she had felt truly happy, and it had been even longer than that since she had healthy sexual relations. While her entire squad knew that she and Elliot were a couple, it was less than obvious the majority of the time.

It was obvious that Olivia Benson had made very few steps in the healing process.

She had sold her apartment shortly after Kevin Macedo posted bail and had been splitting her time between Casey Novak's apartment and Elliot Stabler's place of residence. She hadn't slept alone since the day she had last seen her rapist, and it was obvious that she was continuing to lose weight and was still ordered to visit George Huang at least once a week, but she generally made two visits.

Her nights were invaded by tormenting nightmares which woke whoever was with her and commonly resulted in many hours of tears. There were too many sleepless nights for Elliot and Casey as they tried to convince their friend that she was completely safe. The few times she had gotten full nights of sleep were nights when she had gone so long without real rest that she collapsed from utter exhaustion. Those evenings were blessings in disguise – moments when Novak and Stabler could drop their strong facades and shed tears of pain and loss. Never before had so many people been so worried about this one person.

Olivia had been back at work for the past month, but she wouldn't walk into an interrogation without Elliot by her side. She often had to excuse herself in the middle of an interview. Exceptions were being made, but at times Elliot wanted to trade her in for a new partner. Watching her back was tedious, and while he was willing to give her the support she needed to regain her comfort in the line of duty, he had a job to do too. She was jeopardizing his performance. Still, Stabler would never tell her that, he would never let her know, and he was determined that, with the right assistance, his partner would be back to her typical standard in no time.

The next day would be the beginning of the trial against Macedo. Benson had been waiting for that event, building up to it, for over a month. She had been trying to convince herself that testifying and admitting that she was raped to a room full of people wouldn't kill her. Elliot would be there. Casey would be there. Assistant District Attorney Proctor would be prosecuting. And while she was ready with the facts and knew to tell her story, the special victims detective was scared of breaking. For some reason, Benson was convinced she couldn't do it. That scared her.

Elliot looked up from his desk, watching Olivia intently as she fiddled with a pen between her fingers. He cautiously cleared his throat, hoping to catch her attention. As her brown eyes shot up to look into his brown ones, she relaxed realizing it had only been her partner. For a month, Olivia had been certain Macedo was at every street corner, in every store, and was following her every move. She had refused to go out into public alone, but as long as she had someone next to her, she could manage.

Sighing gently at her frightened demeanor, Stabler spoke up, "It's late. We should go, you have an early morning tomorrow."

Looking away from him, Benson nodded. She ran a hand through her brown locks and rose from her chair slowly, putting the mess of papers that covered her desk back into a file folder. When she verbally responded to her partner, he had to lean in to hear her, "You're taking me to Casey's, right?"

Elliot nodded as he grabbed her hand and led her from the bull pen, offering a slight wave to Munch as they disappeared. They're contact only broke when Stabler was required to walk to the opposite side of the vehicle to enter it. As soon as he was driving, Olivia pulled his hand away from the steering wheel and gently laced her fingers with his. He didn't understand it, but that simple form of contact was more soothing to her than anything else. They pulled up outside of Novak's apartment and Elliot walked Olivia inside. He and Casey exchanged pleasantries as Olivia showered. She took an unusually long time before emerging from the restroom in sweatpants and one of Elliot's hooded sweatshirts. She walked over to her friends, who had taken a seat on the couch, squished into the middle of them and rested her head on Elliot's shoulder.

Gently, he played with her still wet hair as she nuzzled her head into his body, effectively allowing a residual wet spot to form on his yellow dress shirt. Casey flipped through the channels on the television until she settled on some game show, and the three remained together for about an hour. Olivia's eyes were slowly beginning to close and her body was slipping lower. Within minutes, her head was in Elliot's lap and her legs were pulled up to her chest. Stabler continued to play with her hair in a caring manner. Casey glanced at him before speaking in hushed tones, "Why isn't she getting better?"

"I wish I could tell you," he answered solemnly. If the truth were to be told, Olivia had improved. Still, she wasn't back to her old self, and while he knew it would take time, part of him was also aware that she would never be the same Olivia he had once known. Cautiously, he added onto his answer, "She still kisses me - sweet, soft, short kisses. The few times we've even tried to take it further, she's a very willing participant, but I break away because it's obvious her mind is elsewhere. I think she associates me with him."

"Not intentionally," Casey assured him.

Elliot scuffed, "I know, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts. I don't know what to do for her anymore."

"None of us do," the ADA whispered as she stood up. "I'm hitting the sack, stay as long as you'd like, but if you do leave, cover her up for me. I'll check on her periodically and make sure we're at the courthouse on time. You do have to go eventually, though. You need to shower and change."

Letting out a roar of a yawn, Stabler nodded. Novak gently kissed Olivia's forehead and smoothed her hair before offering a peck on Elliot's cheek. She took a moment to stand in her living room, pulling her sweatshirt closer to her thin frame as she struggled with the changes that had occurred in the last month. She then padded off to her bedroom, leaving the door open in order to hear any commotion that was bound to transpire during the night. Turning out her lights, she allowed her eyes to shut and sleep to overtake her.

When Casey woke the next morning, she glanced around, realizing that she had –for the first time in a long time – managed to sleep the entire night through. Knowing that the state her friend had been in the night before was likely to be a sign as to a restful night, she quickly stood up, grabbed a robe, wrapped it tightly around her body, and stepped into the living room. Her brown haired friend was sipping on a cup of what she figured would be tea – it had been Benson's drink of choice lately. Elliot, however, was no where in sight.

Novak silently sat by her friend, "You all right?"

"I woke up a few times during the night, but El was there," Olivia muttered. "Around four, I knew I wouldn't fall back to sleep so I sent him home to get a few hours of rest, shower, and he'll meet us at the courthouse at nine. I've already showered, just need to change. You should get ready."

"That," Casey replied, "is all fine and dandy. You didn't answer my question, though. Are you all right?"

"I'm scared half out of my mind," Benson replied, running her free hand through her hair, "but if I can get through today, then it's all over, right?"

While the ADA desperately wanted to give her friend hope that all she had left to do was see her attacker one final time, Casey knew that was far from the truth. Olivia still had months of healing to go through. The detective still refused food half of the time, often refused to talk about her problems, and the entire squad knew that she was no where near being the woman they had all known. Taking a deep breath, Novak spoke gently, "This part will be. You won't have to see him anymore, but just because the trial will be over, that doesn't mean it just disappears."

"It will," the brown eyed woman answered defiantly. She took another sip of her tea, "I'll make it go away."

Casey didn't say a word, trying to remind herself that Olivia simply had to live in her illusion until she could handle it. Knowing they were in for a long day, she rose from the couch and glanced at her friend, "I'm going to shower."

"Fine."

"If you need anything just holler," Casey reminded Benson.

"Yeah."

Feeling a bit defeated, Novak took a warm shower. When she emerged from the bathroom with straight, dry hair and a fuzzy robe enveloping her, she noted that Olivia was dressed in a professional black suit with a light blue sweater beneath it. She smiled at her friend who shrugged.

Casey sighed at Olivia's indifference, "I'll change and then we should leave."

"Whenever you're ready," Benson muttered.

Novak changed in record speed and the two left the house. The journey to the courthouse was silent. As they sat on a bench outside of the doors, Elliot slowly approached them. He looked exhausted, but that didn't stop him from gently kissing his girlfriend's cheek. She flinched away, but grabbed his hand nonetheless. Elliot glanced at Casey, silently asking for a status update. The ADA spoke cautiously, "Opening arguments have started; Olivia's the second witness."

"Who's first," Elliot questioned.

Casey motioned to a young woman with red hair standing alone and spoke in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "The other victim."

Olivia pulled back and rested against the back of the bench as she noticed the other woman. Her right wrist was still encased in a molded cast and the look of fear that crossed the red-haired woman's slender face brought a wave of guilt upon the female detective. She gently pulled her hand from Elliot's larger one and looked down at him, "I'll be back."

He nodded, but it went without being seen as walked to the other woman. Slowly, Benson spoke, "I'm sorry."

The woman jumped, "Who are you?"

"Olivia Benson," she outstretched her hand in a basic greeting. "The reason you were...well," the sentence trailed off.

"Oh," the red head woman muttered, accepting the greeting with a firm grasp. "Lisa Lassen. This wasn't your fault, you know."

Benson offered a gentle smile and shrugged, "Look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." The detective took a moment to breathe before continuing, "I also want you to know that I think it's amazing that you reported it. Thank you for getting him off of the streets. Thanks for being the woman that was able to stop him."

Pulling the fragile detective into a gentle embrace, Lisa whispered into her ear, "Thank you for trying. I know it's hard to believe, but thanks to your report, he'll be in there twice as long. It may not seem like much to you, but it means the world to me."

The two pulled away as a bailiff stuck his head out of the door and called for Lassen to enter the room. Olivia nodded to her as she walked away. Slowly, the brown haired detective made her way back to the bench and sat back down. Elliot wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "I take it that was helpful."

Olivia nodded, "Very."

The three sat in silence until Lassen was escorted out of the room. Her face was paler than when she had entered and her entire demeanor had changed in the hour and a half she had spent behind those doors. The bailiff's head appeared once more, "Detective Olivia Benson."

Standing with Elliot's help, Olivia nodded shortly, "That would be me."

Casey hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, "Tell the truth, don't look at him, and, if you have to, look at me and tell me. We'll be in there, Fin, Munch, and Cragen are already there, and you cannot be hurt. You'll do great."

Elliot pulled her into a loving embrace, nothing more needing to be said. As she broke away, the bailiff cleared his throat. Novak offered a glare that could kill and Olivia followed him. He escorted her to the front and she was sworn in. She took a seat and looked directly at ADA Proctor, whose eyes spoke volumes in an attempt to promise her safety. Benson offered another nod and the questioning began.

He established her location on the night of the attack. He prompted for a retelling of the entire story, asking questions for clarity when need be. He saw her eyes locked with Novak's, but made no effort to distract the contact, knowing it was the only way she would finish her testimony. As she finished her story, Proctor nodded, proud of her ability to maintain her composure. It was obvious that she was struggling, but she had managed to get through the story.

"Detective Benson, did you consent to having sexual intercourse, orally or vaginally, with Mr. Macedo that night?"

"No," she answered confidently.

"Now, were you forced to have sexual intercourse by Mr. Macedo that night?"

"Yes," she answered. Her tough exterior was fading away as she stared directly at Casey.

"Did you want to have sex with the defendant?"

A tear escaped from her eye and rolled gently down her cheek. Slowly, she opened her mouth to answer the question, "No."

Casey nodded, trying to silently convey her pride to Olivia. Proctor nodded, muttered his thanks, and took his seat. Trevor Langan, for the defense, jumped up to begin his inquiry. He moved in front of her, posing questions that managed to discredit her story. Benson, though obviously torn between fear and anguish, continued to answer the questions truthfully. Her eyes, however, were slowly moving away from Novak's. While the ADA was a bit alarmed by that, she assumed her friend just needed to look away for a moment.

Benson scanned the jurors, Langan, Elliot, her other coworkers, and, finally, she let her eyes linger on the face of Macedo. She stared, ignoring anything else in the room, as her brown eyes rested on his green ones. She wanted to cry. She yearned to hit, kick, scream, to get away. Yet, she was frozen. Proctor stood up slowly, Trevor stopped in his tracks, and Elliot watched in fear, praying that Olivia would look away, answer the question, and be done with it all.

"Detective Benson," a female voice was calling out to her. She shook her head and looked away, trying to clear all of the memories from her head. She glanced up to see Judge Petrovsky looking at her kindly, "Detective, please answer the question."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, voice barely audible. "Could you repeat the question?"

"You'll need to speak up," the judge ordered.

"Please repeat the question," the detective repeated, her voice only a bit louder than it had been when she had made her prior comment.

Trevor nodded, "Detective, did you, at any time in the night, imply in any way that you may be interested in having sexual relations with my client?"

Olivia thought for a moment, "I may have." Trevor nodded, ready to seat himself, but she spoke again, her voice shaking and eyes swimming with pools of tears, "But that did not give your client the right to force me to have sex after I said no. I've never fought harder in my life to stop something, Counselor, and that should have been enough to stop him."

Langan bowed his head, knowing full well that the witness was correct. He thanked Benson and the court before sitting down. Petrovsky dismissed the witness and Olivia walked as quickly as she could from the room. Elliot and Casey followed as the door shut. They saw her find a corner, stand there for a moment, and then sink to the floor, hugging her knees to chest, head down, and shaking.

As a team, the two approached her. Elliot knelt before her as Casey stood behind him. He put his hands on his knees and whispered soothing words as Olivia struggled to calm herself. She looked up, tears still swimming in her eyes that she was refusing to let fall. Elliot's heart broke as she whispered to him, "I can't do it anymore."

"Can't do what," he questioned.

Olivia replied monotonously, "I can't keep pretending that it never happened."

Casey sighed softly, knowing the day would come when her best friend finally broke. Elliot hung his head, not knowing what to say. Casey pulled Olivia into a standing position and started to walk out of the courthouse, Elliot followed close behind. They finally stopped at a bench in a park across the street. Novak lowered Benson onto the bench and let her cry. She shrugged away all human contact.

Her friends watched and waited, knowing that there was nothing more they could do until Olivia would let someone fix her.

A/N: HORRIBLE. I know. But I got something out. Please review…please let me know what you think…otherwise, I will have no motivation to finish this.