"Elizabeth Childs, I swear to the high mother heavens if I catch you sneaking in late again, the only thing you'll be touching for the entire month is yourself"
"But Ali - ", Beth whined.
"I'm sorry, Beth. But I don't see the point in engaging in physical intimacy WHEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN PHYSICALLY HERE ANYMORE"
"But I - ", Beth opened her mouth to speak. One month was waaaaaay too long.
But the look Alison gave her made her think it was a better idea to just shut up. She was giving Beth that look. That 'my-way-or-highway' look. That 'I'm-currently-in-a-particular-hormonal-stage-of-my-menstrual-cycle' look. And Brave Beth knew better than to further test Angry Ali.
"And take off your shoes", Alison huffed from behind her shoulder.
Beth glanced at the time on her phone.
03:04. Shit.
Beth closed her eyes and slowly exhaled.
Detective Elizabeth Childs, you've been sneaking up on psychos, crackheads, and shitheads for almost your entire life. You can certainly do this again at home.
"Get your ninja on, Childs. Get your ninja on. Swift and silent. I got this", Beth whispered to herself, inhaling and exhaling with each chant, mentally prepping herself for the task ahead.
"I got this. I got this. I FUCKING GOT THIS", Beth whisper-shouted to herself at the door and wrenched her keys from her pocket, a sudden burst of energy rising within her from her own pep-talk.
As she turned the key into the lock, she simultaneously pushed ever so slowly on the handle, trying to avoid even the smallest of sounds.
"I'm a ninja. I'm a fucking ninja. I can do this", Beth continued whispering to herself.
When Beth feels her hand reaching the limit of the handle, she lets out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and pushed the door open without a sound.
"And we have it ladies and gentlemen, score for Childs and zero for Hendrix. Woooo!", Beth whisper-cheered in the darkness and pumped her fist victoriously in the air.
Beth was so caught up in her little celebration, she didn't hear the sound of a throat clearing and neither did she hear the sound of the lights suddenly being switched on.
The sudden change in light caused Beth to instinctively reach out to grab onto the nearest thing to use as a weapon - which in this case was a vase made by Alison from one of her pottery classes. But Beth misjudged her grasp and sent the vase flying into the air instead.
"Shit, not Ali's shit", Beth, still in her whispering mode whisper-shouted as she lunged forward clumsily to catch the flying vase, spilling water and flowers all over the floor.
Oh, dear fuck.
"Hello, Elizabeth", a voice came from behind her. Through gritted teeth.
Shitshitshitshitshitshit.
"Oh, hi, Ali", Beth flashed Alison the most innocent smile she could muster. It had always helped her when she was in shitspots with teachers and colleagues. IT BETTER WORK THIS TIME.
Alison had her eyes closed, jaw clenched and was visibly twitching to contain her anger. Breath in. Breath out, Hendrix… You love Beth Childs. You love that bumbling, fumbling nitwit. You really do… Even though she's back late for the sixth time in two weeks, even though she actually thought that she could sneak in at night while whispering - not so quietly, might I add - something about being a fudging ninja, even though she has just created a dicken's of a wet mess all over the floor, even though she just called the vase that she slaved her butt off to make 'shit'…
But what was really making Alison Hendrix's blood boil were the few words that couldn't stop ringing in her ears: "… score for Childs and zero for Hendrix…". Zero? The nerve…
Alison clenched her fists trying to channel all that anger building in her to somewhere else before she ripped Beth's Childs' 'ninja' head off. Fudge, I hate yoga.
Beth, for a second, was stunned in her place, gaping at a twitching Alison whom had her eyes closed and was silently muttering underneath her breath. Beth knew she had to act fast if she wanted to avoid a potential dry spell for a month. She hurriedly placed the vase back on the table, wiped her hands on her jeans before making her way to Alison and held Alison's hands in hers, ignoring the way Alison was shooting daggers from her eyes as Beth interrupted whatever violent-yet-cathartic thoughts that were going on in Alison's head.
"Hey, what are you doing up awake? You shouldn't be awake at this hour. You've got coaching at 9 am, remember? Then, theatre rehearsals afterward for the whole day. Like, Steel Magnolia's is in three days, Ali, you really should be getting enough rest for the big night"
"Elizabeth - ", Alison articulated slowly… and dangerously. And Beth knew she had to step up her game.
"Oh my god, did you cut your hair?"
"Don't you dare change the - excuse me?", Alison is caught off-guard and halts the unleashing of her wrath as Beth steps forward to examine a few strands of Alison's bangs.
"You cut your hair. Your hair used to be this long", Beth lightly puts a finger near Alison's forehead where the length of her hair used to be, "And now it's over here", Beth finishes as she gently traces a finger underneath Alison's bangs, "Just the perfect length".
"Y-you noticed?", Alison suddenly feels self-conscious and a hand immediately goes up to her neck while another flicks at her hair on her back. Because yes, she actually did went to cut her bangs today because they had grown slightly too long for Alison's liking and it had been bothering her for several days. She just needed a teeny, tiny trim and it would be perfect. Considering the fact that she only needed a little cut, she could have done it herself, but Alison didn't want her hair to look like it was sheared off like a sheep, so she went to -
"Did Jennifer do this for you? It's amazing. Your bangs are so even…", Beth breaths in awe while combing Alison's soft bangs with her fingers and Alison's suddenly blushing.
"Y-yes, I made sure another hairdresser came over to assess the straightness of the cut. D-do you like it?", Alison is trying to keep her composure but it really was hard when Beth was standing so close to her and looking at her with that look in her eyes. The look that made Alison's knees weak and caused her heart to beat faster.
"I love it", Beth gently pulled Alison closer to her and planted a kiss on her forehead before pulling back.
"You'll be the cutest Annelle the audience has ever seen", Beth finished with that smile of hers again, praying desperately it would save her ass, "Now, lets get you back to bed okay. You've got a long day tomorrow", Beth said, gently rubbing Alison's arms before walking her towards the bedroom with her arm draped over Alison's shoulders.
"Beth - "
"Ssh, ssh, just sleep, babe. Whatever it is can wait till tomorrow, okay?", Beth shushed Alison as she guided Alison to the bed and tucked her in.
"And what about you?"
"I-uh… I need to tinkle and uh… change… ", Beth gestured wildly to her body, "...to stuff", Beth sputtered as she quickly left the room to clean up the mess she made with Alison's vase. The last thing she needed was for Alison to stumble upon it the next morning, remember Beth's chain of fuck-ups and cast her into a month-long dry spell.
After finally cleaning up the mess and getting ready for bed, Beth slowly crept into bed. She looked at Alison's sleeping form and noticed that the moonlight shone at just the perfect angle on her face. A smile made it's way to Beth's lips and she tenderly placed a kiss on Alison's head before snuggling up to her.
"Beth?"
"Yes, Ali", Beth mumbled from Alison's hair.
"You're still sleeping on the couch tomorrow"
"What? Nooooo…", Beth groaned.
"And that's for calling my vase 'shit'"
'Zero for Hendrix?' Take that, Childs.