I wrote this because I didn't write anything else, everyone plz forgive me I am awful and I need more sleep.
This is somewhat weird because idk I like to write about how people interact in different situations, and I rly hope it turned out ok but I feel like I'm writing like an eight y/o again and it kinda pisses me off. It's been too long and I've neglected writing and only moan about not having any good fanfics to read so if anyone knows about any fan fics I'm down for suggestions.
I have like a TON of new fics I've started but can't get my stinky butt to continue so if anyone is down for some slightly cool ideas PM me and I'll give some stuff to write, srsly I can talk ideas all day long and it'll be so fucking cool if anyone of you amazing people is up for requests for your personal pleasure.
Thank you.

"Are you sure you want to do this Ichigo?" Shouhei asked me again and again.
"YES. I AM. Okay? We're totally cool now." I assure the frantic raven as we are packing.
Me, Shouhei, Renji and my Ex; Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez are going on a trip to Holland for a month. Now I know what you're thinking... Ichigo, you don't go on a trip overseas with your Ex of two years! But hush, we were together when we were like seventeen, we are all twenty now, it's been ages, we've already been through the part where we don't talk to each other and all the maybies and what not and now we are totally. Cool. We don't talk like we used to and we aren't that close friends but he is the biggest pothead I know and he's actually really insane and fun to be around. Plus we are all gonna get laid by hot Duch guys so who cares anyway?
Nope, not me.
"Y'know if anything will happe-"
"NOTHING will happen shuu, chill. And stop that it's really annoying. I just finished two years of ass kicking, I was a fucking solider for fuck's sake, let me have my vacation." I roll my eyes exasparated and tired, we weren't been able to sleep the night before and the flight is at four AM. So I'm extremely pissy, sue me.
We heard someone honking outside of my apartment and we zipped up our bags after checking that we do have everything.
"Renji and Rukia are here." I heared my quiet friend murmur, and we headed out the door.
"Where's Grimmjow?" I ask confused.
A tattooed eyebrow rose as a cheeky smirk creeped onto the redheaded bastard that I somehow call my friend.
"why, you miss him?" he cooed at me.
"Oh my GOD Ren, what the fuck is wrong with everyone?" I scream to heavens beyond the car's roof.
Renji cackled and Shouhei winced uncomfortably.
"haha chill Ichi, I'm kidding. He said he'll meet us at the airport."
"thank you for answering, was that so fucking hard?" I muttered and crossed my arms.
Rukia smacked Renji from the drivers seat and Renji exclaimed "Ow! What was that for?"
She turned big tired purple eyes at him and scolded dangerously "for being an idiot."
I dozed off and I was nudged awake by Shouhei "we're here." he announced.
We dragged our luggage and thanked Rukia for driving us to the airport in the middle of the night, she waved tiredly and hugged us goodbye, telling us to have fun and not do unspeakable things. Sometimes I think that she's the most normal person I know.
"Oi! There you are." we heard a familiar voice and found Grimmjow in the mass of extremely tense and tired human beings. "Grimmjow, my man! This'll be amazing!" Ren greeted him with a fist bump. The blue haired man flashed his shark grin and laughed.
"yo Shuu, you excited?" he asked the raven and he laughed and agreed.
Then it was my turn, his head tilted sideways just a notch and he smirked "you didn't sleep did you?" Funny thing, when someone knows whats going on with you just by looking, it's a thing that happens when you are close with someone for a long period of time. But it's normal. I huff and give a smirk back.
"yeah, I'm fucking excited."
"haha me too, I was gonna buy a ton of liquor from the duty free and pass out on the plane. Wanna join me?" he offered.
Renji jumped "Oh my god, right! Let's get in quick so we can buy tons of stuff!
After we gave away our luggage and ran around the stores, taking samples of whatever it is the workers were trying to sell us, Renji actually tried on a face mask and we practically almost died laughing, we bought some alcohol and drank it all, then walked around pretty tipsy, this trip is going to be insane and we haven't even boarded the plane yet. When we did though, we were totally out. We were sleeping so deeply we didn't even notice Shouhei getting up to hurl. I mean, I didnt, since I sat next to him and Grimmjow, Ren got stuck with an old lady that made his shoulder her pillow and he made her head his. We took several pictures.

We were feeling pretty sluggish as we were standing at the bus stop, waiting for a bus to our hotel.
"what? Why do I have a phone number in my pocket?" Renji muttered as he rubbed his eyes.
We were holding our laughter because we were around so many people. Then Grimmjow snaked his hand in his backpack and retrieved a fat looking joint, we were all looking at him bug-eyed.
"when did you get this?" I asked tentatively.
He lit up and shrugged "from home." as if it were oh so obvious.
"Holy shit! How did you get this past security?!" we all screeched in usion.
Thick smoke rolled out of thin lips as they curled into that grin of his "I've got my ways." "you are insane, give me some." I let it be because he didn't get caught, but this could have been serious. I puffed the drug and passed it to Shuu who was talking with Renji about random checks at airports.
The bus came after we finished so we sat quietly and watched the scenery, everything was so green and lakey, there were geese everywhere. And then, we finally arrived in Amsterdam. Everywhere was so beautiful and colorful. The apartment complexes thin, and Pressed together making that famous scenery that you see in postcards, the streets were divided by rivers that had white swans and ducks loitering about. It was exciting.
"I can't believe we're here." we heard Shouhei say in a raspy voice.
"yeah..." I said quietly as I watched all the beautiful buildings and shops.
The first few days we were simply walking around, getting to know the place, watching the scenery and getting lost, there were so many things to see and taste and do we walked all day and got in weird places, there was one place where you get in and actors play out how amsterdam came to be, it was supposed to be spooky but we were all so high we couldn't stop laughing, the actors were speaking in English first and then Duch, I almost fell over Shuu when we were in a makeshift boat when we got to the part where pirates lived there. In times where we got the munchies we went to one of the many pancake shops that were around, seems like Amsterdam truly understood how to do tourism. "Ichigo if you'll keep eating like that you'll get fat." Renji commented snarkily as I showeled fluffy blueberry goodness into my mouth.
I was about to scoff and tell him to mind his goddamn business but someone spoke before me "ha, no way he's gonna get fat from that, he could eat a truck full of this shit and not gain a pound."
Renji raised a brow "you're full of shit jeagerjauez." he laughed.
Grimmjow swallowed his mouthful of strawberry pancakes and pointed his fork at him "I'm serious, who d'you think used to feed this monster? He's like fucking Kirby." Everyone started to laugh and I rolled my eyes "oh, ha ha." I then turned to the blue haired man "you're just jealous that I have a metabolism of a real man." I smirked in triumph.
Blue eyes turned to me and crinkled at the edges as he lifted his hand to my face "hey real man, y'got some maple syrup on your manly face." he mocked and wiped at my cheek with his tumb, making Shouhei and Renji hold onto their stomaches and me watch as he brought his thumb to his lips to suck the sticky topping off. I blushed and averted my gaze, pissed off.
"hey guys, let's play a game" Renji suddenly leaned in and spoke with a mischievous grin on his face.
"what do you have in mind Billy?" Grimmjow raised his brow as we all listened carefully.
Russet eyes rolled at the unintentional reference and he widened his smirk "tonight, let's go to that huge club next to the weird condom shop, and the last one to get laid, or the person that does not get laid will have to walk the next day in an outfit of our choosing." he wiggled his brows.
"w-what?! No way!" Shouhei exclaimed, he got taken aback by the punishment, being the pretty shy person that he is.
I chuckle and put my hand on his shoulder "aww come on Shuu! It'll be fun! When's the last time you got laid anyway?"
At that, he blushed and glanced away, it made me and Grimmjow coo over him and chuckle. But all Renji did, surprisingly, was ignore us in favor of finishing his pancakes.
We went back to our hotel, it was more like a motel, small and cramped but we each got his own room so we could bring our dates for the night if we wanted to. Renji just thinks of everything dosent he?
As I was getting ready I heared a knock on my door "hey Ichi, are you decent?" My eyes rolled at the stupid question and I shouted a "yeah, come in." as I was buttoning my shirt, Grimmjow walked in and stopped when he saw me. He didn't say anything and it made me feel uncomfortable so I huffed at him "what? It there something on my face again?"
Blue eyes blinked and he chuckled "nah, sorry. You look good." he offered with a smile.
"I know." I smirked back proudly, this was my favorite shirt after all.
He chuckled and folded his arms "always so modest." "I'm sorry, did you need anything?" I ask as I pull on my shoes.
"yeah, I need you to tie my tie for me." he waved a black silky material in front of me.
My eyes followed the movement and I sighed with a smile "after all this time you still don't know how to do it?" I shake my head.
His shoulders lifted with a shrung "well you sorta taught me how to do it but I make it look bad, you're the master tie person around here." I stood up and walked over to him "welp, can't say it isn't true." He handed me the long cloth and I needed to stand on my toes to bring it around his neck "don't move around" I scold him and glance upwards. His blue eyes were locked on me, they were pink where they should have been white and he took a long time to reasure me.
"I won't." I averted my eyes back to the task, suddenly feeling a little awkward by his gaze. As I was finishing up and adjusting the collar over the knot the door flew open with Renji yelling.
"ARE YOU FUCKING RE-" he froze as he saw us, now I know it didn't look good - Grimmjow was standing with his back to the door and I was standing pretty close to Grimmjow, also I was holding the collar of his shirt.
"-ady..." Me and Grimmjow looked at him, then at each other, I stepped away, averting my blushing face from the both of them and I heard Grimmjow calm the situation.
"the fuck crawled up your ass Abari?" he laughed at him It took Renji a second to collect himself and he coughed gingerly "uh, wha- what were you doing?" he inquired.
"I was tying his-"
"-he was tying my tie." We both cut each other off, then exchanged glances, knowing somehow we made it sound like it was something else we were caught doing.
"...oh, okay. Are you guys ready yet?" he changed the subject.
"yeah, let me get my coat."

We stood in line and hugged our coats tighter against our bodies, it's maybe august by it's still freezing cold in the evening here.
"remember the bet!" Renji said, smirking at us with challenge.
"don't worry Ren, we have charm, unlike you." Grimmjow teased and made Shuu chuckle.
"oh, ha ha, we'll see about that smurf boy." "I need to see some ID." the bouncer asked us and we showed him our passports.
As we got in we saw a ton of bodies grinding and dancing against each other, and at the back there were booths you could sit in and drink, we had our things put away for now and I called over "hey guys, I'm gonna go to the bar, anyone want something?" Renji wanted a beer and I went to get some whiskey for myself, I needed to wait a pretty long time, but I didn't really mind, the place was packed, so it's a given. The bartender who was a cute girl with blonde hair and multiple tattoos winked at me as I payed and gave her a smile in return, it made me feel a little confident knowing I looked good. I got this bet in the bag, I smirk evilly.
"oh, shit!" Someone bumped into me as I was crossing the sea of dancing people and my drink was knocked over and spillt on my shirt. My fucking favorite shirt.
"what the fuck, man!" I exclaim angirly at the guy who didn't look where he was going. Honestly I was taken aback by his appearance, he was pale, and his hair was white, and his fucking eyes were black on gold.
"oh, are you okay? I'm really sorry it was my bad!" he fussed over me, I could bearly hear him over the loud music.
Suddenly I noticed that I was gaping at him and quickly composed myself, sighing.
"no, no I'm fine. It's okay." I hold the empty glasses away from my body so he could see that except for my soaked shirt, I'm perfectly fine.
Gold irises looked over me and he gave an apologetic smile, he was so unique, his hair practicay shone in the flashing lights and made him look almost like a ghost.
"hey, let me buy you those drinks, I have a booth reserved and I know the manager." he offered after rubbing at his neck.
My mouth opened and closed, I was surprised by the offer "u-uh nah, it's fine, really." I chuckle.
That made him smirk playfully, as if he saw something he liked and he took the glasses out of my hands to the bar and circled my waist.
"come on, my treat." he winked and gently nudged me with him.
"I'm actually here with my friends." He shrugged "tell them to come along, we have lots of room."
I went with him and called everyone with me, we sat at the biggest booth, and a waitress took our order. I learned that my host was called Shiro and he was sitting with a lot of other people, one had pink hair and silver glasses, he was puffing on a neon green bong, another had silver short hair and a mean look on his face and the last one had a red mohak and was sipping on some drink that was a bright blue color.
"this is the gang; Szayel, Bazz and Kensei. These are Grimmjow, Ichigo, Renji and Shouhei. Make yourselves at home guys." he offered us a seat.
"thanks man, this place is awesome." Grimmjow bumped fists with Shiro and we all sat down.
"you wanna hit?" the pink haired guy asked Grimmjow with a choked voice, still holding the smoke down.
He smirked and nodded, we drank and smoked and talked.
"so did you all come here together?" Bazz asked us as he passed a blunt to Shiro.
"yeah, did you all meet here?" Renji indulged him.
The mohak boy nodded and smirked "yeah, we're from all over the place actually. We kinda met here and started to hang out."
"really? Where are you from?" Ren asked.
Bazz took a sip and answered "I'm from belgum, where did you come from?" "we're all from japan." Shiro turned to me "Japan huh? That's a pretty long way." smoke curled out of his pale lips and he offered me a puff.
I took it and nodded "yeah, but it was okay, we were passed out for the most of it."
"the ol'get-drunk-before-you-get-on trick?"
I opened my mouth "how did you know? Is that actually a thing?" I laughed.
He chuckled and nodded "believe it or not. Why, who was the mastermind of your friends?"
I passed off the blunt and nodded in Grimmjow's direction, who was talking with the pink haired guy with a smile. Shiro raised a white brow and looked at me.
"that your boyfriend?" he asked with a tilt of his head.
I blinked and waved my hand in a dismissive manner "what? No, he's not." I chuckled.
Gold eyes watched me for a moment longer and I felt like I needed to explain.
"he's my ex." "oh..." he nodded as if something clicked in the situation, then he looked back at me again "you want me to tell Szayel to back off?" I made a face and puffed a "no, no. We're totally cool, it's fine."
"if you say so."
I was extremely high and embarrassed, this was going so fucking well too. Shiro laughed at something the mohak guy said and Renji teased Shouhei about something that made him blush when he noticed the arm around him from the silver haired guy. Everyone was having fun, so why I fucking can't pull my shit together?
"so where are all of you from?" I tried to change the subject and caught Shiros attention again.
"well, Bazz is from Belgum like he said, Kensei over there is from Russia and Szayel is the only local one." he explained.
"wow that's cool that you guys met somehow." He nodded with a smile as he lit up another spliff "yeah, I know. These guys are seriously crazy fun, I'm glad I met them here."
"and where are you from?" I leaned closer as I was passed a blunt.
He puffed and said somewhat sheepishly "I'm from Israel."
"what?! No way, how is it like to live there?" I suddenly got curious.
"for the most part, hot." he smirked.
"I bet, isn't Israel like, a dessert or something?" An eerie laugh escaped Shiro and he shook his head "haha, next you're gonna ask if I have a camel Ichigo? What about you, did Godzilla visit lately?" I blushed " ha ha very funny."I gave him a soft punch.
"no, I'm just kidding, sorry."
I shrugged "s'fine, anyway, what did you do before you came here?"
"I was a solider." he passed me the spliff "try this, it's good shit."
"no shit, so was I." we switched drugs and got immersed in a conversation about army life. It was pretty cool hearing about an army in another place, Shiro told me that over there everyone gets recruited after high school, and you get payed like shit. We talked about things we saw and it honestly got pretty deep.
"yeah, I had a friend that got killed in that mission."
"shit man, I know how you feel." I comfort him.
White brows pulled in to form a hard scowl as he looked at nothing at particular, and I knew that the wound is still fresh. Half of the guys went over to tha dance floor and we were mostly left alone. I scooted closer and cupped his face so he would look at me.
"hey, it's okay." I whispered against his lips and kissed him.
My head was spinning and everything felt so good, I was drunk and high and Shiro's lips felt hot on mine. I wanted more of him, and slowly I found myself straddling his middle.
"hey..." Shiro breathed out as I was kissing his neck "you sure you wanna do this?"
I sat up and looked at him trough hooded eyes "yeah, why?"
Gold irises glanced away to where Grimmjow was dancing with everyone else and he huffed "shit, it's not like I don't want to, you're fucking hot Ichigo" he smirked at me " but its just that this situation you got yourself into isn't the healthiest."
I snorted "don't I know it..." I mutter "but right now, I really want to fuck you." I ground myself on him and he groaned.
"wanna get out of here then?"

I woke up in fluffy sheets, with the sunlight sipping into the room through a tall, thin window. My muscles were sore and I remembered last night. I went back to Shiro's apartment, we fucked our way into the bedroom and then continued off on these white sheets. I turned my head to the other side of the bed and found a cool pillow and no body heat. My arms tensed as I rose up to my elbows and yawned. Somehow I found my boxers and jeans and I went out of the room.
"hey, you're up." I saw my nightly companion greet me in the kitchen.
"yeah. hey, do you know where's my shirt?" I ask with my eyes slitted, still trying to adjust to the lighting of the day time.
Gold on black eyes searched the room and he scratched his head, shaking snow white strands "uh... Shit ichigo, I don't know where we tossed it." he chuckled sheepishly.
I snorted "thats my favorite shirt Shiro, you can't just spill drinks on it and then loose it." I scold jokingly.
Pale hands raised in mock surrender "sorry, let me fix us some breakfast and then I'll help you find it."
"oh my god, food sounds perfect right now." I moan and sit at an island, facing the bubbling pan on the stove "what are you making?"
He added some spices and spoke without looking at me "it's a thing from back home, it's called 'shakshuka'."
I snorted "that's a fucking weird name."
He gave that eerie chuckle again and placed some plates in front of me "it's eggs with tomato sauce and some cheese and other things you can put in it. I hope you like spinach."
"I'm cool with spinach." I shrug.
"good." he smiled as he put everything for us to eat and some black coffee to drink.
We ate blissfully and laughed at stories we had to tell, somehow I was really comfortable with this person that I got to know only yesterday. We were on the exact same page, and it was refreshing to hear his different take on things.
"so Ichigo, What are you gonna do about that blue haired guy?" I almost chocked on my coffee and wrestled it down my throat, coughing I shrieked "what the fuck Shiro?!"
He handed me some water while poorly hiding his amusement and shrugged "listen, it's actually perfectly normal that you get your feelings all jumbled up when you're suddenly really close to a former lover, you just need to remember why you guys broke it off. Maybe the reason is enough to make you think twice before you look at them like you want them back."
I sigh and lean back on my chair "the reason we broke it off was really unclear... It was just like, we slowly stopped talking as much, and every time we did, it would end up in a fight. He was in a bad place and I didn't know because I was just recruited."
He nodded as he sipped his coffee "I get it, but now you guys are on vacation trying to get laid and this is kind of awkward for you..."
"oh man, no, this isn't like that!" I huff and he gives me a look of question.
"come on, I bet if next time I'll see him he wouldn't act so friendly with me, I mean, he watched us make out for like a whole minute. I think you just stored your emotions away and now they're back full force because you're in a happy place again."
"he watched us make out?" I blurted in astonishment.
"Ichigo..." he rolled his strange eyes at me, I pressed my lips together and tried to hide my blush "I'm just saying you need to be with someone in the bad and the good, not only when everything's happy and exciting."
"so..."
"-SO, he may be interested in getting with you just because it's fun and feels right because you used to feel right. It can all change when you get back. I don't want you to get hurt Ichigo, you're an awesome guy and the sex was amazing." he said with a smile "he dosen't deserve sex like that if it's only convenient for him." a pale finger pointed at me in warning.
"how are we not best friends? Where have you been all my life?" I hold his hand between mine and whimper as he laughed.
After we ate, I went to get my phone, I got thirty unread messages and seventeen missed called, I cursed under my breath and called Renji.
"Hey guys, he answered! Ichigo! Where the fuck have you been?! Why didn't you answer your phone you fucking asshole!"
I sighed "sorry sorry, I'm at Shiro's place, I just woke up." I lied. Feeling bad for forgetting to insure that I'm still alive.
"Ichigo, found your shirt!" I heared the albino call from the living room.
"are you okay?" Renji asked, I heard worry in his voice and felt a pang of guilt drum at my chest.
"I'm more than okay, don't worry. Where are you guys?" I caught my shirt as Shiro threw it at me.
"we're walking around, we wanted to go to the sex museum. Can you meet us there?" "yeah, no problem. Sorry for making you worry." I hung up.
I sniffed at the material in my hands and scrunched up my nose in disgust at the strong smell of liquor weed and sweat.
"you wanna take a shirt from me as a token of my apology for ruining and loosing your shirt?" he offered with a chuckle as he watched me.
"I mean, it's the least you could do." I shrug.
He snorted "come on asshole."

I was sitting in a trolly on my way to meet my friends, Shiro gave me directions and his number in case I get lost, or need some advice, or need to get laid. Which is pretty handy if you ask me. It's a good thing I had a bag with me so I stuffed my coat and disgusting shirt inside it. When I heard the monotone voice call for my stop I got out and waited at the entrance.
"Ichigo!" I was startled by a tackle from the side.
"whoa! Easy there tiger, I'm all sore." I snap at him.
"oh ho ho~ looks like you had fun last night." he wiggled his tattooed brows at me.
"Ichigo, we were so worried!" Shuu came up to me and hugged me with a relieved sigh.
"sorry Shuu, I should've called to say I'm okay."
"yeah you should have, we didn't know where you were and we're in a foreign country."
Grimmjows deep voice accused me. He stood in front of me with a deep scowl and his arms crossed "I said I was sorry okay? What the fuck." I exclaim, something about the way he said it made me angry.
"hey, guys, leave it. We're here to have fun." Shouhei came between us and pulled our bodies towards our destination.
We got high and then got in, we laughed heartedly at the huge dicks that were everywhere and the vaginas that made Shouhei uncomfortable, I felt a pull on my arm and I saw that it was Grimmjow, he looked at me with his blue on red eyes and huffed.
"hey, I'm sorry that I snapped at you, that wasn't cool and you didn't deserve it. I was just a little freaked out." he ran his long fingers through sky blue locks.
I gave him a small smile, appreciating the apology and nodded "hey, it's okay, I promise to let you know when I take off."
"we good?" he smiled that smile, full of teeth and cheeky as always.
"don't worry about it." I pat his shoulder.
When we got out it was already after-noon so we searched for a place to eat, we sat down and was happily chewing as the munchies got the best of us. Then I got a message and smiled at the screen.
"who's that?" Renji asked as he saw my face.
"it's Shiro." "ohhhh~ Ichigo has a cruuush." he teased me.
"what is he like? I heared from Kensei that he was a solider too, you probably had a lot to talk about." Shuu asked me.
"shut it Renji, and yeah, he's really chill we talked about tons of stuff and it's interesting to know about his time in the military." I agreed.
"at least you have someone to talk about that stuff with." Grimmjow encouraged.
"yeah yeah, whatever. But did you guys fuck or nah?" Renji leaned over and cut to the chase, motioning at me with him hand.
I smirked and took a spoonful of cream licking it and nodding suggestively.
"ha ha ew Ichigo! Don't be so lewd!" Shouhei laughed and Renji high fived me.
"that means that everyone is safe for now." Grimmjow said "but the battle will go on." he jokingly held up his fist.
"I'm game." I said with a shrug.
"then it's settled, next time we go out, it on." Renji rubbed his hands together.
"by the way." Shouhei looked at me with a raise of his brow "that isn't your shirt is it? You went out with that button up you like so much."
"oh" I looked at it as I pulled on the edge "yeah, it's Shiro's. I took it cause mine reeked of booze and weed. It's cool isn't it?" "aww sharing clothes already, you guys were practically made for each other!" Renji mocked.
I let my eyes roll and I huffed at him "shut up." but smiled anyway cause it's just Ren being an idiot.
"oh my god Renji, you know what I just remembered?" Our raven placed his palm on a tattoed bicep.
"what?"
"that time when came to school with with 's shirt!"
Thin lips widened into an the shape of an O and mine and Grimmjows eyes widened.
"yes! And we followed them to find out what's going on between them and then we almost got caught so I threw a smoke bomb into the teachers lounge so we could escape!"
"and then when the firefighters came they found out about a real fire in the chemistry lab! People were so confused when Loli blew up her project and a second later the door opened and ten firefighters got in and blasted her with the fire extinguisher." They laughed until their eyes watered and Grimmjow chuckled "I've never heared of that!"
I snorted "what? Where was I in that whole mess?" I genuinely asked to know, usually I was always there for those shannigans we used to do in high school.
Renji looked at me and smirked "you were probably busy riding Grimmjows dick." My brows furrowed and I exclaimed "what?!"
And that caused another fit of laughter until Shuu was calm enough to elaborate "well, that was the case, you guys weren't at school cause you were at Grimmjows place again."
"yeah, if that's the case then that's probably what was happening at the time." Grimmjow chuckled after looking like he thought it through.
I turned to snap at the blue haired idiot but then stopped as I realized something "oh my god, I was practically living at your place at the time."
"those were the days, we were young and full of life." Renji sighed jokingly.
My phone buzzed again and I got distracted from the conversation.
"hey guys, you wanna go out again tonight? Shiro texted me about a really awesome party and we're all invited." I announced.
"fuck yes! the last one was awesome!" Renji bounced in his seat.
Shouhei blushed "uh, i-is Kensei gonna be there?"
I nodded "yeah" and winked at him "what about you Grimmjow, you gonna come?" I turned to my right.
Grimmjow was scowling at something and I realized he didn't hear me, I elbowed him gently "Grimm?" His eyes turned to mine quickly and I suddenly realized I called him by the nickname I was using when we dated, I cleared my throat and asked again "are you uh, are you gonna come with?"
He licked his lips and nodded "yeah, yeah sure."
"what, you didn't get along with Szayel?" Shouhei asked him, seeing as how hesitant he was.
Blue eyebrows furrowed "what? No, we didn't hook up. We're just friends. I slept with a girl I met yesterday."
"what? But I thought you guys were totally gonna get it on, it looked like you were hitting it off pretty well." Renji leaned on his elbow with a confused look on his face.
I honestly didn't know how to feel about the slight relief that washed over me as I heared that, I know he slept with someone else but he looked like he was really having a good time with that pretty pink haired pothead. And if he was with him today again, I don't know if I could be in their presence. Oh here I am, making things awkward for myself, in my own head.

The music was blaring through the speakers of the club we were in, I was really intoxicated and was drinking something bright pink that I couldnt taste.
"you okay Ichigo?" I turned my bloodshot eyes to look at gold on black ones, Shiro was smiling at me and I grinned back.
"I feel amazing."
He laughed at me and I giggled "I'll get you some water." he got up and left.
I didn't want him to leave honestly, I was having too much fun and we were just sharing stories about our school days with everyone. I wanted Shiro to touch me again. But someone else sat next to me.
"Grimmjow." I greeted him with a raise of my glass.
"hey." he smiled as he leaned back and made himself comfortable.
"y'know I was thinking about it a lot today." I muttered with a scowl.
He leaned in to hear me "what?"
I raised my gaze to settle on his face, we were really close but I didn't let it distract me "that you were really helping me back in high school, and that you let me stay as much as I needed at your apartment."
He smiled gently and shrugged "you were having trouble with your dad, and who knows better about parent-trouble than yours truly." he joked and puffed on his blunt.
I nodded "yeah, I always forgot that you left when you were fifteen, I really admired that you worked so hard and became independent so young, and you were always there when I needed you."
"it's nothing, really." he leaned back, and so did I.
"why didn't you talk to me after I got recruited?" He paused for a moment so I turned my head to look at him, those blue eyes were hard and didn't turn back at me "is this really the time to talk about this?" he sighed.
I felt hot anger bubble in my stomach and I was about to yell at him but I was cut off.
"here's your water Ichigo, oh, Grimmjow, how are you?" Shiro's pale figure popped out and handed me a water bottle.
"I'm good, thanks. oh, and thanks for the invite." he smirked at him, as if nothing was wrong. they chatted for a while and I got up and went to the balcony with the bottle of water. We were in the VIP lounge that was watching over the dance floor from above, I sipped and watched the colored lights flow over sweaty bodies.
"oh shit I love this song." I heared Shiro's voice next to me and turned to him as he mouthed off the lyrics to 'bitch don't kill my vibe' and danced in the process, I smirked at him. He waved his arm at the crowed below and he looked so beautiful as always. He felt my gaze and he pulled me to him, continuing his previous performance of the song. I couldn't help but laugh as he moved my body with his and he puffed on some lemony scented weed that made me turn to his face to sniff it again.
"want some?" he offered while blowing smoke.
Nodding I leaned in and pulled at it from his hand "I'm so fucking high." I giggled as I felt it go up to my head, making the cloud that formed in there turn even more dense.
Pearly white teeth were presented to me behind plae white lips and I reached my hands up to roam between silky white strands, bringing Shiro to my lips. We kissed softly and then I rested my head on his shoulder.
"I wanna get laid." I moan out.
The shake I felt indicated the mischievous laugher of my friend and he replied with "go get some ass."
I huffed and raised my eyes, I caught sight of blue eyes looking at me, but then they looked away and made me scowl and push away.
"on it." I announced as I made my way downstairs.
My legs dragged me down the stairs full of bodies of people and then I felt a grab "Ichigo, wait."
"what do you want Grimmjow?" I mutter as I peer at him through the smoky air.
Grimmjows blue eyes widened and he let me go, as if he didn't know what to answer to my question. Those eyes went from right to left after locking with mine and he huffed in frustration.
"what the fuck Grimmjo-?" I was cut off by his hand that grabbed me, pulling me harshly through the crowd. I winced and followed him to a quiet corner, where you couldn't hear much of the music and talking. My body fell onto a wall, my mind not clear enough to catch myself but I felt comfortable staying where I was, I huffed and opted to glare at Grimmjow with his illuminated blue hair as he pulled at his blunt and stabbed it on the floor with the sole of his shoe.
"listen..." he started, holding his hands in front of himself "I don't want us to do this right now, all this straing at each other and being pissed off and jealous-"
"-who the fuck is jealous Grimmjow?!" I hissed, pushing off the wall so I could be in his face.
"stop this. I know I fucked up, and I'm paying my dues as I should."
I snickered and fell back again, too intoxicated to calm down "you-haha, you fucked up alright. Pfft uh-huh, quit thoroughly." Strong hands pulled me up before I could descend to the ground, I couldn't stop laughing "I can't believe you're saying this right now, ahaha! After all this fucking time too!"
"I'm sorry..." I heard him mutter between clenched teeth, I just wish that I wasn't buried in his chest so I could see his face as he said those words. "fuck off Grimmjow, I'm too high for this shit." I pushed him away from me and made my way to the bar, leaving him where he was.
"hi, can I get a glass of water please?" I slurred tiredly at the bartender and he nodded.
I sat myself down on the stool and waited, I can't fucking believe Grimmjow, I was so stupid, I tried so hard to show and believe that everything is okay, like he wasn't the douche bag of the century and... Fuck I don't know, my head's too dizzy, and I'm too angry to do anything else. He brought me my water and I sipped catiously, hydrating my body and starting to feel a little more in control.
"hey, is this seat taken?" I heared someone ask me.
My head turned boredly at the man, he was tall and good looking, he smiled politely and waited for my answer.
I smirked "no, go right ahead." maybe this is what I need right now, a good fuck to forget about whatever the fuck just happened.
"my name's Rick." he offered.
"Ichigo." I extended my arm and we shook hands.
"that's a cool name, you're here on vacation?" he smiled and leaned closer so he could hear me over the music.
"yeah, im here to let off some steam."
He chuckled "well, why don't I buy you a drink?" I nodded "I would like that, thanks."
We kept talking about shit that I don't even remember and I sipped on the drink that I was given, I didn't want to black out, I felt plenty drunk already. Rick kept talking and looking at me with his green eyes, etching closer as he went on and on about something or other. I nodded when I felt like it was appropriate and chugged the rest of it.
"whoa there, want another one? You look like you need it." he chuckled again, with his peppy and happy demeanor.
My eyelids blinked hard, trying to get my eyes to focus and somehow it was harder to do than a couple of minutes ago, shit I need to stop drinking this much.
"no, no I'm good, thanks." I assure him.
"oh, okay, I'm gonna go take a leak for a sec, I'll be right back." he got up and left.
I nodded and sagged forward, leaning on my elbows.
"Ichigo, get up." a familiar hand circled my waist.
"tch, what the fuck Grimmjow? 'm talking to someone, I don't wanna go with you." I slur the words.
"Ichigo, come on, let's get you out of here." he leaned to look at my face, he held it and looked at me with his perfect blue eyes.
I jerked away from his hold and spat "get off me." and nearly fall off my seat.
"Ichigo..."
"-NO! Get away from me!" I was hot, and felt panicked, I'm too drunk and Grimmjow is stressing me out. But nevertheless, he held onto me and cupped my cheek so I could focus on him.
"Ichigo, he put a roofie in your drink." Suddenly cold sweat covered my whole skin, and my lip quivered.
"can you stand?" he asked me softly.
I swallowed nothing and nodded.
Everything was moving too fast and I felt lucky that Grimmjow supported my weight and didn't believe me when I said that I was able to walk on my own.
"wait, wait wait." I mutter into his shoulder frantically.
"what? What's wrong?"
"I-I, I'm hot. It's too hot in here, Grimm. I'm gonna melt." I breath out.
"we'll be out in a minute, let's get you some fresh air. It's good he didn't put enough in that drink to knock you out."
My loins were stirring and I wanted to touch myself "shit." I moan quietly, hoping Grimmjow didn't hear me.
We went out, I felt the freezing air blow on my heated face and I held onto Grimmjow again, he walked us to a park not far away and sat us down. I was shaking, I didn't understand what my body wanted but I was given a water bottle and I gulped from it.
"c'mhere." Grimmjow unzipped his coat and offered me a spot under his arm, I leaned into him and breathed heavily.
"Grimm.. Grimm..." I muttered his name into his neck and he just squeezed me closer.
"drink some water, it'll help." he said quietly.
I couldn't help myself, I felt heat in my dick and I was hard. I felt Grimmjows hard stomach through his shirt and snaked my hand beneath it, stroking the skin. he acted like he didn't feel anything and looked away, stroking my shoulder so I won't get cold. I shuddered and ran my hand down, over the bulge of his pants and squeezed.
"Ichigo, you're high. Stop it." he pushed my hand away. But I felt his stiff cock even through his pants so I rubbed on the inside of thigh, breathing into his neck and sucking on his lobe "Grimm, touch me. Please." I took his other hand and locked our fingers. I moaned, feeling my member rub against my jeans, my head was filled with sparks.
"Ichigo, please..." he turned his head to look at me, freeing his neck from my tongue.
My labored breath fogged the air in front of me and I licked my lips "I want you." I leaned in carefully and brushed his lips with mine. As I was about to let go he pulled me forward and kissed me hard, he bit my lips and licked my tongue and buried his fingers in my hair, pressing us together.
We took a cab to our motel and got into my room, I was kissing his neck as he tried to take off my coat and sat me down on the bed, I raised my hips and eagerly took off my pants after toeing off my boots. He was about to stand but I grabbed his hand and pulled his body onto mine, locking him between my legs with my tighs.
We groaned with the friction, my eyes were closed shut but I needed more.
"Ichigo." he breathed out and propped his body on his hands, looking at my panting body beneath him "I gotta go." My hand shot to his waist "at least fuck me first." I started fumbling with his belt.
"no, no. Ichigo, this is wrong, you're high and you just want to get off, but I can't do this." he sat up after pushing my hands away, rubbing at his face tiredly.
"is it because it's me?" I looked up at him from the bed. He didn't answer. "Grimm."
"-stop calling me that, it's messing with my head." he spat.
I sat up and crawled over to him, putting my head on his tigh and looking up at his face, he looked troubled and upset and when his eyes met mine, I gave him a small smile and caressed his cheek.
"look, I think we both need this. I want you really bad right now" I traced his lips "and I know you can give it to me good." I sat up in his lap and muttered against his lips "don't think about it."
My knuckles went white as I clenched at the sheets and growled into the mattress "ugh, fuck yes." Grimmjow was holding my hips and pounding his cock inside me pushing it deeper and deeper. I loved it, my head was spinning just right and my dick was bouncing with every thrust, leaking onto the sweaty material on my bed, my moans were so loud I though everyone was gonna wake up but I was to concentrated on my body jerking forward with every slap of skin.
"Grimmjow, harder, fuck me harder baby." I commanded when he hit my sweet spot, I felt his body lean on my back and teeth biting onto my shoulder.
The sounds of our bodies and his grunts were more than enough to get me over the edge and I came hard with no sound. He followed suite and we both collapsed.
he took some wipes and cleaned us up, I laid there, with my head on his chest breathing hard and listening to his heartbeat slow down little by little. Ha, how nostalgic. I traced my fingers over his abs slowly as I fell asleep.

"but that's not fair!" Renji exclaimed at breakfast.
I winced and Grimmjow huffed "Ren, Ichigo got roofied and I took him back. I don't think you should think about a game when something like that happens."
Ren sighed and leaned back "sorry, I got carried away." "it's fine." I shrugged.
"are you okay Ichigo?" Shouhei put his hand on my shoulder.
I nodded and smiled "yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm just pissed that I didn't noticed he did that."
"it's good that Grimmjow was there." he smiled after sighing in relief.
My eyes glanced over at Grimmjow but he refused to look at me, I bit my lip and nodded "yeah." I smiled.
The whole day, Grimmjow refused to talk to me, he didn't even look my way. It made my heart clench painfully, even when we were higher than the roof we didn't talk, I don't even know if I want us to, what I did was disgusting. "hey, Ichigo, you good?" Renji called me as we sat in a park, watching some ducks float in the small lake as the sun was setting.
"hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm just thinking about ducks." I lied.
"haha me too." he laughed and layed back on the soft grass.
my brows furrowed and I glanced at the peaceful water, rembering this morning. When I woke up, I was still in Grimmjows arms, I remembered what happened, and I froze. What do I do now? I thought in fright and then Grimmjow came to, it was painful, it was just like two years ago. He leaned into me and buried his nose in my hair, stuffing me between his strong pectorals. When he opened his eyes he muttered a quiet "fuck." and rolled away.
"shit." he cursed again and grabbed his pants off the ground.
I sat up slowly, dread pooling in my gut "Grimmjow." I called him.
He stopped zipping his pants up and looked at me, I couldn't read his expression as he watched me naked on the bed. His mouth opened and closed, but then he huffed and ran his hand roughly over his eyes.
"I need to go, sorry." He didn't even bother taking his shoes and shirt, they were left scattered on the ground around my bed.
"Ren, I'm gonna go over to Shiros for a bit, he lives near here, go have fun without me?" I asked as I made up my mind and stood, dusting off my pants.
"ohh going to visit your boyfriend huh? Okay, I'll forgive you this time." he shrugged after leering at me.
I scoffed and shushed him after saying bye to everyone.

"Ichigo? Hi, what are you doing here?" I was greeted by my pale friend at his door.
The dreadful sigh that escaped my lips gave him an answer.
"come on in, I'm trying to make rainbow cocktails." he pulled me and we went to the kitchen.
I chuckled "this is what you're doing in your spare time?"
He shook something in a shaker and smiled "get drunk and be faded, yeah, pretty much." "why can't we get married..." I complained jokingly.
He smirked, lettin air puff out of his nostrils "because you are currently involved with your blue haired ex boyfriend."
I groaned and sunk to the counter, shielding myself with my arms "ugh, I wanna die."
"so, what happened?" he asked as he slid a multi-colored alcoholic beverage towards me.
"I got roofied yesterday." I mutter.
"what?! Are you okay?" he asked enraged.
"yeah, yeah I'm okay. He didn't have the chance to do anything... Because Grimmjow took me away from there." I tasted the cocktail.
Shiro finished another one and placed it in front of himself, waiting for me to continue.
"I was so high, but it wasn't enough to knock me out, I felt horrible and I fucked him."
"shit." he gulped.
"he really took good care of me, but I just pushed him over the edge, I called him by the nickname I used to give him, and kept touching him, acting helpless. I don't know why I fucking did that, he wanted to get away from me but I wouldn't let him. I'm a fucking manipulative asshole." I covered my face with my hands, pressing my fingers to my eyelids.
"Ichigo, you were drugged, and you still like him. I saw that you two had an argument when he followed you downstairs, you should apologize, try to make it better. Explain to him that it wasn't your intention." he lowered himself to my eye level and cooed.
I choked down a chuckle "but that's the problem! I wanted it to happen, it felt so good having my way with him, I knew he'd break if I played my cards right Shiro."
"then you should talk to him about it, he also knew you were drugged and continued on nonetheless, you're not the only one to blame Ichigo."
I sat back, and gulped at the drink again "I dunno..."
Shiro jumped out of his chair and came to me "c'mone, I was about to watch heathers, it's really weird and it'll take your mind off things for now, talk to him when you come back?" he smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.
"sure."

I was making my way back to my room but stopped when I put the key in, my eyes turned and locked on the door on the other side of the hallway; Grimmjow's room. It was late, something like two in the morning, but I thought that if I'm going to do it, might as well do it now. My lungs filled with a shaky breath and my legs took me to the other side. I knocked softly and waited, swallowing the lump in my throat. I knocked again after I got no answer, Shouhei said that they were all back by now and went to sleep, so he's supposed to be inside. But the door is still closed. I sighed and turned away, walking to my room again, I opened the door but I stopped when I heared a lock twisting and turned around.
Grimmjow was looking at me from the dim light of his room, with some sweatpants on, we stood awkwardly like that for a moment or so that felt like forever.
"uh-"
"um-"
We both started and stopped, I let go of the handle of my door and ran my hand through my hair, scowling.
"uh, can... can we... talk?" I ask with a pained expression, afraid he'll reject my proposal.
He breathed in slowly and pushed the air out forcefully, nodding "yeah."
I locked my door again and moved over to him, he stepped away to let me in. His room reeked of weed, he'd been smoking inside, probably turned off the smoke detector. I heared the door close behind me and I faced him, rubbing my neck and looking at my feet.
"I'm sorry." I blurt out "I'm sorry I played with your mind, and took advantage of your kindness yesterday." my arms crossed instinctively across my chest.
He didn't say anything, he walked passed me and took a baggy of purple and rolling paper, making himself a blunt.
"I think I'm going to cut this trip short." he says matter of factly.
It's like my body was hit with a shot of electricity "what?" I sputtered and went to sit next to him at the small desk "why?" I beg.
"I can't be next to you like this, I don't know what I was thinking going in the first place." he lit up.
I clenched my teeth and held his bicep "Grimmjow, this is ridiculous! Don't just bail on everything, I'm sorry, I am!" I tried to get in his line of vision.
Blue irises locked on me "me too, but you see that we can't be near each other, right? Look at what happened."
I shook my head in disagreement "Grimmjow-!" he didn't look at me and pulled heavily from his blunt, I grabbed it from his lips "stop with the fucking drugs! I'm talking to you!" I stood up, knocking my chair backwards.
His jaw pressed angrily and he rose, looking down at me "this isn't the issue here Kurosaki." he spat.
He used to call me that way before, when we hated each other, and it took me by surprise how enraged it made me feel, my hand fisted in his shirt and I growled, stabbing the blunt in the makeshift ashtray "yes it fucking is, if I was clear headed yesterday, we would've never-"
"that's the point! You would have never let me get that close if you were clear!" he shouted, eyes soaked with hurt.
I blinked and understood, looking at him to find some sort of hint that he was talking about something else entirely.
He huffed, and held his hand over the one in the material on his chest "look, you have a great thing going on with Shiro, he's a great guy. I think you should go for it." he smiled pathetically, my eyes were wide and I was still stuck to my place "I'm sorry I did that to you last night, you weren't in your right mind and I took advantage of that. I'm a fuck up, always was. It's okay."
My head shook slowly "Grimm..."
"fuck, stop calling me that will you?" he hung his head and sighed.
I pressed my lips together and let go of his shirt "you need to stop thinking so little of yourself, you are no fuck up." I spit out with rage "you are kind, and caring, and you were my everything - my first kiss, my first love, my home and I never regreted that. Ever. I just can't stand to watch as someone so close to me drags himself down like that." He didn't look at me, his eyes opted to look on the mess of ash and burnt up rolled cigarettes on the table "but we aren't anymore." I huffed a painful laugh and smiled bitterly "I know, I just wish we were. I miss you a lot you know that?" It hurt when I saw the surprise in his eyes when he heared me say that "bet you didn't, did you?" stepping closer, I held his face "you are important to me, very, very much." I smiled at him honestly.
Those pink lips moistened by that tongue that I knew so well and I leaned forward to place a kiss on them. And then another, I pressed our foreheads together and looked at his aquamarine eyes.
"Ichigo, Im sorry I didn't talk to you when you got recruited. I was scared and I felt alone, I didn't think you'd want to be bothered by me."
I shook my head and buried my head in his neck, he circled his arms tightly around me "I really needed to hear your voice sometimes, but it's okay, I understand."
He kissed my head "thank you."
I looked up and hugged him back "it's nothing." I smiled.
After a moment, we said our good byes, and I went back to my room, I showered and then layed in my bed for hours just floating in memrories.

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