Go easy on me, this is my first time writing in a long time!

Please review and let me know what you think :)

I don't own Twilight.

We need to leave. A clean break is best. Do not try to interfere. She needs to live her life. We are not healthy for her

We all heard what he had told us and we followed the orders but it doesn't make things any easier. I can feel it all around me. It's enough to drive me mad. Not only do I have my own guilt to deal with I have everyone else all around me feeling despair and loss. I know they don't blame me, at least not out loud. It could have happened to anyone, but I still blame myself. If I hadn't lost control none of this would have happened. We may be in Alaska trying to start over, again, but it doesn't erase anything. Well, this was just our first place to go to forget everything for a while and visit with other 'family'. Let the storm blow over, so to speak. Then who knows where we would wind up. The plan is to start over new and forget the last year and a half. Like it had never happened. Too bad a vampire can't exactly forget.

My own emotions are driving me up a wall. I swear I feel almost human again. I feel absolutely terrible that I let my instincts get the best of me. I let it get this out of hand. it was me who was the final push to leave Forks and to leave her behind. In a way I feel as if I tore my own family apart. They all loved her like a sister, apart from Rosalie, and a daughter. I was even fond of her. I wasn't sure that I actually liked her or liked her because Alice was close with the girl. Either way it didn't matter and sure as hell don't matter now.

Alice keeps looking at me with this sympathetic expression on her face. She doesn't blame me either but I can tell that she's still saddened that we all had to go. We all left because Edward convinced us it was best. Why the hell didn't he just change the poor girl? It was obvious that the two wanted to be together. She knew to much. If the Volturi ever found out she would have to be changed anyway or be killed. They both had this relationship that even I can't understand to this day. Forced to leave, and then Edward left himself. As if I couldn't feel any worse about this situation.

It probably wouldn't be so bad if I couldn't feel the emotions all around me. It's not often with my 'family' that I feel all of these saddened and heart wrenching feelings. Usually everyones so happy and care free. Sure there's anger and typical problems here and there but nothing right now.

After a few weeks things start to calm down. Everyones still in Alaska, aside from Edward who just checks in every once in a while, and we're enjoying our stay with the Denali coven. No one mentions the girl back in Forks and though I know no ones over it I'd be a fool not to admit that I'm kind of relieved. Maybe leaving was the best thing. Maybe she is happy. I almost want to check to make sure but I don't dare. Alice reminds me here and there when I assume she gets a vision of me going back to Forks that it's not a good idea if she had moved on to interfere now. That's not the biggest issue with me. I'm so afraid of losing my control again. It's a pain in the ass to be the only one in the family who still struggles.

Weeks soon turn into months and the mood around everyone is back to normal. Edward still just checks in every few weeks but that's becoming the new normal. Carlisle and Esme are still hurt by him leaving but at least the silent sobbing from my pretend mother has ceased.

Then it all seems to happen so fast.

"Bella." Alice said out of nowhere. I hadn't even noticed that her eyes went blank and she was still as a statue. We were just standing out in the Alaska wilderness debating on how far out we wanted to hunt.

I suddenly get drenched in a cloud of her emotions. Shock, anger, despair, helplessness. It takes me a few seconds to pull myself together. I tense and prepare for the worst. "What?" I ask, almost afraid of the answer.

Her eyes scrunch together and she finally closes them for a few seconds. She's trying to see more and it's obvious to me she's not getting anything by the frustration that's rolling off of her. She finally sighs and looks at me with eyes that were once lit up but are now empty. "She's gone, she jumped off a cliff."

I just look at her. Disbelief is an understatement to how I feel. After the shock wears off I ask a stupid question i fear I already know the answer to. "Is she alright?"

She just looks at me but her expression gets more helpless and sad. I don't need her to say anything to know. "I didn't see her come up." She finally whispers.

Alice didn't see her dead, so there's still hope in my book. I had been around Alice longer than anyone else and I knew better than anyone that her visions were always subject to change. Perhaps it's something that Bella had planned but doesn't go through with it. Maybe she jumped but lived. How would I be able to live, if that's what I even do, for the next hundred years if I was the final straw that put everything into motion? I start running South.

"Where are you going?" Alice calls out after me. I can still feel her emotions and it lets me know she already knows her answer. Perhaps that's why she doesn't move.

"You know." Is all I reply with. My decisions been made, it should be clear as day to her now. I was almost sure she would be right behind me but I never felt the wind of her running behind me.

I pondered on that as I kept running. What else did she see that she wasn't telling me? I shook off the feeling, turning my focus fully on just getting to Forks. I had to do what I could, even if it was very little.

Then it struck me. Why in the world do I care so much?