Because I can... because I was dreaming about this last night... and because I just have to publish or burst... guess who they all are?!
Jack Meadows switched out the last light and left the office. He had no intention of heading down to the Stag do, which had started at least an hour earlier, tomorrow's wedding was blowing his mind already. He rubbed his forehead and tried to sort it all out straight in his mind.
One bride, one groom, check. The bride's matron of honour is the former lover of the groom, and the bride's girlfriend is giving the bride away to the groom. The bride's girlfriend will be taking care of the bride and groom's baby daughter while the bride and groom take his foster daughter to EuroDisney for their honeymoon, all 72 hours of it. The groom's best man is the arch rival of the groom, and another former lover of the matron of honour, the groom's page boy and ringer bearer is the groom's foster daughter.
The best man's main role is to get the groom to the ceremony, in one piece and able to stand upright unaided, being sufficiently lucid to know what he's saying would be a plus too. The bride, being no fool, has arranged for two of her most trusted fellow officers to follow the groom and the best man and make sure that this happens.
It was all rather confusing, really.