A Definitive Guide to Writing/Posting/Reviewing Charmed Fanfics
Warning: Rather cynical and sarcastic. Don't say I didn't warn you…
· First off, pick a topic (preferably one that hasn't been used before, otherwise known as original, but hey, if it sounds good…). Find something that you're interested in and write it to death. Just don't forget to add the Charmed characters of your choice. Which brings us to point two…
· Selecting the perfect sister/significant-other for the starring role in your Pulitzer Prize winning fic is especially important. If you post something about the pressures of being the oldest sister with Paige/Phoebe with the lead, you'll look pretty stupid. Also, if you happen to post a fic with say, Buffy, as your main character, you'll get some pretty loud nay's from the Charmed fans. I'm sure Buffy is a wonderful show, but come on. This is the Charmed section. Leave Buffy where she belongs: in Sunnydale or wherever the hell she lives.
· Buffy makes for an interesting story, as does the rumor that Shannen may appear on her show, but please, crossovers are NOT tolerated by anyone except the writer… and maybe that thirty year old guy who still lives in his parents basement, but that's another story. Go ahead, write your crossovers, but refrain from posting them. It makes you look really funny.
· DON'T STEAL PEOPLE'S FICS! THAT IS A VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY BAD THING TO DO! cutiephoebe35. 'nuf said.
· When you sit down to write a fic, at least have some semblance of where you want to go with it in mind. Then you won't ramble on for pages about the light glinting off Leo's hair or the flames licking at Phoebe's throat. Although, I do admit that some of the better fics are produced that way, I can at least say that most are not the better for lack of planning. Keyword: brainstorm.
· Ideas for fics come at the most random times (i.e. during a root canal, during dinner, when your taking your furry friend to have his animalhood cut off) so always keep a notepad with you for those things that just spurt from your lips before you can stop them. But however, if you happen to spurt out:
"That's it! I figured out how to vanquish the Source! It's brilliant, absolutely brilliant I say!"
You may find yourself wearing a very restricting white coat for a long duration of the near future. Don't say I didn't warn you… *goes off muttering to self about new spells*
· Okay, time for a serious one: Don't ever let anyone tell you that writing about TV characters is stupid. I get that a lot from my friend who is a fellow writer, and she doesn't seem to get that as long as you enjoy what you're writing about, the topic doesn't matter. (Hey, she spent six months writing about characters in a book *cough cough Harry Potter cough cough*, so why is she bitching at me?) Some of it may be a waste of time, but you can't get serious about what you do without practice.
· AU's are not bad. If you'd have liked to see what it was like if Leo had chosen Phoebe over Piper, then go ahead! Write it! I'll be the first to read it! (well, maybe not the first, but I will be up there, near the top… somewhere…) Just don't forget to add that little disclaimer at the top: Be warned, this is an AU fic. All you (insert couple of choice) fans should steer clear. Although this only piques the interest of the summary reader even more, it gives them warning, and you the license to kill them if they dare flame you.
· Using slash in a Charmed fic could get ugly, and I'd recommend staying as far away from it as possible. Could you imagine Cole and Leo- *light bulb pops up over head* hey, wait a minute… (j/k) But really. Think about it, none of them are the slashy type (except maybe Leo. You have to admit, he is really sensitive. Not to mention that fact that he has no male companions. Even his whitelighter friends are girls. Remember Natalie? *dodges sharp pointy items that are thrown at computer screen* hey, it's just an observation!)
· Summaries are a wonderful thing. It gives the reader the opportunity to get an idea of what your fic is about, and then they can decide if it is worth there priceless time. Stating simply: I'm no good at summaries. Just read, will get you no where. That doesn't grasp anyone's attention! (again, maybe that guy in the basement, but he's just really creepy.) Try something along the lines of: P/L divorce AU. What could have been if Piper and her sisters had never had any powers? What would Leo be doing as a handyman in San Francisco? Would their love have blossomed and wilted? Or would they have been together forever, a fairy tale romance. Read to find out. That will grasp a person's attention, not mention give them a million ideas for their very own AU fic.
· The perfect title is hard to achieve. Often it has nothing to do with the story itself, yet it fits perfectly with the message in the story. Example of a bad title: Piper and Leo in Love. Gee, that really sounds like an interesting story (sorry, for those of you who may have used that as a title but it does suck) Another example: Untitled. Really, come on. You could at least put a little thought into it! What is the story about? Who is it about? The title often fits the characters' personalities as well. If you were to write about Dan and how he felt about Piper dumping him, you may want to use the title, Royally Flushed, and then mention something about him calling her a queen or a princess in the story. Hey! What a concept!
· Now, flame is a nice way of saying "rip to shreds, chew up, spit out, and set afire". Properly flaming can be defined as an art. 1) when shouting, lose control of that shift key (i.e. WhAT THE FucK waS ThAT???//??!!!!!111?!) 2) don't be afraid to use long punctuation (i.e. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 3) Language can only be tolerated in moderation. Excessive use of cuss words may get you kicked out wherever you are posting (i.e. What the fuck, you fucking asshole? The biggest piece of shit I've read in my entire fucking goddammed life! Go to fucking hell!) and 4) never sign your real name. It just gives the author license to stalk you and hack into your computer.
· When posting positive reviews, don't make them too lengthy. Authors appreciate your support, but they don't need a book about how much you like their work. A simple, "awww, that was sweet!" or "I loved it!" or even a "MORE, MORE, MORE!" would do nicely. Unless, of course, you know the author personally, then you can draw it out all you want. Repercussions will come later…
Hope you enjoyed!
*Dimples*