Hi everyone! It's my greatest pleasure to present to you the Halloween edition of our virtual season! Snow, SC, domina tempore and I wanted to comemorate the celebration - and let's face it, it's always fun to do thematic seasonal short pieces! I'll be posting our Halloween-inspired short stories throughout the day, and I very much hope you enjoy them :) Happy Halloween!

The Con

by domina tempore

"Your planet does have the most peculiar customs."

In theory, Cam should have been surprised to find Vala in his quarters. He really should have, actually. For one, it was his quarters; two, Vala really didn't do that anymore like she had the beginning. And, maybe the most important, number three: they were his quarters.

So yes, it should have been an unusual occurence to find Vala sprawled across his bed, eating chocolate or popcorn and reading crappy magazines or Teal'c's back-issue copies of the National Inquirer. Likewise, his response when waking at oh-dark-hundred to find her quietly browsing the stack of old mission reports that he was constantly re-reading should not have simply been to groan and roll over to go back to sleep.

Today's reading material (at least she was consistent) was a holiday-themed Martha Stewart catalogue. Pretty light reading, for Vala.

He realized after staring dumbly at her for a minute and pondering his complete lack of surprise at the situation, that she was looking up at him expectantly. Next, he realized that while his mind had been going through "all the reasons why this shouldn't be normal", she had still been speaking to him.

He rubbed his forehead. "Sorry, am I supposed to be answering a question? I was kind of distracted by the fact that you've taken over my quarters. Again. Why is that, by the way?"

Vala shrugged dismissively. "Your bed is more comfortable," she said casually, sitting up and curling her legs underneath her body.

Cam blinked at her. "For the love of – Vala, is this whole breaking into my room shtick your way of telling me that you want to do an extreme makeover on your quarters?"

She bounced a little. "Oh Cameron, I thought you'd never ask!" she giggled. Cam sighed, and made a mental note to warn Daniel to hide his credit cards. "But, that's actually not what I was talking about. This 'Halloween' thing that people keep talking about, it's in all the magazines too, and I don't understand it. It sounds ridiculous." She rolled her eyes when Cam opened his mouth. "And before you tell me to ask Daniel, I called him in England and he talked for over an hour about the history of the celebration, which honestly was dull as anything and sounded like something a very bored Goa'uld probably created! And I asked Teal'c, but the insight that he shared with me was..." She paused for a second and grinned widely at some private thought. "Well, he did give me a collection of badly made black-and-white horror movies, but they were no help whatsoever. Although now I know never to sleep in motels. Or cabins in the woods. Or cornfields." She cleared her throat. "It's a surprise I'll ever be able to sleep anywhere again, really."

That she had gone off on a weird tangent was about par for the course, really. But he still wasn't sure what she was so concerned about. "Vala, you're still not giving me a real question, here."

With an exaggerated sigh, the woman pointed to the magazine she'd tossed aside, opened to a picture of a warm-looking house and a porch full of trick-or-treaters. "I want to know the good stuff," she demanded. "The food, the fun, the clever ways to get a slightly disgruntled archaeologist to show up in my quarters some night?" She batted her eyelashes. "That last one is completely hypothetical, of course."

"Oh, completely," Cam nodded agreeably. Of course Jackson was at the root of this thing somewhere. He thought it best not to point that out, though. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, humming thoughtfully. "Well, food and fun...you know what trick-or-treating is, right?"

Vala frowned thoughtfully. "I heard the phrase, but I just don't get the concept."

"What's difficult about kids dressing up and asking for candy?" he asked.

"But what's the point? A few sweets seem like pretty poor incentive for anything, to me."

Considering the lengths that the woman would go to consume anything containing sugar, Cam seriously doubted this. But saying that wouldn't get her off his bed. "Think of it like a con," he suggested instead. Her eyes sparkled at the word 'con'. "Kids dress up to 'hide their identities'," he made air quotes, one of Vala's new favorite gestures, "and to see who can gather the most candy from unsuspecting citizens."

Now this was a language that Vala understood. "That...is actually brilliant. There must be some truly inventive children on your little planet, after all. Can adults do it, too? The trick-or-treating thing?"

Warning bells went off in Cam's head. He tried to ignore them, if only because he could see that she was ready to run off with excitement and let him take a nap in his own bed. He nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I know that some of the techs dress up around here, and they had a party once, a few years ago –"

He broke off as Vala flashed a dazzling smile and grabbed his hand. "Oh, we are absolutely doing this, Cameron!"

A big, flashing 'DO NOT ENTER' sign appeared right along with the warning bells. Unfortunately, Cam was watching it shrink in his rearview mirror. "Come again?"

"The party! The con! We are doing it. Come on, we're going to need costumes – Daniel will be back by then, you need to help me find something that will make him blush – and all of the labs and offices are going to need to get lots and lots of candy..." She dragged him out of his room, still talking a mile a minute. Cam threw a longing glance back at his bed.

So much for that nap.

The End

Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the next short story, "Never Bet Against a Sure Thing", by yours truly.

Reviewers get Halloween candy! ;)