I wonder that if I could go back in time, sounds fanciful doesn't it, and undo all the killing whether- whether I would do the same thing. I know I was to blame for Stiltson, Bonzo, and most importantly the Buggers. No matter how much I wanted- want to blame them, the teachers, the enemy. Graff, Armstrong, Mazer. They were against me the entire time. They didn't care about me as a human, just as a weapon, Ender the weapon. Ender the Xenocide.
All I ever wanted was to protect Valentine like she protected me from Peter. But was being away from her for six years and having to leave the planet forever worth it? Did the human race ever do anything really worth saving? How many people do I actually consider human? Not many and the list gets shorter. Is it wrong to consider the Buggers more human than the humans. Not human, but humane.
I used to wonder, not wonder. I used to be assured that I was like Peter. Now I laugh at that. I used to think Peter was the cruel one, the monster, that- that he should die. What did Peter do? Torture Val and I as children. So he had a screwed up childhood, we all did. As a child, I killed two boys. Who sounds like the monster? Peter unites the world in peace and harmony; I kill an entire species.
Who is the monster?
It's me.