Okay this story is contestshipping a first for me. I needed something else to write about so I had this idea. This is part of Leekie's contestshipping contest she had, for more information go check out her page. sorry leekie

April 1

I have no clue who ever told me to do this but seeing as I'll be here for a while, I have no other choice.

My arms hurt to the point where I can barely move them. I actually miss writing. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. Nothing is ever new for me. The populars are still popular and the nerds are still smart. It's almost as if society has this dotted line for us to follow and we have to fill it in, with our troubles and doubts.

I HATE IT!!!

My parents love me so much and I know this isn't their fault. How could I have everything, any kid would dream of having and still feel so miserable. Even after my parents said they were separating I couldn't care less. I felt fine. As much as knew I was fine, I wasn't acting like it. The legendary divorce is such a bore.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore. School seemed pointless, it is pointless. Still either way I manage to get up in the morning and drag myself there, knowing the dark fate that haunts me if I don't. Dawn has kept me company there for as long as I can remember. I guess the situation wasn't quite as intense as I thought. I need her around to remind me of what not to become. It didn't really start to sink in until...Drew...

I looked over to the young man beside me, his head was wrapped around but his slightly visible bangs of green hair were visible.

"Drew..." I whispered. He was lying right next to me, in the same room of the same hospital. I hadn't seem him since two weeks ago, well no one had seen him since two weeks ago.

Drew was quite the athletic individual at my school. He ran faster than anyone I knew. He wasn't a creep like most of the athletic guys, he was genually nice to everyone. I could remember one instance when girls kept dropping their book or pencils so they could start a conversation with him. He never stayed too long, he helped picked them up and walked away without ever saying a word.

I had to admit it, he was cute. Would he ever be interested in Me? I've decided not to let the thought of Drew lying next to me get to my head. Just another stupid crush. I wrote. Memories and broken dreams. I didn't really know him, We had the same P.E. class that's about it. Every now and then we had a slight conversation.

But Drew is here! What a coincidence. He had scared me, so much. We were just there, running our laps around the field. I actually thought we had an interesting conversation going...He was sweating, gasping for air and holding his chest.

"Drew what's wrong?" she remembered asking him. He didn't answer. Drew collapsed to the floor, his face landed in the dirt.

They said his heart gave out. He almost died on the way here. The cause of this was still unknown to me. After that I literally gave up on finding him. My entire being began to deteriorate. I couldn't hide from the thoughts, the emotions...the beliefs.

It all just started once, as an accident of course. I enjoyed it. I felt alive. Someone different. Nothing could save me from this void I was falling into. I grew tired of feeling this pain. Just one more brick in the wall. What was the point? Was there a point to any of this?

One cut fell deeper, lights swirled in and around my head, as my mother's priceless bath towels lay pressed against my hands. I felt the life slowly drift away from me. I missed the comfort in being sad. I held it in too long, Nothing deserves to be kept away forever...

"What are you writing?"

May looked over at Drew's bed. He was awake with his eyes gently shut. "Did you say something?" I asked.

"You're talking out loud, Interrupting my sleep, you keep sounding as if you don't want to be here or anywhere on this planet for that matter."

I looked down at my writing. My tears drained away the ink on the page. "Why do you care anyway?"

"If you truly, really wanted to die, you would have been dead long before now..." Drew's voice was becoming a faint whisper in the room. He was having trouble just speaking. Drew used his energy and slowly climbed out of his bed, walking over to my bed and sitting down by the edge of my feet.

He placed his hand on my wrist. He closed his eyes for a moment. My heart beat throbbed through out my lacerated vein. "You were afraid?" he asked.

I pulled away from him. "No I wasn't!"

He chuckled "I've known plenty of people who have felt the same way as you do and they didn't cut, they ended it as quickly and swiftly as possible, were you hoping that someone was going to walk in on you and save you?'

His voice was weak but reassuring. "I...was afraid..."

"If your afraid...say the word over and over again until it is meaningless, that works for me sometimes. Death, death, death, death...pretty soon I might as well be saying watermelon, watermelon, watermelon..."

"So have you been awake this whole time?"

He nodded. He had taken his place at the foot of my bed. His eyes closed and smiling towards the emptiness of the ceiling. "Yeah, I have, I don't want to be taken as a stalker but, you do think out loud and pretty loud. I heard the conversation between you and your doctors, is it nice knowing someone unexpected is going to come visit you?"

"Why don't you ever have visits from our good doctors?"

Drew turned his head towards me "They've decided not to bother me any more." He walked up and sat down, comfortably in an armchair not too far away. He picked up the first book he found and began to read. "They're just waiting to watch me spit out my last breath and die like I'm supposed too, beside they specialize in something different than what I have."

Drew smiled, I guess here we could sense each others feelings. "I doubt any of that Bullcrap they suggested really pinpointed and described you?"

"Not really, I just nodded in response to whatever they said so they would leave me alone."

"Hmmm" Drew continued reading. his eyes scanned the book's letters and words about the unknown.

"What you have..." I began "Is it permanent...um terminal?"

He closed his book for a moment, placing his finger to bookmark his page. "That's my little secret, besides that's what I'm told, but of course not all medical terms are correct these days."

"What about your parents?" I seemed to long for the conversation we hadn't finished. "Do they believe the doctors."

Drew scoffed. "Believe is hardly the word, more like embrace covers it better."

"What?" I could hardly believe it. "Why would they do that, no one wants to here about their son dying."

"Well, May believe what you want but even with this, I'm enjoying my life, no school, all the books I want, the occasional painkiller to give me a slight buzz and...the company of a cute and sweet girl."

I felt my cheeks flame bright red. "You are so..."

"Have you ever wondered that maybe dying is preventable, it only exist because we already have learned to accept it?"

I started having that feeling again. "I wish I could have accepted it."

He looked up from his book. "Even though I hate to admit it, I am sort of afraid, just what exactly lies beyond our dreams." Drew chuckled again. "Being ignorant is bliss, The sun might be gone but we have lights, a broken heart can be healed with glue."

Drew walked over to me. He placed his hand back on my wrists, carefully examining them. Almost as if he had fallen in love with my arms. " Do you always act like this?" I asked.

"So far teenage angst has payed off well, but now we're bored, old and dying. It wouldn't really matter what happens now..." Drew placed my hands back under my sheets and returned to his bed. "It's Lymphoma..." he said calmly. "I have very bad posture, no cure..." He was out of breath again.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be...I'm cool with it..." He groaned and grasped his arm. I noticed he had a huge band-aid underneath his hand. "I'm going to take a small nap, May I hope to talk to you whenever I wake up, ever since I've been in here I've lost all track of time."

"Drew, time for your IV." The nurse walked in carrying a huge needle attached to a small pouch of fluids. Drew raised himself immediately. "Why do insist on pumping that crap through my veins, just leave me alone!"

He attempted to hide under his blanket but the nurse grabbed his arm. I didn't continued watching, I was deathly scared of needles. For most of my friends that was the only reason they never did drugs. Needles are scary.

"There Drew that wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked.

"Oh go back to the...swap meet...quack...!" Drew continued persistently trying to annoy her. "Vacuum out...these...fluids..." by the time he finished his sentence, she had already gone.

I couldn't bare to see the needle in his arm. I went back to my writing, but I had lost my thoughts.

Now I remember, My Parents told me that keeping a diary would make me feel better...I'll come back If I have anything to mention...

I closed the book and placed it safely under my pillow. "I think I'll take a nap too Drew" I called over to him.

"Never mind" he said. "Sleep is the cousin of death, My eyes are wide open cause my dreams are kin to my last breath and they'll never take me alive..." he pondered his thoughts for a minute. "Naturally of course they won't, Can I ask you a question, May?"

Yeah.." I said yawning.

"Did you think it was really worth it?"

I lay still not wanting to move "I just had to get away from home, I don't want to leave here just yet."

"Thanks great, I can't wait to have my next birthday party here." Drew tried to make me laugh but it wasn't really helping. "Your such a beautiful girl May, There are people out there who really care about you."

"My mom and dad are never home, it seems they care about themselves and their stupid divorce more than me." I sobbed quietly, I didn't want to let Drew hear.

"Just...take..me home..." he whispered. "Maybe one day when I'm falling asleep watching T.V...I'll wake up in my mother's arms...her real arms, loving caring...not the ones that she has now."

"Exactly..." My eyes couldn't stay open anymore. I was drifting off. "Good night...Drew..."

"May...I...I..." Drew's IV had knocked him out. The doctors could have probably taken his vital organs and he would have never known. That entered my mind and implanted itself there. I stayed awake throughout the afternoon and most of the night. Watching out for no one to touch his perfect body lying there in peace and tranquility. I really hated thinking, that soon that peace and tranquillity would soon, one of these days, never go away.

Yeah that was kinda angsty or whatever, more will be explained soon. next chapter coming soon. by the way thanks for all the reviews i have gotten and for my 1000th hit to my page