Champions Of Haldor: The Legend of Alduil
A Semi True Novel By Brendan Walter
Book I: Chapter 1: Tides Against Linan
Matthias galloped to the back of his lines. The sound of the battering ram battering the gate threw him off his horse, but he quickly recovered to return to safety.
The Castle of Linan was built just above the forest it was named for, and was located just south of it's opposing side's castle of Jieie Castle.
The Haldorian under Hollister of Haldor stood behind the gate, ready to fight.
The gates burst open and the cylindrical ram came with it. Pieces of shattered wood were thrown into Evan's men. Many of the "front-men" were killed before the fight began.
Dozens of Matguards and Matranns flooded the defenders in hope of reaching the Haldorian leader, Hollister.
Evan, the true son of Hollister led the defense. He wore an orange cloak with his hood pulled up and standard plate mail underneath.
Matguards and Matranns were similar in appearance, but completely different in battle. Matguards were more ordered, merciful, and noble, using spears, shields, and swords. Matranns wore the same armor, but fought with no honor or morals. Using whatever cruel weapons they could find, they were a force to be reckoned with.
"Sir the men of Matdom have breached the gate. Sir Evan cannot hold out much longer! Sir Daniel and his men have been cut off my Ruttler's artillery!" Lieutenant Entwell reported calmly.
Hollister sighed greatly so it could be heard throughout the the hall.
The gold plates and ceremonial armor rattled front the fighting just outside their large doors. The priceless jewels lain about the sides would soon fall into the hands of his worst enemy.
Hollister grabbed the fine, silver hilt of his sword and ripped it out from his belt. He stood up from his chair and headed towards the door.
"It is time for the king of Haldor to finally earn his place in this society."
His two most trusted guards stepped down from behind him to follow their master into battle, halberds ready.
Hollister kicked open the door, revealing over a dozen Matguards. It seemed they exited just as the last man was killed.
"I'll see you guys later…just…let me know how this works out." Hollister whispered so his enemies would not hear.
Finally a short man with a large cranium emerged from the crowd. His curly, long hair flipped down into his eyes and over his ears. A pumpkin colored cape was draped upon his back, showing a chainmail cuirass and a large golden gong.
"At last Hollister we meet! How long has it been…two…three years?"
"Seven hours Matthias…you've been attacking this castle for like, ever. Idiot…"
With that comment, Matthias lunged at him. However his fatter, fraternal twin Marcellus stopped him and whispered in his ears.
Matthias grinned and motioned his officer Ian Malinei to come forward.
Ian pushed his way through the crowd with Evan in his possession. Evan's eyes were beaten red, and his cloak was tattered from the slaughter at the gates.
"Surrender your kingdom or your heir dies before you. All you need do is sign away all of your fiefs to me and I may let him live."
"I don't even like him. He's not really my heir I was planning on giving the kingdom to my other son." Hollister admitted plainly.
He took the pen after about five seconds of looking like a d-bag and began to sign off The Dandruff Tower.
Two Matguards hurriedly rushed through their own lines to get to the top. Once they got right behind Matthias, one broke off to the left, into the open.
"Cross your I's and dot you p's Holly McJolly." Marcellus giggled happily.
A wooden shield suddenly slammed into Marcellus's nose, and the cracking noise could be heard through dyne of the men. The ink bottle he was holding flew into Matthias's eyes and sent him to the floor as well.
Hollister looked at the pen and rammed it through a Matguard's neck viciously.
A small axe tore through the crowd and sliced Ian's arm clean off. In fact, it was so clean Ian didn't even notice.
"What?" Ian asked, rather confused. As he turned to his left one of the Matguards slammed their two handed axe across his chest. He flew backwards into the wall of Hollard Hall.
A Matguard swung at Evan's head with his longsword. Evan dodged the blow and head butted him off the battlements.
The soldier who leveled Marcellus appeared behind him and cut his bonds off before lopping off the head of a charging Matrann.
The mole wielding the axe swung it around him and halved the surrounding men of Matdon.
Dead Haldorians lay scattered around the castle of Linan, with almost an equal amount of slain Matguards. The two traitors fought on the left and right side of the castle, while Hollister, Evan, and their guards tried to back off the Matguards trying to enter the Haltimer (the throne room).
Matthias wiped the ink from his eyes and began to get up. As he did so he realized one of the traitors were right in front of him. He swung his sword in an uppercut and knocked the shield from the soldier, along with his Matdon helmet.
Matthias froze in terror and utter awe.
Black, greasy, dandruff ridden hair shone in the sunlight just on the peak of the Haltimer. Under it was the Kazak face of Sir Alduil The Tall.
Alduil raised his cheeks into a creepy laugh. The son of Haltimer and a renowned war hero of the Northern Wars looked around himself at all the nearby men.
"My son returns to save me in my hour of need…" Hollister mumbled.
Meanwhile Evan looked on with jealousy. Hollister always favored the strong yet untamed style of Alduil, as opposed to Evan's pussy style.
Alduil swiftly swung his blade across his hip and knocked Matthias's sword to the stone floor. He strode forward and kicked Matthias down the stairs.
The other tore his Matdon helmet off and revealed himself to be Tyler, Alduil's bodyguard/bffl. His hair was short compared to Alduil's which ran to his neck. Tyler was a bit portly, but not a freak show per say.
The axe of Tyler crashed down upon the helm of another Matguard. Blood sprayed onto Hollister's royal robe.
Tyler quickly threw Hollister behind him, out of danger. His only duty was to protect the royal family, nothing else (except make Alduil look popular).
Marcellus's bloody nose dripped onto the ground of Linan castle. The evil strategist began to crawl slowly towards and non-expectant Alduil. Finally he cocked his fist and punched Alduil in the front of the kneecap.
"Ow man dat hurt!" Alduil cried in anguish. He started flapping his arms about before tumbling down the stairs.
"Don't move sucka." Tyler ordered to Marcellus. He reached his axe out and held it in place under Marcellus's second chin.
Alduil's leg now formed an acute triangle pointing behind him. The mighty prince barely noticed though, as he was a warrior trained to resist great pain.
Using the stairs to assist him, he slammed his leg down and straightened it out.
Hollister's two remaining guards were overrun and slain by the men of Matdon, while Tyler was preoccupied with restraining Marcellus.
Alduil leaped up the remaining stairs and grasped his shield and hacked at the first man with the dark blue hauberk he saw. Moving his blade in diagonal slashes, he fought his way through the remaining men.
Obviously, Alduil's swordsmanship surpassed that of any other in the land of Cintervel. Hollister only adopted him because of his disappointment in Evan.
Although Evan is his only real son (and, furthermore, oldest) he loved Alduil's lack of self consciousness or common sense.
Ian and his two men were the only men between Alduil, and his long awaited reunion with his father.
Ian's unibrow and light mustache were enflamed with rage. His long unwashed hair was pushed down into his eyes, beneath his silver, pointed helmet.
"You fall here Alduil." Ian declared dramatically as he pulled the bronze axe from his bloody stump of a shoulder. Ian shrieked suddenly and began to cry, holding his nose in pain.
His warriors faced each other and then threw themselves at Alduil.
The Kazak bent over and put his shield over his head. The two flipped over him and landed on their backs.
"I call dat da Aldi-ashtray!" He giggled as he sliced their throats.
When he turned around he found Ian and Marcellus holding Evan and Hollister captive. Marcellus's long red robe draped to the ground, while his sword lingered in front of Hollister's throat.
"The war is over Alduil, you suck." Marcellus spat as he slid his blade across the King.
"No!" Alduil cried in disturbing pain. He dove through the air and cropped Marcellus's head in half.
Marcellus's forehead slithered off his chin in a spurt of blood. The rest of his body fell backwards into the Haltimer.
Alduil spun around and drove his blade through Evan into Ian. Realizing what he had done nanoseconds after he had, a tear ran down his face.
"Wow…seriously Alduil?" Evan asked sarcastically.
Alduil became angry and ripped it out from Evan's liver.
His brother fell into his arms, and Ian tumbled on top of them both. Ian's large ass nearly suffocated Evan, but Alduil managed to get him out from under it.
Silently Alduil threw Evan and Ian over his shoulders and carried them to the barracks.
Although Ian was an enemy, he had helped Alduil greatly in the Northern Wars, and Alduil didn't like to betray people (once a month he might though).
Tyler sat up amongst the dead, unsteadily looking for Alduil. Marcellus had knocked him out by telling him that there was a gang of black men to his left.
Finally when he looked up he saw Alduil at the top of the steps.
"Tylar, I favner are dead! I mortawy wouned I own brovner! How could today suck any more anus!?"
Tyler stared at his bffl's unresponsive face before exploding into a fit of rage. Throwing bodies and weapons over the walls, trying to look cool just like Alduil.
"I don't feel very good Tylar…help I…" He mumbled, staggering around the top of the steps. Afterwards he fell to the ground and fainted.
"Dammit…" Tyler sighed. Then he remembered Matthias fell to the bottom of the stairs. He grasped his axe and rushed back down to the splintered gate.
Rather than finding Matthias, the sound of horses approached his ears. Dodging the dead men lying around, he hid behind the only remaining piece of the gate.
The horses drew closer and the hooves' pace picked up once the sight of the gate was visible.
Tyler shifted his hand to the top of his axe.
Another one of Alduil's best friends and officers, Daniel, blasted through the gate with his entire unit of cavalry. His men stared at the bodies with disbelief.
Tyler realized who it was and sprinted to catch up with Daniel.
"Tyler! What happened here? Where is the king?"
"Dan, yo man what up? You is like five howuhs later! Hollisa is dead man!" Tyler reported sadly.
Daniel dismounted his horse and hopped up the stone staircase with Tyler.
They found a ghost-white Alduil with his blood drenched Matguard uniform, laid out on the courtyard ground.
"Is he okay? There is a lot of blood loss, it seems." Daniel agonized. Daniel had long brown hair, a red leather cuirass, red leather boots, and silk red socks that went up to his knees.
"The trauma did this to him. From his father's death. Think with your mind, not your socks Dan bag. We'd better get him with the other injured." Tyler advised.
Daniel nodded subtly and helped carry him to the concrete barracks.
Men who were wounded from previous waves had been deposited in there, even though many were still fit to fight. They had injuries from a scraped knees to a no-head.
"Why is Ian here? He works for Matdon!" Daniel exclaimed drawing his cavalry saber.
"Alduil used to be friends with him. A lot of Matthias's men used to serve with Alduil in the Northern Wars. Although he wouldn't admit it, without them he wouldn't have lasted a second. You know Matt Ruttler, the artilleryman who pinned you down?"
"Him too? I was just a lieutenant in the Northern Wars, I can't believe I missed all this!"
"It wasn't a pleasant time…I wish I could forget the men we lost…" Tyler stated, looking back into the past.
The Northern Wars were waged by Hollister against the King of the Alantir tribes and their leader, Jimike. Hollister was the leader of the two parts of the armies, East and West. Alduil was Captain of the west and named it Ratchet Battalion. Matthias renamed his G.I. Joe Corps.
At the great battle of Amanri castle, Alduil and Matthiashias captured Jimike and severed his clavicle. This released his two opposite parts, Jim and Mike.
Jim was quiet, stealthy, small, and intelligent. While Mike was tall, "brave", annoying, and practically retarded. Although neither noticed their handicaps they formed a might fighting team together.
Alduil got the credit for their defeat and capture. Matthias was though as the bad general, and nobody wanted to believe that it was because of him the war was won.
After the war was won the East and West armies departed and returned to their homelands to continue governing under Hollister. Alduil came back with over 50,000 gold for Jimike's capture, and Matthias returned with nothing.
Matthias took it upon himself to take his own reward, and seized the land for his own.
When Hollister learned of this, he and his sons waged war upon Matdon and it's rulers, Matthias and Marcellus, to gain what was lost.
Tyler was Marcellus's counterpart for Alduil. He was the strongest other than Alduil and admired him for it.
Linan was Hollister's main base, and with the loss of it, the loss of the war was imminent. Now that Alduil was king, it was more than imminent.
Alduil threw his head up from his pillow and screamed at the top of his lungs. He looked around frantically, although even he wasn't sure what he was hoping to see.
"Oh fank Ratchet, it were just a dream." He said to himself.
He jumped out of his bed and kicked open the worn wooded door. The light from the sun blinded him, and revealed the wretched truth.
Just outside the barracks Tyler was building coffins with the assistance of Daniel's men. Evan was holding Hollister in his arms, with his head buried deep in his chest.
"Dammit…" The King though to himself. He had nothing to do now so he moped around the courtyard; pretending to be overseeing the men's progress.
He tried not to show that he cared about the death of anyone there, but really it was too devastating for him to contemplate. Alduil cared too much about what people though about him, and though emotion would make him appear vulnerable, and would get pissed if people didn't think he was the best.
"Al, I baked you eggs and hammy!" Daniel offered sensitively.
He held out a plate with a stick and a piece of bread.
Alduil turned around with joy, but his bliss was short-lived when he saw the plate.
"Dat aren't eggs and hammy…" Alduil announced as if he was teaching Daniel a lesson.
"It was worth a try." Daniel confessed. He threw the plate on the ground and retreated to his barracks to snivel in anger.
Alduil was now dressed in his normal battle attire. A leather tunic that went down to his knees with a chainmail robe underneath it. Beneath the chainmail was a light red shirt that stuck out barely.
"Al…here is Hollister's cloak. He would've wanted you to have it…" Evan said. He held out Hollister's green cloak, which was stained with the blood that resided in his esophagus.
He threw it over his back and pushed Evan away when he saw a messenger approaching.
"Sir, a letter has come from Jieie Castle! It bears the seal of Matdon."
"Give that to I you ho! Let's snee what dis letter says."
Alduil or Whoever The King Is,
We relize you're castle has been weakened after our many waives. We have cut off all fuchure hopes of reinforsements or escape. Our barrackades have been reinforsed with more men. Surrender now or we will exterminate you to death.
Love, Matthias and Marcellus
P.S.
We realize you thought you killed me (Marcellus), but you just knocked off my helmet. Seriously…you're an idiot."Damn you Marcellus! And you Matthias, too!" Alduil screamed. He was just trying to look like a badass. Nobody cared though, because he shouted random stuff like that all the time. Although this time, it was relevant.
He rushed to find Tyler and Daniel to tell them to prepare for the upcoming battle. He had no intention of surrendering this early in his kingship, no matter how many lives it may cost.