Shinji clutched Rei to his chest as he sobbed. He had tried. He had tried
to lend his Eva's own AT field to Rei's entry-plug capsule when her Eva had
self-destructed but it hadn't been enough to with stand the full fury of
the blast. Now, as Shinji's held Rei his hands bleed profusely, mingling
with the blood that oozed out of her own shattered body. He had burned his
hands to the point where skin and plastic had both melted when he opened
Rei's superheated entry-plug, and now the melted plastic clang to the flesh
of his palms. But he barely even noticed.
He sat there, crouched in Rei's twisted entry plug, her body smashed beyond any recognition aside from blue hair and albino skin, neither of which could be easily seen beneath the layer of blood on top of them. Most people that looked at the corpse that had once been Ayanami would have immediately vomited. But Shinji could not do that, for he could not get past the fact that these were the remains of Ayanami. Gently shaking his head he could only stare down at what had once been his friend. Why, he thought. Why did you do it. She had done it for him. Shinji had never seen Rei defy an order before, would never have dreamed it of the girl who had confided in him once, almost a year ago, that she piloted Eva because it gave her the only bond she had to the human race. But when she saw that his life was in danger from The Angel of Might she defied her orders to eject and gave up her own life to protect him. She died to save him.
He looked down at her and paled even more at this thought, what it meant. It meant that someone really had cared about him all along. Someone who didn't simply see him as a tool or as an annoyance that could eventually grow on oneself if given time. But, one part of himself insisted, this wasn't possible. Rei couldn't have really cared so much about him, could she? He wanted to deny it. He wanted to scream out loud that nobody could ever think that way about him. His father wouldn't, so why should anyone else care about him. But he wouldn't deny it, despite how natural it felt to put himself down. If he did, he knew, it would ruin everything Rei had done for him. So instead he simply continued to crouch in the entry-plug as the heat from the hollow and twisted piece of metal radiated from the inside, searing Shinji's skin, making it painful to even keep his eyes open.
"Rei, I'm sorry. I tried talking to you from time to time, but I just didn't know what to say."
Flashback
"Is that the reason why you have been looking at me then," Rei asked. The question was simply stated, but Shinji could just barely here a hopeful note on Rei's voice. Scared he retreated back in to his shell. He looked away, pretending not to have noticed.
"Uh-huh."
End Flashback
Shinji's eyes teared, whether from the heat or from the shame of lost chances he could not be sure. Rei, you were alone when I first met you. And I get the impression that you've lived your entire life alone. I wish that I could go back Rei. To tell you that you weren't alone, that I cared to. I just couldn't let myself believe that somebody could care about me. Is that why you didn't say anything either, because you felt that way inside to?
Shinji blinked in surprise, realizing he may have hit on another way that she and himself were alike. Neither one had been raised to think of themselves as being important, and it showed. Did Rei not say anything to Shinji because she did not think she was worth Shinji's notice? Shinji just shook his head and looked down at Rei. I think back to every time I had a chance to say something to you and didn't. But I should have said something Rei, so why did you have to die and leave me before I finally found my nerve? I would have found it eventually. Shinji stared down at the bleeding mass of flesh he clang to. I love you Rei.
Rei's body suddenly spasmed. Shinji stared at Rei's body as it began to involuntarily twitch and shudder. Before Shinji's astonished eyes, Rei's eyes opened, at first unseeing, but soon the light of comprehension flooded them. Shinji just stared at Rei. "Rei. I.I." he stuttered not knowing what to say.
Rei looked at Shinji weakly, and smiled. "I know," she said, "I love you to." And with those words Rei shuddered and fell into an exhausted slumber.
* * *
"How did this happen," Gendo asked, frowning at Dr. Akagi.
"It would appear that contact with an angel completed her angelic structure. The full effects of this however, and what it implies to the scenario have yet to be seen."
"That is not what I am asking, why is she still alive. She was supposed to die so that we could transfer her soul into a specially designed body, one that was perfectly equipped to start Third Impact. It even had a security measure encoded in it to ensure that Rei could only survive by joining with Lilith. Why didn't Rei stay dead? Her body was damaged far beyond her capabilities of healing. This is." Gendo groped for a word, but Dr. Akagi cut him off.
"What happened was simple. Shinji subconsciously synchronized with Rei's body and forced the living cells to begin to regenerate at a rate that is not ordinarily possible, even for her. Once this was completed, Rei's soul went back into its familiar body."
"But that is ridiculous!"
"No, Shinji did things like this since the first day he got here. Don't you remember how he forced his Eva's arm to move despite the fact Unit-01 lacked the energy. Shinji fed it some of his own AT field. His Eva, and now apparently Rei, can draw energy from his unique state of existence, and Shinji can use it to force them to go beyond their ordinary limits."
Gendo stared at Ritsuko. "I want a full exam done on Rei. If she has become an angel than I have to know if she can still carry out her primary duty, and unite the human race."
"Understood."
"Dismissed."
He sat there, crouched in Rei's twisted entry plug, her body smashed beyond any recognition aside from blue hair and albino skin, neither of which could be easily seen beneath the layer of blood on top of them. Most people that looked at the corpse that had once been Ayanami would have immediately vomited. But Shinji could not do that, for he could not get past the fact that these were the remains of Ayanami. Gently shaking his head he could only stare down at what had once been his friend. Why, he thought. Why did you do it. She had done it for him. Shinji had never seen Rei defy an order before, would never have dreamed it of the girl who had confided in him once, almost a year ago, that she piloted Eva because it gave her the only bond she had to the human race. But when she saw that his life was in danger from The Angel of Might she defied her orders to eject and gave up her own life to protect him. She died to save him.
He looked down at her and paled even more at this thought, what it meant. It meant that someone really had cared about him all along. Someone who didn't simply see him as a tool or as an annoyance that could eventually grow on oneself if given time. But, one part of himself insisted, this wasn't possible. Rei couldn't have really cared so much about him, could she? He wanted to deny it. He wanted to scream out loud that nobody could ever think that way about him. His father wouldn't, so why should anyone else care about him. But he wouldn't deny it, despite how natural it felt to put himself down. If he did, he knew, it would ruin everything Rei had done for him. So instead he simply continued to crouch in the entry-plug as the heat from the hollow and twisted piece of metal radiated from the inside, searing Shinji's skin, making it painful to even keep his eyes open.
"Rei, I'm sorry. I tried talking to you from time to time, but I just didn't know what to say."
Flashback
"Is that the reason why you have been looking at me then," Rei asked. The question was simply stated, but Shinji could just barely here a hopeful note on Rei's voice. Scared he retreated back in to his shell. He looked away, pretending not to have noticed.
"Uh-huh."
End Flashback
Shinji's eyes teared, whether from the heat or from the shame of lost chances he could not be sure. Rei, you were alone when I first met you. And I get the impression that you've lived your entire life alone. I wish that I could go back Rei. To tell you that you weren't alone, that I cared to. I just couldn't let myself believe that somebody could care about me. Is that why you didn't say anything either, because you felt that way inside to?
Shinji blinked in surprise, realizing he may have hit on another way that she and himself were alike. Neither one had been raised to think of themselves as being important, and it showed. Did Rei not say anything to Shinji because she did not think she was worth Shinji's notice? Shinji just shook his head and looked down at Rei. I think back to every time I had a chance to say something to you and didn't. But I should have said something Rei, so why did you have to die and leave me before I finally found my nerve? I would have found it eventually. Shinji stared down at the bleeding mass of flesh he clang to. I love you Rei.
Rei's body suddenly spasmed. Shinji stared at Rei's body as it began to involuntarily twitch and shudder. Before Shinji's astonished eyes, Rei's eyes opened, at first unseeing, but soon the light of comprehension flooded them. Shinji just stared at Rei. "Rei. I.I." he stuttered not knowing what to say.
Rei looked at Shinji weakly, and smiled. "I know," she said, "I love you to." And with those words Rei shuddered and fell into an exhausted slumber.
* * *
"How did this happen," Gendo asked, frowning at Dr. Akagi.
"It would appear that contact with an angel completed her angelic structure. The full effects of this however, and what it implies to the scenario have yet to be seen."
"That is not what I am asking, why is she still alive. She was supposed to die so that we could transfer her soul into a specially designed body, one that was perfectly equipped to start Third Impact. It even had a security measure encoded in it to ensure that Rei could only survive by joining with Lilith. Why didn't Rei stay dead? Her body was damaged far beyond her capabilities of healing. This is." Gendo groped for a word, but Dr. Akagi cut him off.
"What happened was simple. Shinji subconsciously synchronized with Rei's body and forced the living cells to begin to regenerate at a rate that is not ordinarily possible, even for her. Once this was completed, Rei's soul went back into its familiar body."
"But that is ridiculous!"
"No, Shinji did things like this since the first day he got here. Don't you remember how he forced his Eva's arm to move despite the fact Unit-01 lacked the energy. Shinji fed it some of his own AT field. His Eva, and now apparently Rei, can draw energy from his unique state of existence, and Shinji can use it to force them to go beyond their ordinary limits."
Gendo stared at Ritsuko. "I want a full exam done on Rei. If she has become an angel than I have to know if she can still carry out her primary duty, and unite the human race."
"Understood."
"Dismissed."