Moving Forwards
"Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver then it felt.
He took a deep breath.
"Isabella, I'm leaving."
I took a deep breath too. What does he mean, where is he going? And surly he counts me in that I'm.
"Okay, I'll pack some things-"
"No," He stopped me abruptly. "When I say 'I'm' going, I mean just me this time. Look, I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to be with you anymore. I can't get tied down in this small town and if I'm with you then that's exactly what will happen. You were born for this small, closed in town, but me, I'm better than this. My parents are letting me go and I'm leaving right after this. I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't go looking for me. We're done, I hope you can find happiness here, but I never can." With one last disgusted look in my direction he turned on his heels and walked away vastly; leaving me standing with a gape mouth in the middle of Forks gushy forest.
I wanted to scream for him, call him back and tell him he can't, tell him he can't just leave me, he can't just leave his child. I placed a hand over my abdomen, fright running through my veins. What am I going to do now?
I walked home numbly; lucky Charlie went fishing with the guys today. Charlie, how am I supposed to tell him that I was so stupid enough to believe the first boy that ever said he loved me and let him get in my pants? He's going to be so disappointed in me. He might want me to leave. Or he might even ask me to abort my baby, I can't do that, I won't do that.
I entered the house, the silence suffocating, and the memories deathly. I just needed help; I need someone to help me, someone who would understand, someone who cares. I need my best friend.
I ran up to my room and grabbed my cell. I dialed the only number that I knew someone would always pick up. I dialed the number of my best friend, my sole.
"Jake, I'm scared."
Eight Years Later
"Well this has been an interesting day. Isn't that right Mike?" Lauren Malory sneered as she possessively took hold of Mike Newtons', her boyfriend who- still after eight years- secretly wants me, hand. I bit my lip, stifling a giggle.
"It was nice seeing you again Mike, Lauren." I said quickly trying to give them the hint to go away. But of course Lauren didn't get the hint.
"So what happened to you before graduation? After Cullen left you just disappeared." I've known Lauren Malory long enough to know that she's only asking to have something to spread around this small dense town, but I was better then that and I'd learnt to speak cryptically around people like her.
"I was around." I answered abrasively.
She glared at me and from the looks of it she was about to begin fuming. And as if sensing I needed a rescue, my all too loving family walked through the doors of the partially empty dinner. They came over to me, two of them bouncing and one of them looking utterly beat. I smiled brightly as their eyes met mine.
"Mom!" Screamed my own personal gift from god; I watched as he ran over, flanked by his little sister, and flung himself into my arms. Just as he buried his face in my chest his sister made it over to me and demanded the same treatment.
I looked up at my own personal god and his face seemed to brighten as he looked into my eyes. This man is the best man I've ever known and I love him with all my heart. I can't wait until we make it official, finally.
"Hey baby, sorry we're late." Jacob said as he leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips, and of course our audience was disgusted.
"Eww!!" the twins screeched in disgust. Jacob pulled back laughing and I could only smirk and wink at my fake dry heaving kids.
"You guys need to get a room." Danny complained while pulling Sara away from us and finding a booth. I laughed and was about to follow them when an icky noise sounded behind us. I think it was a throat clear.
Jacob and I turned around only to still see Lauren standing there with Mike. Weird, I thought they would have left.
"And who is this?" Lauren asked seductively. I vomited in my mouth a little and I could feel Jacob uncomfortably fidgeting where he stood. I looked over at Mike who, what do you know, was watching me.
"This is Jacob Black, my fiancé." I stated proudly, ecstatic about the fact. Jacob looked down at me with the most adoring expression and I melted in my spot. Who knew he would pick me?
"Fiance?" Lauren asked, still standing there, in an offhand tone, like she couldn't believe the fact.
"Yes, fiancé, and if you'll excuse us we have to get back to our kids. It was nice seeing you guys, maybe we'll see you around."
"Definitely." Mike voiced, his lips stretching into a smile so big I thought his face would rip in half. Jacob froze on the side of me. I looked up to see him glaring at Mike. Of course he could séance Mike's 'feelings'.
"Well we're going to go." I said pulling Jacob by the arm to the small booth the kids were waiting at. He came willingly enough, still shooting a glare or two at Mikes retreating form.
"Jacob." I warned.
"I remember that guy; he thought he was your boyfriend. I wanted to snap him like a twig. I bet I can."
"I know you can." I laughed. He turned to me, smiling like a goof. "How about we go eat some darn pancakes, and chill with our amazing dry heaving kids?"
"Sounds perfect," He grabbed my hand and we made it to the kids quickly.
Breakfast went by in a rush of eggs, pancakes and orange juice, and before I knew it we were outside of my fathers' two story house. I haven't been here in years, I think the last time I was here was when Danny and Sara were six months, and that was only to get my things. I moved in with Jake and Billy shortly after. Then Jake and I got a place not long after that.
"So," Danny mused. "This guy is our grandfather?" he asked, eyebrows connecting in the middle. I smiled at the familiar face of confusion. I no longer look at my kids and see him. Sure, they have his crook smile and his bronze hair, and sure Danny has his Emerald eyes, but they aren't him. They're Danny Jacob Swan and Sara Carlie Swan, soon to be Black. They're not him, and the moment I realized that was the moment my life began again, the moment I could truly move on, with Jacob.
"Yes, he's my dad, and he's really looking forward to meeting you guys. So let's go say hello." They both moved towards each other, grabbing the others hand, because they were nervous. I loved that about my kids, no matter what happened, they always stuck together. That's how siblings are supposed to act and I couldn't be prouder of them.
"I'll catch up in a minute." Jacob yelled, walking to the back of the car to fetch the kids and mines bags. It was decided upon by Jacob and myself that for the next few weeks we would be living separate lives to make our honeymoon that much more interesting. Jacob was, of course, grim about the idea at first, but I managed to convince him.
And as far as the kids go, for the first week they'll be staying with me at Charlie's and for the second they'll be with Jacob at Billy's. Of course we'll be converting back and forwards throughout those weeks, but that's the sleeping arrangements. They'll love First beach, I'm sure they'll never want to go home again. And Billy will keep them so busy with trivial questions and games that they'll really want to stay there. I'm so happy that he and Charlie agreed to work together and watch the kids while Jacob and I go on our honeymoon. That will be a much needed break.
As the kids and I moved towards the house I noticed the curtain on the front door moving anxiously, Charlie. He always did that after he dropped me off at home from a date, or just hanging out together. I shook my head at the memories of my father flicking the light when he would lean in for a kiss.
"Now Danny, be nice to your grandfather." I warned for the hundredth time.
"Okay mom." He said irritably. I smirked at his all too familiar temper.
"Good, and if you're not, you know who you'll have to deal with." He huffed and looked towards his father, who childishly smiled at him, making my warning as weightless as air.
"Come on Bells," Jacob began as he walked to my side, the kids and my bags in his right arm. He snaked his left arm around my waist and I relaxed almost instantly into his side. "He's going to behave. The kid is a handful, but he's a good kid, besides, he knows what will disappear if he gives you any trouble. It starts with a X- and ends with a X, weird. I've never noticed that." I laughed, shaking my head at his ignorance. It's a freaking X-box, how could you not notice the 'X's'?
"Mom, I promised. I'll behave; besides, I really want him to like me. I want him to stick around so he can know that you didn't make a mistake in having us. That you did a really good job." I gasped and my hands flew to my mouth. That was my seven year old son, who should know nothing about this.
"Where did you get all of that stuff from Danny?" He looked down shyly and a little frighten. Oh god, I know that face, eavesdropping. "Danny you haven't been?"
"No mom I promise. It's just…you and dad talk loud and sometimes Sara and I can hear you through the walls. I didn't mean to listen, but I couldn't help it." He finished in a small voice.
"Oh Danny," I cooed as I got on my knees in front of him. "Mommy's so sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear all of that nonsense. I was just having a little freak out and I said things that I didn't mean. Don't repeat things like that, okay?"
He nodded and turned back to face Charlie's house as the front door swung open. I wasn't surprised that Charlie looked exactly the same as how I left him; short brown curls, big chocolate brown eyes, my eyes, my daughters eyes, and his famous chief of police uniform. The old man's refusing to retire.
"Jacob," He greeted with a nod in Jakes direction, his eyes planted firmly on me. "Bells," He whispered. That was my undoing. I rushed towards my father, leaping onto the porch and in his arms.
"Daddy," I cried into his shoulder as he held me close.
"Shush, its okay Bells, you're home. It's all okay now. I've missed you so much kiddo. The food's toxic around here without you."
"I've missed you too daddy." After our little moment went on for more then a minute there was a small throat being cleared behind us.
"Well," My father said stepping beside me. "These must be the other Swans. I'm Charlie, You must be Danny," He said taking Danny's hand and shaking it firmly. "and you must be Sara." He said offering her his hand. Sara smiled and ran towards Charlie, hugging him tightly.
"And you must be my gramps." She stated as she leaned back to stare up at Charlie.
"I sure am, kid." Charlie whispered, glancing up at me. "I'm your gramps."
"Are you really a cop?" Danny asked.
"You think this badge here is fake?" Charlie asked as he unclipped his badge and tossed it to Danny. Danny looked in awe as he held the gold star in his little shaking hands.
"Mom, he's really a cop. My gramps is a cop!" I giggled at my child's foolish excitement over the same job my fathers' had for over twenty-five years.
"Yeah kiddo, I know. Now why don't you hand that back to your grandfather and help your father with the bags."
"Okay, but can we talk later gramps?" My father chuckled at the seriousness that oozed off of my son as he asked his question.
"Sure thing kid," Danny nodded, satisfied and went to help his father with the bags. "Bell, why don't you ladies go get settled in the house, why we fellows get the bags?" Charlie suggested. I conceded and took Sara in my arms and walked into my fathers' house.
Still, after eight years, his house looked the same as the day my mother left us. I was a bit sad about that fact and a bit pleased, because I love familiarity. I took Sara upstairs to show her where her and her brother would be staying for the week.
The first thing my little girl said was, "Mommy, my room at home is bigger then this." And the first thing I did in response was laugh. Danny and Sara will be staying in my old room and I knew exactly what she meant. Jacob and mines closet back home is bigger then this room.
"It's going to be okay sweetie. You're going to like it here, I promise."
"Mom, mom!" My son screamed as he ran up the stairway to find me.
"What?! Danny, what's wrong?" I asked franticly, grabbing him as he hit the last step and checking him for any injuries.
"Mooooom." He dragged, embarrassed. "I'm fine; gramps said I can take a ride in his cruiser. Isn't that cool?!" He gushed excitedly.
I breathe a breath of relief as my son beamed at me. "Danny, I thought you were hurt. Don't yell like that anymore, you scared me."
"Sorry mom, but isn't that cool? He said we can go after dinner if I asked you, so can I? Can I, can I please mom, I promise to behave forever." I laughed at the little lie he sputtered off just to get me to agree.
Danny is what I like to call, 'the evil twin'. Where Sara is sweet and more reserved, Danny is mischievous and too manipulative at times. He gets that from his father. Jacob always has this glint in his eyes when he wants things to go his way and Danny somehow picked up on it. Now he's a great kid, don't get me wrong, but boy does he give you a work out.
"You can take a ride in the cruiser if you eat all of your veggies, deal?"
He put his little hand in his hair, his fingers raking through it as he thought, leaving the already mess on top of his head even more disheveled. "Deal, if I get to ride for an hour, please mom, pretty please?" He begged.
"Okay, an hour, then when you get back you're going straight into the shower, and then straight to sleep, got it."
"Got it!" he exclaimed excitedly, then threw his arms around my neck, hugging me tight. "I love you mom, I really do, and I love my new pop too, thank you."
"I love you too, kiddo, with all of my heart. And I know your pop feels the same way about you and Sara." He hugged me a while longer before he let go and went back downstairs to his father and pop. "Hey Sara, want to help mommy with dinner?"
She eagerly ran out of my old bedroom and into my arms. Sara is our own little Martha Stewart, without the orange jumpsuit. She loves to cook and help out in the kitchen. She's going to make some man very happy. That thought makes Jacob furious. He's threatened to lock her in her bedroom until after college. I laughed.
Sara and I walked into the kitchen, only to walk right back out and into the living room with the fellows. "Well gentlemen, it seems we are extremely low on food, so Sara and I will do the shopping tomorrow, how about pizza for tonight?"
There was a stream of cheers as Danny and Jacob jumped up in excitement. Sara laughed in my shoulder and I took cover in her hair. The boys love pizza; they especially love it since they haven't been allowed to eat any for the last month. They lost a very exciting bet.
My father called and ordered the pizzas while Jacob, the twins and myself found a movie to watch. Three hilarious arguments, about how Charlie B. Barkin from 'All Dogs Go to Haven' was a scruff cutie, later and we were all sitting around the television watching 'Beauty and The Beast' waiting for the pizzas to arrive.
"So," Charlie began awkwardly. "what's all left to do for the wedding?"
"Oh, everything is pretty much done dad. We have the flowers, the hall, the pastor, Jake has his suit, the wedding party will be down next week so will mom and Phil, I think all we have left is all on me. I have to get my wedding dress."
"You didn't get that first?" My father asked stunned.
"No, I wanted to get it last. I wanted my maid of honor to be here for that and I also wanted Sara to be here."
"Grandma Sara's coming?" Sara asked, enthusiastically.
"She sure is princess," Jacob assured. "and so is pawpaw Billy."
"Pop Billy is coming?" Danny jumped up in excitement.
"Actually," I cut in, happier about seeing my future in laws then my kids. "they live about fifteen minutes from here. We're going to go visit them tomorrow, but daddy has to go after dinner."
"Aw man, mom, why?" Danny wined.
"Because, daddy has to go see his parents too, he won't be gone too long, you'll be with him and pawpaw and Grandma Sara all next week and then again when mommy and daddy go away for a few days."
"Why are you and daddy-" Danny was cut short by the sounding of the door bell. "Pizzas here mom!"
I laughed. Children are so easily distracted.
My father and Jacob stood at the exact same second to pay for the pizza, both wanting to be the 'big man'. I laughed because neither of them had their wallet. Their pissing contest ended before it could start.
I went to the door, a little smug and wallet in hand. Just because they're guys they think they always have to pay. I'm a strong women, I don't need people to pay for me and take care of me like I'm a child. I thank them, but I don't need it. I opened the front door, pulling a bill out of my wallet. "How much?" I asked. Who ever it was didn't answer.
I looked up and was instantly dazed. "Oh! My! God! Rosie!" I screeched.
"With piazza and all!" she retorted in a much more impressive screech. I grabbed her and pulled her into the house. Jacob came charging into the hall totally in protective mode. Rose and I looked at him, looked at each other then busted out laughing. I grabbed the pizza from Rosalie and handed them to Jacob then I very excitedly jumped Rosie.
"Oh, Rosie I've missed you."
"You've missed me; I've missed you, so much, baby girl. Oh my god, Bella, this place was hard to find. No one I know has heard of Forks, Washington, Bella." I laughed.
"Tell me about it. Oh my god Rosie, come in, meet my family."
I dragged her through the hallway and into the living room where Danny blinked repeatedly and Sara smiled beautifully. "Oh my god Bella, they've gotten so big. Look at you Sara, Danny you're so handsome."
"Bells?" Charlie asked hesitantly.
"Oh dad, this is my best friend and made of honor, Rosalie Hale, Rosie, this is my father Charlie Swan, Chief of police of our small little town here."
"Chief of police you say? Well I guess our girls night out is out of the question, aye Bella?" she whispered conspiratorially into my ear before tuning back to my father almost a little too seductively. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Swan." She purred. I had to roll my eyes at Rosie's lack of control. She's such a tease.
"Charlie, please." Charlie corrected.
"Charlie." Rosalie repeated.
"Rosie, are you flirting with my father?" Charlie turned beat red and Rosie smiled.
"Of course not Bells. No offence Charlie, but you can be my dad."
"No offence taken." I snorted at Charlie's modesty.
I pulled Rosie to the couch while everyone else headed to the kitchen to eat their meal. I bugged her with questions that needed answers.
"What are you doing here so early? Are you staying? Where's Royce? How's Jasper?"
"One question at a time baby girl, first, Jasper is fine, he'll be down next week. Secondly, yes, I am staying. Thirdly, what do you mean why am I here? My best friend is getting married in less then fourteen days and I'm her made of honor, of course I'm going to be here for her, and last, but not least, I dumped that loser. He cheated on me with Betty on the fifth floor."
"Big head Betty with the squirrel eyes?"
"No, Betty White from the fifth floor, the one with the two misshaped boobs and the Owen Wilson nose."
"Oh, oh my god what the hell was he thinking? Geez Rosie, I'm sorry. You deserve so much better sweetheart."
"I know, and I'm going to get better. I might even get lucky at your wedding." She winked, showing she was only kidding, but I know Rosalie Hale and that was no joke. "Look, since I'm here early, how about we go look for dresses tomorrow, get a head start?"
"Yeah, that sounds great. We can go down to La Push and pick up Sara and head out from there."
"Sounds good, well, where am I sleeping?"
"Well, since you've come all of this way, unannounced, you get to sleep with me on the nice little sleeping bags my father has."
"Sleeping bags?" she asked skeptically.
"Well, my dear sweet Rosie, it's either that or the floor, you choose."
"Bags it is."
Jake left at Midnight after helping me tuck the kids into bed. He kissed me sweetly with a promise of doing that for the rest of our lives. I went to sleep giddy and longing for his touch. This separation seems ridiculous now. I haven't been away from Jake once in the last eight years. What was I thinking when I suggested this? Oh yeah, I wanted a very pleasuring honeymoon. I'm an idiot.
Friday morning I was unexpectedly woken up by my over zealous son. He had scrambled up on the couch and was straddling my waist. He took my shoulders in both of his hands and shook me.
"Mom. It's time to get up. Come on, mom." I pretended to still be asleep, silently willing him to go away for at least a few more minutes and let me get back to sleep. I was sorrowfully mistaken.
"Mooom. You promised. Come on you have to bring us to dad so we can see grandma and pawpaw." I heard the frustration in his whine so I squinted my eyes open carefully and was startled to see his face inches from mine.
"I knew you were awake!" He exclaimed as his little fingers pried my eyes all the way open. I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him further on my chest where I attacked his sides. He screamed out in surprise, giggling the whole time.
"Do you know what happens when little boys wake up their sleep deprived moms?" I said in my coarse 'I'm going to get you' voice. He laughed harder as my tickling increased.
"S-stop, mo-mmy." I abruptly stopped, as he asked, but his giggling didn't. He glanced up at me from under his lashes with a crafty smile on his face. I watched him closely wondering what was going on in his little nugget when he attacked. His little fingers dug into my sides getting the same reaction that I had gotten out of him moments ago. "You're snorting mom." He said in excitement, his eyes glowing with joy.
"Am not," I argued back childishly. I loved waking up to my kids, it was something that Jake and I cherished each morning.
"Are too, come on mom, pawpaw is burning the eggs." He leaned into me conspiratorially and whispered, "Mom he can't cook at all. I think dads a better cook then him. Isn't that just wrong?" I snorted, ruffling his bronze hair.
"Sure is kiddo. Go on, tell your gramps that he needs to step away from the stove for all of our safety and that I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay." He jumped from the couch after giving me a small peek on the cheek and ran into the kitchen. I closed my eyes, hosting myself from the couch. I stood only to fall and land face first into Rosalie's boobs. I laughed as she squeaked and pushed me off of her.
"Rosie," I complained. "Why were you so close to the couch? You fell asleep over there." I reminded her as I pointed to her cot on the floor by Charlie's lounge chair.
"Better question lesbo, why in the hell were you face deep in my titts?" I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips as I stared at her confused face.
"Because, you know I like 'em big, baby." I snorted, not able to hold the full amusement in.
She shook her head, a smile playing at the edges of her lips. "Get your engaged ass up and fix me food woman, I'm starving."
"Yes ma'am. Go take a shower and your food will be awaiting you. I have to hurry, Charlie's going to burn the house down."
"He can't cook?" Rose asked in mock horrification. I shook me head no and she groaned. "What the hell, who's going to cook for our kids and little Pete?" I looked at her like she'd grown three heads in the last two seconds.
"Who the hell is little Pete, and when the hell did my 'father' father kids for you Rosie?"
"A girl can dream, can't she? And Pete's our three legged dog." She stated with a shrug.
I laughed, tears shrilling down my cheeks. "Sure, dreams sometimes come true, babe." I snorted, hysterically. She picked up the closes pillow to her and hurled it at my face. I fell back laughing.
After breakfast Rose, Sara, Danny and I sat out to find Jacob down in La Push. Danny was so excited to see his father. He was jumping like a little kangaroo in the back of the car. Rose found it highly amusing while Sara looked on in giggles.
"Do I get to be with dad all day?" he asked. "And pawpaw Billy?"
"Yes, all day. The girls are going shopping." I exclaimed.
A/N: Tell me if you guys liked it and then I'll continue to write it!!