The person that invented heels? A man.
The person that invented the corset? A man.
The person that invented hair spray? A gay man; gay but still a man.
I don't know if those are actual facts but I refuse to believe a fellow female would put the rest of the population through this torture.
My feet hurt from standing in these suicidal contraptions since six am. SIX! And the wedding didn't even start till noon. I can barely breathe and that's saying enough of how this thing is strapped to my body since I'm a stick and don't get me started on my hair. I look like freaking Beethoven or Bach or one of those old dudes Bran loves to hear. My hair is taller than me.
As my oldest brother Robb decided to join the rest of the herd and get married I have nothing else to do than mute off whatever the priest is saying and look at the crowd elbowing Sansa back when she says I have to look forward. This is the first Stark Wedding in quite a long time, this is the first Stark celebration of any kind really since Dad died but he's still more present than ever, especially today. He's present in Rob's eyes as he looks at Jeyne like Dad used to look at Mom, he's present in Jon's natural brooding presence that you'd think he was at a funeral than an actual wedding. He's present in no matter how popular Robb is more people came because of the fact that Ned's boy was getting married and they came to give their best wishes. But mainly he was present with his money. Yup, Old Mommy Dearest sure loves a good spot in the social pages.
I feel thorns digging into my fingers as I squeeze the life of out my bouquet. I can't help it. I want to paint this wedding red as my eyes land on the first row and see Catelyn Tully / Stark / Stark / Baelish wiping her eyes as her husband comforts her. Her husband, never my father… I only had one father and she didn't even wait a year to shack up with that slimy bastard and call him husband. Ugh. I continue to scan the crowd very ladylike flipping Hot Pie off as he takes a pictures of me, try to stifle my laugh as I see Rickon asleep on a bench and wonder what the hell is Smalls doing in the back row instead next to Robb and the groomsmen. Wait a minute. I turn and see my boyfriend in fact right between Theon and Bran. I do a double take. Tall, dark hair, broad shoulders, blue eyes not brown. Smalls has brown eyes, not blue. Certainly not electric blue, clear eyes that are looking directly at me. Hellooooooo Hot Guy.
Sansa elbows me again but I don't give a damn, it's a wedding ceremony and the words are in the bible, seriously what new thing can I learn? Back to the stranger. When I get a good look; tall and dark are about all the similarities between him and my boyfriend. Smalls's hair is cut military style while Hot Guy has what you would refer to as 'just fucked hair' that he keeps getting out of his eyes as he smirks at me. Which tells me that not only did he caught me checking him out but that he knows he's hot resulting at the fact that he's a conceited asshole. I roll my eyes and look at Smalls who is more attentive at what the priest is saying than Robb. That. Worries. Me. Back to Hot Guy it is.
While they're both tall; Smalls is like a safe, just big and square. While Hot Guy? Ugh… let me tell ya, you can see through his very nice Tom Ford suit (what? Didn't think I had it in me? Who do you think dresses up Jon?) that he has wide shoulders but a very narrow waist, strong torso and I'm torn between wondering if he has a six or an eight pack. Who is this guy? He must be from Jeyne's side of the family.
"Is there anyone here present who knows any lawful reason why this young man and this young woman cannot be joined in marriage? If so, please speak now or forever hold your peace"—The priest says making the entire wedding party minus Jeyne look back at Mom. I snicker knowing that thanks to her whole ancient class differential attitude everyone is ready to rip her head off if she dared to lift a hair on her eyebrows but nop, the cameras are on her. Mommy Dearest smiles and wipes a tear with her monogrammed hanker-shift. E.S it says… Sansa takes the flowers out of my hand, entwining hers with mine giving a strong shake. She noticed it as well.
"There's going to be alcohol soon…"—She whispers to me and winks which I appreciate. We're sister in the end.
"… and now I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride"—
The crowd erupts and finally I feel the tears coming because I'm happy for Robb, I really am. People think that Jon is my favorite but they have it wrong. Jon is my go - to guy cuz I know he'll always have my back but Robb? Robb is the one who will call me on my shit whenever I'm messing things up; which has been a lot. Jon might have the looks but Robb has the reassuring touch that Dad had. To make me cry more he kisses Sansa on the head but messes my hair up as he walks by us just like daddy did…
"Arry? Are you ok?"—Smalls asks as he walks in front of me with the other Jeyne, the Poole Bitch.
"Its ok" I shrug because it's me. I don't do the whole feelings thing and follow the rest of the wedding party lead by the new Mr and Mrs Stark. Followed by Jon and Ygritte, Theon and Sansa, Smalls and the Poole Bitch while I walk alone at the back. There was supposed to be another groomsman but he never showed up. The Bitch was putting up such a show crying, shouting that she was stood up that I couldn't take it anymore so I told her she could walk with Smalls.
"Allow me M'lady. This way you can take a proper look at me"— A voice startles me and a hand grabs my elbow. I turn my head and look up, up, up and up and see that Hot Guy is walking next to me. His suave suit ruined by a tie that has the same color that ruined the whole ceremony, the ugly orange that is also the color of my dress.
"Motherfucker finally made it"—Theon says giving Hot Guy a nod which he returns but continues to look at me.
"What? Star struck? You didn't seem so shy a while ago"-
I roll my eyes, definitely a conceited asshole. "This a private ceremony. I was going to call security since I don't know you"
"Yet I know so much about you Arya Stark but now that I've laid my eyes on you I'd like to know much, much more"—
I gasp, holy shit is voice is hot. It's deep, like a growl and right at my ear it goes straight to the jackpot. My knees start to shake and the bastard knows it, his hands leaves my elbow but not his touch. He drags his hand up my arm, squeezes ever so gently my neck, softly goes down my back but lands with a firm grip around my hip pulling me to his side so I don't fall down. He; in a very classy way, just felt me up in a church right in front of my boyfriend and damn if I care!
I'm startled when the massive church doors are opened and the sunlight comes in. Rays of sunshine, bubbles and freaking doves cloud my vision but I feel him; Hot Guy. I swear I can physically feel his eyes on my skin oh wait. That was something very much physical. He just groped my ass.
"Son of a Bitch you made it!"—Robb says barreling over us and giving Hot Guy a huge hug while I walk over to pillar and straighten myself up.
"Arry I think we should skip the whole photo-shoot. You look pale, you didn't eat your breakfast this morning"—Smalls says producing a Milky Way Bar from his jacket and handing it over to me, he can't spent 30 minutes without eating. Sorry Hon, it's not my stomach that's making me pale. It's my vagina.
"Please, please… can we gather around for a group picture?"—The photographer says and again, my insides churn.
"I'm sorry but you're in my spot"—Hot guys says blatantly putting his hand on my lower back as he stares at Smalls right in the eye. Wow, they're the same size. No one is as tall as Smalls, hell I think he's taller.
"Excuse me?"—
"Picture wise. I'm already with her on the pictures walking out of the church. Is all about aesthetics. I should remain next to her for the whole shoot."—
"Oh… ok"—Smalls says placated by the sad excuse, walking away.
"That has to be possibly that most pathetic excuse I have ever heard in my entire life"
"Yet he bought it hook, line and sinker. Not much up there in the head department is there?"—
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk like that about my boyfriend"
"Boyfriend? Really? Uh… I guess you aren't perfect. Shitty boyfriends must be your flaw"—
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Guys, get up here. We want to go to the reception and get this party started"—Robb says as I take a step back. Noticing how incredibly close I was to Hot Guy that I could feel his breath on my lashes.
Robb is going to kick my ass once he sees the wedding album. I'm sure my face can be describe as constipated in every single picture. I am pissed off! I mean, who the hell is this guy and who does he thinks he is? Talking about me and Smalls like he knows us. I attack Smalls as soon as the godforsaken photo-shoot ends and we're alone in the car.
"Thank you Arry"—
"Smalls how many times have I have to tell you you don't have to thank me for kissing you. I'm your girlfriend"
"I know but I like you kissing me. It's nice. When someone does nice things to you you say thank you"—
"Oh I can give you something more than nice for you to thank me for" I say as I unbuckle his seat-belt and straddle him, sliding his zipper down but he stops my hand.
"Arry. This is your brother's day. I promise we'll have sex once we get home"—
"But whyyyyyyyy?" I whine. Translation = I'm hoooooooooooorny. Blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes. Damn him!
"Because we're part of the wedding party. We have to follow a schedule and I am sure as hell not showing up with you after having sex. Your face goes a disturbing shade of red when you orgasm"—
"That won't be a problem since I don't have my vibrator" I mutter, going back to my seat more frustrated than ever.
"What did you say?"—He says eating another candy bar.
"Nothing… let's just go"
"I wonder what the menu is"—Smalls says as he finally starts the car and rides to the reception.
Have I told you how much I hate weddings?