Just a quick little something I wrote some time ago. c": Hope you enjoy!
Naruto (c) M. Kishimoto
NaruSasu... er... SasuNaru...?; yaoi.
"Do you even know what the hell that word means, Naruto?"
The blond scowled at the other. "Fuck you. Yes, I do!"
"Really?" Kiba grinned. "Then what's it mean, Mr. Genius?"
Naruto grit his teeth, eyes narrowing as they scowered the ground, as if it held the answers he needed. It didn't. "Fuck you guys!" he stormed off down the hall, Kiba laughing after him as the blond turned a corner.
"Kiba, do you even know what 'sycophant' means?" Sasuke perked an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms as he leaned against his locker.
Kiba's chuckling had trailed off, index finger having been rubbing at the tip of his nose before Sasuke's question, which made him frown, hand lowering. "... It... ... It's something along the lines of, like, cocky or something, right?"
Sasuke snorted, rolling his eyes. He was surrounded by idiots. Why did he surround himself with idiots? Why? Was it some sort of self torture? Probably. Or maybe he needed the confidence boost: surround yourself with idiots, make yourself seem more intelligent. Like fat people surrounding themselves with fatter people to look more skinny. Except Sasuke wasn't 'fat'; he wasn't 'stupid' in anyway. He didn't believe he was. He was a straight A student and had been the majority of his life - besides a few Bs from teachers who must have hated him when he was in elementary school, but he doesn't like to talk about that.
The bell shrilled, screaming through-out the halls, informing the students school was to begin in exactly five minutes and that they should all get their asses to their classes, which Kiba and Sasuke promptly did.
Sasuke was a little worried to where Naruto had stalked off to, but didn't let it unsettle him too much to ditch class. He and Kiba sat in their respective seats. They loved having literature as their first class - the teacher was always late, which meant it wasn't actually a worry for them to be late, and they enjoyed the further time to chat amongst themselves, though Sasuke got irritated sometimes with how ridiculous the class would get with such freedom.
It was a good seven minutes into the class before the door swung open, banging into the wall on the other side and hitting the picture hung there, hard enough for it to fall, the glass shattering and picture frame breaking from hitting the ground. The class was thrown into silence at the action before looking to the criminal.
Naruto grimaced. "Oops... I'll get that later. You!" He suddenly threw a finger in Sasuke's direction, who just slowly blinked uninterestedly. The blond stalked over, a large book tucked under his arm as he wore a wicked, rather arrogant grin. "It's a person who uses flattery to win favor from individuals wielding influence! It's a self-seeking, survile flatterer, or a fawning parasite!"
Sasuke just stared at him. He wasn't quite sure why the blond seemed so pleased with himself when he needed a fucking dictionary to tell him that. He was pretty damn sure the blond didn't even fucking know what 'survile' meant. He pretty much just read the exact definiton word-for-word. "... Congratulations. You can read a dictionary. I'm thoroughly impressed. I'm glad I've helped you actually learn something today, Uzumaki." He smirked. "I know that's a hard thing to do."
Naruto's brow twitched. "Why, you - !"
"Good morning, class. ... Naruto, is there a problem?" Mr. Hatake inquired as he shut the door behind himself. He blinked, hearing a crunch beneath his feet. He frowned, looking to the glass all over the floor. "... What happened?" He flicked his gaze back to Naruto, instantly knowing he was the source of this mess. He typically was.
Naruto grimaced. "Er... ... Sasuke did it." He pointed at the raven, who snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I'm sure Uchiha is just so fond of vendalism. I'm also sure your mother would be happy to hear you got suspended for breaking something again, Naruto."
"No, please!" Naruto exclaimed, now hugging the dictionary, making Sasuke think he looked rather girlish like that. The class sniggered at the blond, amused by the show. "I'll clean it up! And don't tell Baachan - she doens't need to know either! And my mom doens't need to know!"
"I won't tell the principal if you clean it up now." Mr. Hatake gestured the mess as he strolled over to his desk, pulling his tie loose a good amount. He only looked professional on his initial way to his classroom and when he left for the day. Between, he undid his jacket, loosened his tie, and sometimes even took off his shoes. He was somehow a brilliant teacher, yes, but he was also the most relaxed, or perhaps laziest, teacher any of them would ever meet. "You know where the broom is," he said, giving a lazy gesture towards the door to the closet.
Naruto sighed heavily, plopping the book onto Kiba's desk, coinscidentally on the snickering brunette's hand, who then yelped and nursed his hand and scowled at the blond as he went.
"Oi, lemme borrow your lighter," Sasuke said to Kiba, having pulled a cigarette into his mouth. He may be a straight A student, but that didn't mean he was passed a few bad habits here and there.
"Why?" Kiba grumbled, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the raven, as if he had a mad plan to take over the world with the bloody thing or something.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Because I left mine at home, you fuck. Now gimme."
"Gimme gimme never gets," Kiba scolded, despite the fact he was handing the Uchiha his lighter anyway.
Sasuke had to flick it a few times before it burned a good cherry into his cigarette. The damn wind was annoying today, and it always seemed to be worse in the back of the school than anywhere else. He blamed it on the forest just beyond the fence line. Wasn't sure how, but he blamed all them motherfucking trees. He took a long drag from his cancer stick before tossing the lighter back to the other, who was already nursing one of his own.
They'd spend the last ten minutes of every lunch out here, taking a smoke break. Naruto was their watch, being the only non-smoker of the group, sitting just inside the barely propped open door, scouting for any teachers possibly coming their way.
"I wish you'd guys stop fucking smoking. It's such a pain," the blond mumbled irritatably.
"You sound like Nara," Kiba retorted.
"Just without the protegy bit," Sasuke digged, smirking as he pulled his cigarette from his lips and blew out the smoke, watching as it disappeared, taken away by the wind.
"Fuck you, Uchiha."
"Wanna?"
"Not in front of me!" Kiba hollered before Naruto had a chance to respond, his arms flailing as if he was trying to dispell a nasty smell from around him, head shaking dramatically from side to side. He looked like a wet dog trying to shake dry.
Sasuke just smirked, chuckling a little as he replaced the cigarette to his lips, leaning his back against the cool brick wall of the school structure. "When are you gonna get over your homophobia, Inuzuka?"
Kiba scowled at him. "I'm not homophobic! I wouldn't want to hear about anyone else's sex life either! Mine's private. Everyone else's should be private. It's a private thing!"
"How can something be private when it's non-existing?" Sasuke smirked again, watching as a little bug crawled on his shoe.
Kiba gaped like a dieing fish, not sure how to respond to that for a numerous amount of seconds before he suddenly blabbered something out. "Y-Yeah, well - well, th-that's none of your fucking business, you - you fucking twat ass motherfucker!" He waggled a finger in the raven's direction, who just inclined his head towards the dog boy.
"I assure you, I fuck no mothers. Not quite my taste. But dashing young brunettes have seemed to spark my interest lately." He gave a viciously implicating smirk, making the other pale considerably.
Naruto snorted. "Jesus Christ, you're such a whore, Uchiha."
Sasuke frowned. "I am not."
"Who are you nailing this time?"
"... Hyuuga," Sasuke answered after a moment, looking away as his lungs pulled in another intake of smoke.
Kiba reared his head. "That freaky long-haired guy who wears black nail-polish all the time?"
Sasuke just nodded before slowly letting the smoke spill from his lips.
"Doesn't he hang out with that freak Gaara Sabbath or something?"
"Sabbath?" Naruto snorted. "It's Subaku, numbnut."
"You're one to talk, fucknut," Kiba retorted, the two glaring at each other, though Kiba could only see a sliver of Naruto through the door.
"Why him?" Naruto suddenly inquired back to Sasuke, looking to the raven as he shrugged.
"Why not?"
"Cuz he's creepy."
"He's actually quite smart. Extremely cynical, and rather hateful, but very smart," Sasuke stated. "Probably almost up to par with Shikamaru. Almost. Subaku, too."
"You're nailing Gaara, too? You are a whore!" Naruto grinned, earning a satisfying scowl from Sasuke.
"I meant, Gaara is intelligent too. Although someone like you wouldn't know what such a thing feels like, would you? How bad does it hurt, having stupidity slam into your fucking face every morning you wake up?"
The two glared heavily at each other, Naruto growling lowly.
Kiba just shook his head. "Whatever. I don't wanna hear about Uchiha's ever so popular and growing sex life." He wrinkled his nose.
"Probably riddled with diseases," Naruto grumbled, glaring back down the hall. He yelped in pain when the door was suddenly kicked into his face. He groaned loudly, holding his forehead.
"Whoops," Sasuke hissed as he stormed passed the moron and down the hall.
"You fucking asshole!" Naruto screamed after him, almost shaking with anger.
"Dude, you're gonna get in trouble," Kiba muttered to him as he entered the building as well, though through the other given door. He held out a hand, Naruto not bothering to take it as he used the wall as a crutch to stand. He always noticed Naruto gave his most perfect skin-melting glares specially to the Uchiha.
"Fuck if I care! I wanna fucking beat his ass sometimes, Kiba! Why the hell does he have to be nice-ish sometimes and then a complete fucking prick the others?!"
Kiba sighed, shaking his head again as he went. "Maybe he's not the one being a prick sometimes, Naruto."
"The hell is that supposed to mean, Inuzuka?! Hey!"
Kiba just kept walking.
"How many times are you going to comb your fucking hair? It's going to look like shit no matter what you do."
"Fuck you, Uchiha," Kiba grunted as he stroked the comb quickly through his hair, trying to perfect whatever the hell he was trying to get it to do.
Sasuke always thought Kiba's hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed and did absolutely nothing with it. He didn't realize for a while that Kiba actually styled his hair that way. Why? He didn't want to even bother knowing.
"Oi, Naruto's pretty pissed at you for that door thing." Kiba just barely caught site of the other boy's jaw clenching briefly. "It's probably gonna leave 'im with a bruise..." he murmured.
"Is he now? Good for him, the fucktard."
Kiba rolled his eyes, arms flopping to his side as he turned to face his friend, pointing at him with his comb. "Seriously? How long is this going to go between you guys? Why the fuck are even with Hyuuga, Sasuke? Really. I mean - "
"I'm not with Hyuuga."
"What the hell does he even have to offer? First, it was Shino, then it was Kabuto, then it was - "
"I haven't been with any of them."
"Orochimaru - and that was a fucking teacher, dude. Seriously. Creepy motherfucker, too."
"That was a rumor." Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.
"And don't even get me started on Deidara. I mean, really, your brother's own boyfriend - "
"I didn't fucking sleep with Deidara!" Sasuke hollered finally, glaring at Kiba. "I didn't sleep with Hyuuga, I didn't sleep with Shino, I didn't sleep with Kabuto or Orochimaru, either! And I certainnly did not sleep with my brother's sloppy ass seconds!" Sasuke threw his arms together, leaning back against the wall, as he so typically did, scowling at the ground now.
Kiba blinked, staring at the raven. "... You didn't sleep with any of them?"
"No!"
Now Kiba was confused. "But - But then why the fuck have you been telling us all these years that you have? Why would anyone falsely be a whore? What in the hell is there to gain from that?"
"Because!" Sasuke said, slightly flailing his arms, almost startling Kiba. "Naruto seems so fucking happy with that fucking boyfriend Sai of his! I didn't want him to think I was just some lone loser!"
Kiba stared at Sasuke again, but much longer, slowly trying to understand such a way of logic. He thought he sort of understood, but then again, he didn't have this problem. He'd been with Hinata for quite a few years now, and never had any other crushes, so. "...So making him think you're an asstastic whore is all the better?" He shook his head a little at the last word.
"Well - " Sasuke frowned, looking elsewhere, arms limp at his sides. "When... When you said it like that, it's - "
"It sounds as ridiuclous as it really fucking is?" Kiba interrupted.
Okay, Sasuke always thought he wasn't an idiot - until now. He frowned deeply at this. It wasn't a very nice feeling at all.
"You both are ridiculous." Kiba threw up his hands before leaving the bathroom.
"Jesus, take a long enough piss?"
"Ran into Sasuke, sorry," Kiba said as he sat down in his desk, huffing some as he shoved his comb back into his bag.
"... Fun shit. You seem pissed off. What did he do now?" Naruto laid his arm over his desk and propped his chin in his palm, waiting to hear something expectant of the raven.
"Apparently," because Kiba fucking knew Sasuke would never fucking tell Naruto, and that Sasuke not wanting Naruto to know this being the exact reason why he was telling, "Sasuke has never slept with all the fuckers he's said he slept with."
Naruto hadn't been expecting that. "... What?"
"Yup." Kiba flailed his hands a little. "Not a damn one. I don't even fucking know if the fucker's lost his virginity. Didn't care to ask. Biggest whore of the school turns out to be the biggest fucking liar. At least for the better, but whatever." He shook his head. "What, in the fuck, ever."
Naruto's brow knit. "I don't understand."
"As long as we're in the same boat..." Kiba grumbled, scratching his fingers through the hair he had just spent a good five minutes combing for whatever fucking reason.
"That's... That's just it? He had no, like, motivation for that shit?"
"... I wouldn't say no motivation."
Naruto waited for a better answer, and was irritated when none came. "Well?"
"..." Kiba exploded a sigh, glancing around at everyone else.
Since Mr. Umino was dragged out of the classroom by Mr. Hatake for whatever unquestionable reason, the grammar class was left to their own devices. Which meant most of the students were busy with their friends or groups and such.
Kiba leaned in close, whispering to Naruto. "Because you're with Sai, Sasuke didn't wanna seem like a loser."
Naruto reared his head. "What? Why the fuck would he seem like a loser?"
"Because the person he likes is with someone else."
"When the hell did Sasuke start liking Sai? I didn't even think the two knew each other."
Kiba couldn't help it. He had to face-palm. He just had to. He wanted his palm to hit himself so hard in the face, Naruto would somehow feel it. Rather, maybe he should just high-five Naruto's face.
"Wait..." Naruto said after a moment.
Oh, maybe the blond's face could be saved yet.
"He... ... It's... ... It's not... Sai... is it...?"
Kiba slowly shook his head, having his eyes closed from the prior facial impact.
"... Um... ... Oh."
"What a thoughtful reply," Kiba said dryly, rolling his eyes to look over at Naruto. "That all you have to say about that?"
"... He's gonna kill you for telling me."
Kiba stared. "... And?"
"... ... And what?" Naruto squirmed in his seat at Kiba's expectant stare.
The brunette scowled. "Are you going to do anything about it?"
"What can I do?"
"Uh, either break up with Sai and go flying into Sasuke's arms, or just reject Sasuke flat out."
Naruto frowned. "I can't reject him when he hasn't technically given me anything to reject, now can I, you idiot?"
Kiba frowned next. "... Oh, what the fuck ever!" He flailed his arms before leaning back in his chair, grumpy, crossing his arms. "I didn't ask to be in the middle of this!"
"Besides, I can't break up with someone I've never, erm... been with."
Kiba stared at a particular ceiling tile, lips set into a stern line. "... What?"
Naruto said nothing, looking away from the brunette.
"What?" Kiba slowly looked to the blond, just barely holding back the want to gnash his teeth together.
"... I, uh... I've never... I was never with Sai. I mean... He - Before I switched here from my other school, we, uh... We sort of had, like, a chemistry, I guess, but... I switched before anything could happen... And... ... Um. Yeah."
"... You've been lieing about having a boyfriend for the past year and a half?"
"Well, rumors were going around that Sasuke was whoring up the school! And Sasuke was apparently relishing in them! It was the only thing I could think of!"
"What the fuck did it matter that rumors like that were going around?"
"Because the person I liked was apparently a whore who had no interest in me!"
Naruto jumped at the painfully loud smack Kiba's forehead made with the surface of his desk.
"You and you." Kiba pointed at Sasuke. "Sasuke had rumors about sleeping with two others and a teacher before you came to this school, Naruto. At the time, they were simply rumors. Sasuke wasn't 'relishing' in them, but didn't really do anything to stop them because he just never gives a single fucking fuck." He pointed at Naruto. "Then you came, heard about the rumors and shit and for some fucked reason, you pretend to have a fucking boyfriend the next almost two years. Because Sasuke had finally actually taken a realistic liking to someone and that someone had suddenly had a fucking boyfriend from a past school, Sasuke then decided to relish in the fucking whoring rumors so Naruto wouldn't think him a loser, as Naruto didn't fucking want Sasuke to think him a fucking loser." Kiba slapped his hands together. "Conclusion: You're both fucking retarded, have no sensible way of logic, and are fucking retarded. As well, you both fucking like each other and should quit being fucking retarded. Love maker Kiba is fucking done! The two of you can go right ahead and fuck in the fucking Janitor's closet while I go see my fucking girlfriend who actually knows the fucking definition of sanity!" Kiba threw his arms into the air, turned on his heal, and stormed off, hissing and cursing the both of them.
Sasuke and Naruto stared after the brunette, Naruto shifting his weight from one side to the other as he chewed on the inside of his lip now. They glanced back at each other, their gazes meeting briefly before they were both casted downwards.
"... So... you lied, too, huh...?" Sasuke murmured, digging his foot into the ground some.
"Yeah..." Naruto muttered, looking elsewhere awkwardly.
"So... ... Guess we're both stupid here, huh?"
"Yeah," Naruto said with idle bob of his head.
"I'm still not as stupid as you." Sasuke smirked.
Naruto scowled at him, but grinned regardless. "Fuck you, Sasuke."
"Wanna?"
Naruto's grin stretched wider as he moved to stand just in front of the raven, balling up a good portion of the other's shirt. "You've no idea how many times I've fantasized of doing just that."
Sasuke's fingers snaked up to clench tight on a good chunk of golden locks. "Then how about you really impress me, bitch?"
"I ain't the bitch here," Naruto breathed over the raven's lips.
"Prove it," Sasuke whispered before their mouths collided.
THE END. Lol, poor Kibster.
Yeeeah... Just. Idk. I asked my friend again and she gave me five items, including: hair brush (I did comb, SAME THING), lighter, nail polish, picture frame, and a dictionary, lmao. Idfk. ENJOIII.
Oh&review?