Disclaimer: I am but a fan fiction writer, I don't own anyone.
Notes: I don't really specify anyone in the fic, but given who I tend to write about (that being Lita/Amy Dumas) then make your guesses from there.
Sometimes he thinks he can still see her in the hallways or the catering hall backstage, but he eventually realizes it's just the light playing tricks on him or memories that just refuse to die. But he knows he doesn't need his eyes checked and he certainly doesn't want to forget her anytime soon.
He refuses to make her just a memory anyway and he keeps constant reminders of her everywhere he goes. From the locker room to his hotel room to the bedroom they used to share; she's not really gone … she's just waiting for him to join her.
Sometimes he thinks he can still hear her laughter or her mock reprimanding ringing clear through the locker room, but he knows that just can't be the case … and it's not because she isn't there, but it's because the last time he heard her voice; she was crying.
He wishes that he didn't have to remember her that way and he knows that he doesn't have to, but somehow he does. It doesn't make her weak, he reminds himself, and it just adds another layer to her.
Sometimes he thinks she'll still be there in the parking lot or at the airport, or holding a spot in line at the rental car counter or even at the hotel. Sometimes he forgets and makes reservations for four instead of three, but they don't bother to correct him when they get there.
She's haunting him, but in a good way he thinks, her presence was never overbearing; it was a constant comfort for him in a world of chaos. He wouldn't exactly call her a security blanket, but she certainly helped him sleep easier.
Sometimes when it gets to be too much, when he thinks that no one else is watching so they won't see his weakness; he finally lets himself cry.
Sometimes when he's waking up in a cold sweat because he's reliving a nightmare, he wonders why it wasn't him … and why it had to be her.
Sometimes he does get angry because he doesn't want her to wait for him to join her, they should have gone together. But not until much later because they still had a lot of living to do and more memories to make and moments to spend doing nothing but enjoying the other's presence.
Sometimes he wishes that reality wasn't what it was and that she wasn't gone, but the truth of it is … she is gone and he can't follow her. And it isn't because he doesn't want to follow her, because sometimes he really does want to, but it's because he can't follow her. It was part of their game after all, she would run and hide and he would pursue and eventually she would let herself be caught.
But now … well now, he just couldn't follow her because she wasn't hiding, but because she was gone. Even when he can still hear the sound of her voice moaning low in his ear, still see her fiery red hair fanned across his chest, still feel her body curled tightly against his, still taste that very unique essence that is her or still smell her shampoo on his pillow … he knows full well that she's gone and she isn't coming back.
- FIN -