Mistaken Identity

Ed slowly came to consciousness. A bad headache wouldn't allow him to sleep any longer, and the hospital smell worried him. He opened his eyes to confirm the hospital theory. - Everything in the room was white, and there was a bouquet of daffodils sitting on a counter, along with two get-well-soon cards nearby. Ed couldn't seem to recall the last thing that happened to him, although that wasn't too unusual. He figured, when Al jogs his memory a little, everything will come rushing back to him all too soon. Talking about Al... Ed sat up to see the familiar suit of armor sitting in a chair close to the bed.

"You're finally awake!" Al said cheerfully as he jumped to his feet.

Ed smiled slightly and rubbed the side of his head with his left hand. He noticed that someone had taken his braid down. "Yeah. I sure have a headache, though." Wait a minute... Did his voice always sound that way? Ed didn't pay attention to Al as he said something about doctors and painkillers. Well, Ed figured, he was in a hospital, so maybe he had a cold... Come to mention it, it did seem kind'a chilly in the room. He then realized that he must have been wearing a hospital gown. There's no mistaking the feel of that strange fabric. What are those things made of? - Paper towels? Ed glanced down to see that he was, indeed, wearing a light blue hospital gown. He'd have to run down a doctor and order them to bring him back his clothes, and then Al and him could get the h- Wait a minute...

"So after Pinako called to tell us, I-"

"Al!" Ed shrieked suddenly. After getting Al's attention, he ripped the hospital gown to expose his chest. "Does this look normal to you?!"

Al quickly turned his head away and put a hand over where his eyes would be, if he had any. "I really wouldn't know..."

"Look at these! What did those doctors do while I was out?!" Ed exclaimed.

"Please, Winry... Could you cover up...? If you think the doctors did something wrong, I could get one of them to take a look..."

Ed widened his eyes. Did Al just call him... Ed began to feel dizzy. He glanced at his right arm. It wasn't automail. In fact... he began to remember that, when he had touched his head earlier, his hair seemed thicker than usual... And maybe softer... And it seemed longer...

Ed took a deep breath.

And screamed.

Al took his hand away from his eyes and put both of his hands over his ears - or again, where they would have been if he had any. After a few seconds, Al realized that Ed wasn't going to stop screaming any time soon. Al ran over to the side of Ed's bed, trying to talk over the screaming as he said, "Winry, please! Please stop screaming, Winry!"

"Stop calling me Winry! I'm Ed! ED!" Ed screamed to Al. Why did his voice have to sound so much like Winry's as he said that?!

"Win-" Al began to say, when Ed shot him a very upset glare. "Ed," he corrected himself (at least "Ed" wasn't screaming anymore), "that's not possible. You can't be Brother!"

"What's so unbelievable about it?! You know as well as I do that alchemy can achieve a lot of things! My head hurts, Al," he said and pointed at his head for emphasis, "don't you think that could be a side effect from some type of soul-switching alchemy?! You must remember all the strange things we've seen during the past several years!"

"But..." Al hesitated. He sighed. "...Well, Brother's de-"

Ed widened his eyes, then closed them tightly and shouted, "No, I don't want to hear it! Don't tell me!" He cupped his hands over his ears. He just couldn't listen to Al say that he was dead. He couldn't be dead. He was alive last time he checked! ...If he was dead, could someone have attached his spirit to Winry's body, same as how he had attached Al's spirit to that suit of armor? If so, the alchemist who did it definitely wasn't Al... No. No, that didn't happen, because he wasn't dead. This was just some type of nightmare, or practical joke, or something.

And that's what he kept telling himself the rest of the day.

Ed gave his milk a disgusted look before turning his head away from it. He swung his arm out without looking and the bottle was knocked off the tray and landed on the floor. "Oops..." A sly smirk came to his lips. Muffled voices reached his ear and Ed curiously glanced toward the door.

"So she still believes she's Ed?" Of course he still believed he was Ed! He was Ed!

"Yeah... The doctor said it was some type of amnesia." Amnesia?! He remembered who he was! He didn't have any memory loss! Al knew that! "...Let me talk to her before you come in, okay?" Would they stop referring to him as "her"?! He's a guy! A guy!

Ed heard the door creak open and watched as Al entered the room.

"...You braided your hair," Al acknowledged, his voice indicating that he was a little startled.

"Of course I braided my hair! I always wear my hair in a braid!" Ed snapped at Al and folded his arms across his... chest... Ed decided to put his hands by his sides, instead. He turned his eyes toward the bed sheets as he said, "It was too annoying down. I don't know how Winry stands it... It also took a long time to braid. I was half tempted to cut it off, but I'm afraid of Winry and her wrench after all of this is over."

Ed heard a soft splash and turned to see Al's metal foot in the puddle of white liquid on the floor, by the bed. Al didn't say anything as he moved his foot out of the puddle.

Ed's head snapped up as he heard the door open again, this time suddenly.

"You're looking short today, Fullmetal." That smirk! That awful smirk!

"Who are you calling so small he has to stand on stilts to be at eye level with a Chihuahua?!"

As Ed seethed on the bed, Mustang asked, "Are you sure this isn't your brother, Alphonse?" and pointed toward Ed with his thumb.

"Colonel..." Al sighed and shook his head, as though saying, "don't encourage him".

"Of course I'm his brother!" Ed insisted.

"I'd believe it," Mustang said with a shrug. Who knew Mustang could be more sensible than Ed's own brother? "Dress 'im up in red and black and I'm sure no one at Headquarters will even notice."

Ed had to admit that he would be glad to get out of the hospital, get his clothes back, and get back to work trying to find the philosopher's stone. But, what a minute...

"What?! I can't go around looking like this!" Ed exclaimed, gesturing toward his chest region. And... was Mustang suggesting something about him looking like a girl before this happened?

The smirk and amused gleam in Mustang's eye faded. "Then what are you planning to do, Fullmetal?"

Ed was taken aback. His gaze fell to the sheets on the bed. "I..." He clenched his fists at his sides and looked straight into Mustang's eyes as he said, "I'll think of something. I assure you - I'll figure out a way to fix things." His newly sapphire eyes blazed with determination.

"But... Ed, how...?" Al asked and trailed off. Well, he was calling him Ed without a prompt now - that was a good sign.

"I'll go to the library and do some research," Ed decided. After a minute, realizing that no one was going to respond to that, Ed added, "Well? Go get me some clothes!"

"You want to go now?" Al asked in alarm.

"Why not?!" Ed demanded.

Al gasped, nodded, and then ran for the door, not wanting to know what Ed would do to him if he didn't. Mustang spoke as Al reached for the doorknob, causing the suit of armor to pause.

"You do realize... You'll have to wear a dress."

Ed was quick to respond with, "There's no way I'm wearing a dress! Why would I have to do that!?"

"Well... You can't expect to wear your usual outfit." That sentence was said as a question, and Mustang raised an eyebrow.

"And why not?!"

"Think of it this way... You assume Miss Rockbell will get her body back at some point, don't you?"

"Of course!"

"Then, what would she do to you when she finds out you've been parading around town, in her body, wearing something she wouldn't dream of? And on the other hand, what if people realize it's you and rumors get out that the Fullmetal Alchemist had a sex change?"

Ed let out a terrified yelp. He was definitely not going to wear his usual outfit, now. Wait... Just a minute ago, didn't Mustang suggest that he wear that outfit to Headquarters?

"Does this mean you'll wear the dress?" Mustang asked, a smirk spreading across his face. That guy really wanted to see him in a dress, didn't he? That gay b...

"No! Like I said before, there's no way I'm wearing a dress!" Ed glanced over to see that Al was still standing at the door, apparently having listened to his and Mustang's discussion the whole time. "If I can't go in pants, Al can go to the library and check out several books for me."

"Uh... Okay..." Al said, letting go of the doorknob.

"Get me a pencil and paper, and I'll write down what I want you to find."

"If you have it all figured out, I guess I might as well take my leave," Mustang said and turned to go.

"Wait a minute, Mustang. How do I know you're not going to tell everyone about this?" Ed asked with narrowed eyes. "Or that you haven't already?"

"What? And let such a fine opportunity for blackmail pass me by?" Mustang asked without turning to look at Ed and slipped outside the hospital room.

"Heh. I should have known," Ed said and shook his head, a smile trying to make its way to his lips. "Even after everything's back to normal... from now on, every time I'm late on a report, he'll bring this up as some sick form of motivation. Everything he's said today - just for some blackmail."

Al sighed. "I think Mustang just wanted to make sure no one saw you like this..."

Ed stayed up all night last night reading from the stack of books Al had brought back from the library. Several times during the early hours of the day, Al had asked Ed to get some sleep, but Ed had refused every time. He eventually fell asleep around 5am, but woke up at 7:30 and started reading again.

Ed silently cursed the page he was currently on and furiously marked through a formula he had written in his notes. The words in the book were beginning to blur from lack of sleep, and it was unintelligible enough to begin with. It was some pretty complicated alchemy. Whoever wrote these books must have wanted people to stay up several nights in a row in order to read them. Ed wouldn't admit to himself that the alchemic formulas might be a bit over his head - for one, that would be a round about way of saying he was short, but also because Ed was a child prodigy. He could understand anything. Just... some things might take a little longer to understand than others. Fortunately, Al had been reading and taking notes, as well, and Ed believed they would compare notes later and, together, figure this out.

"Hey, Al, can you hand me that book over there?" Ed asked, rubbing the sleep out of his right eye and then pointing toward a gray book on the floor by Al's chair.

"Uh... This one?" Al asked. He sounded panicked. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have that one...?" He pointed toward a thinner, teal book on the other side of his chair.

"No..." Ed said slowly, as though the seven-foot suit of armor had turned into a toddler, "I'd rather have this one. I've already read the other one." Ed had a feeling that his brother was up to something.

"But... Are you sure you've read it thoroughly enough? Maybe you missed something the first time you read it." Al started playing with his fingers.

That did it. Al was hiding something. Ed wanted to know what Al had been secretly reading, and he wanted to know now. Ed threw the covers off his bed and was able to run over and grab the thick gray book before Al knew what was happening. Ed grinned in triumph as his brother stood up. The blond knew he couldn't keep the book away from Al for long, so, as Al began to reach for the book, Ed decided to at least read the title before it was too late. Ed's eyes widened in horror. The two of them froze in place. All noise seemed to cease at that moment, except the thud of the heavy book hitting the floor. And after that, all was silent yet again.

"You checked out a book on memory loss?!" came Winry's shrill voice, the volume seemingly amplified from the otherwise quite room.

"Ed, please! I only did it to help you!" Al pleaded.

"Al, I don't have amnesia! I know who I am! I remember my life! I remember our search for the philosopher's stone during the past several years! I remember the months we stayed at Tucker's house before the state alchemy exam! I remember my state issued pocket watch and how I-" Ed stopped, realizing he was about to give away a secret he's never told anyone. Ed then felt around his hospital gown, looking for the previously mentioned watch, and then grew alarmed when realizing that hospital gowns don't have pockets for silver watches. "Al, where's my watch?! I-I need my watch." Ed glanced around the room and didn't see anything but hospital equipment, library books, the vase of yellow flowers, and the two get-well cards from Pinako and Al. If someone had looked inside the lid of that watch, he'd kill them. Al didn't seem to understand the urgency. "Al, go get the doctors and tell them to bring me my watch!"

"...Ed, they..." Al fidgeted a little and couldn't seem to find a place in the room he could keep his gaze fixed on, "they don't have it..."

"Then who does?" Ed demanded.

"This is really hard for me!" Al shouted.

Ed realized that Al was on the verge of tears (metaphorically, at least), and suddenly the watch didn't seem important anymore. He stared up at Al in astonishment.

"...I tried to tell you before... Brother's..." Al trailed off.

Ed suddenly remembered. He was supposedly dead, wasn't he? All of that stuff about Mustang not telling his subordinates so he'd have some blackmail... The colonel didn't want to tell anyone because he figured they'd all think he was crazy!

Al couldn't seem to finish his sentence. Instead, he began twisting the cloth at the front of his armor around his fingers.

"He's dead, isn't he?" Ed asked somberly.

Al looked at Ed. "Well..." He looked away again.

Ed turned his gaze away from Al as he said, "You don't have to say it." Ed went back to his hospital bed. He felt like sleeping the rest of the day through. He could feel Al staring at him, apparently wanting to say something, but Ed wouldn't open his eyes.

Ed slowly awoke from a jumbled dream. Something about Winry throwing wrenches at him while Al hugged her. And, there was also something about huge explosions. And snapping. Lots of snapping and explosions. Ed's eyes were instantly open; he suddenly felt wide awake. How dare that idiot colonel haunt him in his dreams! Ed then realized that he couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours. He had thought he would end up sleeping through most of the day, after staying up that late last night. What had woke him?

He began to hear it. - The murmuring taking place outside the closed hospital door.

"No, wait, she's not ready to see you yet..." That was Al. It was muffled, but Ed could still hear the concern in his brother's voice. The word "she" echoed unpleasantly in his mind. It saddened him to have to remember that the whole "Ed" thing was an act. He was hoping that their last conversation was just a dream. Not only did Al still not accept that he was who he said he was, but he also found out for sure that his body was gone. Well... Al never actually said it, but he didn't deny it, either.

"What do you mean she isn't ready?!" Ed wasn't sure who's demanding voice that was. It was very familiar, but he just couldn't place it.

"Just let me explain first..."

Ed heard the doorknob turn.

"No wait!" Al's voice, now unrestrained, called out. But it was too late.

Ed found himself staring at the face of...

Himself.

"Brother..." Al sighed in defeat and despair.

"Uh... You braided your hair," the so-called "Brother" told Ed and blinked, seeming to be at a loss for any other words. He was wearing Ed's outfit. There was no mistaking it. After a few seconds, the person added, "Don't get me wrong, Winry! It looks good!" Apparently he was afraid that Ed would hit him with something unless he said that.

Ed himself couldn't think of anything to say. This "Brother" really did look and sound like him... How was that possible? Was that his real body? If so... who was inhabiting it?

"...She kind'a thinks you're dead..." Al muttered.

Golden eyes widened in surprise.

"...and she-"

"He!"

"Sorry," Al said quickly. "He also... believes he's... you..."

Ed glared at the two of them, daring either one to challenge that theory. "So, this is why you've found it so hard to believe that I'm your brother," Ed mused, his arms folded across his chest, but this time taking no notice of his new appendages. "I don't know who he is, but he's not me."

"What?! Of course I'm you! I mean, I'm myself!" the replica sputtered. He sighed and scratched the side of his head, a familiar frown on his face. He turned his head toward the suit of armor behind him. "Al, why didn't you warn me about this?"

"What?" Al squeaked. "But, Brother, I tried-"

"And why did you tell her I was dead?"

"He," Al and Ed corrected simultaneously.

"Whatever!" the copycat shouted. "Why did it think I was dead?!" he demanded and gestured toward Ed. The actor seemed to play his part fairly well - apparently, even well enough for Al to believe it.

Al began nervously fiddling with his fingers. "Well... I tried to tell him twice that you were just delayed, but I just... couldn't tell him... If he knew you were just coming on a later train, and that you weren't soulless..." Al sighed. "I just couldn't do that to him..."

Ed watched as the performer took notice of the library books that were strewn about the floor of the room. As he bent down to pick one up - almost as though he was taking a bow for his wonderful performance - Ed saw the chain. A watch chain. Did that scum bag have his watch?! His State-issued watch?! Ed wouldn't be able to tell for sure unless he saw it and looked under the lid, but there was a good chance it was his. If the clothing was his, it only made sense that he'd have his watch, as well. How could someone steal his body out from under him like that? And how dare someone!

The impostor glanced at the title of the book he was holding and said, "Theories on Soul Transferal, huh?" An amused smile came to his lips as he shook his head. "That would probably be the same idea I would think of." He flipped through a few pages, then turned his gaze toward Ed and raised an eyebrow. "You actually understand this stuff?"

"Of course I understand it!" Ed shouted at him. "How do you think I became a State Alchemist at age 12?!"

The fake Ed shrugged. It looked as though he was trying to hide a smile that was tugging on his lips. Ed's lips.

Controlling his anger somewhat, Ed smirked and said, "You're nothing but a cheap impersonator. Why don't we find out who the real Ed is right here and now? The real Fullmetal Alchemist can win a battle against an imitator with a single clap of his hands."

Ed watched the phony's facial features and caught a glimpse of hesitation and maybe some nervousness. Ed's smirk grew wider.

"Ed, please!" Al begged, running between the two and outstretching his arms.

Ed frowned and turned his head away from Al in a disapproving manner. "I don't know why you're protecting him, Al."

"Okay, let's say you're right - what if he isn't brother? But what if it's your body? Then, are you willing to make it uninhabitable for anyone? On the other hand, if you're not brother, then I don't want you to get hurt!"

Ed snorted in protest but grumbled a "Fine."

--To be continued--

'kay, so, this started out being a one-shot, then... tonight I finally decided to break it apart into at least two pieces. (I was tempted to end this at "but it was too late", but I thought I should end it at the end of a scene, instead.) Anyone not surprised by that visitor being another Ed? Every person I showed this to had no idea who it would be. In a way, I'm glad it's not as obvious as I first thought, but in another way, I don't want it to be traumatizing, so I added in several clues. By the way, Pinako's busy with the shop, and Hohenheim's not around, so it's not them. I was kind'a hoping it sounded like Izumi, because I think her and Ed sound kind'a similar (shrug).

This was inspired by the first half of the first chapter of Aca Oni's "Sleeping Sun". I was like "Wow! Ed as a woman! What an original idea!" And... after writing quite a bit of this fic here, I discover several other "Ed's a woman" stories. This one's a little different than the ones I've seen so far, though, so I hope it's a little original...

So... I'm very curious... What do you think happened and what do you think's going on?

I have a quick illustration of Ed-as-Winry in my profile, by the way.

Is anyone else very upset that this site has deleted all their scene breaks, even from past stories? I think I've found and replaced all the ones in here... (grumbles about the ugly horizontal lines I was forced to use)