Disbelievingly I witnessed the scene in front of me.
Rena was hunched over the lifeless body, keeping it in death grip and clinging to it as if her whole life depended on it. Her shoulders were trembling and one could easily tell that she was crying. My girlfriend and whole purpose in the world was crying and I felt my own heart break into two at the sight. There was literally nothing more unsettling to me than watching a loved one suffer and I had to swallow hard to prevent myself from joining her. Between her frantic sobs merely a single clear word reached my ears.
"Jurina…"
My body twitched at the mention of my name, ready to jump into action at any time. My beloved was calling for help and I was more than willing to offer it to her. I wanted to comfort her, to draw her slim figure into my arms and soothe her until her world was whole again. I have always done this - whatever she requested from me, I would take care of it, all to make her happy again. I'd give my everything for her in an instant and not even question it. All Rena had to do was to ask.
Then why wouldn't my lips even move in response, right now of all times? How would I be able to find out what was wrong with her? Getting impatient I tried to run over to her and pull her into an embrace, yet my legs wouldn't even budge a bit. This was getting seriously frustrating. My girlfriend was sobbing right in front of me and still I could only stand and watch powerlessly.
Relief washed over me when our teammates finally arrived at the scene. At the very least someone would be able to take care of Rena now. Manatsu, our reliable chief medical officer immediately rushed over to begin her treatment. Consolation however was short-lived and I was shocked when Airin and Churi forcefully grabbed Rena's arms from behind to drag her away, making way for Manatsu. She struggled and fought back while clinging to the body and again I felt the need to step in. I yelled at our comrades, ordering them to stop treating her so roughly, yet I received not a single reaction. What the hell was wrong with everyone today? And why does it still feel like there was not a single drop of energy left in my limbs?
I was left to watch as they overpowered Rena and moved her out of the way, allowing Manatsu to start her work. Helplessly I witnessed how Rena's legs gave away and she collapsed into Churi's arms. Our friends embraced her in an instant, soothing her and comforting her, while they themselves were doomed to wait and observe. Just like me.
My gaze shifted back as I was finally granted a free view on the body.
The very moment I set my eyes on it the memories suddenly came crashing upon me. I remember it vaguely, we had been on a mission. It was just Rena and me together, the infamous Aces. Too late we realized that we had fallen for a trap. My intuition had kicked in before my mind could comprehend the happenings and my body immediately began moving on its own, covering Rena's in the process.
My next single coherent thought was that breathing wasn't supposed to be that difficult. I remember Rena's gorgeous face right in front of me, her eyes clouded with fear while her lips were moving in panic, but still not a single sound would reach my ears. I felt the need to relieve this unsettling tension, to calm her down, to crack a joke or really do anything, yet for some reason something mundane as paying attention to that pretty girl in front of me became harder and harder, and then-...
Suddenly I clenched my chest in pain. The world began moving like a spiral and I was forced down to my knees. Something was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen this way; Rena needed me. I didn't want any of this, I wanted to fight. I had to get up again, tell them that I'm okay, to be there for our team, for everyone. For Rena. It was all wrong, terribly wrong.
The unyielding darkness overtook my senses, creepingly suffocating my consciousness. It was only then, for the smallest fraction of a second, that my mind abruptly became clear as a crystal.
The lifeless body over there. It was no other than my own.
I have just died in Rena's arms.
I really didn't think too highly of my skills when I decided to join the fight against Akiba. Although younger than all of the candidates around me I was still determined to give my very best. The very least I owed to my deceased parents was to try hard, no matter if all the other girls were much more qualified than me.
The larger was my surprise when I was assigned to lead the team from the front, the so-called "Center position". They claimed that I had a special gift and was more than worthy of leading them despite my lack of age and experience. As if that wasn't already unusual enough, I also learned that I was going to share the Center. It was announced that a second girl was going to join me and if anything she seemed even more surprised than me. But then again, what was considered normal in the times of war?
It was the first time I ever really acknowledged Matsui Rena. She was much more timid and didn't like standing out too much, hence I never really noticed her until the surprising announcement. This too seemed to shock the other candidates and I heard the murmurings among them: Why would the higher-ups pick this silent girl of all people? What made her so special that she jumped straight out of nowhere to the Center position?
I'm guessing that she had a much harder time to be accepted in the beginning than I did. It might sound a tad cheesy, but I've always been convinced that there was tremendous potential hidden beneath her quiet exterior. Then again, I've always been slightly biased. She was simply the prettiest girl I've ever laid my eyes on in my whole life and looking back now my affection for her had never really been a secret to anyone except the two of us.
The both of us could hardly have been any more different, yet working together with her had always felt so natural. Our skills and personalities were everything but alike, yet somehow we always managed to stand next to each other as equals, evening out each other's flaws while no one was ever able to fully surpass the other. We were a perfect team and led the others into battle as the double Aces, yet on a personal level…
You might call me childish for becoming personally attached like this during a war, yet I was more than thankful for a little bit distraction from all the training and fighting we were going through. Rena however wasn't exactly easy to approach despite my best efforts at hidden surprise attacks. Luckily for me we got to spend lots of time together because of our shared missions, giving me lots of opportunities to sneak in a hug or two.
Apparently I was being way too obvious as every so often the other girls would tease me in a friendly manner about how close "WMatsui" seemed, giving me gentle nudges while questioning me about my "progress" with Rena.
I honestly felt embarrassed by this and would always fight it off. After all it was not like relationships were allowed for us and besides, there was nothing special between us anyways. It wasn't so far from the truth actually. Rena and I hardly spoke to each other outside of the missions and I honestly grew worried that she might even find me annoying.
Sure, there was a certain age difference between us but I didn't believe that numbers should play such a large role between people. Rena however always liked to retreat from everyone before any of our teammates could really approach her. I later learned that she simply needed lots of time to warm up to other people, but back then I thought I should push things a little. Often I found her sitting alone and would seize the opportunity. Sneaking up from behind I looped my arms around her shoulders to feel her soft skin under my touch. She jumped in surprise but managed to suppress an audible shriek.
"Rena-chan~"
"J-Jurina?"
I lowered my head until my face was next to hers. "Join us for lunch?"
"I-I'm going to eat later, I'm sorry." she politely declined, quickly unwinding herself from my embrace.
I grinded my teeth. We had spent so much time together because of our training but did I even matter to her at all? I wanted to get closer to her, but what if she only saw a partner in me? Despite my age I wasn't as naive as people sometimes made me be. I could sometimes feel her eyes on me, watching me when she thought that no one would notice. So why did she avoid me on purpose?
The turning point of our relationship happened to be a blessing in disguise.
We had been out in the woods for combat training, just the two of us. At least it was supposed to be a friendly training session, yet I tend to get competitive easily and was tempted to give my very best in order to prove myself to Rena. I avoided and deflected all her attacks with the practice sword easily, having long figured out all of her tricks.
The clashing swords finally forced us apart and I went to dash away, playing another deadly game of hide and seek among the trees. Ironically it wasn't her attacks but my own foolishness that knocked the breath out of me when I overlooked a loose root, stumbling and slamming into the ground in the progress. The infamous Center Matsui Jurina had just not-so gracefully knocked herself out, and even worse, done so right in front of her crush.
"Ouch, ouch…" I muttered while trying to regain footing quickly, hoping not to make an even greater fool out of myself.
"Jurina!" Rena called out and was beside me in an instant.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." I tried to convince the both of us but shuddered at the pain when I tried to set my foot down.
"Jurina, your foot…"
"It's fine, I can still fight."
"Let me help you." she commanded, sneaking an arm around my waist so I could rest my weight on her slim frame.
Now, that was a really rare occasion. The pain was actually greater than I wanted to admit but I still took full advantage of the situation and threw my arms around her, grinning widely. "Is that an invitation?"
"Mou, Jurina. Don't fool around, you're hurt." I could've sworn I had seen her blush but she turned her face away before I could confirm my suspicion. Naturally she didn't push me away though, much to my contentment. "Let's call it a day." she proposed and led us away from the woods.
"Okay~" All the stupid circumstances aside I still couldn't believe my own luck.
We made it back to the base where she helped me sit down, ordering me to rest. After retrieving an ice pack she pressed it to my ankle to help with the swelling. "You're too careless…" she admonished.
I gulped. It was rare to receive attention from her, regrettably I would have preferred it if she did this in a less angry fashion.
"If that happened in real combat or if you had carried a real katana with you-..."
"I understand, I'm sorry." I wanted to interrupt her scolding.
"You can't keep doing that, you are always going too far." she said a little too loudly in response to my earlier carelessness.
Her expression suddenly softened as she looked up to me. Our eyes met for a short moment before she nervously broke the contact again. With a sigh she lifted herself up to sit down next to me.
"I'm sorry for yelling, I'm just worrying about you a lot recently."
What did she mean by "a lot"? How long had she been looking out for me? Did that mean that all the time she had been caring after all?
For some reason the mere possibility of that happening made my heart flutter a lot.
I turned my head sideways only to find her watching me again. I couldn't help but notice how close our faces had gotten. There was something in her gaze… I didn't know if I had gotten the signals right, but in this moment her lips looked so very inviting to me. It had possibly been not the best situation for me to do this, but then again, when was the opportunity ever right? I simply couldn't help it any longer and gave in to the risk.
"I'm sorry, Rena-chan. I promise to take better care of myself from now on. Thank you for always watching my back." I flashed her my most convincing smile before I quickly took her breath away. She gasped slightly as our lips made contact but didn't pull away, causing me to grin into the kiss.
It was perfect, magical even, and over all too soon.
I almost expected to be greeted with a slap to the cheek, but it never happened. When I finally opened my eyes again she was all flushed, covering her own mouth with her hand. The poor girl was totally embarrassed but yet she didn't run away nor looked at me in disgust. My wide grin must have looked totally silly yet I couldn't possibly help it. Perhaps Matsui Rena wasn't the unapproachable ice queen after all.
"I- You're welcome, I mean…" she stuttered. "Let's go find the others." She got up and supported me.
I giggled in accomplishment. Rena-chan, you're so tsundere after all.
I honestly believe if it hadn't been for my sore foot I might have accidentally jumped up and danced around in joy.
Unconsciously I lifted my hand towards the material in front of me. I waited for my fingers to feel the cold of the glass below my touch but they simply never connected to it. I longed to see my own reflection in the mirror to convince myself that I'm indeed still Matsui Jurina, but the image no longer hold any evidence of my existence. Although I could very much still perceive the world of the living no one and nothing was able to see nor hear me in return. I have become a mere silent witness to reality, my capability of influencing its happenings having faded with my demise.
Does that then officially make me a ghost?
My own burial was every bit as formal as you would expect it to be in a semi-militaristic force like ours. I was awarded posthumously with all different kind of special honors for my service towards the country but I didn't mind any of this. Instead I watched the faces of my teammates who endured the rain and fought so hard to retain composure.
Sadness and grief - those were personal emotions to be kept from interfering with our duty and instead limited to private time. Giving in to the slightest distraction might endanger a comrade's life when in the face of the enemy; at least that's what they had always told us.
In reality all I wanted to do was to run up to my friends and hug them, tell them that I'm okay or even yell at them if it was what it takes to make them realize that I'm standing right next to them. But I had already tried all of that in vain. They had become totally oblivious to my presence. After all I'm a ghost now, I thought cynically.
And then there was Rena. I had been watching her intensely during the ceremony, yet never once her blank stare has left my grave, as if she had yet to fully comprehend what was happening. She merely did what was expected of her in her position. The remaining Ace had to lead the team on, no matter what personal misfortune she might have experienced. My heart broke at the thought of what she must be going through right now.
Oh, how I detested these burials; I had seen far too many of them during my young life.
The ceremony came to an end and the area cleared gradually. Rena remained frozen in her spot, not minding the cold and the drizzle seeping through her clothes. It was only when Churi laid a hand onto her shoulder that she snapped back to reality. No further words were needed between them. Rena slowly nodded in silence before they went to return to the base.
I turned my head to look up at the overcast sky. Such a fitting weather for a miserable day. And yet what would I give right now to feel the rain trickle onto my face once more?
Time was a concept of mortals. To me however it no longer hold any significance.
I had little recollection of how many days or weeks had passed since then. My mind would often feel torn between flashbacks of my past life and occasional blackouts, making it even harder to observe the world in the same pace the living did. Although I felt that I was slowly getting used to my ghostly existence every single moment still cost me a lot of energy. For the time being I was effectively stuck with lingering around our base, Sunshine Sakae.
This was where we had received our training, where we operate our missions against Akiba and consequently the closest thing to a home most of the girls had. It was also the place I had spent the most time as a living; perhaps that was why I was stranded there as a ghost. Literally every time I tried to stray too far from this place my feet felt like a lead weight, ironically enough as I had not even any feeling left in them.
I was doomed to watch as everyday life slowly returned to the base. That is, as normal as life could possibly be in these circumstances. The grim mood was evident but sadly losing friends and teammates had become common for us. War simply didn't grant you the luxury of grief.
What put me on the edge the most though was my growing worry over Rena. I rarely saw her around the base which was little surprising since the missions must have kept her busy as hell. All I wanted to do was to look at her face and confirm that she was doing okay, but in my current condition it was simply impossible to follow her around. So close to our ultimate goal she had been left to carry all the responsibility of the double Aces alone and no words in the world could ever make up the guilt I was feeling.
The few times I saw Rena I could only describe her being as tired. It was all too clear from the bags beneath her eyes and her fatigued posture that she hadn't been sleeping well recently. It seemed like all life force had been sucked out of her, leaving her to stoically focus on her work first. Little reminded me of the gentle and soft-hearted girl I knew so well and this mere realization broke my heart all over again.
It was simple-minded to believe that death was the worst fate one could possibly suffer.
If only for a moment I imagine that I had been the one to lose Rena that day…
Relationships were officially banned in our team. They were deemed too distracting, preventing us from focusing fully on our goal only. Whatever the officials told us about the reality of things out there, I quickly learned that when it came to war and love, there are no rules. Rena and me were going against the orders and we were more than aware of our actions.
Maybe everyone but our closest teammates disregarding it as a puppy love on my side was what spared us from trouble. Perhaps we simply managed to keep things subtle with Rena scolding me whenever my physical affection went overboard. Most likely our higher-ups simply turned a blind eye to their Aces as the war progressed.
Either way, I honestly believe that my relationship with Rena was what kept me sane during all of this. We did not have much leisure time outside of our missions but we always made sure to spend every minute we could spare together. Needless to say we knew how to make use of the breaks during WMatsui's special training sessions, ahem. Sometimes if our schedules were generous we would also share a room at night; if not, well, we would often sneak out and elude sleep by huddling together outside in a blanket, watching the starlit sky and imagining a better world. Frequently when free time was limited there was at least still the smallest smile or the subtlest of Rena's touches that could simply make my day and gave me back the meaning of our fight.
After I had lost my parents I felt desolated and all alone in the world, like no one would ever care again what would happen to me. Fighting was what kept me functioning, that's why I decided to join the forces. It was not until Rena came along that I finally regained my raison d´être in life. For the first time I had again something to look forward to. I was determined to win this war, to protect Rena and our country and finally live in peace again. This single reason had become my cause.
To me our love had been a simple happiness among all the bloodshed.
And I kept praying every single day that Rena would feel the same.
Frustration and uneasiness kept growing inside me as time trickled by. Shouldn't I… be in heaven now? Meet my maker or the powers that be? Bounce up and down on pink fluffy clouds? Was I instead fated - cursed - to walk the world of the living for all eternity?
Was this some kind of cruel joke? Is this supposed to be hell after all? Did I have to watch my loved ones suffer forever? Without ever being able to touch her again? Even if I was right beside my girlfriend I yet couldn't do a damn thing except watch while she withered away and I was impatient and more than ready to turn the heaven upside down for her if necessary.
I kept probing and testing my limits. Slowly my body seemed to adapt to its new ghostly existence and I found that I was no longer confined to Sunshine Sakae. I wasn't totally there yet, but I was determined that the last battle wasn't going to take place with me being stuck at the base.
Day Zero was drawing closer and no one knew it better than the Aces themselves. Akiba was weakened and with only a pitiful fraction of their former glory left it was only a matter of time before Sakae would launch their final attack.
How I wished to be with Rena during all of this, to watch over her like she had done for me all the time.
Life couldn't have been more cynical than to rip me away from her during these times.
I nervously walked up and down the court in anticipation. Human habits die hard after all. It had already been a few days since Rena had left for her mission and we had been notified that she was to return soon. Infinite relief washed over me when she finally stepped through the gates, looking exhausted and fatigued but very much safe and sound. At the same time I couldn't help but feel compassion for the weary girl. She had clearly been pushing herself too much recently.
Rena came to a halt to watch the majestic cherry trees in the court, now partly hidden in the darkness. She paused for a moment to take in the scenery and I knew very well what was going on inside her mind. These trees had always been a sign of national pride in our country which we fought so hard for against Akiba. To protect our kind and bring peace back, that had been Rena's and mine shared goal…
Hard work will eventually bear fruit and soon all of our efforts will have paid off.
"Welcome home, Rena-chan." I said to her quietly.
As soon as I finished Rena was pulled out of her musings and slowly turned her head around. My eyes widened and I suddenly had to swallow a lump in my throat. Did she just…?
"Rena!"
Churi and Nishishi waved to her as they appeared behind me.
My heart sank and with it the faintest hope I was still harboring. Of course, it's not like Rena could hear me. I recollected myself and listened to their conversation.
"How did it go?"
Rena flashed a weak smile at their curiosity. "Number 3 had been taken care of."
Number 3, Watanabe Mayu. One of the last Aces of Akiba. I couldn't help but beam in happiness as pride swelled inside me.
"Rena, we were thinking… Now that this is settled you should take some time off before we move again."
Thank you, finally a living person voiced what I've been wanting to tell her for weeks. But naturally enough, good old stubborn Rena wasn't having any of it.
"I'm fine, we need to prepare for the next step now." she replied while I was able to tell that her mood had turned a bit sour over this topic. I hoped they got the hint too.
Nishishi and Churi eyed each other.
"We actually asked Aki-P about this and he thinks-..."
Wrong move.
"Since when does Aki-P care about any of us? Why didn't he even step in once when Jurina-..." Rena stopped herself when she noticed her own outburst and took a moment to calm herself. I know she had grown more mistrustful of Aki-P's plans recently and was convinced that he was pushing the team members too hard at times, possibly even secretly blaming him for my death.
"I want to end all of this, once and for all. I owe it to Jurina."
"We understand that but you need to give yourself some rest before we move on. We are capable of taking care of the other Numbers for now."
"I don't need to rest, I need to forget right now." Rena snapped back with a tinge of cynicism.
Both watched each other again. "We're worried and we believe that Jurina wouldn't want to see you like this either."
Rena lowered her voice again. "But Jurina is gone. WMatsui is gone since that day when its other half-... my other half was torn away." Sadness was evident in her voice. Perhaps she realized that she was being too hard on her friends who only meant well, yet she was unable to contain her emotions. "I'm sorry, I will go to bed." She turned to leave and went inside.
A bittersweet smile overcame me. It wasn't often that she spoke so openly about her feelings, so I felt even more touched by hearing her speak in such an affectionate manner about me.
Silly girl, she was always the last one that wanted to be a burden to others. She always tried her best in order to not drag the team down with her while questioning her own abilities. I desperately wanted to run up to her and hug her and never let go of her again. She had always been the more capable fighter between us.
If only I had been more careful that day.
If only I had been a little bit stronger.
Then perhaps I would still be with her today.
Who would have thought that tears could flow from ghostly eyes as well?
I turned to watch the pained faces of our friends who were uncertain what to do about this situation. "Thank you for looking out for Rena-chan." I was well aware that they couldn't hear me. Perhaps I had said it more for my own benefit at that moment.
Following the pull of my heart I went inside to check on Rena.
If crippled and blinded I would still have found the way to Rena's quarters easily, after all I had walked it endless times before. Hesitation however overcame me as I was faced with a closed door. Not that it was an obstacle to a ghost by any means, it just didn't feel right to intrude her privacy like this despite the countless hours I had spent in there. Certainly it wasn't like anyone could judge me but I still had my concerns. In the end my worry for her got the better of me and I entered, only to find the room unlit and empty. She had mentioned that she wanted to go to sleep so where might she have gone?
A faint thought overcame me and I walked towards my own quarters instead. During all the time that had passed I honestly had never thought of returning there. After all my body no longer had the need for rest and privacy so I lacked the natural instinct to retreat. The inside looked untouched and nothing different from my memories, except for…
"Rena-chan…"
Bingo. I found her slender figure huddled on my own bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. If anything the moonlight made her look even paler and frailer than usual. I studied her in silence. She had always been rather slim, but in that moment it occurred to me that she had been looking even more bony recently. Had she even been eating properly between all these missions she was taking on?
She was unmoving yet I could tell easily from her tense position that she was still awake despite her recent sleep deprivation. Her tired manner earlier on made me honestly doubt that she was able to rest well and the very fact that she seemed to neglect her own body like this left me upset.
"Jurina, you have been out here for hours, have you even eaten anything today?" Rena admonished me.
"I'm fine, I still need to work on these new katana techniques."
The usually soft and timid girl suddenly glared at me. I gulped. Suddenly I felt a warm grip on my wrist as she dragged me away from the training area towards our equipment.
"You need a break." She opened her backpack to reveal a sealed melonpan. "I only have this with me right now but we can share it."
"Eeeh?" Did she really bring a melonpan all the way out here? Those have certainly become rare in the times of war and I know she loved this certain food a lot; the more surprised I was that she would share her precious treasure with me.
I couldn't decide whether to feel more enamored by her care or by her quirkiness. Either way, in the end I gave in and accepted a half of the sweetened bread. It was only then that I noticed how hungry I had actually been and started to quickly devour the bun.
"You need to pay more attention to your own body. You're still growing after all."
"Don't treat me like a child." I pouted since having our age difference pointed out always upset me a lot.
"Then don't act like one. Why do you always have to be so hard on yourself?" she asked with a pleading look, sadness obvious in her eyes. "How would you feel if others treated themselves the way you do?"
I had to squint my eyes. Damn, these memories were becoming overwhelming now.
How would I feel, huh? I really had been a child after all.
At a loss of what else to do I climbed onto the bed. I knew I couldn't touch her but I settled behind Rena nevertheless, watching over her, protecting her. I hoped that she would finally be able to get a good night's rest as she was going to need all of strength for the upcoming battle.
"Go to sleep, Rena-chan."
It was always there, the faintest amount of hope in the back of my head that Rena might be able to sense that I'm near.
Coincidence or not, over time Rena's breath slowly evened out as she fell asleep. Never once did I leave her side that night.
After the sun went down darkness slowly descended upon Sakae. I cuddled closer to her body below the covers, enjoying the sensation of smooth bare skin pressed together. The both of us had fallen silent a while ago yet I loved how we were able to simply indulge in each other's presence without the need for words.
Nevertheless I found myself growing a bit curious. "What are you thinking about?"
Another moment of silence passed. "Ne, Jurina… What are you going to do after all of this is over?" Rena asked musingly.
I had to consider it for a moment but I couldn't really come up with a definite answer. "I don't know that yet." I had to admit that I hadn't thought about this too much. It had always seemed so far away and you didn't tend to make plans when death was always around the corner. "What about you?"
"Well, it's a bit embarrassing…" I softly stroked her waist to make her relax. "I want to visit Hokkaido and see real snow. My parents used to tell me about their travels there before the war started…" Her voice seemed a bit melancholic.
I see. She must have been remembering her parents again, huh? I knew my quieter girlfriend had the tendency to overthink and get lost easily in her own reminiscence. It's no wonder she wants to use this opportunity to feel closer to her deceased parents.
Deciding to lift the mood a bit I chuckled slightly. Somehow it fit her though. I never thought her to be a beach person after all and somehow I liked the image of Rena with her snow-white skin among a winter landscape.
"I am going to take you to Hokkaido." I blurted out.
"Eeeh, how are you going to do that?"
"I don't know that yet but I will make it happen. From now on that's going to be my goal." I declared proudly.
"You're so full of yourself." she replied but her teasing voice made it evident that her mood had improved.
"After all of this is over we will be able to go anywhere. I'm going to take you to Sapporo, to Kagoshima, to Okinawa. We could even travel overseas. Think of Beijing, think of Bali… We will go wherever you want to go." I added. "Just the two of us."
"You're a hopeless romantic puppy, you know that?"
"I can't help it." I grinned.
She buried herself deeper into my neck and I drew my arms tighter around her. "I love you, Jurina" she suddenly spoke again.
My heart warmed at the action. It was rare for her to express feelings this openly, that's what made these moments even more precious to me. "I love you too. We're going to end this war together."
What a filthy liar I've been.
The war had already been as good as over. Our victory had been perhaps only a few months away. So why did I have to die just like this, after years of training and so close to our goal?
I've left her alone. The burden was now hers alone to carry.
How many times can I fail you, Rena-chan?
"Please stay strong. You need to end all of this for good, even if I'm no longer beside you."
Checkmate, the day of the final strike had come. Victory already within our grasp Sakae gathered all of its remaining forces, ready to launch the deathblow at any time. Nevertheless there was no time for foolishness now. Even though we were confident in our strength we knew that the danger was by no means over yet. Blind faith would be our own undoing.
I was going to accompany my teammates during all of this, as if it made any difference to them. Though I had accepted that I couldn't change the outcome I was still going to stay by her side, no matter what was going to happen that day. It was my last duty as a member of Sakae and WMatsui.
Nervousness was all too evident in every single one of them but they never once faltered, after all this was the moment they had always been fighting and yearning for. Rena too was determined to not show any sign of weakness. It was her job as the remaining Ace to set a good example. She knew what she had to do today and everyone else was just as ready as she was.
The invasion of Akiba began. Every single member knew the plan and their specific role in this.
Rena was out there on her own, yet every lower Number to oppose her regretted it immediately. Katana fights weren't long and dramatic; they were just as short as deadly and thus she quickly disposed of any weaker enemy that came across her. I had to take heart, after all no one had more confidence in her abilities than me. Still I was on the edge during the whole time. The whole scenario was so familiar to me, yet I could no longer protect her back the way I used to do when I was still alive.
Rena never once flinched when Number 2 stepped up in front of her, her own katana raised in defense. Oshima Yuko, I still remember her face clearly. Both of them moved with care, acknowledging that they have found a noteworthy opponent.
"I don't even want to bother with you, I came for Sashihara."
Number 2 only smirked. "You'll have to deal with me before that, even though I'm no longer the first one around here."
Rena gripped her sword tighter. The once so shy girl I had come to know faced the enemy proudly, full aware that only one of them would leave this fated encounter alive. She did not fear the outcome though, after all she had long been ready for all of this.
The last stage began.
Admiration grew within me as Rena easily deflected all slashes coming her way but it was clear that his fight was going to take some more skill than that. Yuko's defense left no opening and every first mistake could turn out to be lethal one.
An arrogant smile grew on Yuko's features as she switched her tactics to mockery instead. "It's too bad, isn't it? I had hoped to cross swords like this with both of the Matsuis once more."
Rena wasn't having any of it, knowing well enough that giving in to her taunt would only cloud her own judgment. Nevertheless I could tell that the damage was already done.
"I'm sure Jurina would have-" At the mention of my name Rena raised her katana high for another fast attack only to be parried again. Yuko however suddenly turned sideways to evade the sinking blade and delivered a feisty kick to her stomach instead. Rena was thrown to the ground but quickly regained her footing before Yuko could launch her follow-up attack.
I didn't realize I was holding the breath I no longer had. The last few months had clearly taken toll on Rena and her exhaustion was slowly beginning to show.
She recollected herself and spoke in a clear but icy fashion: "Don't you ever dare speak her name again."
Yuko suddenly launched another of her quick attacks. "Rena, watch out!" I shouted in panic.
Rena's senses kicked in immediately and she turned sideways to dodge the slash. I watched in horror as the katana made contact with her body, slicing along her side effortlessly. She didn't give in to the pain however and brought her own sword down towards her enemy's back without flinching. Number 2 collapsed to the ground without ever realizing what mistake had caused her own death.
I was left paralyzed as I watched the whole scene play out. Abrupt and unforgiving, that was what war was like. One blink of an eye was all that it took to change things forever. That was what life had been teaching us all the way until now.
Rena stood and watched the fallen body breathlessly, subsiding adrenaline preventing the full pain from kicking in. She quickly brought down the sword again to make sure her opponent was dead for good. Only then she allowed herself to lower her weapon. Dread crept into my heart as I saw her hiss, gripping her side in obvious discomfort. My instincts told me to check her wound but at the moment it was impossible for me to examine the damage done to her. Damnit.
Rena tried her best to subdue the feeling and dragged herself away from the scene. She was not done yet and she knew it. Effort however was short-lived as she suddenly collapsed to the ground.
"Rena-chan!"
I ran over to her in horror but I couldn't see how deep the wound was due to her clenching it tightly. I couldn't help but notice that her clothes were already soaked in blood and was left to pray that it wasn't her own after all.
An icy feeling seeped through me as pain fully hit her and her breathing became ragged. Her eyes were falling close; she was about to lose consciousness because of the grave injury. Goddamnit, Rena. If she was to faint here on the battlefield while Number 1 was still out there…
Her body was suddenly starting to slacken off and I could tell that she was losing the fight. This mustn't happen, she mustn't give up now.
"Rena-chan, you have to stay awake!" I cried out in desperation.
A moment of deafening silence passed. Suddenly a faint murmur reached my senses. "Jurina?"
What? It couldn't be…
I knelt down next to her.
There was absolutely no way this could be happening but I was sure that my ears didn't just fail me. Frantically I kept trying.
"Rena-chan, you have to get up!" I begged her again.
Tired eyes snapped open at once as she was pulled back to reality. Gathering her remaining energy she got back up to her knees. Keeping her katana in a tight grip she looked around in a state of alertness.
"J-Jurina?" she whispered attentively.
I was too shocked to think about what was happening. "Yes, I'm here!"
She looked into my direction, eyes searching for the source of the voice. These deep brown orbs that I wanted to focus only on me…looked right through me.
"Wh-where are you?" Her body was totally tense, ready to jump into action in case this was some trick.
"I am right here with you. I have been with you all the time." Tears started to fill my eyes as the reality and desperation of the last few weeks came crashing upon me.
I still couldn't help but notice the way she was still clenching her side. Damn, there was too much blood…
"Jurina, I want to see you…" It was only a simple sentence that hurt me inside endlessly. Here she was, a warrior standing among the blood on the battlefield that yet looked so frail that I was about to tear up. It was a single hopeful wish between the bloodshed.
I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, you can't. No one has been able to see me since I died…" I replied although I couldn't myself explain why I was suddenly able to communicate with her. Perhaps it was death looming over that brought her closer to the world of the ghosts, I thought in horror.
She began sobbing. "I have been feeling that you were with me but I couldn't believe it. I don't know how to go on by myself anymore."
"I'm sorry, Rena-chan. I'm sorry all of this has happened like this."
"I miss you, Jurina. I can't do it alone…"
"I know it's hard but you have to keep fighting. You are almost there."
"I don't want to live like this anymore, without you." She shook her head in denial.
"Rena-chan, listen to me." I interrupted her. "Number 1 is still out there. You need to get up, do you understand? You have to face her, you know only you can do it." My heart was breaking for her but time was running out for the both of us.
She tried to subdue her own sobbing, after all she understood it better than anyone else.
"I know you can make it. You are far stronger than me. Please, you have to get up again."
The world didn't grant you peace that easily.
She forced herself to regain composure and fought to get back onto her feet. Rena always knew best what had to be done. You simply don't become the Center for no reason.
Tears trickled down her face as she muttered a last dying wish: "Will I see you again?"
I smiled sadly. "You never know, but I'm always going to be with you, Rena-chan. One way or the other."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
She simply nodded in acknowledgment, her eyes still red.
I stood beside her, just like in old times. This was the way things were supposed to be, WMatsui facing the danger together. "Let's go."
Rena advanced with shaky and unsteady steps, the blood loss already getting to her. Luckily it didn't take us long to find what we were looking for. Sashihara Rino, Number 1, the new Ace. Perhaps she was already aware that defeat was inevitable for them but her raised weapon made it clear that she was going to fight until her last breath.
"Matsui." Mockery was all that Akiba's troops had left now. "I was hoping for a worthy last fight but it seems Yuko has already roughed you up good."
Rena didn't pay her heed. "This is going to end today, one way or the other."
"I'll face my fate proudly if I have to." she replied calmly before going in for the kill.
I cursed silently as I noticed Rena's sluggish moves. It was clear that Sashihara was at a speed advantage here but Rena made it up with daring reckless attacks, as if she had nothing left to lose. Number 1 however took her time, moving with care and parrying any of her advances. She was trying to wear down the already exhausted Rena slowly, making her even more impatient in the progress.
I could tell that Rena was tired, tired of fighting and of everything that had happened during the past months. It was inevitable that she was going to make a mistake and in a quick move Sashihara managed to graze her arm, revealing a long thin line of blood and forcing Rena off again.
That wench was trying to buy time. She spoke with same arrogance that Yuko held earlier. Akiba must have been really desperate if they were going for such low tactics.
"Tell me, Rena. What do you think it felt like when I brought my sword down towards Jurina, huh?"
"Don't fall for that, Rena-chan." I said calmly, trying to sound convincing. The past no longer hold any significance here.
"What did it feel like to have something you loved so dearly taken from you?" she continued, expecting nothing less than spite and hate from Rena in return.
She received neither.
"Tell me you have never experience it yourself during this war, losing someone you have loved." Rena replied quietly.
"It's foolish to become attached during times like this. You'll only cause your own downfall in the end."
"Then I pity you." Sashihara looked confused at Rena's remark. "I pity you if you never had a good reason to fight to begin with."
Gathering every single bit of desperation Rena suddenly dashed forward, a quick clean slice across the stomach rendering her opponent helpless before she knocked her to the ground to end things for good. Akiba's Ace passed away on the spot, perhaps forever oblivious to the meaning of Rena's last statement.
It was over. The war was already decided and the few remaining forces were helpless without the lead of their Center. Years of hardship and frustration had finally found it unspectacular conclusion.
I couldn't possibly have been prouder of Rena. She stood with her back facing me, looking lost in thought and taking in a deep breath, as if trying to take in the whole meaning of what had just happened. She looked oddly at peace despite her current state and I assumed that it would take a much longer time for reality to sink in.
Her image was nothing less than perfect to me. Even battered and bruised she still looked like the most beautiful human being ever.
She finally turned around again, supporting her own weight on her katana as she stepped forward. I looked at her in anticipation.
"...Jurina?"
"I'm here, Rena-chan, I'm here." I smiled in tears and she did just the same.
"I'm sorry…"
"...?"
Her strength suddenly faded away and she collapsed to the ground. I ran over to her and bent over her body in panic as she faced the sky.
"I'm sorry." she repeated, her eyes filling with tears as the pain took over. She did it again, her eyes were searching for me desperately only to come to the same conclusion as the last time.
Please stop speaking like this. "You don't have to be sorry, you've done it."
She coughed painfully before finding her voice again. "Sakae is going to be okay, right?"
"Yes, Sakae is safe now. You've defeated them."
A faint smile tugged in her lips. "I'm happy to hear this." She didn't even try to find further words and slowly closed her eyes again.
Horror suddenly gripped my heart as realization dawned upon me. "Rena-chan, no, you must fight this." I couldn't simply stand by and watch as the girl I loved was losing her life. "Rena-chan!" I was shaking all over and tried to move her body in order to get her attention again.
Finally our teammates found her, rushing over to begin their first aid treatment. They kept shouting her name but I hardly took notice of them because of my own sobbing. "Rena-chan, no…" At that time I had already realized all too well that their efforts were going to be in vain.
Weepingly my trembling hands found the sides of her face, cradling it, guiding her. Her pain-filled features finally seemed to relax at this action. "You've done well." I whispered with a bittersweet smile.
When she opened her eyes again our gazes were finally reunited. How I had missed this. If I was granted a single wish in the world I wanted to wake up to these soulful brown orbs over and over again every single morning.
She smiled serenely at me. "I've been waiting to see you again."
Where words failed me my tears instead spoke of everything we had been going through. I leaned down to envelop her in a heartfelt embrace. Finally, after what felt like forever, I was able to hug the love of my life tightly again. She melted into my arms, her own strength sagging. Weakly she clasped her own arms behind my back, determined to never let go of me again.
With another sob I pulled her up with me, supporting the weight of her still fragile body with my own. We no longer minded the scene that was happening right besides us. It no longer hold any meaning to us as we both cried in each other's arms. All that mattered now that she was finally with me again.
"I missed you too."
Years of war had finally come to an end, but Sakae's victory came at a great price.
The country had lost many of its greatest defenders, yet it was richer for having won new heroes.
Its true treasure was the people living in it, and their hearts would forever remember the deeds of the fallen ones that had fought to protect their peace.
Two lonesome graves rested next to each other, their existence the only visual reminder of the legendary double Aces WMatsui. They were located on a hill, overlooking and guarding the country, just like their owners had always done.
After all of this I still couldn't believe that it was finally over. A single tear rolled down my face.
Gentle fingers entwined with my own as both of our ghostly figures stood next to each other.
"What now?"
I pondered in silence before grinning back at Rena.
"Oh, I don't know, I heard Hokkaido is kind of nice during this season."
Her eyes were shining as she smiled at me in response.
I pulled her figure in for a lasting kiss and lovingly stroked her back.
We parted again but our hands had never once left each other. I softly tugged on it and led her away from our graves.
Eternity had just begun.