My Folly

by Takianna

AU open letter from Anakin to Obi-Wan about his relationship or perceived relationship with the Duchess. There is implied slash, so if you don't like that, please don't read. This was written in a time when I was very upset and I think that shows. Please refer to the song "White Blank Page" by Mumford & Sons because it inspired this story. I suggest you listen while reading.

I never knew that you felt that way about her. She was different to you in some way. She was a secret that you never spoke of to me when, normally, you would bare your soul to me, but why should you? I now know that you spent your time in her bed, taking her love without ever thinking of my feelings. For all the lessons you taught, you were a hypocrite as you stood there telling me that I shouldn't have attachments. What you meant was, you were the only one good enough to love another. You were a good jedi, you had it under control.

When my attention wasn't enough for you, you ran to her, finding a place in her arms.

This will be my folly, Obi-Wan. Your love for that woman from Mandalore will be the end of whatever control I thought I had over my rage which has been building inside for some time. The boiling in my soul calls and begs for you to pay it some sort of attention, but you merely turn around and walk away to her. Her!

You desired that my entire life be wrapped up in you, but when I stepped across the line and wanted your affection, you took my physical body, cutting me off when it came to emotions. It didn't matter that I felt as though you wanted to reciprocate, your eyes begging me not to stop when your mouth said the opposite. You merely turned me away and went to be with the Duchess, letting her have you in a way that should've been solely for me.

When you lie in her bed, do you tell how you love her? Do you tell her that you screw me?

It should be me that hears those words whispered in the heat of passion.

I've overlooked many things about your affair with her, but now as you stand in front of the council and act as though you are still lingering in the pureness of the order, I find it hard not to scoff at you. You are no cleaner than me. You only mask what you are truly capable of and for that, you should be punished.

You've driven me to this and now the anger inside of me is yours to own. I don't blame anyone, but you.

So lie in her bed and whisper the sweet nothings that she needs to hear. It will all be for nothing in the end. She is doomed. Doomed because she loves a jedi who is not supposed to love in return. There will be retribution from the force. It has a way of turning things back to what it wishes.

I've felt pain. The pain of your eyes turning their favor from me. The pain of seeing the way that you gaze at her across the room. I'm no longer your favorite, whom you lavish with your praise and physical closeness. She has taken my place and in my place, she will find the hurt that I'm leaving in my wake.

Don't count this as a threat, it is merely a reminder of the action I will take to expose what you truly have been doing and what you have really become.

Fear for her Obi-Wan. She is going into the darkness each and every time her lips touch yours. As her hands tangle in your hair during the hot nights spent in the convulsions of passion, remember that you have sealed whatever fate comes to her.

I will be there, as I always have, to pick up the pieces of your life. To remind you that things aren't always what they seem. To savor your love, even when it is given in pain and sometimes without consent.

I will be there.