EXPERIMENTS

A Hunter Fanfic by Yomi

Chapter One

Summary: A chance meeting with a mentor from his past gives Illumi an opportunity to experience living a normal life and learn something his mentor believed all children are entitled to know.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter is copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation

Ten Seconds Ago…

The weather is always oblivious to one's personal circumstances. It could rain on your birthday and present an endless dazzling blue sky when failure chokes the breath from your lungs and life falls apart all around you.

Today, the weather struck up a warm breeze and sent a few pure-white puffs of clouds drifting high above Ritteneur's funeral, attended by a lone, solitary figure whose ebony mane sporadically flirted with the wind.

Illumi listlessly studied the rough engravings on the tombstone. There was scant information. Theodore Ritteneur, died in battle, age unknown. His rough estimate would have put Rittenuer at sixty-eight, but he didn't want to put guesses on the man's last mark in the world, to remind anyone who'd care that he'd existed.

"Sorry, old man," the assassin muttered, unblinking eyes still fixed on the unresponsive stone. "If there is another life, I sincerely hope you've found your family and peace."

The sentimentality was unsettling, as was the guilt that corroded his insides. In the distance, a familiar white-haired figure alighted from a polished black vehicle and purposefully moved towards him. For a moment, Illumi desperately felt like running away.

His dad's face was contorted in disgust. "For goodness sakes, get it out of your system. We've got work to do."

Silva tossed a cylindrical object wrapped in a brown paper-bag at Illumi and folded his arms across his chest, scowling in the general direction of the tombstone. His son carelessly dropped the wrapping on the ground, concentrating on breaking the seal from the bottle of liquor. Illumi wordlessly tipped clear, golden brown liquid onto the ground until the bottle was emptied of all contents.

"Put this madness behind you, Illumi. Now you know what normal people have to go through when others die. I hope you've learned how utterly pointless grief is and why we have always insisted that assassins don't need - "

"It's ok," Illumi blandly interrupted. "I don't think it's that bad."

Silva just looked at him as he continued. "At least Ritteneur had someone to fashion a grave, however crude," he softly added at the end. "It's kind of…a privilege to have someone send you off and give you a last goodbye."

"When you're dead, you're dead. What does it matter whether the living erect a monument in your name or not if you're not even around to appreciate it?"

Squaring his shoulders, Illumi tossed aside the bottle, hearing it hit the ground with a hollow thud, and sniffed, shrugging aside the disagreement. "I don't expect you to understand."

Silva derisively snorted. "I don't want to understand. Get a move on."

They headed up the slope, carelessly treading down stalks of dandelion and ignored the pollen that clung to the fabric of their trousers. As they reached the road and simultaneously swung the car doors open, Silva stalled and looked down causing Illumi to hesitate. Frowning slightly, he patiently waited, anticipating another reprimand.

"Illumi…"

"Yes?"

"You never thought that…I would grieve…or be upset if you died, did you?"

"Of course not," Illumi replied smoothly, always keeping people, even his father, guessing at his real emotions. "It's not in you. To grieve is to have been emotionally invested or attached to someone in the first place. I never had any illusions about who you are and what we have, or don't have for that matter."

Silva actually looked relieved. "You had me worried for a moment there."

Illumi stepped into the car and slid onto the slippery leather seats, fingers digging hard into the supple material to keep his balance. "I take it that was just a figure of speech."

"Of course," Silva nodded, only half listening as he his attention was absorbed by the text and data he was scrutinizing of their latest target.

"Good, because I wouldn't know what to do if you cared."

Illumi closed his eyes and envisaged Ritteneur in his mind one last time with the weights of defeat lifted from the corners of his wistful, wry grin as he was rejoined by his loved ones.

And a part of him broke free, waved a cheerful farewell at his old self, and went towards the fading light to join Ritteneur and his family before they disappeared for good.

He opened black eyes devoid of warmth and feeling. "Let's talk about the percentage split for this commission."

Things were finally back to normal for him.