A/N: This is my first Emily/Hotch story. I had this in my mind for a while and I wanted to give it a try. Let me know what you think. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Just let me know if this story is worth continuing.

I don't own criminal minds.

''It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."

Chapter 1: I am back…

It had been one entire year since she had been in the building. It was a year ago when she said goodbye to her family and left them behind to go to London. The goodbye had been hard on her. There was one person in particular who she missed every single day. It was her former boss. The dark-haired handsome tall man who had stolen her heart years ago. As time went on she denied her crush but it slowly turned into an undeniable love that she had never felt before. When Emily danced with Hotch at JJ's wedding she could swear that he felt something to. But after the days went by in London she never heard anything from him and she started to think that she had imagined everything. She was hurt by it. She tried to put him out of her mind but it never worked. It took her one year to quit Interpol and to go back to DC. She hadn't informed the BAU team of her decision because she didn't want to seem too weak. After everything she had gone through she couldn't take pity from the people she loved most. She knew it was a mistake to leave for London but she did in the hope of finding herself again. She knew now she was only going to find herself after she told the man she loved how she felt. She had been carrying a weight on her shoulders for years and she just couldn't do it much longer.

Emily suddenly reminded herself to not lose sight of what she had to do. She had a lot of moments when she got lost in her own thoughts and now was definitely not the time for it. The elevator doors opened. She walked towards the familiar bullpen where she once had a desk. She saw her former team sitting at their desks. Their heads were in the files on their desks. She slowly opened the door. Emily spun around when she heard a familiar scream coming from behind her.

''Oh my god! Em!'' Penelope exclaimed loudly as she dropped the files to the floor. She ran towards her friend and she hugged her tightly.

''Pen!'' Emily said as she happily embraced her friend.

''It has been too long.'' Penelope said as she finally pulled away from Emily.

''I know. How have you been?'' Emily asked and she didn't notice the rest of the team walking towards her.

''I have been great. It hasn't been the same without you. What happened to you, Em? We haven't heard anything from you in months!'' Penelope said with sad eyes.

''I was busy. I know it isn't an excuse but it has been hard on me, Pen. I have missed you guys so much.'' Emily replied and she turned around when she finally noticed the others.

''Emily!'' JJ said as she hugged her friend.

''Hey JJ!'' Emily said happily. She was getting very emotional. It had been months since she had last seen them and she missed them more than she could have ever imagined. They were the only family she had left. She wished she hadn't been a coward. She wished she never took Clyde's offer to run the Interpol office but at the time it seemed like the only thing to do.

''How is married life treating you?''

''It is great. Will still doesn't like the long hours but we are happy.'' JJ answered.

''May I interrupt?'' Morgan asked.

''Sure! Hey Morgan! And Reid!'' Emily said as she hugged them at the same time.

''You look really good, Emily.'' Morgan commented.

''So do you!'' Emily said quickly and she turned to Reid.

''It is good to see you. How is London?'' Reid asked.

''London has been amazing but it can never compete with this place.'' Emily said and her gaze landed on Hotch's office. She saw him sitting behind his desk. Her heart starting beating faster and she couldn't believe that she was finally back where she was supposed to be.

''Hello, we haven't met yet. I am Alex Blake.'' Blake said to introduce herself.

''Oh, hi. I am Emily Prentiss.'' Emily said as she shook the stranger's hand.

Her eyes were still glued to the office. She turned around when she felt someone pat her shoulder. She saw JJ looking at her with questionable look.

''I am going to let Rossi and Hotch know that I am back. I can't wait to catch up with you guys.'' Emily said and she was about to walk away when Morgan started talking.

''We are going to a bar tonight. You should join us.'' Morgan said.

''That would be great!'' Emily agreed.

''Em, where are you staying? I mean, you need a place to stay.'' JJ said because she wanted to know where he friend was going to stay.

''I am staying at my old apartment. It is a long story. I will explain it tonight.'' Emily said and she walked away before she had to answer any questions.

She made her way up the stairs and she decided to greet Rossi first. She felt like she was going to explode because the nerves weren't getting any better. She knocked on Rossi's door.

''Come in.'' Rossi said and Emily opened the door to his office.

''Hey Rossi!'' Emily greeted when she saw the surprise on his face.

''Hey, kiddo! What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming here.'' Rossi said as he rose from his chair.

''I just wanted to see everyone again. I have missed you guys so much.'' Emily said with all honesty. Rossi was like the father she never had and he knew how she felt about Hotch. He never teased her about it. He only talked to her when she needed some support.

''Yeah, I know. It hasn't been the same without you.''

''What is Blake like?'' Emily asked curiously.

''Well, she is a great agent. She is smart and she works well with the team. There is just one problem…'' Rossi said.

''What?''

''She isn't you, Emily. Working without you is a lot harder than I expected it to be. I miss your input while we are away on cases.''

''I am sure that you guys are doing fine without me. So, how has Hotch been?'' Emily asked shyly.

''You should ask him yourself.'' Rossi said, knowing how Emily felt about his best friend.

''Yeah, I am going.'' Emily said and she walked back towards the door. She walked towards Hotch's office while gathering up the courage to knock on the door. When her hand finally landed on the door, she felt the rush of adrenaline going through her veins.

''Come in.'' Hotch said as Emily chuckled when she heard that his voice was still the same.

She opened the door and she closed it behind. It took a couple of seconds for Hotch to look up and when he did he looked away like it was an illusion. A smile appeared on his face when he locked eyes with her again.

''Emily, what…why are you here?'' Hotch asked with astonishment.

''I thought I would stop by.''

''Stop by? You live in London!'' Hotch said as he was standing in front of her. Hotch gave her a quick handshake.

''I know but I haven't seen everyone in a year. I missed everyone.'' Emily said and she couldn't help but smile.

''We missed you to. How have you been?'' Hotch asked as he gestured her to sit down on the couch. Hotch sat down in a chair across from her.

''I have been good. How have you been?''

''I have been great. Jack is doing really great. He missed you a lot and I think he can't wait to see you. And Beth and I are back together.'' Hotch said happily.

''Beth?'' Emily asked as her heart dropped to the ground. She knew Hotch and Beth were together when she left but JJ and Penelope told her that they broke up when she was in London.

''Yeah, we decided to give it another shot and it is going really well.''

''That…is….''

''Emily?'' Hotch asked when he saw her face turn pale.

''Emily! Are you okay?'' Hotch asked again to make sure that she was doing alright.

''Yeah. Sorry. I am just tired. I have to go. I am sorry.'' Emily said as she stormed from his office. She couldn't believe it. The man she loved got back together with the woman she hated. She knew Beth was a nice person but she was with the man Emily loved.

Hotch was left stunned after Emily left and he didn't know what to do. He finally stood up when he decided to check on her. He needed to know if she was alright.