Wow, guess it's been a while, huh? I don't want to bore you with excuses why I haven't updated my other stories, I think saying that real life got in the way is enough. I lost my muse, if you wanna call it that, for a while and now it finally came back for this one shot.
I will try to update "One" and the other stories as soon as possible, give me a bit of time to get used to my new life here.
I will warn you in advance that this is absolutely sappy but I hope you like it anyway.
Thanks to Copop and Laura for the encouragement and to Grizzly for betaing, even though she had to fear looking like a Christmas Tree afterwards.
One of those days
Lorelai knew that this would be one of those days when she got up in the morning, and found a dark stain on the white blouse she wanted to wear for work. Muttering, she threw it on the floor, with the intention of picking it up in the evening, and throwing it into the laundry basket then.
Afterwards, she stepped into the shower, already expecting the next catastrophe when she realized that there was no warm water for her this morning. Cursing she showered with cold water and was freezing by the time she stepped out. She dressed in black pants and a blue blouse, and made her way down the stairs into the kitchen.
She already knew that there were only some fruit loops left for breakfast, because she didn't have the time to go grocery shopping the day before. With a sigh she started the coffee machine and took a bowl and a mug out of the cabinet, and a spoon out of the drawer.
She walked over to the fridge, opened it, and took the milk out. But she didn't pay attention when she closed the fridge door, and the milk slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. The lid came off the bottle and milk went everywhere. Her kitchen floor was covered in milk and so were her feet and the bottom of her pants
"God, damn it!" she cursed, stepped around the puddle and got the supplies to clean up the mess she had made.
Her morning didn't seem to get any better after she had changed into a black skirt. She had to stop for gas on the short way to the Inn, where she had to deal with a guest who wanted another room, and Michel was in an especially charming mood that day.
"I will not deal with this man any longer," he announced and pointed to the man who wanted another room, because he claimed that he had several spiders in the one he occupied now. Then he turned around and left the reception desk, heading in the direction of the garden and leaving Lorelai alone with the man, who had clearly heard what Michel had said.
"I am really sorry," she apologized, but the unfriendly guest wouldn't let her finish.
"First I have spiders in my room and now I am being insulted by some French putz behind a reception desk. You clearly don't know how to run a hotel, so you should start looking for a new job. Once I am finished talking to your boss, I can assure you that you will need another one," he announced. "Please check me out, I am not staying here for a moment longer," he added and hurried towards his room.
Any other day Lorelai would have used her charm to calm him down before she took care of the problem, but today she wasn't able to. She bit her lower lip to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay, and checked the man out on the computer. Just when she had finished, Michel came back and looked satisfied that the annoying guest was gone.
"Thanks for your help," she said angrily and slammed the man's bill down on the desk in front of Michel. "Your turn to make him pay this bill. And don't argue with me, this here is your job," she hissed and then disappeared into the kitchen to calm down.
When she entered, she made her way to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup of coffee, then she looked around the kitchen and found Sookie by the stove in the back, where she was obviously discussing something with her sous chef.
"Hey Sookie, hi Raoul," she greeted them both and leaned against the counter beside the stove to wait until they were finished.
Sookie at first took no notice of her, however then she took a spoon and fed Lorelai something that tasted slightly like rice salad.
"What is this?" she asked her friend and chef.
"This is Taboule. I decided to add it to the dinner menu tonight. You like it?"
"Yeah, it's great," Lorelai said unenthusiastically.
"I know, I know. With the couscous and the lemon juice, paprika.." Sookie started and Lorelai was disappointed that her best friend didn't even notice that she wasn't feeling so great that day. She didn't even ask what was wrong or why she was sad. No, she kept rambling on about the food she had made, before she went on and told Lorelai about the romantic date she had had the evening before with Jackson. Lorelai was happy that her friend had found someone, she really was, but she couldn't be happy for her today. Instead she felt sad that Sookie didn't pick up on her mood and even sadder when she remembered that she had no one to go on a date with. Ever since she broke up with Max she hadn't been on a date, not one.
Again she felt the tears welling up but she knew that if she cried now, she would freak Sookie out and she didn't even have a real explanation for the mood she was in. So she took a deep breath and excused herself from the kitchen with the pretense of amount of work that was still waiting for her in her office.
She sat down in her chair and took another deep breath before she picked up the phone and dialed her daughter's cell phone number. Rory was visiting her father for once and she hadn't seen her in two days. The phone rang once, twice… a tenth time, but Rory didn't pick up. Finally the answering machine picked up and she left her daughter a short message and told her to have fun in Boston.
The day dragged on and by the afternoon she couldn't take it anymore and left the Inn early, in need of some coffee; and where else would she get it but Luke's?
She entered the diner slowly, her shoulders sagging, her steps slurring over the floor, because she lacked the energy to lift her feet while walking. She made it to the first table and plopped down on the empty chair beside it. She let the straps of her bag slide from her shoulders and then threw the bag carelessly onto the table before she rested her head against it, her arms crossed under her face, and her eyes closed.
She heard the Luke walking towards her, but she didn't open her eyes or lift her head, she didn't want to. Honestly she just wanted to be alone, have a good cry and drown in her misery for a while; even if she wasn't sure what kind of misery she was in exactly. However the need for coffee and food had brought her here, together with the thought that the familiar smell of the diner would soothe her. Now that she was there though, she knew that it only made matters worse, even if she didn't know why.
The diner suddenly reminded her that she couldn't cook. It reminded her of times when she didn't have the money to eat out or even drink a coffee somewhere, because she had been a maid and had had a toddler to care and provide for. It reminded her that she was only there because she had no one to come home to, nothing but an empty house was waiting for her.
She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes and that's why she simply kept them closed, so the tears couldn't escape.
"Here's your coffee, enjoy the slow and painful death it will cause you a few years from now," Luke said, grumpy as usual. "And get your head off that table it's unsanitary, people eat here, you know," he added.
He was about to walk away when she opened her eyes.
It started with the trembling of her chin, her lips pressed tightly together. He could see the tears pooling in her eyes, before the first one escaped and rolled down over her cheek to her chin. Another tear rolled over the bridge of her nose and dropped on her handbag. Then a sob escaped her throat and she pressed her hand to her mouth, like she could shove it back into her mouth and keep others from escaping.
Luke stared at her, not knowing what was wrong or what he had said to upset her. He saw her wiping away the tears that escaped her eyes faster and faster, like she was angry with herself for crying.
"Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked and placed a hand on her arm without thinking about it; a simple comforting gesture to let her know that he was there for her.
However another sob broke free and another followed and within seconds she was crying her eyes out in the middle of his diner and he had no idea why.
Lorelai knew why. The simple gesture of him comforting her was enough to break the dam she had built and everything broke free at once. She couldn't stop the tears anymore and felt stupid, which caused even more tears. She tried to smile at him, to show him that she was just irrational and stupid, but the smile looked like a grimace and her lips twitched strangely and it made her look more desperate and unhappy.
Luke stood helplessly beside her and glanced nervously around the diner. People were staring at them, whispering, not even trying to be discreet. However no one approached them or tried to help him with the sobbing woman in front of him. He looked at Miss Patty who only shrugged and made a sad face. He looked at Kirk and saw that he was crying with Lorelai, clearly out of sympathy. Andrew and Bootsy were staring at him like he had slapped her, and the curious stare of East side Tilly made him very uncomfortable. He could see that Lorelai was trying to smile through her tears, but wasn't succeeding.
"Come on," he said and tugged lightly on her arm, signaling her to come with him, even if she hadn't heard him through her tears and sobs.
It hurt him, hearing her cry like this and he wondered what had happened. Had something happened to Rory? Another fight with her parents? Was she having financial problems? Yet, Lorelai had been through all of that already and never had he seen her cry as heartbreakingly as this.
She stumbled when she stood up and he steadied her with his hand, and wrapped it lightly around her upper arm. He lead her through the diner and behind the counter, moved the curtain aside and led her upstairs to his apartment where they would have more privacy to talk about whatever had happened to her.
He unlocked the door with his right hand, while he placed his left lightly on her back to lead her into his one-room apartment. He ushered her to the couch and sat down beside her, with hardly any distance between them. In general he wouldn't sit as close to her as he did now, but she needed comfort at the moment and he didn't even think about their close proximity.
"What happened?" he asked softly and got only sobs in return. She had started to hiccup by now and was unable to speak, even if she wanted to. She opened her mouth a few times, but couldn't form the words to tell him what was wrong. Embarrassed she buried her face in her hands and cried just a bit harder.
"Hey, hey, why don't you take a deep breath and I'll get you something to drink?" Luke said and stood up. He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and headed into the bathroom and wet a washcloth. With both items in his hands he walked back to the couch and sat back down. When she looked up he opened the bottle of water and handed it to her. With shaky hands she took the bottle from him and sipped a few times, before she gave it back to him. Luke placed the cap back on the bottle and handed her the wet washcloth. She looked questioningly at him, her eyes wet, red and swollen, her makeup smudged, her forehead sweaty.
"You can clean your face with it. You've got that black stuff all over your face," he explained and pointed to the black mascara traces on her cheeks and around her eyes. Lorelai gave a tiny laugh that sounded more like another sob, before she took the wet washcloth from him and wiped her face with it. The cold cloth felt good against her heated skin and she pressed it against her temple for some seconds, because she could already feel the beginning of a headache.
"Better?" she asked quietly, her voice hoarse from crying.
"Better," Luke nodded and took the washcloth back and placed it on the table in front of him. "Will you now tell me what happened? You're scaring me," he asked then and immediately her chin started trembling again.
"I don't know," she pressed out, before another sob erased the other words and she couldn't speak anymore. She shook her head in disbelief that this was happening to her. Suddenly she had no control over her own emotions anymore and she just couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard she tried to.
"Ah Jeez," Luke commented when he saw the new flood of tears, but he placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, so he could soothe her somehow. Lorelai let her head drop against his shoulder and buried her face in the soft flannel shirt he wore. She could smell the grease and the grilled meat from the diner as well as soap and aftershave. He smelled like Luke, only she had never been this close to him before. Now that she got more than a whiff of his typical Luke smell, she knew that she definitely liked it and she rubbed her nose against his shirt.
Like a reflex his other hand went to her head when she leaned against him, and he played with her hair, massaged her skull and pressed her more against his shoulder. His other hand rubbed up and down her back, sometimes drawing soothing circles or stopping for a moment.
Slowly the sobs stopped and he could feel through his already damp shirt that the tears became less and less. He didn't say a word while they sat on the couch as he held her, neither did she. Luke didn't know how much time passed before her breaths became even and deep and she lifted her head slightly, looked at him with sleepy eyes.
"My bag is still downstairs," she muttered quietly, her eyes already fluttering shut again.
"I'll get your bag later," he said softly and she rested her head back against his shoulder and was asleep a minute later.
Luke held her for a while longer, stroking her hair when she suddenly flinched in her sleep, and pressed his lips against her forehead without giving it a second thought. A bit later he placed her on the couch, careful not to wake her. He took off her shoes and placed a blanket over her, before he tiptoed out of the apartment and closed the door quietly behind him.
"Luke, what happened?" Patty immediately asked and hurried towards him when he entered the diner.
"I have absolutely no idea. She cried and then she fell asleep," he shrugged helplessly and took the dishrag and wiped the counter, to keep his hands occupied.
"Oh poor thing," Patty cooed and placed her hand over his, which made him step back a bit farther behind the counter.
"I guess I'll let her sleep it off and then," he hesitated telling Patty that he would talk with her about it. Sure, the town knew they were friends, but he wouldn't make Patty aware of the fact that he knew things about Lorelai that others didn't, simply because he knew she would bug him for information and gossip and he wanted to stay out of that. Better to pretend that he knew nothing about what was going on in town, than to admit that he basically knew every story that was ever told about any citizen of Stars Hollow; after all he was the proprietor of the diner in town, where the gossip was usually spread. " …give her some coffee and something to eat. Maybe she is just food deprived and on a caffeine frenzy," he finished his sentence and shrugged.
"Do that and if you find out what is wrong with her tell me. I have never seen the girl so upset," Patty said and sounded so sympathetic that Luke nearly felt bad about lying to her about the talking thing.
However it was better that way, because if he told her about the talking, or not talking, he had to tell her about the comforting thing and he knew that Patty's version of the time he had spent upstairs holding Lorelai would probably have an adult rating.
While he made his rounds to refill the coffee, he had to think about when he had placed a kiss on her forehead. When he had done it he hadn't even thought about it. Usually he was able to keep his distance and control his actions, but when she had let her guard down today, so had he. It had felt like the most natural thing in the world and he was actually glad that she had been asleep and couldn't remember.
An hour later Luke took a mug filled with coffee and a plate with a tuna sandwich and walked up the stairs. He knew that it was most likely that Lorelai was still asleep, but he needed to know what had happened that had made her so upset.
He couldn't stand the thought that there was something so wrong in her life or that something so horrible had happened that she was this devastated and he couldn't help her. He was always fixing things for her, but before he could fix anything he needed to know exactly what was broken.
Quietly he opened the door and balanced the mug and the plate in one hand as he entered. She didn't even stir when he closed the door or when he placed the mug and plate on the coffee table. He stood beside the couch, not sure how to wake her. He didn't want to yell her name, but after the kiss on the forehead earlier he didn't trust himself enough to get too close to her again.He knew that this would cross the line they had so carefully laid out and that he intended to not cross until she was sending out clear signals that she wanted him to cross it. Tonight he had already stepped with one foot over the line they had so carefully laid out, but luckily Lorelai wasn't aware of it, so it didn't really count.
So he shook her lightly by her shoulder and called her name just loud enough to wake her, but not loud enough to startle her. She turned around and tried to move away from him and from the noise he made, but the couch was narrow and her options limited, so she had to wake up.
"Mmmm, let me sleep," she mumbled and pressed her face against the leather of the couch.
"Wake up, I have coffee and something for you to eat. I think you need it," he said.
"Luke?" she said questioningly and sat up before she glanced confused around the apartment, wondering what she was doing here. Then when the headache slowly set in and the memories returned while the fog of sleep lifted, she knew what had happened and she felt the urge to crawl back under the blanket and hide underneath it, because she felt so ashamed. She felt the heat in her cheeks and knew that she was blushing, something uncommon for her.
Luke watched her and searched for any indication that she would start crying again. However, she only blushed and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and groaned slightly.
"Headache?" he asked, knowing that such extensive crying always resulted in a horrible headache, one that stung badly behind the eyes and hurt right under your skull right until the end of every single hair.
"Mmmh," she murmured, but didn't move her head or her hands.
"I'll get you some Tylenol," Luke said and hurried into the bathroom where he found the Tylenol and walked back to her, handing her first the bottle of water that was still standing on the table from earlier and then the pills. Obediently she took them and washed them down with the water, before she finally looked at him.
"Thank you," she said and the way she looked at him made it clear that she wasn't only talking about the pills, but about everything.
"Here's your liquid death and something to eat," he told her in reply and pushed the plate and the mug in her direction. Lorelai moved her legs off the couch and placed her feet on the ground, noticing for the first time that she was no longer wearing her shoes. Then she ate her sandwich and drank her coffee in complete silence, neither she nor Luke saying anything. When she finished eating and leaned back against the couch with the mug still in her hands, Luke asked her again.
"What happened?" She looked down into the mug, as if she could read the answer in the black liquid, and when she looked up she shrugged helplessly.
"I don't know. It's just one of those days," she said.
"One of those days when you feel the urge to cry your eyes out in the middle of the diner? You have strange passions," he grumbled, but she understood the attempt to lighten the mood and had to smile.
"Maybe… something like that," she shrugged again, still smiling.
"Why?" he wanted to know and looked at her like she had lost her mind. Then suddenly he blushed. "Or is it… you know… that time of the month.. uh, for you" he stumbled over the words, clearly embarrassed to say them. Lorelai laughed.
"No, it's not this time of the month for me, thank you very much. I didn't know you were interested in my, uh, monthly courses," she said mockingly and Luke's face became an even deeper shade of red.
"Jeez, I am not interested in your.… in that. I am just wondering what the hell happened. I'm worried. Is Rory ok?" he asked.
"Rory is fine, everything is… fine," she shrugged and looked down to the mug in her hands, now clearly embarrassed.
"I know I am repeating myself, but why were you crying?" Luke insisted and turned his upper body towards her, making it clear that he was interested and listening and that he wouldn't stop asking until he knew what was wrong.
"It's just that," she stopped and thought about how to explain it. "Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I already know that it's gonna be a crappy day. And then this feeling washes over me, this feeling that I am all alone and," she stopped again, then shook her head from side to side, "God this sounds stupid. Can we just forget I said that?" she asked and looked up.
"I know those days, but they never make me cry my eyes out," Luke said softly.
"For me, that's what they do," she said, encouraged by the fact that he was taking this seriously and not mocking her. "On days like this every little thing puts me on the edge and makes me tear up. Sookie has no time for me, Michel is his usual mean self, I can't get a hold of Rory, my mother calls and bugs me about something, jeans don't fit anymore or an earring disappeared. Today I dropped the milk first thing in the morning. It doesn't even need to be that much on a day like this. Just one small thing and I am fighting with tears. Usually I am able to keep them in until I am alone at home in my bed, but today when you were being so nice to me, actually you were the first person to be nice to me today, I just couldn't fight it anymore. And once I started crying I couldn't stop anymore. I tried, I really did, because I knew it was stupid to cry basically over nothing, but I couldn't…" she said and felt herself tearing up again. "See, here I go again. Just talking about it makes me cry," she sniffed and gave him a teary smile.
Luke looked at her for a moment before he spoke up. "Ok, this crying stops right now. You'll get even more of a headache if you keep bawling. Why don't we, uh, play something or watch a movie?" he suggested and Lorelai had to laugh through her tears.
"Play something?" she grinned.
"Or watch a movie," he added quickly.
"Don't you have to get back to the diner? I really don't want you to feel obliged to stay here with the crazy crying lady. Maybe I should just go home and…," she started, but Luke interrupted her.
"I told Cesar to close, so I am off," Luke said and she nodded.
"What games were you thinking of?" she asked and raised her eyebrows.
"Strip poker," he said and rolled his eyes, another attempt to lighten the mood and make her feel better. It worked and she laughed.
"Really, Luke Danes, who would have thought?" she asked with a smile and added "But I think a movie would be better."
"I don't have that many movies here, but I could go and rent something," Luke replied and got off the couch and walked to the small shelf by the TV and took out the few videos he owned and handed them to Lorelai.
"I have to say, I am shocked that you even have videos, but let's see: Star Trek, Star Trek, Pretty Woman?" she finished and looked questioningly at him.
"It was, uh, Rachel's favorite," he replied and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, before he adjusted his hat.
"Is it okay if we watch it anyway?" she asked.
"Sure, " he shrugged and inserted the tape into the video player. When he turned back around he pointed at her with his index finger and said "No crying during the movie or I'll throw you out." Once again Lorelai smiled and nodded, but didn't say anything.
Luke sat down beside her and started the movie.
They watched the movie in silence, mainly because Lorelai had fallen asleep after the first twenty minutes. Once again Luke found himself with Lorelai's head on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his middle. At first he had tried to maintain his hands-off policy, but when she slid slowly down the couch he had to hold her, otherwise she would have hurt herself. So he had wrapped one arm around her middle, his hand resting on her back and playing with her loose curls.
When the movie was over and the credits played she opened her eyes again and looked straight into Luke's. She felt so comfortable in that moment, that it didn't even cross her mind to cry. Here she was cuddled up to her best friend and all she could think about was how blue his eyes were and how inviting his lips looked.
Luke could see that Lorelai was contemplating something, but he wasn't sure what. He knew that he should let go of her and tell her that she had been the one who had used him as her pillow, but he didn't feel like saying something at that moment. He just stared back at her and let the tension build, wondering for a split second if she had started crying again.
However she then pressed her lips to his and he couldn't think about anything else but her lips and that kiss, the kiss that he had waited so long for.
It was just a short and soft kiss, her lips pressed against his and when she slowly pulled back, letting her lips linger a moment longer against his, he wanted to pull her back against him, but didn't. She looked him in the eyes, her blue ones meeting his and brought her right hand to his cheek.
While Lorelai looked at Luke, allowing herself for the first time to see him as more than a friend, she asked herself why she hadn't done that before. She wondered why she had been too stupid to see this amazing man that had been right in front of her all of these years. What other guy would willingly watch Pretty Woman just because his friend was being ridiculous that day and had had a breakdown in his diner? Every other guy would have handed her a Kleenex and sent her home to deal with her own misery, but not Luke. He was there, like he always had been and she hadn't seen it before. She had ignored his beautiful blue eyes and the tingles she felt whenever he had touched her, no matter how innocent it had been. She had denied to herself seeing him as the gorgeous man that he was and now here he was comforting her and kissing her back with a tenderness she hadn't known so far. She'd had greedy kisses, passionate kisses and kisses that made her think of a washing machine, but never had she experienced a kiss like this.
She felt all tingly and giddy and happy. For the first time that day she could really say that she was happy and content with where she was and what she was doing. And because it wasn't a day like any other all those feelings made her tear up again. She could feel the tears coming and gave him an embarrassed smile, but didn't pull away.
"Are you gonna cry again?" he whispered against her lips when he saw the tears pooling in her eyes.
"I guess so," she sniffed, but smiled at the same time. "Seems like I can't stop the damn tears today," she laughed, pressed her fore head against his and closed her eyes for a second. The first tear escaped when she opened them again and Luke wiped it away with his thumb, before the next one dropped onto his hand.
"Guess I have to make them stop then," he replied in an incredibly sexy voice that she had never heard him use before and that made her pulse speed up.
"How?" she asked and sniffed again. Luke didn't reply. He just grinned and kissed her again until the tears stopped and she was finally able to tell him without tears how good all the other things felt that he did to her that night. It hadn't been a bad day, it had actually been a pretty damn good one.
The end