My hands shook, my vision was bleary, my body numb.
I didn't realise I was screaming his name until I could feel the pain in my throat. But it didn't hurt as much as the pain in my heart.
"Wake up! Wake up!"
I couldn't stop screaming. Begging. Pleading.
I was shaking his body, kneeling on the hot ground of the Wastelands.
The ruins of the Condor were not too far away. But it wasn't about the ship I had once called my home I was crying over.
No.
It was my husband.
He left me behind. Gone. Left me to live alone.
What am I going to do? I can't continue on without him. I love him.
"I love you."
I love him so much. Why couldn't I die, not him? Why did he leave me behind? Why couldn't he stay and stay with me and our baby? Why was he betrayed by that scum?
I'll kill him. I'll kill that stupid boy, Ace.
But it hurts so much.
He can't leave me behind.
My hand shakes as I tenderly brush his red hair off his forehead. His unseeing eyes are looking into the darking skies with an unseeing look. Sobs shake my body.
He can't leave me behind.
And I'm running, screaming apologies to my infant son, Aerrow, who is at home with his nurse. Apologising for not being there to watch him grow his first tooth, take his first step, speak his first word. Not being able to watch him grow up.
I'm so sorry.
But I can't be left behind.
My hands scramble on the crumbling rocks of the cliff. I pull myself up, climbing. I know what I have planned, and nothing will stop me. After what seems like seconds I'm at the top. I can see his unmoving corpse.
"I'm sorry."
And I jump.