Disclaimer: I own no names, and no places. Nor do I own the event that was the ground to my fic. I do own the story, though.

Hogwarts was miserable. And the reason Hogwarts was miserable was because the Marauders was miserable. The reason the whole student body got affected by that was that when the Marauders was miserable their fanclubs also were miserable, and they were a great part of the students. Which meant that the fans' friends also got miserable. And their friends got miserable. The only students who wasn't miserable was the Slytherins (most of them). The teachers were miserable too, because they were worried about their students. Even the giant squid, which Sirius had named Bathsheba in third year, seemed to be miserable. But the people who was most miserable was the Marauders. Remus Lupin was second most miserable of all of them, and Sirius Black was the most miserable at Hogwarts.

Sirius was sitting onto a branch of the beech tree next to the Black lake. He was hidden by the leaves and partly protected from the violent rain, even though he still was soaked, but he didn't care. At least the wetness hid the tears that was streaming down his face. He had been crying constantly the last three months, the first time he could remember crying since he was around five. Actually Sirius couldn't understand how he still could have tears left. He should be dry by now. He watched one of the tentacles of Bathsheba waving to him from the lake. Sheba had been his only company the last three months and the only one who still seemed to want him there. Not that he even deserved the company of a squid after what he had done. What he had done was unforgivable and he couldn't understand how he ever could be forgiven, or how he could forgive himself.

Three months ago he had told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow during a full moon, and almost got him killed. Luckily James had saved him, but he was only moments from getting killed by Moony. If Moony had killed Snape, it would have resulted in the death of Remus too and his expulsion – not that he cared about expulsion. He deserved it. The only reason he hadn't left school was that he couldn't live without being close to his frie- former friends even if they hated him. A werewolf who bit or killed someone got executed. He could have gotten one of his best friends killed by pure stupidity.

He had begged and told Remus he was sorry so many times, but he couldn't bear to see the betrayal, pain and sorrow on his Moony's face anymore. No, Moony wasn't his anymore. He still remembered Remus' words afterwards perfectly; "I want to forgive you, Sirius. I want to forgive you so badly, because I don't know how I will be able to live without you, but still I can't bear to even look at you. Please tell me how to forgive you, because I don't know what I will do otherwise, but I don't know how I ever would be able to have you in my life again after this." "Moony…" Sirius had answered, tentative, because he didn't know either. The fact that Remus said his name instead of nickname hurt too, because it meant that Remus didn't want him there. "No. Only my friends call me Moony, Sirius."
Sirius had nodded and hadn't said anything else. During the last three months he had begged a lot, he had beseeched to Remus to forgive him, and he hadn't been able to focus at anything.

He hadn't been in the dorm more than to get his things since then. He slept in the common room or the other 6th years Boys' dormitories and was outside of the Tower every moment he could. He couldn't bear his former friends' faces. Remus, Peter, James. None of them could forgive him, but he couldn't forgive himself, so he understood why.

More than five years of friendship, and he had destroyed it all in less than a minute. Only the moment it took to tell Snape how to get past the tree. How could he have been that stupid? He sure hated Snape, almost as much as his 'family', but he didn't want him dead. He had just wanted to scare him a little, get him to stop snooping in the Marauders' affairs, but instead he had almost got both him and Moony killed and himself expulsed. What would the Potters have said if they knew? James was his best friend, his brother, and he hadn't said a word to him since then other than to yell at him. So what would Mr and Mrs Potter do and say? The people Sirius loved as parents, who was his parents? He didn't know what he would do if they hated him.

Sirius huddled closer to the tree, closing his robes more in an attempt to get a little warmer. He was shaking, both out of sorrow and cold, but didn't use his wand to place a warming charm or something like that on himself. He didn't deserve warmth.

Remus sat in front of the common room fire, reading a book. It was a very good book, one of his favourites – the Three Musketeers – but he wasn't able to focus. Firstly, the book reminded him too much of Sirius since it was one of the books Remus had read aloud for his friends over the years and they had loved to play musketeers when they were younger, and secondly, he quite much never was able to focus anymore. The only thing that existed was the pain over the betrayal, the fear of what could've happen if James hadn't been in time and the extreme sorrow over not having Sirius in his life anymore. He wanted to forgive Sirius, he wanted it so much, but he couldn't. He had tried, he had really tried to find a way, but he wasn't able to. Sirius was stupid sometimes, he knew that. He acted before he thought, and never realized there would be consequences. That had pretty much always been Remus' job. But this time he had gone too far.

He could've made Remus a murderer and on the same time got him executed. And the only thing that would've happened to Sirius was that he would have gotten expelled. Really, nothing worse would have happened. It would all have been Remus' fault in the Ministry's eyes, because he's the werewolf, the monster. Sirius on the other hand is a pureblood from the Black family, even if he was disowned. He would never get in trouble for something they could accuse a half-breed, a werewolf, a monster, for. A half-blood half-breed even. The only thing that could've made it worse would be if he was muggleborn. Or a squib, for that matter, but then this would never have happened because he would never have attended Hogwarts. Not that he would have done it anyway if anyone but Dumbledore had been headmaster. Who else would let in a werewolf?

Submissive to the realization that he would get nothing done he closed his book with a sigh. He had tried to do his homework, tried to talk to James and Peter, tried to talk to McGonagall and write letters to his parents but he couldn't focus at anything. Professor McGonagall had been kind enough to make sure none of the Marauders' lack of submitted homework would affect their grades right now, understanding that there was no way they would be able to succeed to keep their usual top grades.

He stood up and left his armchair. Almost immediately, as soon as they understood he wouldn't come back, two second years took the seat. The other students had enormous respect for the Marauders and no one dared to occupy their favourite seats if they wanted them, not even when it was Remus who never hexed people for such things. So even if Remus' favourite armchair was one of the best in the room it was immediately left alone as fast as he came toward the fire.

Remus sighed again and looked around. James and Peter was playing wizarding chess in the corner of the common room, they knew he wanted to be left alone right now, and everyone was unusually quiet. Maybe a result of the horrible weather outside. He noted that Sirius wasn't here either, not that he ever was before curfew any longer. He didn't knew if he should be relieved or sad. He wanted Sirius so badly, wanted Sirius to be his friend again, but since he couldn't forgive him it was so painful to have Sirius close. But still, he wanted Sirius wherever he was. By now, he was almost numb to the pain, the longing and the sorrow. He almost couldn't feel anymore.

Looking at his wristwatch he saw that it was half an hour to curfew, but he couldn't stay in here anymore, being a prefect be damned. Since when had a Marauder cared about rules anyway? Remus signed to James that he would take the Invisibility Cloak and James nodded. Just like all of them James' face looked older and much sadder, without it usual cheerfulness and cockiness, without Sirius. They all missed him so much, but neither James nor Peter was going to forgive Sirius before he did.

He walked upstairs to the Marauders' dormitory and grabbed the Cloak before quickly leaving the Gryffindor Tower. His heart felt heavy as he walked haphazardly around the castle, taking one or another secret passageway and shortcut without really thinking about where he was going. His thoughts were occupied with other things. Sirius showed up in his mind once again when he found himself in the Entrance Hall. Watching outside the rain was pouring down, it was almost a storm outside – only rain though, there wasn't a breeze outside strange enough. He felt a single tear roll down his cheek and furiously wiped it away. He had cried and cried for Sirius, for the loss of one of his best friends, and he had had enough. He didn't have energy to mourn more even if he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball in a dark corner forever. But he had to leave this behind him. He couldn't go and be sad for the rest of his life. Still… a life without Sirius had been unthinkable for a long time ago and it was impossible to imagine not having him there. It physically hurt to even think about the possibility which now was very likely.

Taking on the Cloak Remus slipped outside in the rain and didn't care that he was soaked within seconds. He had to get out, to get fresh air and maybe clear his thoughts. Reflexively he began to walk down to the Black lake, which was where they usually had hung out since 1st year. The beech tree, specifically.

He didn't take of the Invisibility Cloak even when he got out of eyesight of the castle, he simply didn't think about it. As he got closer to the tree he began to feel numb, but continued anyway. He saw one of Bathsheba's tentacles waving from the lake and again his thoughts wandered to Sirius. Sirius who had named the giant squid because he felt that it was mean to only call it, or her, the giant squid all the time. "Sirius…" Remus whispered, longing so much for his friend.

He came closer to the tree and sat down, leaning toward the trunk. He was cold, he was freezing, shaking, but he didn't care. He had to get rid of those thoughts. It was over. He didn't want it to be over, he wanted so badly to go back three months and make sure nothing of this happened, but it was nothing he could do.

He huddled into the Cloak and put his head in his lap, trying to forget everything when a very familiar voice came from above. He wasn't sure if he would stay or run for his life when he recognized it (after the first two words).
"What am I going to do, Sheba?" It was Sirius' voice. A voice he had heard both way too much and way too little the last months. The voice that was usually so melodic was harsh and dry from crying and exhaustion, because Remus knew that Sirius had been crying a lot – and so had he. "I don't know how will be able to continue exist after this. Without my friends. I miss them so much, but I can't… if I can't even forgive myself for what I did, how can I ever expect them to?"
Remus' breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to hear this, because it would hurt so much, especially if it wasn't enough. But maybe…. Just perhaps he could find what he needed to forgive his best friend now. Remus felt a small, small glimpse of hope, but tried to get rid of it. He didn't want to get his hopes worked up and get disappointed.

"I didn't want Snape to get killed, or hurt. I don't even know why I sent him there. I guess I just wanted to scare him away from us." When he heard this Remus felt angry. More excuses? But it disappeared when he continued to listen to the other boy. "I never thought about what could happen. Oh, why do I have to be such a dolt?! I never once thought about what could happen to Moo… Remus. I never once thought about the consequences. I didn't even think about that Snape could die! I'm so stupid. I must be the most idiotic person on Earth!"
Bubbles rose to the surface of the lake, and it was almost like the giant squid had answered Sirius. Well, if she understood what Sirius said it could explain why even she had been so depressed the last months.
"I deserve to be expelled. I don't even know why Dumbledore didn't expel me! It would have been better for everyone. I could've… I don't know, lived with the muggles. Then at least I couldn't hurt anyone I love. It's so hard. I tries to keep out of their ways, and I don't want to see them because I can't look at their faces, but on the same time it hurts to be away from them. I love them, Sheba. I love Peter. I love James. I love Remus. And I just wish they would know how sorry I am. But what good would that make?" he added bitterly. "I've destroyed everything. Even if they did knew, they would never forgive me, and with all right. I wouldn't forgive me either. I do not forgive myself, you know. Oh, look at me. I'm pathetic. Who would ever thought they would see the day when Sirius Black is pathetic? But yet, here I am, sitting in the rain, talking to a squid."

"I have even thought about quitting Hogwarts. It's a nightmare to be here but not being able to be close to them. They're my family. And they hate me. Just like my blood-family."
Sirius broke out in sobs, and as always Remus' heart broke. He had never seen Sirius cry before The Prank. It always broke his heart, but it had never been enough to heal the injuries Sirius' betrayal had given it.

"I-I-I…" Sirius stammered, trying to say something between the sobs. "I can't handle this. I do-don't want this anymore. I wish I could just mo-move in with you, Sheba. I could live with th-the merpeople. Maybe the pain would ease off a little then. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish Moony hadn't trusted me, because then I would never have been able to hurt him. I could even live a thousand lifetimes with my blood-family if that meant I wouldn't have caused him so much pain. I wish we never had met!"

Suddenly Remus wasn't angry anymore. Sure it was only words that Sirius would live with his family, but he said them to a squid and didn't know Remus was there, so they must mean something. Bathsheba made a sound that could either be agreement or disagreement, or nothing special. For the first time in three months he smiled slightly and took the Invisibility Cloak off, looking up and seeing Sirius on his usual branch.

"I don't, Padfoot." He said softly.

Sirius winced in surprise and almost fell down from the tree when he heard the very familiar voice beneath him. For a moment he thought he had hallucinated but then he looked down and saw Remus, just as drenched as he, standing there with the Cloak in his hand, looking at him with his big green eyes and his brown hair hanging down in his face. Remus hated wet hair, it reminded him too much of blood, and still he stood here, totally soaked. Then he realized something else. Remus had called him Padfoot. Something that no one had done since before The Prank. Could it mean that he's forgiven? No, he didn't dare to get his hopes up yet.

"Remus?" he mumbled, still a bit in shock, and the werewolf nodded slowly. Sirius was grateful that the rain hid the fact that he actually had tears in his whole face, but on the other hand he was probably red-eyed by now. Carefully he lowered himself to the ground and soon he stood in front of the other boy, who for the first time in an eternity didn't look betrayed. But that didn't help much. Sirius' guilt was still crushing, even if Remus' didn't look betrayed right now.
"Oh, Remus, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, shaking of restrained sobs. For two months ago he would've tried to touch Remus, but he had learnt by now that that wasn't a good idea. Remus would only shake him off and both of them would feel even worse. "I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't think, I didn't even want to hurt Snape! I'm so sorry!"
He expected Remus to tell him it wasn't enough again, but instead he was shocked when a pair of arms embraced him. Instinctively he threw his arms around his friend and buried his face in Remus' shoulder. Oh, how he had missed the smell of Remus. Chocolate, old books and parchments, something slightly furry and the Marauders' dorm, which included all their smells.

They hugged each other tightly and slid down to the ground, not letting go.
"I forgive you, Pads. I forgive you." Remus mumbled into Sirius' hair meanwhile Sirius continued to tell him he was sorry. They sat like that in what felt like an eternity and they were both shaking from cold and exhaustion when they let go of each other.
"Really?" Sirius said ruefully but with a hopeful glimpse in his eyes. "You really do forgive me?"
Remus nodded with a soft smile and Sirius smiled, he too for the first time in three months.
"Thank you, Remus! Thank you so much!"
"Moony." Remus corrected with a smile and Sirius looked even happier, if that was possible. He nodded eagerly.
"Moony." He said contently.

Remus looked out and realized it was in the middle of the night. It was absolutely dark, and the sky was enlightened by stars. It had finally stopped raining, and the stars and the crescent moon shone clearer than they ever had done before.
"Look." He said and pointed at one star. "There's Sirius."
Sirius smiled and looked at his star. His name was one of the few things he liked that the Family had given him. Sirius, the Dog Star, the brightest star in Canis Major. They watched the sky for a few minutes before Remus turned back to Sirius.
"Maybe we should go back." He said. "It's late, and we have school tomorrow."
Sirius nodded and they huddled together under the Cloak once again, happy to finally be friends again. Their relationship wouldn't be exactly the same for a while, but with some work they both knew it could be, with time.

James flew out of his armchair as he saw the portrait fly open, but no one came in.
"Remus?" he said worriedly. It was late and Remus was never out late when it was school next day if they didn't force him. Suddenly the Cloak was dragged off by invisible hands and two persons was visible again, standing close to each other. Remus, and Sirius. James and Peter both stared and Remus smiled happily – which was a feat, he hadn't smiled once since Then – and Sirius smiled tentatively, looking unsure.
"Sirius? Remus?" Peter asked, wondering what was going on. "Why are you together?"
Remus grabbed Sirius' wrist and held firmly.
"I forgave him." He told them. "So I think you should too."

Peter was the quickest to. He walked to them and looked at Remus, who nodded. Then he quickly gave Sirius a one-armed hug which Sirius responded to, relieved. Peter then backed off, to try to escape the possible storm. James was staring at them in disbelief and Sirius looked actually scared when he looked at his very best friend. So many thoughts flew through his head, but the only thing he could say was:
"You… forgave him?"
"Yep." Remus nodded.
"Just… like that?"
"Kind of… I guess."
"AFTER ALL HE HAS DONE?! HE COULD'VE GOTTEN SNAPE KILLED! HE COULD'VE GOTTEN YOU KILLED!"
All the other three boys had expected this. James had hard to get over a betrayal, especially from someone he loved, at least until he got a good reason. And they wasn't sure if there were anybody he loved more than Sirius. Probably not. Remus nodded slowly.
"Yes, Prongs. After all he has done. He really is sorry, James. He does regret it very much."

James calmed down quickly. He was soon to judge, soon to lash up and soon to forgive.
"Really?"
Sirius nodded, staring at his feet and unsure what James would do now. He heard footsteps and suddenly he felt a sting. Looking at his hands he realized he was purple. Bright purple.
"That's for everything you've done." James said, putting his wand back in his pocket. Sirius nodded again, it was the least he could do, go around purple. And suddenly he was engulfed in another hug, this time by his brother-in-all-but-blood. He inhaled the calming smell of James and couldn't help but feel like he finally had come home again.
"And that's for coming back to us. To me."

For the first time in three months Sirius slept in his own dormitory again. They used a spell to move the beds together, so tonight they all slept in one gigantic bed, close to each other and relieved that it finally was over.

When the Marauders walked into breakfast together once again, talking and laughing like nothing had happened (even if things was a tiny bit more tense than usual) nearly everyone in Hogwarts sighed in relief. Maybe everything would return back to normal now. The Slytherins wasn't happy though. Sad Marauders had mean that they didn't have to be worried about getting pranked, but now they would surely be soon.

"Prongs?" Sirius asked, not sure if he wanted answer on the question he would ask.
"Yes, Padfoot?"
"Have you… have you told mum and dad? They said nothing in their letters, but…" He meant Mr and Mrs Potter of course. He had begun to call them mum and dad when he moved in with the Potters last summer. James smiled and shook his head and Sirius sighed in relief.
"No. I told them we wasn't the best of friends right now, but nothing more than that. Didn't want to worry them. They will be relieved to know that we're back."
"With regard to the word back" Remus said with a grin. "I think the Marauders been away for way too long. What about a prank to show Hogwarts that we're back?"
His friends grinned similar evil grins.
"Moony, my friend." Sirius said, with obvious happiness of being able to once again. "I think you're a mind reader."

Review!

Well, now I've written about this too. You maybe understood that I don't find it very logical like it is in some stories, where Sirius doesn't regret it at all, or not regrets it much, and/or Remus is extremely quick to forgive him. I mean, like I pointed out in the story, not only Snape could've died, but Remus too.

But I do realize this perhaps was a little too much, and that it maybe was slightly less... painful in "reality" or canon, but well, this was what my mind made it to, and even though it might was overdramatic in some ways I don't want to re-write it so it will stay like this. :) Okay, now I've written another version, so I post it as another chapter of this. I hope you'll like it!

Also, notice that it was Remus who came up with the proposal to a prank, because I think he was an evil mastermind behind many of the Marauders' greatest pranks and the only reason he wasn't caught and seen like innocent was because he was extremely good at making people believe it wasn't his fault, making them think he's "poor-Lupin-who-Potter-and-Black-corrupted" and making them feel "no, look at that face! I can't put him in detention. It must've been all Potter and Black's fault". But that's only a charade and Remus is just as good at pranks as the others, he only doesn't want to hurt or bully someone. Otherwise he's on everything. Or most of it, at least.

Ps! I'm working at writing Sirius' tea with Professor Minnie, but it's really hard. Feel free to give me suggestions about what they will talk about, what will happen and such things. I would be very grateful!