Disclaimer: Original song belongs to Walt Disney. Doom belongs to ID Software. Don't sue.
…
A Whole New Gun
…
Having trouble with Doom? Every level gets harder.
Getting pummeled to death when playing on the easiest mode?
Wipe those tears from your eyes, I will show you a wonder.
It will solve all your blunders without punching secret codes.
The BFG,
A new fantastic gun to use.
Watch as the trigger goes, and off she blows,
Away those horrible monsters.
The BFG,
A dazzling thing I never knew.
But when the green balls fly, the bastards fry,
'Cause now I've got this whole new gun with you.
Undefeatable might, indescribable killings,
Bones and organs are spilling through an endless bloody night.
The BFG,
(Don't you dare close your eyes,)
Wait 'til imps get a load of me.
(Hold your breath it gets better.)
I am a plasma god, amongst those slobs,
I can't go back to how I used to be.
The BFG,
With Cacodemons to pursue.
I'll hunt them everywhere, no lives to spare,
Let me share this whole new gun with you.
The BFG,
Arachnotrons are spider stew.
After a quick reload, their brains explode,
Their slime I'll soon be bathing in.
The BFG,
(Every blast a surprise,)
I know Roald Dahl is gonna sue.
(My screen's splattered and redder.)
But when that weapon flares, best say your prayers!
Say your prayers, no time to spare.
Let me share this whole new gun with you.
The BFG.
The BFG.
I'm dancing free,
So fancy free.
A thrilling gun,
Such gory fun,
For you and me.