Disclaimer: Ownership is neither claimed nor implied.
A/N: Quinn was devastated, she'd lost it, completely lost it and she knew she'd never find it again...
*note at end*
"And don't forget to take out the trash," Quinn called, leaning back in through the open front door to make sure Puck heard her.
"I fucking know about the trash, you told me three times already," Puck grumbled quietly as he heard the door slam shut. "Here boy, up here," he called to the huge German Shepherd. "She's gone now, you can get on the bed, yes you can, yes you...grrrr," he talked baby talk with the dog first then descended into growling with him, petting the dog's ears roughly. The dog, as usual, loved the attention from Puck, his absolute idol, he would follow Puck anywhere. "Ooof," Puck half groaned, half laughed when the heavy dog flopped all his weight on Puck as he laid down. Within half an hour, both Puck and the dog were asleep.
"For fuck's sake," Quinn growled angrily when she walked into the bedroom. "So I take it the trash didn't go out? What about work?" she griped. "Lost another job?" she demanded.
Puck blinked and turned over. "Crap, is that the time already?" he thought to himself. "Woah, calm down, jeez," he cried, hoping that Quinn would just shut the fuck up, he had a banging headache. "And I haven't lost my job, I'm just suspended," he reminded her, "without pay," he added under his breath.
"No work equals no pay, Noah," Quinn shouted, leaning forwards, her hands on her hips. Puck didn't need to be told that she was pissed, he knew that she was pissed, the only time she ever called him 'Noah' was when she was pissed. She was seriously pissed. "Did you even do anything today?" she asked crossly, finally taking her coat off. "I mean, did you even start the painting?" she asked then sniffed the air. "Guess not," she muttered when she couldn't detect the odour of fresh paint in the air. "We don't have too much longer, Noah, you really need to get to grips with this, it's happening whether we're ready or not," she reminded him then spun away to waddle down the hall to the kitchen. "A freakin' ten hour shift and I still have to come home to cook dinner. Where the hell's the equaity there?" she grumbled to herself. "And get that dog off my bed," she shouted, projecting her voice towards the bedroom.
Puck got out of bed, pulled on his sweats and followed Quinn. "Of course we did stuff today, didn't we, Rome?" he said to the dog. "What? Do you think I just let him crap in the house? We went out, I picked up two training sessions this morning at the gym and another this afternoon," he explained, pouting at Quinn as he reached the kitchen, "and at least I get paid for doing those, I only laid down after my shower because I have a headache, I didn't intend to fall asleep," he added. "Dinner is in the fridge, my mom brought a casserole over, she thinks you're doing too much," he said, almost accusingly.
"Well, one of us has to have a steady pay check," Quinn retorted, knowing that she was being deliberately bitchy, unfair, knowing that his mom was probably right but absolutely loathe to admit it. Quinn hated to admit that his mother could ever be right, the woman had made her life a misery for years and she still, even after all these years, grumbled about Quinn eating bacon. "Only six weeks till I start my maternity leave," she reminded him, thankful for the new legislation that gave mothers six months off with full pay and fathers one month off with full pay. All supposing Puck was back at work from his suspension, that is. "There won't be any overtime though, just my regular pay."
Puck subtly ignored the dig at his current lack of salary. "Well, the room is prepared, I'm just waiting for your final decision. Which of the three colours do you actually want me to use?" he asked, guiding Quinn to the newly prepped room. In reality he could have just painted the room with any one of the creams that Quinn had chosen, any one of them would look gorgeous, but Puck knew that Quinn was so tapped out lately, so on the edge, that whatever choice he made, it would have been wrong.
"You did all that today?" Quinn asked, feeling herself fill up with tears as she looked around the room at the smoothed, filled walls, it was ready, totally ready, just waiting for her to say the word. "Stupid hormones," she mumbled, brushing the tears away.
Puck sighed softly, wrapping his arms round Quinn from behind, resting his chin on her head. "You look so different this time, I bet this one's a boy," he decided, rubbing his hands on her bump.
"This one is enormous," Quinn agreed, she felt huge, like a baby elephant, bigger than she had been the day before...no, she wasn't going to think about that, "bigger than when I was pregnant with Beth anyways, oh, that reminds me," she said, looking over her shoulder a little. "Shelby called me at the hospital this morning, Beth is going to have Hanukka at home with her then come to us for Christmas."
"Cool," Puck replied with a satisfied sigh. By that time their new baby would have arrived, he couldn't imagine anything better, anything more complete, to have his family and friends, his loved ones around him. Well, one thing would make it more complete, but that could never happen...
"Thank you Quinn, if you'd just like to lie down on the couch for me, please," Dr Rosenberg said quietly.
"Thanks," Quinn murmured to the nurse who lent her hand to steady Quinn. "Where the hell are you, Puckerman?" Quinn thought to herself. "You know what time the appointment is, I've been telling you for two weeks," she sighed as silently as she could. Let down again by one selfish asshole, otherwise known as Noah Puckerman. When would she ever learn? "Never," she thought to herself in reply to her own silent question. "I still love him, despite all the times he let me down when we were teenagers, all the times we broke up and got back together, even when he went off and joined the freakin' airforce, like an idiot. As if he'd ever been able to follow orders before," Quinn rolled her eyes and sighed again then jumped a little as Dr Rosenberg's cold hands touched her stomach.
"Sorry, Quinn," the portly doctor apologised, "did I make you jump?" he asked.
"Mmm," Quinn nodded with a smile. They all turned at a knock on the door. Quinn scowled at the face that popped round it.
"I'm not too late am I?" Puck asked breathlessly. "The receptionist said to come on back," he explained, noting the dark stare from Quinn. "Crap, I'm still in fucking trouble," he thought before taking Quinn's hand as the doctor did his stuff.
"This isn't so good, Quinn," Dr Rosenberg said with a heavy frown. "The baby is breech and you are working yourself far too hard," he announced.
"Breech?" Puck asked nervously. "What does that mean?"
"It means the baby is the wrong way round," Quinn explained with a scowl on her face.
"Yes, essentially it means that the baby isn't presenting with head down, which, obviously, is the optimal position for delivery," Dr Rosenberg said, pointing out the charts on the walls of his examining room that depicted the different problem deliveries. "We can try to turn the baby, and we will keep a check on that," he reassured the nervous parents.
"Everything else is ok, though, right?" Puck fished, he didn't want to hear about any other problems, he didn't think he could take it.
"Yes, well, your blood pressure is a little high Quinn and your weight a little low, we could do with swapping those issues around," Dr Rosenberg teased to soften the blow.
Quinn pulled a face and sighed. She wasn't surprised at all. Throughout the entire pregnancy it had been one thing after another. Puck was sure they were being targeted by unseen, outside forces. "But they'll both be ok, right doc?" Puck asked nervously, just a hint of a giggle trembling in his voice.
"Quinn needs to slow down a little, take more time for herself, rest," Dr Rosenberg answered, looking pointedly at Quinn rather than at Puck. "She thinks I don't see her storming round the hospital at a hundred miles an hour," he told Puck then looked back at Quinn. "Whether you're on duty or coming in to see me as a patient, I still keep track of what you're doing," he informed Quinn who looked down, shamefaced. "Yes, you can look away," Dr Rosenberg teased. "But seriously Quinn, given your past history, you really need to start taking better care of yourself. Too many times we haven't even got to this stage, I'm doing my bit, I need you to do yours too, ok?" he said quietly, seriously.
"Yes doctor," Quinn murmured, a fear descending on her that she couldn't quite shake off.
"Do you think she'd be better off starting her maternity leave early?" Puck asked as Quinn struggled to sit up. He assisted her, holding her hand as she slid off the couch. He looked at Quinn's scowling face. "If it's better for you and the baby then I think that's what you should do," he said with a shrug and he didn't care if she shouted at him.
"Actually, I think Noah is right, I think you should consider giving yourself a full month to rest before your due date," Dr Rosenberg agreed
"But that will mean I don't have as much time with the baby once it is here before I have to go back to work," Quinn pouted. "I want to work right up to the last possible moment then take the full time with the baby."
"And your health is more important," Puck sighed. "I know that's what you want to do, but right now, I think you need to focus on you being healthy, the baby being healthy," he said, giving her the look he'd perfected over the years, the one that made her insides fizz, the one that made her melt, the one that had landed them in so much trouble when they were younger.
"Fine, I'll speak to the nursing manager," Quinn said quietly and, though she'd die before admit it, secretly felt relieved. Lost in her thoughts, Quinn shook her head, brought back to the room by Dr Rosenberg's voice.
"That's good Quinn and I'll see you next week," Dr Rosenberg said with a smile, pleased that she'd taken his advice. "But you know where I am if there are any problems."
"So when are we going to find out if we have a Puckasaurus or a Quinzilla in here?" Keren, Puck's sister asked and gave Quinn's tummy a rub.
"When it actually gets here," Puck grumbled as he brought drinks to the table then sat down. "She still wouldn't let them tell us today even though I know Dr Rosenberg has the info in her file."
"And we aren't going to find out either," Quinn said once again as she put hot dishes on the table. "Eat up before it gets cold," she advised.
"Like food has ever gone cold on this table," Keren scoffed, looking at the delicious food, she almost missed the look that passed between her brother and his wife. Puck thought back to that day eight months ago, the day when he'd swept their dinner from the table, sending plates and dishes crashing to the floor, when he'd dragged Quinn in front of him, when she'd ripped his pants open and the shirt from his body, when he'd torn the clothes from her, when they'd fallen across the table so far into each other that the world could have ended and they wouldn't have known it. Keren happened to glance up as she lifted the dish of mashed potato. "Eww, please tell me you disinfected the table afterwards," she said with a gulp. Puck just winked and grinned. Quinn rolled her eyes and sat down, red faced.
"So did you hear from Beth yet?" Keren asked as she filled her plate. "Is she coming for the holidays?" she asked. Puck explained when Beth would be visiting. "I can not believe that she is in college already, it blows my mind," she added as she settled down to eat.
"I know, it makes me feel so old," Quinn sighed, reaching for the dish of vegetables.
"Thirty five," Puck grinned, "my very own cougar," he teased. "I am only thirty four don't forget," he reminded them. Well, he was for another two months anyway.
"You are four months younger than me, that's all, don't make it sound like years, and I thought I was your MILF not your cougar," Quinn pouted. "God, thirty five," she sighed inside her head as she carefully filled her plate. "Thirty five and just about to be a mother," her thoughts went. Quinn sighed as she absently piled more food on her plate. "Please, please make everything turn out alright this time."
"But Yale, you must be so proud of her, I know I am and I'm only her aunt," Keren said, tucking in to her dinner, turning the subject back around to Beth.
"We are," Puck replied, taking Quinn's hand and smiling at her. "I mean, I know that it's all down to Shelby, she's the one who raised Beth after all, but I don't know, maybe it's genetic too," he shrugged.
Keren helped Quinn to clear up after dinner. "Mom said to tell you that she's finished crocheting some blankets for the baby," Keren said with a glance at Quinn. "You know she's really excited about this, don't you?" she asked. "She's waited a long time for this."
"I know," Quinn sighed, "I have too and I wish she'd have come over for dinner tonight," she added, hoping that she sounded more sincere out loud than she did in her head.
"Ha," Puck's bark of laughter made both Quinn and Keren turn to the door. "I'm not even saying anything, do you want to come and check this now it's done?" he asked, pointing with the screwdriver he carried.
"So did you stick with the shabby chic theme?" Keren asked as she dried her hands and followed Quinn and her brother to the nursery.
"Yep, creams and gingham, what do you think?" Quinn asked as she stepped into the transformed room. "Oh, it's gorgeous," she breathed as she turned slowly, looking round, taking it all in, the full effect now that the room was complete. "The pale cream was exactly right, you were right," she acknowledged to Puck. Puck didn't reply, he just gave that half smile that Quinn loved so much. "Don't look so smug," she said with a smile.
"But it does look good," Keren praised, running her hand along the top rail of the shaker-style crib. "And you can change the fabric to fit either a girl or a boy," she realised, seeing the different colours of folded gingham laid inside the crib.
"Yes, we just need to wait now," Puck replied, hugging Quinn close, swaying with her just a little. "Four more weeks and that's it, we won't be a couple anymore," he reminded her, his smile getting wider and wider, "we'll be a family," he sighed happily. "Again," he added silently.
"So why were you late for the appointment?" Quinn asked as she took the scatter cushions and throw pillows off the bed. Puck might have thought she'd forgotten, but she hadn't. Not at all.
Puck sighed as he pulled on his ratty old sweats, his back to Quinn. "Crap," he thought then turned around. "I had an interview with Captain Johnson," he admitted.
Quinn waited, Puck wasn't forthcoming with any more information. "Well?" she demanded, her heart beating just a little bit louder, a little faster.
Puck swallowed before telling her the bald truth. "I start back tomorrow but I lost my stripes, busted back down to officer but hey, we're still a K-9 unit, at least Rome still has his job too," he said with a smile. "And it's a pay cut too, can't get a sergeant's salary if I don't have the stripes."
"That dumb freakin' dog," Quinn sighed, a smile lighting her face, now she felt that she could breathe, now she could relax. "Just make sure, next time you're on a drugs bust, that he doesn't snort most of the evidence before you get it away from him," she suggested as she climbed into bed.
"Yeah," Puck agreed as he climbed in too, "but it was fucking hysterical when he was loaded," he laughed.
Quinn felt so much happier when she settled in to bed, warmed when Puck's arms wrapped around her and his body moulded her back. She sighed heavily as she drifted off to sleep.
"Mama," a little voice called. "Mama."
"Yes sweetie?" Quinn replied, leaning over to kiss the blond curls. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Paintin'" the little angel replied, the voice so clear, so beautiful. "Will you paint with me, mama?"
"I can't right now sweetie," Quinn replied. "I have to make dinner, ready for when daddy gets home."
"When's daddy coming home?" the angel asked. "Will Cougar be with him too?"
"Yes, Cougar will come home with daddy, she's daddy's new partner," Quinn answered with an indulgent smile. "I'll just be in the kitchen sweetie, do you want to come with me?" she asked. The little blond curls swung as the little head shook. "Ok, but give me a call if you need anything," she advised.
"I will, mama," the high pitched lilting voice replied, causing Quinn to smile even more, causing her to have to stifle a little giggle.
"Hey, are you ok?" Puck asked huskily, coming awake slowly, roused by Quinn's fitful sleep.
"Mmm," Quinn answered, too afraid to speak in case she broke apart. She drifted reluctantly back off to sleep.
"Hey," Puck murmured against Quinn's lips as soon as he walked through the door. "Cougar, knock it off," he called over his shoulder as the dog bounced into the living room and immediately started barking. "Cougar, jeez," he called again as the dog ignored his command. "What's with that dog today?" he muttered to himself as he walked through to the other room. "Quinn," Puck shouted, a frantic edge to his voice. "Call 911, we need a paramedic. NOW," he screamed.
Quinn ran to the lounge, the phone in her hand, speaking to the operator as she went. "It's my daughter, she's four," she managed to say as she watched her husband perform chest compressions on the little girl. "She's not breathing, my husband is doing that right now," she explained. "She was painting, she's got yellow paint on her lips, no there's still no pulse, please tell them to hurry," she sobbed as she dropped the phone to take over from Puck, he continued with the mouth to mouth, Quinn did the compressions, Cougar stood back, backing away into the corner of the room, growling low in her throat.
The autopsy revealed that the yellow paint had contained high levels of cyanide. The manufacturers had no idea that the cyanide was in the paint, there hadn't been any sort of warning, any sort of threat, it was a mystery.
"Bye bye Jellybean," Beth had whispered as her little sister was laid to rest. Quinn had been inconsolable, Puck had barely been able to hold himself up, never mind Quinn. The support from their friends had been amazing. The support from their families had been less so. It had taken Quinn years to feel able to try again, to live again, although she had never really forgiven Cougar. It was like Quinn blamed Cougar for being the bearer of bad news. Quinn liked Rome much better, she got on with him in a way that she never had with any other dog, connected with him, there was something about him, something special.
"Bad night?" Puck asked when Quinn dragged herself tiredly from their bed.
"Dreams," Quinn replied with a sad smile and a shrug. "What shift are you on?" she asked, hoping to change the subject.
"Late shift," Puck answered, reaching out to take Quinn's hand. "Sure you're ok?" he asked.
"I'll be fine, just two more shifts to work then I'm finished for the duration," Quinn said, much more brightly.
"What shift are you on?" Puck asked, still trying to gauge Quinn's mood, her general well being.
"I'm on a late too, we can go grocery shopping this morning," Quinn suggested, hoping to deflect Puck and also hoping to get out of the house for a while, she felt really unsettled today.
"Cool, I'll take Rome out first," Puck agreed as he finished his breakfast.
"See you in an hour," Quinn called as Puck left the house with the dog. The second the door closed behind Puck, Quinn sank down, her head landed on her arms on the table, she felt absolutely exhausted.
Puck and Rome took their usual run, jogging through the park, greeting other dogs and owners out for their own morning walks and runs. "So are you ready for the baby to come?" Puck asked the dog as they ran along side by side. Rome looked up at Puck, his eyes seemed to be saying "a bit late to ask me now." Puck laughed at the ridiculousness of his question. "Yeah, I know, like it makes a difference," he added with a breathess grin. "I just...I'm scared Rome, really scared, I mean, we couldn't keep Gila safe, we couldn't save her," he explained, "and I don't think we've ever recovered from that." Rome made a half growling, yowling noise in his throat, as if he was trying to talk. "Yeah, I know, it was your mother who was with us then," Puck said bending to give lots of praise, hugs, strokes, attention to the dog. "She was wonderful, your mother, she was my first partner, she was amazing, you missed out there dude, she was the best," he said sadly, remembering his partner, lost in the line of duty only weeks after returning to active duty after giving birth to Rome and three other pups.
"Hey, we're back," Puck called still getting his breath back. He'd let Rome loose in the enclosed back yard and was now getting him a drink and some food.
"Well, when you're showered we can call and see your mother, then go grocery shopping," Quinn said as she breezed into the kitchen then out of it with an armful of laundry.
Puck choked on his drink, thankful that he was standing over the sink as he spewed water all over. "Did I just hear you right?" he joked. "You're volunteering to go see my mother? Without me guilting you into it?" he asked, grinning.
Quinn crossed her eyes and poked her tongue out at Puck. "Look, don't mock otherwise I might change my mind," she said, trying to keep the positive, happy air around her. "I don't know, there's bridges to mend and not a lot of time to mend them," she admitted. "I have to let go of the blame," she said simply. "I know, deep down, I really do know that it wasn't your mom's fault, I know that she wouldn't have bought Gilly the paints if she'd known they were contaminated and I know that I've harboured that anger at your mom and I never should have," she told Puck, feeling a warmth inside her, a kernal of happiness that was usually missing in her life.
Puck took Quinn in his arms and held her close. He couldn't let her go, the emotion he felt almost swamped him, his eyes were damp, he was so grateful to hear that coming from her, so thankful that she seemed to be moving on, he hoped his mom could do the same, let go of the guilt that had engulfed her since the findings of the autopsy.
"Hey Ma," Puck called as he walked through the door first, leading Quinn by the hand. "Are you up there?" he shouted up the stairs in the direction of the faint response he'd heard. "Just a sec," he said to Quinn and bounded up the stairs. "Ma," Puck cried when he found his mother. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, going to her aid immediately. "You think you could have waited for Keren to get home to do that?" he asked.
"Is everything alright?" Quinn called from the top of the stairs. "Can I do anything?" she asked, peeking round the bedroom door. "Oh Meira, what have you done?"
"I was trying to get these blankets down and I brought the whole shelf down on top of me," Meira Puckerman explained, she sounded totally fed up, annoyed, probably at herself, embarrassed at being stuck. "Will you help me up?" she asked her son.
"Here you go," Puck said with a little smile as he finished removing the knitted and crocheted works of art that were piled on top of his mother and the wooden shelf that had trapped her at such a ridiculous angle. "Are you hurt anywhere?" he asked. "What were you thinking? Did you climb?"
"Quinn called and said you were coming over, I wanted to get these down ready to give to...ow," Meira cried as she tried to move her leg.
"Meira, I want you to stay perfectly still for me," Quinn instructed, going straight into nurse mode. "Noah, could you call 911 for me please? I think your mother has broken her hip," she explained as she checked her patient, her voice and manner both upbeat, normal, keeping the information brief and concise.
"Well you can't stay at home, can you?" Puck argued as his mother once again refused his offer of a place to stay when she left the hospital. "You won't be able to manage the stairs."
"I'll get help or something," Meira shrugged, fiddling with her nails rather than looking at her son.
"Ma, our house is all on one level, the doorways are wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair if it's needed, there's the ramp to the front door, don't forget, the woman we bought the house from had made adaptions already for her son," Puck reminded Meira.
Meira looked up into her son's eyes. "What about Quinn?" she asked, tempted beyond belief by Puck's generous offer.
"I want you to come and stay too," Quinn said softly from the doorway of the hospital room. "I've just checked your nursing needs and your therapy needs," she explained, letting Meira know why she had arrived later than Puck. Quinn glanced at both Puckermans. "We can do this," she said with a grin, reminding Puck of his claim to her many, many years ago. Puck smiled back, his eye lids lowering a little as he looked at Quinn with love in his heart.
"But you're due to have the baby any day now," Meira protested, trying again to give them an out.
"And we will still manage," Puck said softly sitting on the bed beside his mother, hugging his arm around her shoulder as he smiled over at Quinn again.
Quinn nodded in agreement and stepped closer to the bed. "You'll recover much better once you're surrounded by loved ones," she said, one eyebrow quirked up, a smile playing on her lips. "We really, really want you to be with us," she whispered as she hugged her mother-in-law. Meira Puckerman capitulated.
Quinn's due date came and went, her temper shortened, Puck's patience lengthened which irritated Quinn even more. Four days later...
"Puck," Quinn whispered as she poked her husband's back. "Puck," she hissed as she nudged him harder. "Puck," she shouted as she kicked his legs.
"Wha...?" Puck tried to ask, swallowing and blinking in the bright light. "S'up?" he managed to say. Suddenly his eyes snapped wide open. "Shit," he hissed, "is it time?" he asked.
"Yessssssssss," Quinn groaned, her body tensing up as another contraction swept through her.
"Ok, ok," Puck said, slightly panicky as he dived out of bed and spun round a couple of times before he realised Quinn was laughing at him.
"Calm down," Quinn giggled, "we have bags of time, my water hasn't broken yet, my contractions aren't very regular, I just thought you might help me, I want to take a bath," she sighed. Puck's tense shoulders sagged a little, relief coursing through him. He went to run Quinn's bath water.
Three hours later, just as dawn was breaking, Puck guided Quinn from the house to the car. "We'll call as soon as anything happens," he reassured his sister. "Just make sure mom's ok, you can bring her to the hospital later," he suggested.
"Good luck," Keren called happily to them both. "They'll be fine," she reassured Rome as he stood guard beside her, an odd sort of sound coming from his throat, not a bark, not quite a growl, more like he was trying to talk.
The sun was on the cusp of setting when Daniel Puckerman came into the world, screaming and bawling, making his presence known. Puck went out to the waiting room to announce the news to the gathering of family and friends. "Eight pounds twelve ounces," he told them before he actually revealed the sex of the baby. "Born at five thirteen pm," he added, drawing out the suspense.
"Get on with it," Santana Lopez-Pierce yelled, her hand gripped tightly in Brittany's. "You can give us the details later," she growled with a mock scowl.
"Come on," Sam and Mercedes Evans shouted, both of them with huge grins, adding their voices to all the others.
"Alright, alright," Puck laughed, raising his hands to bring calm back to the waiting room. "I am immensely proud," he began formally before the huge grin took over his face, "and incredibly relieved," he added, "to announce the birth of our son, Daniel Asher Puckerman," he grinned.
"A boy, it's a boy," Meira cried happily, clasping her hands together, pressing them against her chest. "I have a grandson," she almost wailed, her joy spilling over as tears rolled down her cheeks. "How is Quinn?" she asked.
"Quinn is fine, very happy, very exhausted, very beautiful and I love her so much," Puck managed to say, his voice fading to a whisper. "And now I'm going back in to her, I'll let you know if she's ready for visitors," he said, turning away from everyone.
"He is so gorgeous," Quinn sighed as she checked her son over for the hundredth time since his birth.
"Just like his daddy," Puck grinned, leaning over to check his son too. Quinn rolled her eyes and pulled a face. "I love you," he sighed as he leaned a little further to kiss her.
"I love you too," Quinn murmured against his lips.
"Hi," Beth's excited voice broke them apart. "Let me at him," she cried, rushing to Quinn's bedside. "Oh, he's so beautiful," she moaned. "Hello beautiful," she whispered as Quinn relinquished the baby to Beth's waiting arms. "I'm your big sister," she said softly, introducing herself to the blinking baby, "and you are so loved," she added just before her voice broke. "You look just like her," she said with wonder. "Doesn't he? He looks just like Gila, just like my Jellybean."
"He looks just like you," Puck corrected Beth, "all three of you, identical, well, almost, he does have some differences," he teased. "You do have excellent genes though," he added with a self congratulating smile. "Yeah." Beth and Quinn looked at each other then burst out laughing startling the baby a little.
"And this is Rome," Puck said as he carried the baby around the house, introducing him to his new home and family. "He will protect you," he said, gazing at Daniel's ever changing expression, "he protects us all."
"Really, we can do dinner, you should rest Quinn," Meira advised as she limped into the kitchen with the aid of a walking stick.
"Mom's right," Keren agreed, nodding wisely at Quinn.
"I can peel potatoes," Beth offered.
"You can call for take out," Puck contradicted with a short laugh. "You think your mom doesn't talk to us?" he asked, Beth had the grace to blush. "Go sit down, all of you, I'll take care of dinner, ok, go coo over this little guy," he said with a wink at Quinn then led the way to the lounge, settling Daniel in his crib as Quinn eased herself gingerly down onto the couch.
That first evening at home was in turns relaxing, stressful, peaceful, demanding and just plain magical. As Daniel wailed for his supper, Quinn couldn't help the flood of tears that overtook her. "What's wrong?" Puck asked, hoping there was something he could do.
"I just never thought we'd ever hear another baby cry in this house, not after Gilly, not after all the miscarriages, I just didn't think it'd ever happen," Quinn sniffed, letting her head drop onto Puck's shoulder as his arm came around to comfort her. "And I didn't ever think I would feel this complete ever again," she sighed.
"Me either," Puck agreed, his lips in Quinn's hair as he watched her feed the baby. "He's just perfect," he sighed.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear mommy, happy birthday to you," Puck and Danny sang together, waking Quinn up to have breakfast in bed. Danny bounced on the bed beside his mommy. Quinn groaned.
"Thank you," she said, her voice husky from sleep. "Breakfast," she sighed, sniffing appreciatively at the single tulip in the tall glass, loving that her two guys had done this for her.
"I'm married to an old woman," Puck murmured. "How does it feel to be forty?" he asked with a huge grin.
"Just wait four months then you'll know," Quinn replied with a very fake smile. "Not that you'll live another four months if you went ahead with that ridiculous surprise party idea," she warned.
"We didn't," Puck assured her. "Do you want to open your presents right now?" he asked, getting excited to give her the one from him, plucking two gifts from his nightstand.
"Can I help you open them mommy?" Danny asked, excitement fizzing through him. "It's from me and Jelly, it's a picture of me and Beth," he shouted as Quinn picked up an inexpertly wrapped item.
"Oh honey, thank you," Quinn exclaimed as she opened the package. "It's beautiful, you look so handsome in your suit and Beth looks so beautiful in her wedding dress," she sighed, showing the photograph to Puck who nodded his agreement. Danny had been the ring bearer at Beth's wedding to her high school sweetheart just a month ago, they'd stayed strong and faithful to each other despite attending colleges thousands of miles apart. Quinn was so proud of both of them.
"This one's from daddy," Danny cried, his excitement growing with each passing moment.
"Thank you," Quinn told him, taking the small package from her son. "Thank you," she murmured to Puck against his lips.
"Stop kissing and open it," Danny urged, bouncing on the bed again. "It's a..." was as far as he got before Puck clamped his hand over his son's mouth.
"Let's let mommy open this one to find out what it is," Puck suggested then watched Quinn's face as she opened the box to find a replica of her engagement ring, the one that had been missing for fourteen years.
"Oh," Quinn sighed as tears rushed to her eyes, she rapidly blinked them away. "Oh it's perfect," she whispered, admiring the ring on her finger. "It's bigger than the original," she commented appreciatively, twisting it back and forth slightly to get the best position of the stone against her wedding ring.
"Yeah, well, I bought you the original with the money I had left over from my LA fund," Puck reminded Quinn with a sheepish drop of his head, "after I'd coughed up five hundred dollars to my dad for his rent."
"I know and I refused to wear it all the time I was away at college, just in case either of us changed our minds," Quinn reminisced, hugging Puck round the neck, feeling him pressed against her, his tight body against her more voluptuous figure. "I'm glad I said yes," she whispered.
"I'm glad you did too," Puck whispered back. "Happy anniversary for tomorrow too," he added before his tongue swept into her mouth for a sneaky kiss.
"No, we're all going out to dinner, Beth and Scott are meeting us at Breadstix, Keren and Paul are bringing my mom and Shelby sends her apologies," Puck replied to Quinn's fifth time of asking if he had arranged a surprise party. "Why? Did you really want one despite all the protests?" he asked, schooling his features into a semblance of a worried frown.
"Of course I didn't," Quinn replied. "But it just seems weird that I haven't even heard from Mercedes or Rachel or Santana and they know how much I've been dreading turning forty," she explained. "The only logical reason is that they will all be wherever we are going to be tonight," she shrugged as if she'd solved one of life's great mysteries.
Puck sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sorry to disappoint you," he said, "but maybe they all forgot," he suggested.
"One, maybe," Quinn said, looking at him with more intent now, "all of them? Not a chance." Puck gulped, Quinn spotted it and the little nervous twitch at the side of his mouth. "Aha," she cried in her head. "Bingo, and the master sleuth Quinn does it again, move over Sergeant Puckerman, let your wife do the detecting," she crowed silently.
"I love Breadstix mommy," Danny sighed happily from the back of the car. "You do too, don't you?" he asked his imaginary friend. "Jelly does too, mommy," he told Quinn.
"I'm pleased that she does, sweetie," Quinn replied with an indulgent smile. Danny's imaginary friend was present more and more these days, maybe she would disappear when he started kindergarten in September.
Quinn felt a jolt of excitement as they found a space in the parking lot outside Beadstix, she didn't know whether to tell Puck that she'd spotted several of their friends' cars in the lot or not. "Forgotten my birthday my ass," Quinn thought with a grin she tried to hide.
"Remember what we have to shout as soon as we walk through the door?" Puck whispered into Danny's ear then managed to silence him so that he didn't shout it prematurely. Danny nodded. "Right then, let's go," Puck called and led the way, pausing at the door to open it for Quinn to precede him.
"Surprise," a multitude of voices cried out as Quinn walked in to the restaurant with Puck carrying Danny behind her.
Quinn turned to Puck with a huge smile on her face. "No surprise party, huh?" she asked, he shrugged a little and dropped a kiss on her lips. "But thank you, this is wonderful," she sighed as she turned back to see all of their friends, both old and new, waiting to give her their best wishes.
Slowly Quinn made her way around the gathering, greeting everyone and thanking them for making her day special. "Britt, Tana, it's so wonderful to see you both," she cried as the three of them hugged.
"It's great to see you too," Brittany replied, squeezing Quinn tight. "Who's the little girl with Danny?" she asked.
Quinn and Santana both looked over at the little boy who seemed to be talking to himself. "He's talking to his imaginary friend," Quinn explained, "it's something he's always done, he's always had her ever since he could talk," she shrugged and turned back to her friends.
"Well, she seems to be interested in everyone here, she's telling him things about us all," Brittany replied, a bit put out that neither Quinn nor Santana were taking her seriously. "And she took your original ring," she added a little more forcefully, looking at Quinn with narrow eyes. "What does that mean?" she asked, confused at the words that were coming out of her own mouth. "Who's Jellybean?" Brittany asked. "I'm going to get a drink, happy birthday Quinn," she said as she sailed away to the bar.
Quinn gulped and looked as if she'd been slapped across the face. "What-what did Brit just say?" she asked Santana as soon as she could formulate a coherent sentence.
"She said Jellybean," Santana whispered, knowing that Beth had always called her little sister that. "And the ring," she added aware that Quinn had lost her engagement ring shortly after Gila's funeral, Quinn had been devastated, she'd never thought she'd get it back, she'd focused all of her grieving on that, the loss of the ring, it was so much easier to do than think about the loss of her child. Quinn and Santana both looked back over to Danny, watched him swinging his hand, held out to the side as if holding someone's hand. Santana gulped again.
"Hey baby," Quinn murmured softly as she laid Danny on his bed when they got back home.
"Mmmmm," Danny sighed in his sleep as Quinn undressed him. "Jelly says happy birthday, mommy," he murmured, his eyes still closed.
Quinn glanced to the doorway to look at Puck. "Who's Jelly, baby?" she asked as she carefully, gently stripped off Danny's clothes. Puck looked at Quinn as though he was about to answer for his sleeping son. Quinn shook her head, silently asking him just to listen.
"My friend," Danny replied and shuffled round to lay curled up, still in his underwear and socks.
"What does Jelly look like?" Quinn asked, almost conversationally.
"Like Beth," Danny answered and turned over. "She says she's sorry for eating the paint mommy and she says to tell daddy that she has a cougar too. Night mommy, daddy, I miss you," he rambled on then snored a little.
"Night, baby," Puck said from the doorway. "Goodnight my angel," he added, only just able to talk past the lump in his throat.
"Good night sweetie," Quinn said quietly, closing her eyes as she felt herself surrounded, enclosed by an overwhelming sense of peace, of lightness, of warmth and of love. Crouched as she was by the side of Danny's bed, Quinn's head dropped to his mattress as the tears she had held back for years and years began to fall, necessary tears, healing tears.
Puck watched as the light that surrounded Quinn seemed to intensify for a second then just as quickly, disappeared entirely. He suddenly realised that he'd been holding his breath. Puck ran to Quinn's side. "God, Quinn, that was...that was..." he couldn't describe what he'd seen, what he'd felt, he just knew that he had witnessed the most intense moment of pure love. On his knees he drew Quinn into his arms and held her tight as they both cried.
"Daddy?" Danny said, his sleep husky voice just a whisper.
"Yes, son?" Puck said, wiping a tear from his cheek.
"Where did Jelly go?" Danny asked, looking round the room. "Will she be back?"
"I don't know," Puck replied. "I think maybe she said what she needed to say, I think maybe she's gone now." Danny nodded and settled himself into a more comfortable position, his eyes drifting closed once more. "Goodnight," Puck whispered and bent to kiss Danny's dark hair, "we love you so much," he told the sleeping boy. "Don't ever forget that, we love you, all of you, you, Beth, Gila, we love you all."
Apologies once again for the dark times that descend every December. Love you, Megan Elizabeth, forever in my heart.