Summary: Maybe they'd confused their love for hatred as they struggled and fought with all they had against losing and forgiving each other at the same time. Post 4x07. ChuckXBlair. Oneshot.
Just an idea I've been thinking of since the last episode and decided to write down. I would really love to know what you guys think as always, good or bad. :) (Also, if you are wondering, I am close to having a chapter done for another story, so I should be updating soon.)
One Night to be Confused
At first everything is happening so fast, Blair doesn't have time to even think about the significance of what they are about to do. Chuck's hands are everywhere, leaving a fiery path as they move across her body, landing in her hair, brushing across her thighs, pushing up her dress. It's been so long and even though part of her knows this is wrong, it feels too good for her to even consider pulling away.
They hate each other; plain and simple. A relationship is out of the question, maybe forever. But that doesn't mean she doesn't want him. Doesn't mean that she doesn't still think about him and his rough hands and gentle eyes every night before she goes to sleep. What it does mean though is that she can't forgive him, and no matter how badly she wishes that things were different, they aren't. Right now though, with him pressed tightly to her on top of the grand piano, none of that matters.
He pulls away for the briefest of moments to toss his jacket aside and she can't help but continue to reach out for him, her body already protesting the loss of contact. He obviously feels the same because when they collide again, he is somehow able to pull her even close than before.
Blair's arms go around his neck, her nails digging into his shirt as he pulls her thighs closer and presses himself against her. Her body is alive with want and need and anticipation and suddenly this can't happen fast enough. He obviously agrees because instantly his fingers push into her skin as he tugs at her stockings and rips at her garter desperately.
She closes her eyes and moans in appreciation as his lips attach to her neck, sucking and licking and hitting all the spots he knows drive her crazy. She needs him now, and in this moment, it feels like she's never needed anything more in her life.
Her hands move from his shoulders to somehow fit between their impossibly close bodies and find their way to his waist. Immediately her hands fist into his shirt, pulling it up and untucking it from his tailored pants with no grace what so ever. Her small fingers push up and underneath the maroon fabric and splay out against the warm skin of his stomach and move around to the small of his back to hold him tighter.
Chuck's wet, harsh kisses trail from her neck to her shoulder and she whimpers in appreciation as he nips against her skin and she lets her hands fall to the waist of his pants.
Her hands drag across his skin, scratching his warm flesh as she brushes against it, nearing closer and closer to his zipper when something makes her pause.
She pulls back and her eyes snap open as her thumb stays pressed against the angry bump on his skin that was never there before. She swallows against the emotion in her throat as reality suddenly comes crashing down around her.
Chuck continues to spread his kisses across her skin and dig his hands into her back until he notices she's suddenly frozen in his arms and he briefly stops. He pulls back and looks at her, still panting with want and need, when the look on her face catches him completely off guard. She almost looks sad as she looks down and he finds himself completely confused.
"Blair?" he breathes quickly and huskily, eager to get back to what they were doing. But when she lets out a shaky breath and shakes her head dumbly, he suddenly realizes where her hand is resting. His heart continues to race, but now it's for completely different reasons than it was just a moment ago. "Blair, I-"
She bites her lip and all but ignores him as she reaches out and lifts his shirt, exposing the round scar to the dim light in the room and the second her eyes land on it she just wants to cry.
Chuck was shot. She knew this already, of course, but it was a fact that she had never really thought about. Instead she had simply pushed it aside and ignored it because she didn't want to think about it. Looking at the small scar that she knows almost killed him now though, it's a fact she can't ignore and every thing feels all too real.
Suddenly now, as she sits atop the piano in her mother's living room, it doesn't feel so rushed and carefree as it did just a few minutes ago. Chuck doesn't feel like an enemy she's about to have benefits with, he feels like the boy she loved with all her heart and who loved her too, before he broke her.
He feels like her other half that almost died and she had absolutely no idea.
Tentatively, he rubs his hand across her back and pulls her closer to try and nudge her out of her shocked stance. He is unprepared though, for the heartbroken, watery gaze that lands on him when her eyes suddenly snap up to meet his.
"Blair," he starts softly, his voice thick with a sudden onslaught of emotion. "Blair, it's okay," he tries to assure her. "I'm fine. It's just a scar-"
She cuts him off with a kiss, slow and hard, her whole body trembling with the force of her feelings.
He is surprised when her lips land on his but he quickly responds and there is something about it that makes the stirrings in his stomach so much stronger than before. The kiss is different from any of the ones from just a few moments ago. This kiss feels like before, when they were in love and together and everything seemed perfect and felt like forever. This kiss feels like love.
She pulls back and they stare at each other, both breathing heavily, emotions running wild between the two of them, and not just the hate that had been burning between them for the last six months.
Gently she pushes against his shoulders, pushing him away and his heart sinks but he understands. Maybe they don't hate each other as much as they thought did, and maybe that makes wrong and too close to something they can't have again.
Chuck steps back and helps her down from the piano, reluctantly removing his hands from her sides once she is standing steadily on the ground. He smiles sadly down at her, his heart going a mile a minute because he doesn't want to leave like this. He doesn't want to leave period but he's not going to fight her. He doesn't want to fight with her at all anymore because when it comes down to it, he just wants her. He turns around to collect his jacket when her small hand lands on his arm and stops him.
She takes a deep breath as his questioning eyes land on her. She wants him. Sure she's confused about everything between them; she doesn't know if they can ever get passed everything or even if they did if they could even last together, but right now she decides not to worry about all that. Her hand slides into his, she intertwines her fingers with his.
He feels her gently tug on his hand for him to follow and when he sees that she is leading him towards the stairs, his stomach is suddenly fluttering with long forgotten butterflies.
They ascend the stairs slowly, like they both know they are about to do something huge, because now they both clearly know what they are about to do, unlike the rushed, thoughtless coupling they were about to have. They are making a conscious decision to do this and that alone makes everything completely different.
He brings her tiny hand up and places a soft kiss against her skin as they reach the top of the stairs. She looks back at him and smiles softly over her shoulder pulling him behind her into her room and locking the door behind them.
–––
Chuck wakes up the next morning surprised to find his face buried into familiar, luscious brown curls and his arms wrap tight around warm, bare skin. He squints his eyes as everything comes rushing back to him and a slow smirk spreads across his face.
He holds Blair closer as he remembers the way she wouldn't let him pull away, even for a second, during the three rounds they'd had in her bed the night before, not that he even wanted to pull away from her ever. He remembers the wanton and confident but somehow still shy way she carried herself in bed that has always been uniquely Blair. He remembers the small kiss she'd placed on his bullet wound scar once they were completely naked in front of each other for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.
He kisses the back of her neck as he finds his stomach aflutter with a feeling he never wants to let go of; love.
Her eyes slowly flicker open and the bright morning sunshine stings and makes her squint. She lazily wonders where her eye mask is as she closes her brown eyes again and tries to fall back asleep as she cuddles back into Chuck's arms.
In an instant her eyes snap open wide.
Chuck.
She bites her lip as her heart instantly starts racing.
She remembers how harsh and fast and angry everything had started before it all turned so unexpectedly slow and careful and loving. She clearly remembers the way he looked at her while he was inside her with the same soft, watery gaze he used to get every time he told her he loved her and how he touched her with such care and thought that he drove her body wild while her her heart felt full with emotions she dared not speak.
She hadn't expected this at all, especially not after they had just declared their hate for each other. But maybe it's possible they'd confused their love for hatred as they struggled and fought with all they had against losing and forgiving each other at the same time.
She turns in his arms and he feels a warmness in his veins as her sleepy brown eyes land on him, her hair in disarray and her face make-up free and looking beautiful in a way he hasn't allowed himself to truly appreciate in months. "Hi," he breathes quietly as a small smile curls his lips.
She's completely confused, unsure of what all this means or what the future holds, and usually she would be too wound up and worried to do anything but lash out and calculate every action she takes, but somehow she finds herself simply smiling back. "Hi."
He reaches out and brushes a stray hair away from her forehead. "So last night was.." he starts but doesn't know what adjective he could ever pick to describe every thing last night had been.
He trails off and she understands. "Yeah," she agrees breathlessly with a small nod. She bites her lip and rests her hand against his warm chest and avoids his gaze as his fingers ghost across her skin, making her shiver. A few comfortable beats of silence pass by as they lay together, thinking, curled up under her covers. All of this had all been too real and emotional to be a one night stand, but how could it be anything more? Her heart clenches at the thought of the past and the future and everything that they have come to.
She swallows back her emotions and hesitantly looks up at him. "What happens now?"
He contemplates her question quietly, feeling just as confused and unsure as she is, before he shrugs helplessly. "Breakfast?"
She blankly stares at him for a long moment before a giggle suddenly erupts from deep within her and her face flushes with laughter.
A big silly grin grows on his lips at the sound of her girlish, bubbly giggles; he can't help it.
"Breakfast?" she repeats the extremely simple answer to the very complex question she had asked with a smile. There way are too many things they still need to talk about and so many things they need to deal with, but she doesn't want to fight and she knows doesn't want him to leave. She can't begin to remember the last time being in Chuck's presence had made her smile even the slightest bit and she doesn't want it to stop. She sighs before nodding and bringing her hand to rest on the side of his strong jaw. "Okay," she agrees simply. Maybe it will all be easier if they just take everything one step at a time instead of trying to take it all on at once, and maybe step one can be something as simple as having breakfast together. "Breakfast it is- but I'm not cooking."
He snorts and now it's his turn to laugh. "Like you even could."
"You're one to talk, Bass," she smiles and playfully shoves him.
He grins at her, his arms going around her waist. "We'll order in," he suggests as he hold her tighter.
She nods, her warm smile turning serious as she realizes just how close and just how bare they are. "First though," she starts, her hand starting a dangerous trail down his skin. "How about we.." she trails off as she leans into him, kissing him so slowly it's almost torturous.
He grins devilishly as she pulls back, his body and his heart responding quickly and eagerly. "Whatever you want, Waldorf."
Fin.
Feedback greatly appreciated. :)