Senpai Suck My Ass

Part 1: Notice me, sempai!

Varona lay in bed, staring at her phone. Her face was bright red and occasionally she would let out an adorable fangirl squee. Thoughts of her sempai and his cuteness were keeping her awake again, so she had to look at some pictures of Shizuo's beautiful face. "Kawaiiiiiiiii" she said to herself as she scrolled to a picture of him smoking a cigarette.

She hadn't always thought Sempai was kawaii. Vorona became his kohai so she could get close to him and then kill him. But he had thawed her icy kokoro with his overwhelming moe, and now she just wished that cigarette was her penis. She scrolled to a candid shot of Shizuo taking a nap and almost died from the kawaii. I could stare at you all night, Sempai. she thought. She needed to get some rest though. Tomorrow was a big day.

Valentine's day, the day I finally confess my rabu for Sempai. She glanced nervously at the cake box on the table. Varona-chan didn't have much experience baking but she found instructions on the internet and it looked daijobu anyway. Sempai will have to notice me if I give him a sugoi cake. I better get my beauty sleep so I can look kawaii for him. Then she fapped herself to sleep.

The next morning she took a shower and then put on a kawaii sugoi outfit. She was wearing a pink and white sailor dress and pink ribbons in her hair. She grabbed the cake box and went to work. Shizuo was already there and so was Tom but no one cares about him and most of the fanfictions never mention him.

"Ohayo Shizuo-sempai" She said with much moe animu kuudere-ness.

"Ohayo Varona-chan." He noticed her animu schoolgirl outfit. "Why are you all dressed up? You look really kawaiiiiiiiiiiiii."

Varona-chan blushed deeply. Sempai noticed meee~~and complimented meeee~~! It gave her confidence. Maybe Sempai will accept my cake and rabu. Well he'll probably accept the cake anyway he likes cake.

"Shizuo-sempai can I talk to you arone for a minute desu?" she asked and glared at Tom.

"Ok. Fuck off Tom-san."

"Yeah nobody likes you Tom-san-kun-chan."

Tom left to do whatever Tom does and left them alone. "Sempai, do you know what today is?"

"Eh?...It's February something."

Varona giggled like a kawaii japanese schoolgirl desu. "It's Varentinesu day, baka!"

"Oh, is that why you're dlessed like that? Did you get a boyfliend or something uguu?"

"Ie...Sempai, I made you a kawaii sugoi cake!" she said and shoved the box towards his facu. "Daisuki! #"

"Eeeeeeeh?!" Shizu chan sempai said like a shocked animu shojo because he had low self esteem aw :(

"But I suck desu." He said (aww seeeempaaaaiii I just wanna hug him nyaaaa~~~)

"No you don't you're really moe and I want to suck your penis!"

"...What?"

"You're moe uguu. I didn't say anything about your penisu. Eat your cake."

So they took the cake out and fed each other and it was very kawaii and kind of sexy. Tom watched them from behind a corner and cried and masturbated because he secretly was in rabu with Shizuo for many desu years. Then they all lemembeled they had jobs so they put the cake up and Tom put his penisu away and they went out to take peopre's money or whatever.

While they were walking to some assuhoru's house Shizuo and Vorona held hands and Tom graled at them but they didn't notice because they were looking at each other's booties.

Stop getting so handsy with Shizuo you fucking cunt, Tom thought, you think you're hot stuff just because you've got big oppai and a kawaii Russian accent? You think you can just swoop in and steal my kohai just by giving him a baka cunt cake? I've been noticing the shit out of him for years! I've earned some Shizuo penis dammit! Nipaa! Why won't he notice me! Kohai, please notice me!

They arrived at the guy's house to get his money desu. He called Shizuo a wanker and got a bus thrown at him and probably died and they had to use all the money they took from him to bribe the cops.

During their runch bleak, Shizuo and Varona shared a crepe and had indirect kissu while Tom watched them and cried again. Then Izaya came out from behind nothing in particular.

"Daddy spank me," he said.

"Fuck off Izaya-kun, this one's not about you."

"Hai we're trying to have indirect kissu,"

"Stab the bitch, Izaya!" Tom said but nobody heard him so it was ok.

"Are you cheating on me Shizu-chan?! Why won't you spank me?! Daddy~~?!"

Shizuo yelled "I'm not your Dad!" and threw a bench at Izaya but he dodged and ran away and wasn't in this fanfiction again nya.

A/N: The title comes from a pewdiepie song that I can't put a link to cuz its ffn. It's so catchy and now it gets stuck in my head whenever someone says sempai. It's also spelled 'senpai' sometimes, but I looked it up and apparently they both can work or something idk. I also wasn't sure how to spell Varona chan's name since a lot of people spell it 'Vorona' but the official stuffs seems to use 'Varona' but Russian is confusing I don't know ^-^ Twist: what if they're both wrong and it's actually supposed to be Marklar?