Moshi-chan: I don't own these children, but I must warn you they're slightly OOC.

"God dammit!" Jean Descole table flipped one of his fancy tables (poor table). "When I come up with an absolutely fabulous plan, that top-hat Layton ALWAYS ruins it! Henchman!" A masked henchman ran up to his side. "Tissue." The henchman gave Descole his tissue to then witness his crying. "Oh, woe is meeeeeee, why can't I have heaps of people on my side for onceeeeeeeee..." The henchman sweatdropped. Raymond did the Macarena.

"Gin."

"Yes, Aizen-sama?"

"I'm going to have a temper tantrum."

"Ok..." Gin wasn't actually expecting one to happen.

"WHY DOES ICHIGO'S SIDE HAVE MORE SUPPORTERS THAN MINE!? I'M AWESOMER, BETTER, STRONGER AND THE RULER OF HUECO MUNDO! LAST TIME I CHECKED CHICKS WANTED VILLIANOUS MEN! AND EVERY SINGLE FIGHT WITH MY ESPADA HAS ENDED UP WITH THEM DYING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS AUTHOR!? I WISH THERE WAS A FELLOW MASTERMIND TO HELP ME WITH WORLD DOMINATION!"

"Um..."

"SHUT UP!"

"Where are you going?"

"TO THE LAB, GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?"*

(in the lab)

"That felt good. Now let's see, this portal needs a hopeful wish, a lock of pink and blue hair, a spoon, a fedora and a violin**. Good thing I have little baby boxes from when my Arrancar were born." Aizen unlocked a hidden cabinet and took out two small golden chests each inscribed with "Grimmjow Jaegerjacques" and "Szayelaporro Granz", respectively. These chests each included two photos (of when they were hollows and when they were first born), teddy bears (Grimmjow's was ripped and had bite marks in it while Szayel's had acid burns, stitches and missing stuffing) and of course, locks of hair. Aizen picked these up and dropped them into a boiling cauldron in the middle of the room (Ooh, did Aizen go to Hogwarts? Is he in league with England?). The contents turned a light purple (We've all had art lessons, haven't we?). "A hopeful wish...Well, I hope this works." The contents then turned chartreuse.*** "A spoon I can get from Nnoitra's room, because my teaspoons are too valuable, and probably the fedora and the violin from the junk in Aaroniero's room. Better hurry, they're both out today."

(in Nnoitra's room)

Nnoitra had a spoon cupboard. "This should do nicely." Aizen grabbed for the latch but then noticed a sign written in scrabbly handwriting.

"Eh? 'Do not touch the spoons or you will release the Excalibur?' Nice try, son. I'll take the spoon called Ralph." Aizen unlocked the cupboard and (probably) regretted it. A hatch in the ceiling opened and a strange white creature fell out...

...onto Aizen's head.

"Greetings. I am the legendary sword Excalibur.**** Do you wish to be my meister? W-wait! Where are you going!?"

Aizen would've stayed and listened on a normal day. But today he upped and ran (with the spoon) at the sound of footsteps to Aaroniero's room (they turned out to be Tōsen's as he was cleaning the hallway).

"Aizen-sama?"

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner!? What is this 'reality'!? Find someway to get there, and fast!" Descole's henchmen were glad it was almost Christmas.

(in Aaroniero's room)

"Oh... that was just Tōsen. Never mind, he'll find it weird if I go back there again. Actually, I think he already does seeing me walk out at all. Now, where is that junk pile?" Aizen swore he heard whispering, but he dismissed it as his imagination (You do get hallucinations when Szayel cooks dinner, after all).

(behind him)

"Do you think he's the boss of that creepy guy who stole my hat and your violin, Marie?" Phantom R***** tried to comfort the crying girl. "We'll just have to wait and see."

(back to Aizen)

"I must curse the fact it's so dark in here, but I need to thank my luck that I found it. A fedora and a violin. Where have I seen this hat before and why is there this retarded looking mark on the violin? Oh well, none of my business." Aizen snuck out before Tōsen could find him again.

(behind him)

"H-he just called my violin retarded!" Marie was at bawling point. "And he just took my hat!" Phantom R was more like Angry Not-so-phantom R.

"What may you kids be doing here? This isn't the place for the likes of you! Do, do come with me." Uh oh. Someone had found them.

Descole was over it. "Are you done yet!?" The henchman making the portal shook his head. The last thing we need are locks of pink and blue hair. And well... none of us have hair except for you and Raymond, Master. And Raymond's doing the Macarena." Descole was ready for anything but that. "A-are you saying that I have to dye my hair for the sake of this portal?" "Y-yes, master." "I shall do it! Henchman, bring me hair dye!" Another henchman scuttled off to find some hair dye. When he came back, "Henchman. Dye my hair pink on one side and blue on the other. Here, I'll take my hat and mask off so it's easier."

(later)

"I-I look fabulous! I'll almost regret cutting my hair..." Descole produced a golden pair of scissors and snipped a lock from each side of his head. "This should do. Now, let me witness the creation of the most fabulous portal in history!" Descole dropped his locks into the boiling pot (which turned a wicked hipster pink******) and stood back to reveal a floating pink portal in the cauldron's place. "Well, that's another five hundred dollars to buy a new cauldron. But there's no time to waste!" Descole leapt into the portal, dragging one of his henchmen with him. Raymond did the Macarena.

"Hmm... I can't go alone. I shouldn't take Gin, Tōsen or my Espada, so maybe one of the Espada's fraccion? How about Tesra? He seems normal enough." Aizen paced the room but stopped upon hearing footsteps "Uh oh, is that Tōsen again?" It wasn't Tōsen, but is was Nnoitra and his fraccion Tesra. Aizen poked his head out of the door. "Ah, Tesra. Just the person I need. Nnoitra, may I borrow him for a while?" "Yeah, but ya'd better give 'im back, ya hear, Aizen-sama?" Nnoitra stalked off. "What do you want with me, sir?" Tesra was sweating buckets from his nerves. "I'm on a mission that I assigned myself, which is to go find myself a fellow mastermind. You're probably the only normal Arrancar here, so I decided to take you. Got that? Let's go!" Aizen jumped into the portal, taking Tesra with him. Which was a good thing, because Nnoitra noticed that one of his spoons were missing.

"MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Moshi-chan: Ooh, what's gonna happen? I'm giving you guys a say here. And also, I'm thinking of doing an auction fic, but I'm stuck between Soul Eater, FMA, Ace Attorney and Professor Layton. Help please!

*: Spinoff of a line from Big Bang Theory (i.e. "To the toilet! Is that fine with you!?")

**: The hopeful wish is from Smurfs 2, the next two are from Bleach and the last two are from Rhythm Thief and the Emperor's Treasure. (If you get what I mean with the ones from Bleach, gimme a shout!)

***: It's a pretty ugly shade of green. Or was that chartreuse yellow?

****: He's from Soul Eater. Probably the worst partner ever.

*****: The pair are from Rhythm Thief.

******: Hetalia reference. Poland's thing.